Finally told my Mom, "Hey, I am leaving next weekend to have surgery in Tijuana."

Oh my - did the fur fly.

Some exerpts of the conversation: "You know you will have to have 'will power' after surgery to make the right food choices, why don't you just do that now? Going to Mexico is risky.....how exactly did you verify your surgeons credentials....what did she do wrong as a mother that I learned to be fat.......this is not a quick fix...........what does you husband think........your Dad turned grey when I told him.......I'm very worried and love you.....who is going with you.....who all knows about this.....the surgeons there just want your money like the insurance companies do here, so don't think they are concerned about your health either.....etc."

Wow. What a pep talk. She's my Mom and I love her, but - WOW.

My dad really chewed me out when he found out my plans. It is a subject we've agreed not to talk about. It was "Mexico" that caused him to freak. In hindsight I wish I would have not told anyone but my hubby until afterwards.

Hindsight is always 20/20.

Amanda Rae

Sorry to hear about her reaction. Sometimes people show they love you in hurtful ways. Odds, are though, she loves you a lot and when you are on your way to a healthier path after surgery, she will see that and turn around. My husband was similarly unsupportive but now, 6 months out he sees how happy I am with the help I get from the sleeve. It's helped me to make real changes in my health. Unfortunately, she is not going to a great support person until and unless she does some research and you know what they say about horses and water. Just know you have great spurt on this forum! Good luck in your journey.

I have been trying to decide whether to tell my parents are not. After reading everybody's comments I think I better wait until I get home to tell them. I know I'm having the surgery just not in Mexico. I'm just so scared I will slip up and talk about the plane flight or Mexico or something. I just don't know what to do. I'm more stressed about telling my parents then the whole surgery, flight, Mexico,etc. Nothing is going to stop me from going. I just really don't want to stress them out and make them worry.

I'm not telling either frankly I'm embarrassed and know that they will all gossip and talk about me. Since they live in another state they will never know.

I think you all are blessed no matter what they say. People like me who have lost their Moms miss the chewing out that was only intended to protect you. My blessings to you all. To me, the world has never been the same since my mom passed.

Neither my Mom or mother in law know because of their dementia they wouldn't understand it. My 11 year old grandson told his Mom, "Wow! Grandma is skinny" when I posted this picture. My friends are supportive but I'm not sure about some siblings but I did it for myself and my own health.

She's my Mom and I love her, but - WOW.

She is your mother, but as I've learned with my mom, she has her own life to worry over now You are the captain of your ship. I think you've made an amazing decision that will help you have a healthier life for your future.

Oh, I am sorry you are going through this. Remember her reaction is because she loves you, she is not as educated about the surgery or the MX practitioners.

I had a similar reaction from my dog club friends. In the end, they will support me. They just are afraid for me.

Mary

It's funny, because my mom had a similar reaction to my wedding announcement or my religious conversion. I don't think she understands me or my decisions usually - but in time she accepts them and learns to love me as an individual.

I know what you are going thru. I got all of that with my mother as well and I'm having the surgery here in the states (i'm scheduling the actual surgery date at my appointment this thursday). Sorry she isn't supportive. I'm lucky that my husband fully supports my decision and that is all that matters.

My mother was NOT happy. She was only "okay" about it when I said I was making my best friend go with me and to contact her from MX and let her know everything was fine. As well my surgeon was willing to call her and talk to her if it would help. I said, nah I don't want her to be rude to you! LOL.

Everything turned out JUST fine and now she's impressed with him. She almost stole Dr Alvarez' book off my bedside table. Thankfully she had bypass in 2001 so she was okay with the surgery part. It was the Mexico part and the part where I didn't have $30K to pay for it here in the US where she had no other arguments. I wasn't going to be fat for another year.

A lot of people react negatively because thy wish they were doing it too. Sometimes it's just moms job to worry about you.. Maybe she could go with you? That said.. Confrontation is a big reason I didn't tell anyone except my husband and kids. I don't want drama involved in my personal issues or decisions.

My best friend lost 50lbs on WW last year so I was told "I'm going the easy way out." I just told her that I would support her if she decided to marry a goldfish so I would appreciate to either have her support or not talk about this again. My stepmom told me that I need to just be sure to come out of surgery eating vegetables and lean protein and I won't have a problem. Another example of misinformed people forming an opinion. Sorry your mom did that to you, but I chalk it up to "at least she cares enough to say anything"....

I've got down to a healthy BMI 10 years ago with diet and exercise. I've obviously put most of that back on again.

Once I started losing weight with VSG my Dad said "Don't stuff it up again this time". I said "Don't for get to say 'I told you so' If I do".

Old people eh?

Somebody shoot me if I end up like that .......

My dad chewed me out the same way pre op. i went to my dads yesterday and told him, "look at my jeans! They're so big now, soon I'll need a whole new wardrobe and for some reason, heavy people don't donate clothes!" He smiled a smile that showed me he was truly happy that I was happy. He then told me, "hopefully this whole thing you went through will help you have a better life and be happy"

Parents. Gotta love em