Finally told my Mom, "Hey, I am leaving next weekend to have surgery in Tijuana."

Oh my - did the fur fly.

Some exerpts of the conversation: "You know you will have to have 'will power' after surgery to make the right food choices, why don't you just do that now? Going to Mexico is risky.....how exactly did you verify your surgeons credentials....what did she do wrong as a mother that I learned to be fat.......this is not a quick fix...........what does you husband think........your Dad turned grey when I told him.......I'm very worried and love you.....who is going with you.....who all knows about this.....the surgeons there just want your money like the insurance companies do here, so don't think they are concerned about your health either.....etc."

Wow. What a pep talk. She's my Mom and I love her, but - WOW.

My mom was shocked and to her it came out of nowhere. She is a nurse, so her first question is always credentials. Mine was covered by insurance and she calmed down a bit when I told her I was at a bariatric center of excellence.

But everyone in my family has at some point struggled with weight, so after the initial shock wore off, she was curious about it, particularly for my older brother who is over 300 pounds and has diabetes. I've sent her a lot of information; the biggest problem is that he would need to change his lifestyle and based on his current choices unless he was ready to do this he would probably just "eat around the sleeve or band." I feel like a jerk for even saying that, but what I really mean is that I feel like this surgery has a much greater chance of being successful if *you* are the one who wants it. Not if your mom tells you to get it. LOL

The other piece of this is that I didn't tell her until I was approved, and once I was approved my surgery date was scheduled for the next week. So she had NO time to get used to the idea and then it was a done deal.

I don't know if others have this issue, but my mom is also the slightest bit competitive. I don't know that she would even recognize it, but for example when I got my master's degree at 38, she told me she had gotten hers at 36 or 37. (Really??)

She lost a whole lot of weight doing a liquid/protein diet, watching intake very carefully and taking appetite suppressants. This was a few years ago. Since then she's probably put back on about 20-30 pounds, but she is still much healthier than she was. So one of the things I said to her is, "I admire what you've done, but I don't want to be doing that in my 60s. I feel like if I can stop this in its tracks now I will be much happier overall." And she said that yes, she wished she had been able to accomplish it in her 40s or earlier.

Moms.

Glad your mom finally came around. Couple of comments on the posts: "gotta love her" - ah, no, I really don't have to. For the lady that still misses her mom, you're lucky. When my mom passes, my primary reaction will be relief. When I told my mom that I was going to have WLS sometime in 2014, she told me she was glad because she had talked to others (don't know who else, she didn't talk to my siblings) about having an intervention with me about my weight. Yep, that's my mama! Since I told her that I was going to go to MX to have it done because its the only way I'll ever be able to afford it, the subject has never been mentioned again. I won't be telling her before I leave. Glad for you that have supportive moms but some of us aren't that lucky. Take care, all. Thanks for letting me vent, too.

I have been trying to decide whether to tell my parents are not. After reading everybody's comments I think I better wait until I get home to tell them. I know I'm having the surgery just not in Mexico. I'm just so scared I will slip up and talk about the plane flight or Mexico or something. I just don't know what to do. I'm more stressed about telling my parents then the whole surgery, flight, Mexico,etc. Nothing is going to stop me from going. I just really don't want to stress them out and make them worry.

I saw my doc today and let her know what I was doing next week and where. She was nervous and said she would not go to Mexico for any surgery. But, she is supporting me and wants to see me when I return. People care and worry.

I'm planning a trip to TJ. I'm going with my bff who is also a RN. It will be a girls trip. Mom, daughter and husband will not know the plan. I don't want drama.

You aren't even telling your husband? Everyone has different relationships and of course yoi know yours best, but if my husband kept that from me I would be very upset..for many reasons. Just something to think about...but like I said we are all different. No one person and their philosophy on relationships is right. I'm just saying if I told my bff and hid it from my hubby..he would be extremely hurt and upset.

@ Sue Who is your surgeon?

Tell my husband? Just finished dv last month. This is me therapy.