Hi all!

I want to share my story because I feel like things are "hopeless" again like they did all of those years I had been dieting prior to having my gastric sleeve.

I was sleeved in September of 2010 by Dr. Aceves in Mexicali. I had a wonderful experience there and would do it again in a heartbeat. In fact, I feel like I may need to do it again since the weight gain has started.

I started at 240 lbs and the lowest weight I got to, which was last year at this same time, was 150 lbs. At that time, I stuidly felt like I was losing too much weight, as I wanted to stay curvy, so a friend of mine who has had the lap band, suggested I find something high calorie to substitute my daily intake with so I was getting enough calories to not lose any more weight.

Being an emotional eater, this should have been a huge red flag for me, but here was an excuse for me to overindulge, so I took it. cheese was what worked for me. I ate a lot of cheese.. sometimes, nothing but cheese once I figured out it would go down easy. After that I moved onto processed crackers and Cookies, again, things that go down easily without getting full and without getting the sick feeling.

I weighed myself yesterday and I'm back up to 167 lbs. Two months ago I was at 163 lbs, so i'm rapidly climbing back up the scale.

I do go to the gym, was twice a week, but in the last two weeks i've bumped it up to 3 times a week. I do strength training with weights and cardio. I am fairly active on the weekends, as I am fortunate enough to live in an area where everything is either walking or biking distance.

The problem is, and i'm suspecting this will be most of our problem here on this site, is that we are emotional eaters. And it was great at first with the sleeve because you literally could not eat anything.. .or you were so afraid to eat anything that you just wouldn't eat it in fear of getting "that feeling" (you all know what i'm talking about).

I can take the literature and read it over and over... my doctor can send me emails and tell me what to do (eat your Protein first, dont snack, etc). In a perfect world, if I could do that, then I wouldn't have needed to have weight loss surgery in the first place. My brain tells me to eat for comfort, eat when you're happy, eat when you're sad, eat to Celebrate.... and the hard part is, now that I've figured out what I can eat with the sleeve, its becoming more and more difficult to overcome this feeling.

I have been in therapy for about 8 years trying to overcome this emotional eating issue, but its so easy to go back to what we know, rather than change it. Not making excuses... i'm just reaching out to others who may have the same feelings and eating disorder as I do... and maybe if we can get rid of that shame we feel by sharing with each other, we can overcome this need to eat to stuff our emotions. Because I do feel very shameful that I paid all of this money, risked my life in Mexico to have this surgery done... and now i'm sabotaging myself and undoing the very thing that I've wanted my entire life... to be thin and "normal". Whatever normal is...

If you haven't had the sleeve yet, please, make sure you get in tune with yourself with regard to the emotional eating, becuase although the first year or so of the weight loss is great! If you dont get your disorder under control, it will all come back, eventually.

I said at the beginning of this post that I feel hopeless, but by letting me share here, I do feel a little more hopeful than I did when I started writing this.

Thank you for listening.

Nikki

I've been very open and honest in another thread about weight gain. I think it's called Weight Gained Since Surgery. There is also a Back on Track Thread.

It's a battle for me for 2 reasons. One is that I can eat such bigger portions than I could when I was first sleeved. I try not to, but of course, it's hard to stop when it tastes good.

Another is, I am a grazer, in the evenings. I want to have little snacks all evening long.

I am able to keep it to only 10 lbs gained back, but it's a battle. When I was fat, I didn't have a man in my life. Now I do, and he's one that can eat whatever he wants and does not gain any weight. It takes a lot more willpower and control than it did when I was early out and was so full all the time, I didn't even want to look at food.

I'll be 4 years out in April and I have never stopped posting. It's comforting to me to come here and complain to people who understand, that I am still fighting this food battle . It's not because I am hungry. I am one of the people whose hunger has never returned.

It's because food tastes so good and I still love to eat.

What a great thread!

Threads like these add a great deal of value to this forum. I suggest copying this thread and the ones mentioned here by veteran Oregon Daisy and putting up a sub-division somewhere called "long time sleevers" or something. This kind of stuff lifts the fog, it helps you see down the road. It sparked a conversation between my RNY wife and myself about our indulgence in crap food at the theater yesterday. Never again. Detours can be deadly.

From a newby at 1 year 2 months I thank you vets that chimed in!!!

OMG! This thread was written for me! I am currently experiencing weight gain and am sooooo depressed! I recently had a TT and I have done nothing but consistently put on weight. I am up 5lbs since my TT and have no excuses. I eat like a pig and can't seem to stop myself! My daughter and BF keep telling me to stop and slow down and the more I am aware of what I'm doing the more I want to keep eating! I can't seem to figure out what is bothering me and why I am obsessed and DEMAND to sabotage myself! I'm screaming out for help but I know I am the only one that can stop this insanity but I just can't seem to do it. Because of this thread I am going to start tracking my food again on myfitnesspal.com and I am going to start walking for exercise again. Thanks to everyone for the inspiration and insight!

OMG! This thread was written for me! I am currently experiencing weight gain and am sooooo depressed! I recently had a TT and I have done nothing but consistently put on weight. I am up 5lbs since my TT and have no excuses. I eat like a pig and can't seem to stop myself! My daughter and BF keep telling me to stop and slow down and the more I am aware of what I'm doing the more I want to keep eating! I can't seem to figure out what is bothering me and why I am obsessed and DEMAND to sabotage myself! I'm screaming out for help but I know I am the only one that can stop this insanity but I just can't seem to do it. Because of this thread I am going to start tracking my food again on myfitnesspal.com and I am going to start walking for exercise again. Thanks to everyone for the inspiration and insight!

http://www.naturalne...ts_healing.html

http://how-to-burn-fat.com/diet-supplements/l-glutamine-and-hunger-pangs

I am a big believer in glutamine. It is used commonly after operations to speed healing time. I use it for recovery from my hard core workouts and at 64, the effects of stress like that can be tough. I am also into it for long term healing of cancer treatment and my operations. Apparently it can also help suppress hunger according to the second link.

Sometimes hunger is the body searching for something. Just a shot in the dark but maybe you should check your supplement program, water intake, and maybe give glutamine a try.

Here's what I buy:

http://www.bodybuild...-glutamine.html

Thank you Gmanbat! I'll pick some up tonight...it certainly sounds like its worth a chance. My head has been so upset over the weight gain that I didn't stop to evaluate my supplements. Great advice to everyone...

You know it's actually comforting to see that I am not alone. At first when the issue of regain starting coming up here around VST, all I kept reading was "Oh I have changed my eating habits and I only go up and down 2 lbs because I have found a new way of life"

Yeah, that was me in the beginning too. Between 2 and 3 years is when the 2 lbs turned into 4 and they were not going away no matter how hard I tried, and pretty soon, here came 3 more of their friends!

Like I said, I know it's going to be a life long battle. At least I have a fighting chance though with the sleeve, and I look better than most of my 60 yr old friends.

I know I have posted some of this else ware, but here goes. 25 months out from surgery. I lost most of the weight, within 5 pounds of my modest goal. I stalled out there for months and months, and really I was quite happy there. Then I screwed up my knee, stopped over 50% of my exercise and my dear mom in law and sis in law came visiting for 10 weeks. We did a lot of travel, including a stint in New Orleans at the Heritage fest of food and music,ate out LOTS, cooked LOTs and had happy hours every day with snacks. Just how I like it apparently. I gained 18 pounds without a how do you do. Easy Peasy. I attribute this to NOT WRITING IT ALL DOWN and less exercise. So, I came to my senses, started writing stuff down, keeping track around last November. I went on a 1200 cal plan... and did not lose anything for a month. I went to physical therepy and finally got back to the gym and dance class twice a week, as well as walking twice a week and added weights twice a week as well as more gardening. I decided eating 1200 a day was crazy, and I sure aqs hell was not going to eat LESS to try and lose the 18 pounds. I did some research, joined myfitnesspal, quit fitday, and started eating MORE. I am up to around 1800 a day, and not losing any weight, but not gaining any ether. I bought a fitbit, and am really trying to figure out how to move more. It also tracks your sleep, and I am looking at how much I sleep (not enough!) I still don't drink enough water, but do log what I drink. I am guess I am doing want I need to do to maintain where I am. I would like to lose those 18 pounds but short of eating less than 1200 I have not been able to do it yet. I just do not want to go there. I feel good, I recover quickly after exercise. I am sassy. I will be 60 in June and my life is pretty good. My journey is not over yet. I am getting to know my body better even 2 years after surgery.

This is the plan I have been looking at: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/3817-eat-more-to-weigh-less

it proposes I eat 1800 a day to lose weight very slowly until I reach my goal. We will see. I have been following it around 2 months and have not gained or lost. Even though I have not lost, it feels great to eat 1800 cals insted of 1200, I don't obsess about food nearly as much. I even have to make myself eat more some days.

I think this is a really complicated issue.

It's not just habits or emotional eating here. I see a common theme that a lot of folks never got to their visualized goal and were forced to compromise even before beginning the lifelong struggle of maintenance. I'm one of them! I got far closer than I thought I would, sure, but I never did reach that ideal window for me and even "at goal" I'm overweight on the BMI chart.

I don't know a good answer.

What I do hope is that many researching and newly sleeved people read this thread. I think many (even some of us!) don't truly grasp the idea that the sleeve really is just a tool, and that the mental/emotional/physical struggles that helped us reach obesity in the first place might never go away or be fully resolved.

I'll be three years out in July and yes, I'm currently horribly stressed and I'm currently pregnant. But those old triggers and habits are still there, under the surface. If I had put an ounce less work into my mental health while losing, I have no doubt I'd be up forty pounds in this pregnancy rather than the twenty six I'm up. And all of this bad diet temptation reared it's really ugly, convenient head as soon as I got back to the states, where I'm positively bombarded with bad choices and temptations every where I go. And yes, it's STILL a struggle sometimes. I STILL have to stop myself from grabbing candy. I STILL have to say, "No, I will not go through the drive-thru and eat absolute crap today." It's STILL a temptation. Right now, I'm resisting about 90% of the time.

But no mistake...it's still there and I have no doubt that it will always be there.

And I can see that if we do stop tracking and we do get complacent (or injured, or sick, or put on a new medication, or have a great deal of stress, or hey, LIVE NORMAL LIVES) that it could possibly get harder and harder to maintain the farther we get out from surgery.

Maybe, at the heart of things, this is the real reason we see almost nobody 5+ years out and why the stats for long term maintenance (even with our awesome sleeves) are so dispiriting.

Please keep this thread alive. And maybe starting a similar one in the Vet Forum would be beneficial and attract more people that aren't sharing their struggles.

~Cheri

I often hear the phrase, the sleeve is just a tool. What the heck does that mean? Is it a tool because you have to put protein in it first? Or is it a tool because you cannot eat the volumes that you used to?? Is it harder to maintain at your goal weight than it is at your Pre op wt? Sometimes I pat myself on the back, at least I'm not gaining weight so I sort of think of it as losing. I am pre op

The idea is that it's not a magic bullet, and it won't do the work for you. You'll still have to be mindful of your diet and eat the right things (get that protein, skip the empty calories and be careful about slider foods when you are back to normal foods, for example), exercise, and everything else.

What the sleeve DOES, what makes it a tool, is that it will assist you by restricting how much you can put in you at a time. It won't keep you from drinking sugary drinks, or eating something high-calorie, but it will keep you from eating, for example, an entire pizza at one sitting.

in the "Vet Forum" ? I couldn't find this... do we need to start one or is it already in place somewhere I didn't see?

I often hear the phrase, the sleeve is just a tool. What the heck does that mean?

What Space Dust said. The results the first months are a little deceiving for many. It really looks like you won't EVER want to eat much again, I know I couldn't stand sweets early on (now I like everything as much as ever). You can also learn to 'eat around' the sleeve... eat a little bit many times (grazing) eat too much of the wrong things, like ice cream, chips, crackers and some other things just seem to go on down the hatch without touching bottom (sliders). You have to remain vigilant, the tool will not say no to you in the same degree as at the beginning (except protein first does seem to continue to work pretty well for most)

I often hear the phrase, the sleeve is just a tool. What the heck does that mean? Is it a tool because you have to put Protein in it first? Or is it a tool because you cannot eat the volumes that you used to?? Is it harder to maintain at your goal weight than it is at your Pre op wt? Sometimes I pat myself on the back, at least I'm not gaining weight so I sort of think of it as losing. I am pre op

I agree with the other 2 posters above. You can't expect that having this surgery done will be the answer to your weight loss. It will help you, but you still have to eat a healthy diet and have a healthy lifestyle. Like someone else said, you might feel like you don't like anything in the beginning, but you mostly likely will later on. Everything that used to taste good to me still tastes good to me. And everything that tastes good is usually a "slider" food. That means you can eat a lot of it despite having the sleeve. Things that are simple carbs (crackers and chips), and liquids can be consumed in large amounts. If you are drinking sugary drinks all day, don't expect to keep your weight off. Too many come into this surgery thinking that they will still be able to eat whatever they want, lose all the weight, and maintain forever. And it is just not that simple.

This is pretty scarey but you can stop the weight gain right now and go back to eating Protein first and then some veggies. I do highly recommend that you get back to therapy and work on those negative thoughts in your head to curve this cycle. You are not at a loss, this is just a learning lesson that we all must learn..... Here is a copy of LilMissDiva's "The Basic Bootcamp Diet" that will get the sugar out of your system, to abort the sweet cravings.......BTW i don't believe 150 lbs is where your going to stop, so let your body do the work it is suppose too. Eat under 1200 calories a day. You can do this.. Here is the plan:

The BASICS BOOTCAMP:

For 5 STRICT DAYS I will eat only...

Proteins: Seafoods, Poultry and eggs, Dairies, nuts/seeds including Peanut Butter.

Veggies: Green only.

Fruits: None.

Breads/Cereals/Other Carbs: None.

Fluids: One gallon of Water (128 oz.) or Protein drinks.

Avoid: Sugar and Sodium

Once the 5 days are over, I am pretty much over the Sugar Carb Demon. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate carbs! I do need them to live a healthy life and since I workout a lot it is important I have them. However, I need GOOD carbs. Whole grains, fruits, veggies... But I don't need processed sugars. White carbs, in cereals, breads, rice... etc.

Thx for posting...starting today...

Hi everyone,

I'm an emotional eater. Had my vsg about a year and a half ago and I have lost very little weight. Because of using food to self medicate. I have managed to get some health issues improved, yet I feel like a failure . I'm now seeing a therapist and I'm optimistic in many ways. I need a cheering section, and someone to be accountable with. Any takers?!

Hi everyone,

I'm an emotional eater. Had my vsg about a year and a half ago and I have lost very little weight. Because of using food to self medicate. I have managed to get some health issues improved, yet I feel like a failure . I'm now seeing a therapist and I'm optimistic in many ways. I need a cheering section, and someone to be accountable with. Any takers?!

You came to the right place, as soon as you get in 200 posts you can get into the Vets forum, and join us working to get the last few pounds off, or struggling with weight regain. Really, post here and develop a group that knows who you are! Help others, that really helps me.

I have a friend who was sleeved 6 years ago and since had 2 children and gained more than half of the 130 lost right back but she was honest in saying she ate whatever she wanted and never worked out. Well last year, she got serious again and has lost almost all the weight again.

Maybe since u still have ur backup tool, u still have a better fighting chance than most when it comes to losing it again, she looks great now. She said she can control her weight now because she's so in tune with her body.