Hi all!

I want to share my story because I feel like things are "hopeless" again like they did all of those years I had been dieting prior to having my gastric sleeve.

I was sleeved in September of 2010 by Dr. Aceves in Mexicali. I had a wonderful experience there and would do it again in a heartbeat. In fact, I feel like I may need to do it again since the weight gain has started.

I started at 240 lbs and the lowest weight I got to, which was last year at this same time, was 150 lbs. At that time, I stuidly felt like I was losing too much weight, as I wanted to stay curvy, so a friend of mine who has had the lap band, suggested I find something high calorie to substitute my daily intake with so I was getting enough calories to not lose any more weight.

Being an emotional eater, this should have been a huge red flag for me, but here was an excuse for me to overindulge, so I took it. cheese was what worked for me. I ate a lot of cheese.. sometimes, nothing but cheese once I figured out it would go down easy. After that I moved onto processed crackers and Cookies, again, things that go down easily without getting full and without getting the sick feeling.

I weighed myself yesterday and I'm back up to 167 lbs. Two months ago I was at 163 lbs, so i'm rapidly climbing back up the scale.

I do go to the gym, was twice a week, but in the last two weeks i've bumped it up to 3 times a week. I do strength training with weights and cardio. I am fairly active on the weekends, as I am fortunate enough to live in an area where everything is either walking or biking distance.

The problem is, and i'm suspecting this will be most of our problem here on this site, is that we are emotional eaters. And it was great at first with the sleeve because you literally could not eat anything.. .or you were so afraid to eat anything that you just wouldn't eat it in fear of getting "that feeling" (you all know what i'm talking about).

I can take the literature and read it over and over... my doctor can send me emails and tell me what to do (eat your Protein first, dont snack, etc). In a perfect world, if I could do that, then I wouldn't have needed to have weight loss surgery in the first place. My brain tells me to eat for comfort, eat when you're happy, eat when you're sad, eat to Celebrate.... and the hard part is, now that I've figured out what I can eat with the sleeve, its becoming more and more difficult to overcome this feeling.

I have been in therapy for about 8 years trying to overcome this emotional eating issue, but its so easy to go back to what we know, rather than change it. Not making excuses... i'm just reaching out to others who may have the same feelings and eating disorder as I do... and maybe if we can get rid of that shame we feel by sharing with each other, we can overcome this need to eat to stuff our emotions. Because I do feel very shameful that I paid all of this money, risked my life in Mexico to have this surgery done... and now i'm sabotaging myself and undoing the very thing that I've wanted my entire life... to be thin and "normal". Whatever normal is...

If you haven't had the sleeve yet, please, make sure you get in tune with yourself with regard to the emotional eating, becuase although the first year or so of the weight loss is great! If you dont get your disorder under control, it will all come back, eventually.

I said at the beginning of this post that I feel hopeless, but by letting me share here, I do feel a little more hopeful than I did when I started writing this.

Thank you for listening.

Nikki

This thread is a good reminder to stay actively engaged in eating healthy, even years out. It's not easy. Our patterns persist, but hopefully we're better at taking control when needed.

That you so much for sharing your struggles. It sounds like you are slowly getting yourself actively involved in getting back on track. It is generous of you to share and which will help all of us know how weight gain can occur creeping back into our lives!

Your post reinforces me to continue my plan to track everything even while in maintenance, to keep making exercise a priority, and to mindfully choose what goes in my mouth. I won't be perfect but I can be accountable.

Again, thanks again and I wish you all the best in getting back to your goal weight. Sounds like your eyes are wide open now and you are headed in the right direction! You got this!