I thought it might be a good idea to have a thread where we could discuss the different challenges/issues we face as being single and banded.

I'll start with introducing myself. My name is Chris, I am 32 and live in a suburb of Boston. About a year ago I got out of a 5 year relationship and have just casually dated (online dating) since then. I have decided to take a break from dating for a bit, so I can focus on myself and adjust to living life as a bandster. (I was just banded on 10/2). One of my biggest concerns when I start dating again is if/when to tell that I am banded. It's not that I don't want to tell people, it's just that my idea of great dinner conversation does not include discussing my weight. Overall I would say that I have a great life. I have a good job, a very supportive family, and lots of friends. I am happy to be taking control over my weight and issues with food, and am excited at the prospect of my future as a not-so-fat woman.

I look forward to meeting more single bandsters and hope this thread takes off!

Chris :cocktail:

Sometimes I can eat lasagna..well not a whole piece but some. Depends on the day.

Anyways still single. I've had some good hits though recently on Plenty of fish so I'm optomistic. Ohhh and this guy at work fixed my puter and I have a huge crush on him..lol. I hope he doesn't have a g/f. I was looking around his townhouse when he was fixing my puter and I didn't see any G/f signs..LOL. I don't know if I'm up to his standards yet if you know what I mean. God I still think I'm 300 pounds I swear. But he knew me at 300 pounds so I think thats what I'm worried about. Anyways I'll letcha all know..LOL

Manatee you look hot hon :mad:

Chrispy, things are moving right along with me, I don't seem to find as much time to post.

Trying to keep up my same level of exercise and save time for my new friend!

Manatee, dude start accepting the new you and others will follow you! I sense that you are starting to realize the changes you have made, yet have some self doubt.

Denise, I met my new friend on myspace. We started out just messaging back and forth then things moved on from there. I did not even have dating listed as something I was interested in, just a thought.

Di, you better watch those puter fixer guys! LOL

JC I'm so happy for you!!

And yes Manatee, I can still eat lasagna. At a 2.5 cc fill I can still eat lasagna. Sometimes it's a curse. Watch you've cursed me and tomorrow night I'll be PB'ing with my date who has no idea I have the band. lol.

JC I'm so happy for you!!

And yes Manatee, I can still eat lasagna. At a 2.5 cc fill I can still eat lasagna. Sometimes it's a curse. Watch you've cursed me and tomorrow night I'll be PB'ing with my date who has no idea I have the band. lol.

Haha you think that's bad. I have 3.75cc in a 4cc band and can eat bread :faint:

Where do you meet guys???? I have no clue!!!

I have been trying to get some new pictures taken. Even though I have lost 50 lbs. I still look really fat in pictures. I am going to have to lose a bunch more before I can get a decent picture. And it's not just my imagination. The people (friend and daughter) both agreed with me that I need to keep losing. It's depressing. I need to find a decent pose too.

Hi Denise- don't be upset..the fact you are having trouble seeing the results probably just means that you are losing weight evenly across your body.. try taking your measurements as well as photos !

Sigh..computer fix it guy has not returned my calls. I knew it was too good..lol. Oh hell..

Looks like another no date weekend ahead. :eek:

Single bandster livin single. it is much easier for me 6 month down the road than at first. you gotta adjust to your living situation. We all have taken one of the steps to our happiness, by taking care of our health and body. I think the"right" person will love us withor without weight. we have to do this for ourselves, and our health. Happiness comes from within, it is hard to be with anyone, and unhappy with self. we are becoming new, with new attitudes, weight loss and bodies.

<< 2 Corinthians 5:17 >>

New American Standard Bible (©1995)

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.

Single bandster livin single. it is much easier for me 6 month down the road than at first. you gotta adjust to your living situation. We all have taken one of the steps to our happiness, by taking care of our health and body. I think the"right" person will love us withor without weight. we have to do this for ourselves, and our health. Happiness comes from within, it is hard to be with anyone, and unhappy with self. we are becoming new, with new attitudes, weight loss and bodies.

<< 2 Corinthians 5:17 >>

New American Standard Bible (©1995)

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.

I like your outlook. For so long I was unhappy with my body and myself that I couldn't last in a relationship because I was constantly thinking "What does he think of me"? I have so much more confidence now more than ever and still have 65 more lbs to lose.

Ok guys, update on my date last night. It was great, and not just because the Sox crushed the Rockies. So I show up at his place with my lasagna, and he has jazz music playing, the wine poured, and a nice table set. I was really impressed. Then, as I was admiring the salad he made I noticed a small little bowl of olives. The significance of this? On our date last Saturday the restaurant gave us a small dish of olives and I mentioned how much I love olives, and he said that he thought olives were ok, but didn't search them out or anything. So the fact that he had olives meant 1) he listened and 2) he was thoughtful enough to do something special for me. I asked him, did you get me olives? And he just smiled. HUGE brownie points right there. Who would have thought something so simple would make such a difference, huh? But anyway, after dinner we watched the game and just talked and laughed, and I left a little after 11. No kiss goodnight, again. But man I have to say did I have butterflies as I was driving home. I really have fun with him and think he may have potential. I'm trying not to get ahead of myself and am just taking things as they come, and I am so enjoying this part of dating - this is the best part! So this morning I had an email where he thanked me for the lasagna and said that he was really enjoying the time we were spending together and that if I was still free on Saturday, he'd love to see me. So we have a date set for Sat afternoon/evening and I can promise you all, I'm getting my kiss one way or another.

You go girl Chrispy!!!! I am so happy that you are having fun! I can't wait to meet someone someday. I know it will happen just don't know when.

By the way everyone I finally moved out of my house into my own Apartment with my daughter this week. It was really really hard though because my old roomate was the guy I had dated and then things ended about 1 year ago but we continued to live together. I fell in love with him and when I spent my first night in my own place I cried because I missed him so much. I mean we shared a room for the last 2 1/2 years for goodness sake!!! I hoping that the feeling gets easier as time goes on. I did however make it a point to tell him straight forward last night that I do Love him and that I know neither of us meant for that to happen when we first were dating; it just did. I just wanted him to know that no matter what we will always be BEST friends! We are so close with eachother but he doesn't love me that way Oh well finally a chance to TRY and move on...I just hope I can do it?

I just found out that my mom can't take me to my surgery now.

I don't know what to do? It is 2 hours away and she was suppossed to be taking me and staying with me until I come home. I have to go down there the day before surgery so I can't take myself. This is so stressful...I swear when it rains it POURS!!!!!!

Oh April I'm so sorry to hear that your mom can't take you. It's stressful, but I'm sure you'll be able to figure something out. You have to! lol

Ok, so last night I finally got my kiss! OMG, very nice! We got together around 4 at his place, watched some tv, went to dinner, then came back and watched the Sox beat the Rockies (again). We cuddled on the couch till about 2am. It was a really nice date, and it was hard to leave let me tell you! I think I need to come clean about the band soon though. He comments sometimes that I never eat bread and that I barely touched my dinner. My friends and I laugh because we know he's probably thinking, 'here's this big girl who's afraid to eat in front of me'. lol. It's just kind of awkward to bring up out of the blue and even though I know he's not worth it if he has an issue with it, there's always that little fear of rejection. But hey, it's gotta be done.

Oh April I'm so sorry to hear that your mom can't take you. It's stressful, but I'm sure you'll be able to figure something out. You have to! lol

Ok, so last night I finally got my kiss! OMG, very nice! We got together around 4 at his place, watched some tv, went to dinner, then came back and watched the Sox beat the Rockies (again). We cuddled on the couch till about 2am. It was a really nice date, and it was hard to leave let me tell you! I think I need to come clean about the band soon though. He comments sometimes that I never eat bread and that I barely touched my dinner. My friends and I laugh because we know he's probably thinking, 'here's this big girl who's afraid to eat in front of me'. lol. It's just kind of awkward to bring up out of the blue and even though I know he's not worth it if he has an issue with it, there's always that little fear of rejection. But hey, it's gotta be done.

Glad to hear everything went good. I wanna find someone so badly. I know that it's probably not the best time. I really need this time for me. It just gets lonely.

I'm new to this thread but here goes...

I'll be banded on Nov 2, getting really excited =) I'm 21, highest weight ever was when i was 18 and 272lbs. I lost 80lbs and during that time met someone and got engaged a year later. Anyways, I broke that off about a year ago and managed to gain back almost all of the weight I lost while I was living with him. Go me! I notice a huge difference in how much I get hit on now as opposed to when I had lost that weight. I was still heavy, but I carried my weight well. It gives me motivation but is also quite sad when I think back to 2 years ago and how amazing I felt and how much attention I recieved from men. It's strange, but it seems now men only want me for sex? lol Makes no sense. Whereas when I had lost the weight I met better quality guys (the sleezy kind mixed in of course). Anyways, as of right now I have given up on men and am concentrating on loving myself and making myself happy. If Mr. Right comes along, great, but Im not worrying about that right now.