Finally told my Mom, "Hey, I am leaving next weekend to have surgery in Tijuana."

Oh my - did the fur fly.

Some exerpts of the conversation: "You know you will have to have 'will power' after surgery to make the right food choices, why don't you just do that now? Going to Mexico is risky.....how exactly did you verify your surgeons credentials....what did she do wrong as a mother that I learned to be fat.......this is not a quick fix...........what does you husband think........your Dad turned grey when I told him.......I'm very worried and love you.....who is going with you.....who all knows about this.....the surgeons there just want your money like the insurance companies do here, so don't think they are concerned about your health either.....etc."

Wow. What a pep talk. She's my Mom and I love her, but - WOW.

I'm not telling either frankly I'm embarrassed and know that they will all gossip and talk about me. Since they live in another state they will never know.

You need to do what makes you feel safe. If you don't feel good about telling people.... don't But, have at least ONE support person. You need one person you can tell your fears and joys to. One person who will be there to help you through. Even if you pick someone you can just call and talk things through with. It will make all the difference.

Meh, thats fairly predictable.

To be the devils advocate and to be fair to anyone who doesnt know anything about surgery in Mexico it would be extremely worrying. All we ever here are things like those awful back alley Mexican botched plastic surgery jobs.

That being said, if they are willing you can provide them with some information to let them know that actually surgery in mexico can be extremely above board and safe.

So after my mom freaking out for a week, she was fine when I left for TJ on Sunday. Had surgery MOnday and was talking to her on the phone yesterday.

She told me how brave I am and how proud she is of me taking control of my weight problem, etc. GO FIGURE!!!!

I tell everybody. Most people are very supportive, some have said "are you sure you want to do this?", and the few that weren't supportive I've found just needed to be educated. They didn't know the difference between sleeve, band, bypass, or switch. All they knew was their friend's sister's husband's mother had that in the 80's and almost died. Oh geez! Really? I just educated them into this century of modern day medicine and they seemed to jump on board.

Also I would like to add this from a mother's point of view.........a child's world (even if you are grown you are still her child) is so large. They have so many things going on in their world. But to a parent, that child IS their whole world. Since you were conceived she has loved and protected you. It's just her instinct to think safety first.

make yourself happy :wub:

You are doing it for you

My sisters first reaction when I told her I wanted to go to Mexico for surgery was "they steal peoples organs and sell them on the black market", "they send you home without putting you back together all the way", "we will get killed by drug traffickers" I have been showing her all of my research on the OCC and other places and she has been able to read some of your testimonies about your experiences and is feeling much better about the trip. It really is education. We are afraid of the things we don't understand or know about. She still has a few concerns but is very supportive about me changing my life and becoming the person I want to be. I am very lucky, everyone in my family is very supportive. Thanks to my family for helping me every step of the way... and thanks to my on line family here who have always been willing to answer my questions and calm my fears about this journey. You have all been super wonderful, and I don't know what I would have done with out all of you for support.

Finally told my Mom, "Hey, I am leaving next weekend to have surgery in Tijuana." Oh my - did the fur fly. Some exerpts of the conversation: "You know you will have to have 'will power' after surgery to make the right food choices, why don't you just do that now? Going to Mexico is risky.....how exactly did you verify your surgeons credentials....what did she do wrong as a mother that I learned to be fat.......this is not a quick fix...........what does you husband think........your Dad turned grey when I told him.......I'm very worried and love you.....who is going with you.....who all knows about this.....the surgeons there just want your money like the insurance companies do here, so don't think they are concerned about your health either.....etc." Wow. What a pep talk. She's my Mom and I love her, but - WOW.

I can imagine if I told my mother what I was doing, this is about how her conversation towards me would go as well… I am still okay with not telling my family what I'm doing. I have a lot of friends who are supporting me both with my decision to have the surgery and with my decision to go to Mexico and I'm comfortable with their support.

COVATILA84 - what is so funny is that my Mother has contacted Dr. Ortiz to see if he would do surgery on her! Go figure...

I'm glad you have the support of close friends during this as it's a big deal. The mental aspect of the surgery is something I wasn't really in tune with. Thankfully, my husband has been very supportive and "gets it".

I can imagine if I told my mother what I was doing, this is about how her conversation towards me would go as well… I am still okay with not telling my family what I'm doing. I have a lot of friends who are supporting me both with my decision to have the surgery and with my decision to go to Mexico and I'm comfortable with their support.

COVATILA84 - what is so funny is that my Mother has contacted Dr. Ortiz to see if he would do surgery on her! Go figure... I'm glad you have the support of close friends during this as it's a big deal. The mental aspect of the surgery is something I wasn't really in tune with. Thankfully, my husband has been very supportive and "gets it".

Wow! That is funny! I definitely am thankful for my friends because they "get it" too and they know how hard I have honestly worked and tried to lose weight. Sometimes, because I still have like 3 months before my surg date, I get tempted to tell her... But I don't want to deal with that emotional roller coaster for the next 3 months! I know she would probably be supportive afterwards...but not after she tells her whole family first, and I just don't want them to know. I am getting so excited, I just want the date to be here!!! You and your journey have been instrumental in my deciding to go to Mexico and I truly thank you for sharing all of your experience!

Wow! That is funny! I definitely am thankful for my friends because they "get it" too and they know how hard I have honestly worked and tried to lose weight. Sometimes, because I still have like 3 months before my surg date, I get tempted to tell her... But I don't want to deal with that emotional roller coaster for the next 3 months! I know she would probably be supportive afterwards...but not after she tells her whole family first, and I just don't want them to know. I am getting so excited, I just want the date to be here!!! You and your journey have been instrumental in my deciding to go to Mexico and I truly thank you for sharing all of your experience!

WOW! Thank you! I am glad that I was able to help your journey. This surgery and weight loss is going to change your life! I am really excited for you....and am looking forward to hearing the story after you tell your mom! LOL! (You know there will be some crazy something....gotta love family!)

I'm planning a trip to TJ. I'm going with my bff who is also a RN. It will be a girls trip. Mom, daughter and husband will not know the plan. I don't want drama.

I decided to tell some colleagues and I have been supported by each one. (there are many I have said nothing to) If they tell someone it's okay, though my preference would be they not. I am meeting my sister in San Diego and she will be with me. I suspect I only selected people who would be supportive of my choice to have the sleeve and have the surgery in Mexico.

I'm planning a trip to TJ. I'm going with my bff who is also a RN. It will be a girls trip. Mom, daughter and husband will not know the plan. I don't want drama.

You aren't even telling your husband? Everyone has different relationships and of course yoi know yours best, but if my husband kept that from me I would be very upset..for many reasons. Just something to think about...but like I said we are all different. No one person and their philosophy on relationships is right. I'm just saying if I told my bff and hid it from my hubby..he would be extremely hurt and upset.