I thought it might be a good idea to have a thread where we could discuss the different challenges/issues we face as being single and banded.

I'll start with introducing myself. My name is Chris, I am 32 and live in a suburb of Boston. About a year ago I got out of a 5 year relationship and have just casually dated (online dating) since then. I have decided to take a break from dating for a bit, so I can focus on myself and adjust to living life as a bandster. (I was just banded on 10/2). One of my biggest concerns when I start dating again is if/when to tell that I am banded. It's not that I don't want to tell people, it's just that my idea of great dinner conversation does not include discussing my weight. Overall I would say that I have a great life. I have a good job, a very supportive family, and lots of friends. I am happy to be taking control over my weight and issues with food, and am excited at the prospect of my future as a not-so-fat woman.

I look forward to meeting more single bandsters and hope this thread takes off!

Chris :cocktail:

You have to order something that you know has worked before and not given you trouble. When I am afraid to eat in front of someone, I order soup and say I had a late lunch, or not very hungry.

Manatee, Just call her back and tell her you enjoyed talking

to her so much that you would like to get together and do something.

lol! I just want to say that I just realized today how happy I am single lol! I am embracing it now, especially after that last relationship I had. You guys are going to be hearing a lot more from me lol

lol! I just want to say that I just realized today how happy I am single lol! I am embracing it now, especially after that last relationship I had. You guys are going to be hearing a lot more from me lol

Ya know, I actually have to agree with you on this! Never ever ever in my life did I think there would be a point in time when I didn't want to be in a relationship...I always thought I needed a man to love me to be happy. (Yes, I know, I'm young and naive ) But for the first time, even though I have a couple guys that I am semi-interested in, I'm so happy being single that I don't think I'm going to even date them! I'm gonna cancel my eharmony account, and just be single and happy and be selfish and focus on me for awhile...I can worry about settling down later.

Ya know, I actually have to agree with you on this! Never ever ever in my life did I think there would be a point in time when I didn't want to be in a relationship...I always thought I needed a man to love me to be happy. (Yes, I know, I'm young and naive ) But for the first time, even though I have a couple guys that I am semi-interested in, I'm so happy being single that I don't think I'm going to even date them! I'm gonna cancel my eharmony account, and just be single and happy and be selfish and focus on me for awhile...I can worry about settling down later.

Ive never been big on dating...I dated one guy for 3 years through H.S. My high school sweet heart, and I loved him more than Ive ever loved someone besides family. I broke my own heart with him, but it was for the better, we are GREAT friends now and hang out as often as possible. Im glad we are friends, we truly love one another, just in a different way now. Otherwise we couldnt be the friends that we are. My last relationship however, UGH! There was no hope for it, but I really wasnt ready for a relationship yet. I think that I forced myself to enter into a serious relationship before I wanted one. I liked dating around. Going out on dates with different guys, it was fun, I liked to company and the flattery, but thats about it. I wasnt looking for anything serious. I am just not a typical girl lol! Im more guy than girl on the inside. I like to play the game (although I don't like to hurt people, and usually avoid it), I like my freedom to do whatever whenever, I like to go out with my friends whenever I want, and I LOVE to flirt. I dont want to close myself off right now to all the options out there. Im 20, Ive got time to waste on myself. I mean, for some reason my last boyfriend/ex-fiance thought that it was inappropriate that I went to bars and clubs without him...lol!

I think we've lost JC for good. Hurrah for him!

So, it seems that I have a date tomorrow evening with the friend-of-a-friend.

Don't say that! JC will check in with us. He better! I will miss him.

We could put a shout out on one of the other sections.

Yoo Whoo, JC are you still alive out there somewhere?

Just popping in to say hi.

Manatee congrats on your date!!! I hope it goes well, and either way it's great that you're taking the plunge.

Things are going amazingly well for me and my guy. I am completely smitten, and having soooooo much fun dating him. It's about time!

I am really happy for you Chrispy! You're right. It's about time. I hope he turns about to me the man you have been waiting to find all of your life.

Everything sounds great with everyone!! I am down about 20 and think I will start dating again in 30 more pounds. However, I have a big question for you guys, I am putting together a little dinner for single banders in my area, what do you think biggest topics are? I came up with to date yet or not ?and do I tell or not? You that are actively dating, what are other issues you have faced?

Hi all... I am back! Too much to go back and read right now on how everyone is doing and what's been going on. So I just wanted to log on and let everyone know that I am finally doing much better, I was banded on November 7th, last week, I finally feel good but the incisions still hurt too bad to sit in a regular chair right now for more than 10 minutes or so. That's why I decided to take another week off work. I go back on Wednesday next week, by they I should be back on here chatting it up wih everyone and back in the grove of things.

Take care everyone!!

Yesterday went fine from my perspective, but she's probably telling her friends I'm some sort of loser I didn't have the nerve to try for a hug or kiss or anything so it just kinda ended with "had a nice night see ya later" in a piano bar parking lot. Bleah.

I sucked at dating all those years ago, and haven't kissed anyone in damn near a decade (and yes, for those paying attention, my divorce was final in April. It was a cold, long time. Glad my real name isn't on here.) Ladies, how do I know when it's ok?

On the positive side, she asked me to her corporate Xmas party. I don't know if that means she likes me, or if she's just desperate In the meantime, it's Friday night and I'm sitting at home watching a crap movie, buzzed on cheap wine and chowing on a bag of Salsa Verde Doritos. I'll probably be up 2 lbs tomorrow.....

As a complete aside -- why don't wine bottles have nutritional value labels on them? I want to know precisely how many empty calories I chose to have instead of supper :)

(Ha! Can't walk, but can still type!)

Manateee, I think you should just tell her the truth. Tell her you're shy, and that you haven't been divorced all that long. Tell her you wanted some space after the divorce to get it together before you started dating again. I think she will think you are sweet for not trying to make moves on her.

April, glad you're back and feeling a little better.

Ashley, I don't have anyone to date The couple of dates I did go on, I didn't tell. Maybe you could talk about ways to avoid telling until you're ready to tell. I just said I wasn't very hungry cause I had a late lunch. I ordered soup because I was nervous and I sure didn't want to throw up on my date.

Manatee-For her to ask you to her xmas party, she has to like you. A) you are going to be around people she works with and so she's not going to pick up just any bum off the street girls can respect a guy that doesn't mug down or anything on the first dates,it shows you are decent!

Denise-Thanks for you advice. I willl probably go with that one, hell, I might just bring up both and talk about the two together! ugh, good thing there is a month until this meeting.

My initial goal is to get girls and guys but for now I think it is all chicks.