I thought it might be a good idea to have a thread where we could discuss the different challenges/issues we face as being single and banded.

I'll start with introducing myself. My name is Chris, I am 32 and live in a suburb of Boston. About a year ago I got out of a 5 year relationship and have just casually dated (online dating) since then. I have decided to take a break from dating for a bit, so I can focus on myself and adjust to living life as a bandster. (I was just banded on 10/2). One of my biggest concerns when I start dating again is if/when to tell that I am banded. It's not that I don't want to tell people, it's just that my idea of great dinner conversation does not include discussing my weight. Overall I would say that I have a great life. I have a good job, a very supportive family, and lots of friends. I am happy to be taking control over my weight and issues with food, and am excited at the prospect of my future as a not-so-fat woman.

I look forward to meeting more single bandsters and hope this thread takes off!

Chris :cocktail:

Hey Chrispy, I have been uh,,, a bit distracted. I have had a few different dates. I had a heck of a vacation, from bicycle riding in Ft.Wayne Indiana to visiting family in Beaufort South Carolina. Recently I have kayaked Caladesi Island, started going to a rock climbing gym (very darn cool!) and I am sitting on the couch right now trying to recover from smoking out 30 miles on the Van Fleet trail.

Oh, I was invited to spend a month in Hawaii with a wild little honey that I know. It is hard for me to believe that I will be 41 on Monday! I think I have things pretty much going my way for the first time in a long long time.

JC

Hi I am Bob in Toronto. Welcome to the club. One of the benifits of the band is the self confindence that comes with weight loss and knowing it will stay off for forever. Self confindence is sexy and others can see and feel it.

So hopefully things will improve.

Good luck,

Bob

Welcome to our new bandsters!

I went to dinner tonight with some friends. They picked a Thai restaurant. I haven't told every single person I know about my band. I ended up knowing there was not one single thing on that menu that I could get down. It was embarrassing. I didn't throw up but I came close. Had to excuse myself and spend some time in the bathroom sliming. I am not going to a Thai restaurant again!

Way to go JC!

Denise--how many fills did it take you to get good restriction?

Manatee--Way to go you!

els720-Where in Houston are you? There is a thread on here for peeps in Houston...I don't remember what it is called but have seen it many a time!

I thought it might be a good idea to have a thread where we could discuss the different challenges/issues we face as being single and banded.

I'll start with introducing myself. My name is Chris, I am 32 and live in a suburb of Boston. About a year ago I got out of a 5 year relationship and have just casually dated (online dating) since then. I have decided to take a break from dating for a bit, so I can focus on myself and adjust to living life as a bandster. (I was just banded on 10/2). One of my biggest concerns when I start dating again is if/when to tell that I am banded. It's not that I don't want to tell people, it's just that my idea of great dinner conversation does not include discussing my weight. Overall I would say that I have a great life. I have a good job, a very supportive family, and lots of friends. I am happy to be taking control over my weight and issues with food, and am excited at the prospect of my future as a not-so-fat woman.

I look forward to meeting more single bandsters and hope this thread takes off!

Chris :cocktail:

Hi Chris..I'm not single or banded as yet but my opinion is that telling people about my banding is on a 'need-to-know' basis. If you are comfortable with telling people about your band and feel it would make a good conversation piece..by all means do so. However, if you're concerned about timing or the reaction you would get I think you should wait until you are in a secure relationship with someone. I don't think it is something that should affect your relationship with someone (unless they were shallow, in which case good riddance!), however I would suggest you be tactful in how you bring it up..

It took me 4 fills to where I had to really be careful and watch what I eat. I am actually considering having the tiniest bit taken out.

I am getting to the point that it's just too hard to eat. I thought it might loosen by now, but it hasn't. I really don't want to have any taken out because I love not being hungry. I might have to though.

Wow,that would be a hard decision! I can't wait to not feel hungry!! How much do you think? Have you had to have an unfill before?

I was overfilled at the beginning of Sept. He took some out then.

I may have to have more out. I am going to go on liquids for a couple days and see if that helps. I just went to lunch and ordered soup and started sliming on soup so that is not a good thing.

JC that is such GREAT news! I'm so happy for you! Oh, and go for the hawaii thing! Opportunities like that don't happen all the time.

Denise, I love thai food! Many of their dishes are basically meat and veggies in a light sauce and if you have trouble with that, then I might guess you may need a little more fill taken out like you said. But if you're not familiar with the menu and ordered pad thai, I can see why you might have a problem.

Jessica thanks for the email. :eek: It's funny to look back now at that since it's been about a year since I was banded and I have dated many a guy since then. lol. I've found what works for me - if things start to get a little serious with a guy I tell him, otherwise I keep it to myself. And I agree, if a guy has an issue with it, he's not worth my time.

Welcome Ozzy and Els720! Glad you found us!

Chrispy,

Can you eat vegetables that aren't cooked very well? One of the problems was that I had no idea what I was ordering, and the waitress couldn't speak English very well. I do have problems with vegetables now, unless they are cooked until they are done.

I have read on the thread "what foods give you trouble" that a lot of people have trouble with veggies that aren't cooked well.

I hate to sound stupid but what's "sliming"? I'm having my surgery in two days and reading that someone who's been banded for almost a year still can't go out to eat is starting to scare me. I was told by others that they can eat most things, just smaller amounts.

Maybe I've made the wrong decision... :omg:

Sliming is when your mouth fills up with Water or spit or whatever you want to call it when food gets stuck and can't pass through your band.

It's only recently that I have been having trouble. Before my 4th fill, I could eat whatever I wanted in smaller portions. The problem was that I stopped losing, so I got another fill. The more fill you have and the more restriction you get, there will be foods that give you trouble.

Do a thread search on problem foods. If you are still in the decision making process, there are a lot of places on this board where you can read all about the band to educate yourself and find out what you will be dealing with once you get restriction.

There are a lot of people who are happy with a lose band so they can eat more. I was really tired of not losing after I paid 10,000.00 out of pocket to lose weight.

Topdownbug, don't be too nervous. Finding your right fill level is important, but it's a very personal thing. I'm at a fill level now where I can eat most foods without a problem just in smaller amounts. But more importantly, my band is filled to a level where I'm not hungry all the time. My losing has slowed waaaaay down - maybe a pound or two a month - and while getting another fill to have me eat less is tempting, I don't want to end up overfilled. I have seen a close friend deal with those issues and it's not fun. So instead of getting another fill, I have joined a gym and am trying to watch what I eat. It's not easy, but neither is not being able to eat out or getting sick all the time. But the band is SO worth it. It's a change for sure, but a good one.

Sorry you had so much trouble Denise!! Next time try ordering an app like chicken satay, which is just grilled chicken on a stick. Yummy! It has taken me some time to get over feeling like I have to order a "meal" to fit in. Now I'll just order an app and I don't care what people think. If someone asks, I'll just mention that I'm trying to lose weight so I'm ordering a smaller portion.

Hi guys!

I'm a recently single bandster, and was hoping there'd be some sort of thread about being single with the band! I kind of just started my band journey, I've been banded for about a month now...but I'm already feeling great about the new me, so great that I joined eHarmony last week (probably a bit pre-maturely lol) I've already started talking to a guy and we have totally hit it off, but my problem is, I don't know if he knows that I am overweight. I mean, I put up a variety of pictures that I don't believe misrepresent my size at all...but from some of the things he's said, it just doesn't seem like he *knows*.

He's already told me that he wants to meet me and go on a date, but I'm scared of his reaction (20 something guys, from my experience at least, don't seem to be the most forgiving and can sometimes be downright cruel) So I guess my question is...should I trust that he has seen my pictures and can tell that I am overweight, should I somehow bring it up to him before we decide to meet, or should I just go on the date without saying anything and show him just how attractive and fun I really am regardless of my size? (if only it were that easy!) Thanks in advance!

Hi Arria, I am Bob in Toronto

Go ahead and tell him. If it scares him off, then he is not right for you. He would by his actions tell you if he is a good guy or not. Anyone who would not date someone due to weight is the same person who will dump you for someone else who comes along.

You sound like a person of quality, you should have someone nice. We all should.

Good luck,

Bob