Here goes. This is my first time back on VST in MONTHS! I'm struggling. I'm over 13 months out and have only lost about 55lbs. I started my journey at 345lbs. Got down to 279lbs, and now I'm back up to 289lbs. I am a real-life WLS failure. I don't exercise. I eat things I shouldn't. I keep food in front of me for long periods of time, so that I end up grazing all day. Basically, I break all the rules. I'm not asking WHY I'm not losing weight. I'm just trying to see if there's anyone out there who was in a situation similar to mine and was able to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and ended up being a success... I can't relate to all the people (seemingly everyone on here) who get full after a few tbsp of food and who love to exercise all day. Is there anyone out there who can relate to this?

Absolutely can relate :-) I have been very fortunate to not have gained any weight but if I keep on behaving like I have been, I will. We know what we have to do: limit ourselves to actual meals & planned Snacks (no grazing! we are NOT cows!); limit carbs; move our bodies more.

Now that we know what we have to do, let's DO IT !

Hi I'm only six months out but I know you are not alone. There are plenty of people here that still struggle with food addiction issues (me included)

I'm glad that you came back! There are several threads where we have very active conversations about this subject, also there is a veteran forum that has people further out like you.

Laura

I haven't had the surgery, but did want to just give you a ((hug)) and say I hope you will use your "tool" to get to your goal.

We all know the sleeve doesn't cure us of the mental attachment to food...that is a life long process for a lot of us. Have you tried counseling to deal with the "head hunger"?

Your sleeve is just like my treadmill at home. I know how to use it, but it does me no good at getting to my goal if I don't use it (and turning it on and letting it run without me actually stepping on it does not count). Your sleeve is just a tool...and the great news is you still have it available.

Go back to how you started after surgery. Start eating those Proteins first 60 - 80g a day. Drink your fluids. Start walking and build up from there. Track your calories and stick to around 800 - 1,000 (or whatever your nutritionist recommended after your tiny tummy healed up). 5 small meals a day and no grazing...

You can still get to your goal. There is hope for you girl...so run with it!

But as someone about to have surgery and who is a food addict, I sure do appreciate your honesty. It means a lot to me, and I know dealing with my own head stuff is gonna suck bad...

The sleeve it a tool...not a cure! I still have the food addiction...it's a daily battle!! But you know what to do...protein, protein, protein & water, water, water!! Protein fills me quicker anyway! Sorry,but there's no "easy" way out....you gotta make a life style change! I also HATE exercise...don't think that will EVER change....so I try doing fun things like walking my dogs in the park, or with my hubby, daughters or grandkids! Good luck...you CAN do this...you have the tool!!

First off, hugs to you. I didn't realize my addiction to food until I had 85% of my stomach removed. I knew I enjoyed eating and strongly disliked exercise. I now realize I am a food addict. I still think about food a lot, and my next meal, but the sleeve has given me (or taken from me) the ability to consume the amounts I previously had. 55 lbs is still something to be extremely proud of!

I need to focus more on cutting out the Snacks (even though they're protein) and just focus on 3 meals. I think it is the snacks that are slowing my WL down.

Hang in there. You've still got the tool built inside you...can can totally do this!

It's wonderful that you've reached out for support/help/encouragement. I'm still rather new to the journey, only being 7wks out as of tomorrow. BUT, I'm here if there is anything I might be able to do/say that will help. Just inbox anytime.

So, I didn't have your experience with the sleeve, but i failed pretty miserably with the lapband, so i can relate to how you feel. You are smarter then me though, you have reached out for help which i was never able to effectively do with the lapband failure.

Just some ideas, food for thought so to speak....

People who are succesful don't love to exercise all day. In fact, they are the obsessive ones.

Instead, some of us committed to exercise as part of the program and then once we got into it realized that it feels good (it didn't at first!). In fact, I feel that exercise is part of my mental health as much as physical.

Consider trying something like Water aerobics that is energizing, easy on the joints and at least for me, just felt good.

The whole food thing - that is a struggle for alot of us - me included. You are in a bad spot because you are so far out and haven't been able to win these battles enough times YET. That doesn't mean it is hopeless. I think there is this fundamental shift that needs to happen somewhere along the way. The surgery helped me make that shift during that window of time when I didn't like eating. It was easier to deal with the emotional baggage around food when I wasn't physically desiring it. I still consider it a lifelong war - right now I am in the maintenance phase but feel the need to be vigilant, while learning to eat "naturally"

I truly believe that a great deal of the struggle is physical - it isn't all "in your head". Success bring success... as you lose weight, your body doesn't fight quite as hard to keep overeating. As you lose weight, you feel good, you feel even more motivation because you physically feel better. I know some of it is "food issues" but don't discount the power of plenty of Protein, plenty of water and avoiding carbs. Hard at first, but makes it easier over time.

When I eat carbs... I get hungry. Plain and simple physical response.

Best of luck!!!

I hope that you continue to reach out here, there is power in numbers I believe..

I have gotten into the habit of checking in with a few friends here daily. But I also found that opening up fully to my husband helps a lot.

We are very close but I never really let him into my true feelings with food, you see I am a "uncover eater" I eat when I'm alone. It's been been nothing but a positive experience telling him. I am able to check in with him daily and have honest conversations about my struggle at any given point and what put me I'm that place and how I chose to deal with it.

Willing to offer support and encouragement, sleeved April 2012, have sent you a pm.

Absolutely can relate :-) I have been very fortunate to not have gained any weight but if I keep on behaving like I have been, I will. We know what we have to do: limit ourselves to actual meals & planned Snacks (no grazing! we are NOT cows!); limit carbs; move our bodies more.

Now that we know what we have to do, let's DO IT !

Lol. We are not cows! I think I need to buy a timer and set it before I start a meal. The timer goes off and whatever isn't finished gets thrown away...!!

I haven't had the surgery, but did want to just give you a ((hug)) and say I hope you will use your "tool" to get to your goal.

We all know the sleeve doesn't cure us of the mental attachment to food...that is a life long process for a lot of us. Have you tried counseling to deal with the "head hunger"?

Your sleeve is just like my treadmill at home. I know how to use it, but it does me no good at getting to my goal if I don't use it (and turning it on and letting it run without me actually stepping on it does not count). Your sleeve is just a tool...and the great news is you still have it available.

Go back to how you started after surgery. Start eating those Proteins first 60 - 80g a day. Drink your fluids. Start walking and build up from there. Track your calories and stick to around 800 - 1,000 (or whatever your nutritionist recommended after your tiny tummy healed up). 5 small meals a day and no grazing...

You can still get to your goal. There is hope for you girl...so run with it!

But as someone about to have surgery and who is a food addict, I sure do appreciate your honesty. It means a lot to me, and I know dealing with my own head stuff is gonna suck bad...

It's funny that it took having the surgery for me to really realize that I had a food addiction. This is definitely the thing that I don't know how to fix. I know how I'm supposed to eat, exercise, etc. I just don't know how to wrap my head around the emotional/mental stuff that I now know I need to deal with...

I hope that you continue to reach out here, there is power in numbers I believe..

I have gotten into the habit of checking in with a few friends here daily. But I also found that opening up fully to my husband helps a lot.

We are very close but I never really let him into my true feelings with food, you see I am a "uncover eater" I eat when I'm alone. It's been been nothing but a positive experience telling him. I am able to check in with him daily and have honest conversations about my struggle at any given point and what put me I'm that place and how I chose to deal with it.

I'm in a weird spot with my husband. Obviously, he loves me and wants me to be happy. And I certainly wouldn't say that he tries to sabotage me. He needs to lose weight himself, he knows it and has expressed a desire to do so. He just doesn't exactly help provide an environment that support my success. There is absolutely one side of me that says I just need to man up and take care of myself and leave him to fend for himself. But the other side of me wants to get him involved in the process.

I'm in a weird spot with my husband. Obviously' date=' he loves me and wants me to be happy. And I certainly wouldn't say that he tries to sabotage me. He needs to lose weight himself, he knows it and has expressed a desire to do so. He just doesn't exactly help provide an environment that support my success. There is absolutely one side of me that says I just need to man up and take care of myself and leave him to fend for himself. But the other side of me wants to get him involved in the process.[/quote']

Oh! That's got to be hard! If he's struggling with food also it's hard to get the support you need...

My husband is one of those "fit" people that actually loves exercise... I don't know what's worse!! Though my husband is fit he is still able to eat anything, but if I tell him I'm struggling he will be very conscientious of what he brings into the house.

Do you do the shopping? You can start there by buying things that are not a trigger? Also tell him,

Hey I want both of us to be healthy and I need help, so lets do this together.

Thanks for all of the encouragement, guys. I know what I need to do. I'm just having a hard time making myself do what I need to do. I'm sure that's very frustrating to hear. Lol. I feel like I'm just as bad as those "I had surgery 12 hours ago, when can I eat a Big Mac?" questions. D'oh!

I do think it's time to get back to the structured eating from before. Protein shake for breakfast, some sort of protein morning snack, etc.

Again, thanks for the encouragement!!

Are there post-bariatric surgery support groups in your area? One of my surgeon's requirements is that his patients stay "in his program" for at least five years after being sleeved (same for lapband and RNY patients). There are support groups that meet once a month, along with lots of seminars with information about post-WLS issues (how to get enough Protein, making lifestyle changes, etc.). A newsletter delivers the topics, dates and locations--does your hospital have any resources you can tap into?

If not, don't despair. I've only been on the VST forums for a week, I'm pre-op, and I can already sense how supportive this community is. You've done the very hardest thing already--owning up to your feelings and actions from the past. That should help you feel strong enough to conquer whatever's in your way.

You're not a passive spectator to life any more; you've been given exactly the right equipment to jump in and grab your happiness back. You may have to wrestle for it, but you'll win, I know you will!