I thought it might be a good idea to have a thread where we could discuss the different challenges/issues we face as being single and banded.

I'll start with introducing myself. My name is Chris, I am 32 and live in a suburb of Boston. About a year ago I got out of a 5 year relationship and have just casually dated (online dating) since then. I have decided to take a break from dating for a bit, so I can focus on myself and adjust to living life as a bandster. (I was just banded on 10/2). One of my biggest concerns when I start dating again is if/when to tell that I am banded. It's not that I don't want to tell people, it's just that my idea of great dinner conversation does not include discussing my weight. Overall I would say that I have a great life. I have a good job, a very supportive family, and lots of friends. I am happy to be taking control over my weight and issues with food, and am excited at the prospect of my future as a not-so-fat woman.

I look forward to meeting more single bandsters and hope this thread takes off!

Chris :cocktail:

Chrispy I am so happy for you. You can just keep telling him that you watch your weight carefully and bread is fattening, until you're ready to tell him about the band.

Missy, I hear ya about it gets lonely.

April, I hope you have found someone that can be there with you for your surgery and bring you home.

I was really happy because E Harmony sent me someone I was really interested in. We sent our questions back and forth a few times, then yesterday I get a message that he closed contact.

He used the reason that he's just too busy in his life right now, but I find that hard to believe.

I so want to lose the rest of my weight. My birthday was last thurs. I had some fill taken out a couple of weeks ago because I was so limited as to what I could eat. Now I am back to being able to eat whatever I want. I have gone out to dinner so much between my kids and my friends wanting to take me to birthday dinner, that I have gained 4 lbs.

It's such a fine line between being too tight, and so loose that I can eat anything, bread included.

I guess there's no better time to join this thread...I've been single for over a year and have recently gotten back into the dating scene. I've been on a few dates the past month...but both have been with my ex. lol He moved when we were dating last time, and I refused to do the long distance thing. He's back in town...and we've been talking/hanging out since! It's fun...who knows where it's gonna go tho. My options are still open for others...lol

Lizzie, that's a great attitude to have! That's how I was too, I just focused on bettering myself and filling my life with things that make me happy. I have a good life, with or without a guy, and that's what I am most proud of.

Welcome Kimmie - glad you piped in. Welcome!

Denise, it is tough finding the right fill level. Sometimes I wish I had more and then other times I think I couldn't handle any more than what I have. I'm a the point though where I know that in order for me to lose what I have left to lose, I need to watch what I eat and exercise. It stinks, but it's just he way it is for me I suppose.

So I have another date for Wednesday night. We're going to pass out Halloween candy and watch a scary movie. Should be fun!

Thanks Chrispygal. I find that I meet the best men when I'm not looking anyway. Most people seem to feel that way. Good luck on your next date =)

GUYSSSS!!

I had a great date saturday night!! Although I'm wondering if he's just really wants sex and thats all..but he's gonna have to wait for a long time..lol. Anyways met for pizza which I could barely eat any of. Of course it got stuck. Then we made out in the parking lot like teenagers..LOL. The whole time band was driving me nuts..loll.. Anyways..the man is a cutie and can kiss goooddddd! He wanted to come over to my place on Sunday but I said no..not ready to get my kid involved with him yet. He seemed very understanding. Anyways..what a great weekend. I looked fabulous at the pizza place and I was actually having looks!..boy..never had that before. :boink:

Way to go Dibaby! You to Chrispy. I had such high hopes with the guy I was communicating with on E harmony. I was very disappointed that he closed the communication.We seemed like we would have been a very good fit. It's very disappointing. I want to lose 15 more lbs and then I am sure I will have more confidence.

I need to stay on track and get that last 15 off as soon as possible. I have been at 160 since the beginning of Sept. I think I need a fill, but I think I can do it with willpower.

Congrats to both of you, and to JC too.

(of course, if too many people do well this thread will die :boink:)

I checked out that plenty-of-fish site, the UI is way to weird for me.

Congrats to both of you, and to JC too.

(of course, if too many people do well this thread will die :boink:)

I checked out that plenty-of-fish site, the UI is way to weird for me.

What do you mean UI?

What do you mean UI?

Sorry, I'm a geek by trade. UI == User Interface. In other words, I don't like how the site is laid out and how it seems to function. Just my opinion, of course.

Well I just found some things out about that gamer guy I was interested in..THANK GOD I didn't meet him is all I can say. He's an idiot though for giving me his SS number and address...hmm..should I sign him up for a gay dating site?..LOL..yes i have an evil side..lol

Manatee, I think plenty of fish is very user friendly. I really like to read the forums. There are some great conversations that go on there.

Ok, online dating guru type folks. Forgive me for being clueless, but I haven't dated in a decade.

I got a wink or whatthehellever it is from someone. I can tell by the profile that we'll never click (I don't want to raise kids, period), but I don't want to be rude. Is it better to tell her up front that it's a deal killer? I just don't know the etiquette. I can't just ignore it, because the site has some sort of built in tracker that tells the other folk that you read the email.

(I hate all this, BTW)

Thanks

I'd say just be honest. She'll appreciate that and it would be more hurtful if you didn't reply or didn't tell her upfront that you're not interested. She'll wink at other people and move on. I wouldn't worry about it too much.

Gracias. That's precisely what I did, just as if this were real life. I appreciate the advice.

Manatee, which site is this (if you don't mind me asking) I would put right in the profile, that you don't want children. This is something major that women are going to want to know. Most sites ask that question and you fill in the blanks about all the questions.