I thought it might be a good idea to have a thread where we could discuss the different challenges/issues we face as being single and banded.

I'll start with introducing myself. My name is Chris, I am 32 and live in a suburb of Boston. About a year ago I got out of a 5 year relationship and have just casually dated (online dating) since then. I have decided to take a break from dating for a bit, so I can focus on myself and adjust to living life as a bandster. (I was just banded on 10/2). One of my biggest concerns when I start dating again is if/when to tell that I am banded. It's not that I don't want to tell people, it's just that my idea of great dinner conversation does not include discussing my weight. Overall I would say that I have a great life. I have a good job, a very supportive family, and lots of friends. I am happy to be taking control over my weight and issues with food, and am excited at the prospect of my future as a not-so-fat woman.

I look forward to meeting more single bandsters and hope this thread takes off!

Chris :cocktail:

I'm 5'10"...199 is just my first goal really...but a huge one for me

I have to do smaller goals to make it to a big one I guess

But really 180 I'll look fabulous and a size 10/12.

You're so lucky to be tall. I always wish I was taller.

Hi,

My name is Missy. I am 45 years old and have been slightly overweight all my life. I have been divorced for nearly 25 years.

I didn't get significantly overweight till I hit my mid 30's. For the last 10 years I gained steadily til I reached a top wt of 266.

And I am only 5'2" so I was ROTUND. Well, I still am, but getting better. 30 lbs has made a difference.

I don't date, not because I don't want to, but because I don't get asked. I haven't been on a date in 3 1/2 years.

I'm kinda stuck in a funny mindset....do I want someone who would only ask out a skinny me?

I am not hesitant about sharing that I've been banded. It doesn't bother me to talk about it at all. If it bothers them, thats they're problem.

Banded on 5/22/06

start wt 266

current wt 229.

Struggling but hopeful.

As for your mindset: I wonder, do you want a fattie to love? Did you even love the fattie you? I Don't want a fattie! I'm looking good and I expect my man to look good too!

Semantics.

Fine...if the timing isn't right then don't tell them until it is.

Better?

Why worry about telling your new love interest that you are banded?

I can't be the only one who realizes that when we go on that first date to a restaurant and I order a cracker (after he orders a side of beef), that my new flame just might notice there is something up?

When I went on the one date I did have since I have been banded, I told him I had a late lunch and ordered a bowl of soup. I didn't want to have any problems and have to run to the bathroom, so I played it safe.

If I ever met anyone that I thought I would be spending a lot of time with, I would tell him.

You're so lucky to be tall. I always wish I was taller.

I like being tall..but it's really hard to find a tall guy it seems. I would say 75% of the interest I get online are shorter than me and I'm just not comfortable with that.

It's great profile. But from what I have read in profile reviews, it needs to be shorter. Put some of your interests that you have in the main body up in the interests section. Otherwise, I think it's great and you are already on a bunch of people's favorites list.

Participate in the forums when you have time. A lot of the people that I read about, get to know each other in the forums and then have an interest to meet.

I would also say average in the weight! You don't look a few extra lbs at all anymore!

You could add must not be married to contact you. I forget where the settings are for that. I have not must be married or looking for an intimate

encounter.

I wish you and some of the others would look at my profile and give me some feedback too. My name is Oregondaisy, if you put the looking for a woman

55 in the zip code 97420 in, you should be able to find it. I don't know how to make links.

Yeah it looks good I think manatee..but yeah maybe shorten it up a bit. I would also change your body type to average. Your gonna confuse people. You sound very honest and sincere..thats a HUGE plus. Go see mine..i'm Dibaby37

Dibaby will you take a look at mine?

Dibaby I couldn't find your profile on POF. I did a username search, and nothing came up.

Denise, yours looks fine, but I would put in more photos if I were you, and maybe something about who you're looking for

Di, again, there's nothing there about who you're looking for. Good photos. On the profile review I was told to remove my paragraph about losing weight so I did -- maybe that works better on a female's profile?

I know my profile is long, but it started short and I kept expanding it as I had more and more disappointing conversations. I figure that if someone reads that and still contacts me, she has a good feel for who I am.

As far as body type, that's just what I feel. Doing better, yeah, but still got a big spare tire and a convex shape. You all know how the right clothes and angles can hide things in a photo! When I hit my goal, I'll change it to average. If I can ever see my abs, I'll change it to athletic

I've been trying to get some more pictures on there. I haven't found one that I liked well enough to put on there. In the full body shots, I still look so fat.

Manatee I love your new pic! I think it gives a much better idea of what you look like. I think your profile was great. Have you had much luck on POF? I was on for a little bit and it was quite a ride, let me tell you. There were a lot of "interesting" people on there.

Ok, so i know im losing weight and becoming happy with the wy i look and the way i feel but i still have the whole shy issue?!?!?!

So im 22 almost 23 and have never really had a boyfriend... Some of the reasons are that: i am extremely shy, have always been overweight, and went to an all girls high school....

I definately know if i just wasn't so shy i'd be better off...

Any advice on how i can get over this????

(And i kind of feel like im just about the oldest person who hasnt had a boyfriend)