Does everyone go through a regret stage after surgery...I haven't had surgery yet, but I am reading a lot about people wondering if they made the right decision AFTER they had surgery? I'm getting closer to my surgery date and am getting scared and don't want to regret it? Is this normal?

I haven't heard anyone regretting it. They may the first few weeks if they've had issues or when they're going through the different food stages, but once that's over it's all good. It's not easy, but it's worth it in the end. Just have to stay focused on the final outcome.

I don't have any regrets, so everyone doesn't go through the regret stage. There are some that do have regrets.

Generally People may ponder "What Have I Done" especially if there are any complications but when the weight starts coming off and you start healing that goes away too and you are glad you did it.

There are many people who go through a stage where they ask themselves, "WTF have I done?!?!" lol. The thing to keep in mind is that the VAST majority of people who go through this are not yet at a point where they can eat normally (our new normal) and this really needs to be taken into consideration when reading any post that may sound like a regret. The truth is that almost 100% of people have NO regrets once they are fully healed and eating normally for a period of time. This journey takes a toll physically, mentally, and emotionally; especially in the early weeks. Once life gets back to normal, most sleevers are incredibly happy with their decision. I for one, am ecstatic that I went through with the surgery!!

The first month is hard, but manageable. I never regretted it, but only questioned why I had to go to this extreme to lose weight. I am 3 months out now and down 50 pounds. I have never felt better and know I could have never done it on my own. Everyone second guesses their decision at some point in the process, and there is risk involved, but for me the risk of surgery was worth it. Stay strong.

I had maybe half a day during the liquid diet when I had some 'head hunger' and thought WTF have I done? IE Buyers remorse. A hand full of weeks later I can eat anything I choose to in small amounts and because of my lack of 'true hunger' I'm making good choices.

I think it was my food demons making me feel the buyers remorse. I now have that demon against the ropes, by the throat

I think a lot of people haven't really gotten a full understanding of what having WLS means. You can do the research about possible complication and such, but you don't see a lot of research on the mental aspects of dealing with the discomforts related to the surgery AND making significant changes in your life.

In a lot of ways, the surgery is the easiest part. For a while there will be some discomfort,but after that goes away you have to make some serious lifestyle changes. You have to redefine who you are and what you do. Personally, I used food as a stress reliever and as a substitute for relationships and that had to change. Since I couldn't just dump the stress, I had to change the eating habits. Instead of turning to food, I had to work harder to make my relationships work better.

You can't look at this as "how soon can I eat x?" but rather "I need to eat x to be healthy". This is a major commitment. I see a lot of people on the boards that I follow, that have this surgery then expect that there life will be somehow magically changed without working at it. When people see that there is a real commitment and not a magic bullet, I think they get the WTH thing going.

For me, this surgery is saving my life. Diabetes was going to kill me. There's nothing that I put in my mouth, that was worth dying for. That's whats driving me. I dieted for almost 40 years and only once did I ever get close to a goal weight. I was tired of that and did the surgery. Now I am 5 weeks (yesterday) into it. I haven't lost the pounds that would be ideal, but I have lost 2 pant sizes and about 2% body fat. My sugars are under control, and have already started to cut back on the meds. I hit the gym every day and I feel so much better. I will trade all of that for ANYTHING I could ever possibly eat. Regrets? The only one that I have is that I didn't do it sooner.....

I have read that some people have had regrets - and I understand why - they have truly had rough experiences. Every doctor seems to have different approaches. I would really research your doctor - how many have they done, what is their complication rate? Search this forum for others who have used that doctor and find out what their experiences were like. There are clearly risks to this surgery, and some of the people with regrets are experiencing them. So your best bet is to investigate your surgeon to ensure you have the best possible outcome.

I would tell you if I had regrets, but I've only been sleeved for a week so it's really not enough time or experience with it to tell you. I can tell you my surgery went well, sore belly but no real pain, tolerating liquids without a problem ( don't move to the next post-op phase till next week), had a moment of panic in the hospital, but then remembered liquids aren't my diet for the rest of my life and this phase will be over soon.

I wish you all the best!

I've had a very easy recovery and have been moving through the stages without incident, so I haven't had real regret yet. I'm already thinking about food differently, in the sense that I don't let it consume my life anymore. But I won't lie and say that after a month of not eating what I want (2 week pre-op diet,1 week fluids, 1 week puree, 2 days soft) sometimes I wish I could have my favorite takeout meal from our go-to Thai restaurant, or just one piece of chocolate or bite of baked good that our neighbors gave to us for the holidays. I think it's natural to want something even more when you can't have it, which is why so many new sleevers go through buyers remorse or some form of regret.

I know in a few weeks I'll be free to eat most foods again, and I can have some of my favorite Thai takeout - just a quarter (or maybe even an eighth!) of what I used to eat. I think that's why most people who are several months out don't express regret like the newbies do. Nothing is forced off limits.

I will say that if you don't battle your demons with food, even when you can eat anything again - you may still feel regret. You need to be ok with eating the right way and only partaking in the old "bad" foods rarely and in moderation. If you don't deal with the mental part, I don't think you can ever really cross over and accept your new eating life.

johnlatte - great post! I agree with absolutely everything you said.

Thanks for the great advice...just getting scared because its getting closer, but I can't wait at the same time, wish I could do it now!!!