Need to get back on track!
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For Christmas, I think my dinner will be crow. Or at least it feels like it should be. I have gained a bit back, kinda afraid to get on the scale. It started out as maintenance and I hurt my foot and couldn't be on it as much, and I was bored, and the holidays did not help (my Mom passed away this last year). But I woke up this morning and realized that clothing that was once ridiculously baggy was only, well baggy, and I asked my Hubby who said "umurpmmppphhh" which translates into "pleassseeeee don't make me answer". I am still, at most a size 16, but I was on my way to a full-blown 12. Not as much sucesss as it may seem, but for me near the "perfect size".
I let myself slip, I let myself down. I hope, as of today, I am back up. It has took me several weeks to understand what was happening, to see the difference between events and excuses (or what to do when they are so parallell as to be very hard to distinguish). So in 9 days I will be a year out. I was sleeved on 1-4-2012
I am not wholly dissapointed, I am not going to ignore how far I have progressed. I am going to regain my progress, own my mistakes, and begin to unravel the last few months, try to really understand how this happened. I think it is obvious to me now that knowledge and experience are two different things. I need to marry them - get them together, so they can both work for me.
I will weigh myself this evening on the scales in the warehouse. It has been a good ritual for me, and I had let that slip also.
If anyone is in a similar place, please feel free to speak up. I think this is the gray area alot of us hit, and where alot of us stop posting or visiting the site often - which was another mistake. The support on the way down was essential, why I didn't reach out once I began to realize I needed it was, well, prideful, I think. It was not intended, but was a consequence. I will be back more.