Hi all!

I want to share my story because I feel like things are "hopeless" again like they did all of those years I had been dieting prior to having my gastric sleeve.

I was sleeved in September of 2010 by Dr. Aceves in Mexicali. I had a wonderful experience there and would do it again in a heartbeat. In fact, I feel like I may need to do it again since the weight gain has started.

I started at 240 lbs and the lowest weight I got to, which was last year at this same time, was 150 lbs. At that time, I stuidly felt like I was losing too much weight, as I wanted to stay curvy, so a friend of mine who has had the lap band, suggested I find something high calorie to substitute my daily intake with so I was getting enough calories to not lose any more weight.

Being an emotional eater, this should have been a huge red flag for me, but here was an excuse for me to overindulge, so I took it. cheese was what worked for me. I ate a lot of cheese.. sometimes, nothing but cheese once I figured out it would go down easy. After that I moved onto processed crackers and Cookies, again, things that go down easily without getting full and without getting the sick feeling.

I weighed myself yesterday and I'm back up to 167 lbs. Two months ago I was at 163 lbs, so i'm rapidly climbing back up the scale.

I do go to the gym, was twice a week, but in the last two weeks i've bumped it up to 3 times a week. I do strength training with weights and cardio. I am fairly active on the weekends, as I am fortunate enough to live in an area where everything is either walking or biking distance.

The problem is, and i'm suspecting this will be most of our problem here on this site, is that we are emotional eaters. And it was great at first with the sleeve because you literally could not eat anything.. .or you were so afraid to eat anything that you just wouldn't eat it in fear of getting "that feeling" (you all know what i'm talking about).

I can take the literature and read it over and over... my doctor can send me emails and tell me what to do (eat your Protein first, dont snack, etc). In a perfect world, if I could do that, then I wouldn't have needed to have weight loss surgery in the first place. My brain tells me to eat for comfort, eat when you're happy, eat when you're sad, eat to Celebrate.... and the hard part is, now that I've figured out what I can eat with the sleeve, its becoming more and more difficult to overcome this feeling.

I have been in therapy for about 8 years trying to overcome this emotional eating issue, but its so easy to go back to what we know, rather than change it. Not making excuses... i'm just reaching out to others who may have the same feelings and eating disorder as I do... and maybe if we can get rid of that shame we feel by sharing with each other, we can overcome this need to eat to stuff our emotions. Because I do feel very shameful that I paid all of this money, risked my life in Mexico to have this surgery done... and now i'm sabotaging myself and undoing the very thing that I've wanted my entire life... to be thin and "normal". Whatever normal is...

If you haven't had the sleeve yet, please, make sure you get in tune with yourself with regard to the emotional eating, becuase although the first year or so of the weight loss is great! If you dont get your disorder under control, it will all come back, eventually.

I said at the beginning of this post that I feel hopeless, but by letting me share here, I do feel a little more hopeful than I did when I started writing this.

Thank you for listening.

Nikki

Hi,

I, too, am one of those who rarely visits the site or posts after more than three years post-surgery but, tonight, out of curiousity felt compelled to see how others are getting on (I recognise a few old faces who were with me on my sleeve journey 4 years ago this summer).

I have gained nearly 42lbs in 2.5 years. 12 months out I weighed about 187lbs and this was the lowest I got to. Gradually, the weight has crept back on and I have been dieting and exercising on and off in a desperate attempt to gain some control.

I don't think I ever fully will though. I struggled from day 1 and never ever had the feelings of fullness that others reported. I did really well for about 8 months post-op and then it just got harder and harder. I went back to my old 'ways' of drinking and bingeing and it is only now that I really have come to recognise that I have a serious psychological issue with eating. I binge, even with my sleeve, and make myself sick with it. I do it more when I am on my own and when my husband cannot make comment. It's something I feel I can do when no one is around. It's stupid. And to think that I have been through 2 bariatric surgeries and 2 hernia surgeries makes it all the more stupid.

I'm trying to gain control again and have started back at the gym. I'm logging my foods once more in a serious attempt to lose the weight again. I think I also need to look at some kind of CBT as well in order to try and recognise and address the psychological issues I have.

I'm sorry that you are struggling.... the food addiction and pyschological issues that go along with it are horrible! I've been in therapy for 8 years trying to overcome it ,but its incredibly difficult, since most of us equate food with love. It's something that we learned at an early age, its comforting.... and its very shameful, which is why we mostly eat/ binge alone. And if we're not alone we're always "explaining away" why we're eating what we're eating. It's especially shameful to have gone through weight loss surgery only to be having the same problem.

I have been trying a new approach to this... and I don't know how long its going to work, or maybe it will be a new way of eating for me, but a friend gave me this book called The 21 day Virgin Diet, written by JJ Virgin. And its basically a book to see if you have allergies to foods.... foods that maybe you are having an allergic reaction to, that causes inflammation or weight gain, and we just don't realize it. The summary is... you cut out dairy, eggs, gluten, soy, corn, sugar and artificial sweeteners for 21 days. After that, you reintroduce these foods, one at a time for a week at a time, to see if your body has any reaction to it. I've been doing this for about 8 days... and have lost about 4 lbs. But i'm trying to not make it about the weight for me, becuase that takes me to a bad place. If I can convince myself that maybe I do have a food allergy... maybe cheese, although i love it, isnt the best thing for my body to be ingesting? Or maybe i shouldnt be eating soy?

Sometimes, we can convince our brains that this is not a diet... I mean, you can eat as much as you want, just not any of those things.. therefore.. i'm not restricted, therefore, its not a diet.

I figure its worth a shot... i have nothing to lose... you may want to look into it and see if its something that might help.

Take care!

Nikki

Bornagainbabe, Nikki & everyone else out there whose having problems with weight gain- I want to express my sincere "thanks & gratitude" for sharing your stories. So often we hear about the success stories & no one is brave enough to talk about their struggles. I knew that this wouldn't be an easy journey. I appreciate you stepping forward & take comfort in knowing there are people to share my strengths & weaknesses with. Although I am only 4 mos out, I have had my fair share of ups & downs. This concerns me that the road ahead is going to be a bumpy one, one i have traveled many times. Many do not know this but I'm ready to share, in hopes this may help someone else. I am a bulimic, once getting down to 102 lbs. I went to therapy for years.. Ive got a grip on my disease, at the moment. I later found out it caused a condition known as gastroperesis (stomach paralysis). I eventually gained weight over the years but it's so easy to let food have a powerful hold on me & my weight climbed up to 180. Due to comorbidities & the gastroperesis I had VSG. I am currently off most meds, know what I need to do, but still struggle daily with a never ending battle within myself. You can overcome your inner demons by taking one step at a time. I wish each & every one of you the best of luck in your journey & take comfort in knowing we are here for each other.

Thank you sooo much for your post! I have been going through a lot of therapy to address emotional eating as well. I recently came across a therapy called EMDR. I have made LEAPS AND BOUNDS with this therapy and it has helped me more than talk therapy- actually there has been no comparison. Talk therapy never helped me in the past and man I sure did a lot of it and spent !!!!!!! Your post is soooo important to all of us- thank you for sharing and may you grab the bull by its horns again!!!!

Can I ask what you love about the EMDR?

Especially with something as personal and emotionally charged as morbid obesity and postsurgical weight loss' date=' there's always an understandable tendency to over-identify and generalize based on personal experience.

This is why I've been reading as many scientific journal articles as I can find in the university library about the long-term effects of the laparoscopic sleeve gastrectomy. I really want to know what I can expect based not only on the wonderful anecdotal evidence I have gleaned from these forums but, perhaps more so, on the professional literature.

There are considerably more research studies on the long-term postoperative effects of RNY than VSG simply because the former has been used as a standalone procedure for many more years.

Much to my surprise, the 2-year postoperative weight loss effects of VSG are statistically better than the 5-year follow-up statistics associated with RNY: One study reports a weight regain rate of 50% after five years with gastric bypass (see Magro, Geloneze & Delfini, et al., 2008), while several studies repeatedly cite a 24-month weight regain rate of no more than 20 percent with sleeve gastrectomy (Bohdjalian, Langer & Shakeri-Leidenmühler, et al., 2010; Gumbs, Gagner, & Dakin, et al., 2007). According to researchers Baltasar, Serra, & Pérez, there is a positive correlation between starting BMI and likelihood of long-term regain, i.e., those with BMIs over 45 at the time of surgery are overrepresented in the 20 percent of 2-year postoperative VSG patients who regain weight from the nadir, i.e., the lowest postsurgical weight-loss point, (2007, p. 1125).

As is true with any Internet forum, there is always the question regarding whether people who frequent digital forums are truly representative of the larger population in question. In other words, are forum members who post regularly on Vertical Sleeve Talk representative of your typical VSG patient in the world today? That's a very hard question to answer and social psychologists who study Internet behavior, particularly Internet addiction, have been arguing this point back-and-forth for years.

Computers and Internet access are certainly far more common and available today than they ever have been and it's fair to assume that anyone who can afford to pay for elective surgery can also afford to own a computer and an Internet modem. However, it can also be argued, for example, that those who frequent Internet forums are--on the average--generally more sedentary than those who don't and, consequently, are more likely to gain weight in general and, in particular, after weight loss surgery.

Nevertheless, if we can agree--for the sake of this discussion--that Vertical Sleeve Talk members are truly representative of all VSG patients in the world today and if the research literature I have read (not to mention the information provided to me by my own surgeon) is reliable then--in reality--approximately 80 percent of those who posted on these forums--at one time or another--and have received the surgery have kept the weight off since reaching goal.

My one major criticism of the research articles I have read (and those included below are only a small representative sample) is that--with the one exception of starting BMI--they don't identify those variables that are associated with long-term success or failure.

That's why I think it would really be nice to hear from forum members who have reached goal and kept the weigh off after the two-year postsurgical mark.

At any rate, psychosocial factors associated with postsurgical long-term success (and failure) really do need to be explored in the professional literature.

Notes

Baltasar, A., Serra, C., Pérez, N., Bou, R., Bengochea, M. & Ferri, L. (2005). Laparoscopic Sleeve Gastrectomy: A Multi-purpose Bariatric Operation. Obesity Surgery, Vol. 15., pp. 1124-1128

Bohdjalian, A., Langer, F.B., Shakeri-Leidenmühler, S., Gfrerer, L. , Ludvik, B. & Johannes Zacherl & Gerhard Prager (2010). Sleeve Gastrectomy as Sole and Definitive Bariatric Procedure: 5-Year Results for Weight Loss and Ghrelin. Obesity Surgery, Vol. 20, pp. 535–540

Gumbs, A.A., Gagner, M., Dakin, G., & Pomp, A. (2007). Sleeve Gastrectomy for Morbid Obesity. Obesity Surgery, Vol. 17, pp. 962-969

Magro, D.O., Geloneze, B. Delfini. R, Pareja. B.C., Callejas, R. & Pareja, J.C. (2008). Long-term Weight Regain after Gastric Bypass: A 5-year Prospective Study. Obesity Surgery, Vol. 18, pp. 648–651[/quote']

Thank you for that excellent research sharing. I'm always wanting to know beyond the anecdotal also!

I've been very open and honest in another thread about weight gain. I think it's called Weight Gained Since Surgery. There is also a Back on Track Thread.

It's a battle for me for 2 reasons. One is that I can eat such bigger portions than I could when I was first sleeved. I try not to, but of course, it's hard to stop when it tastes good.

Another is, I am a grazer, in the evenings. I want to have little Snacks all evening long.

I am able to keep it to only 10 lbs gained back, but it's a battle. When I was fat, I didn't have a man in my life. Now I do, and he's one that can eat whatever he wants and does not gain any weight. It takes a lot more willpower and control than it did when I was early out and was so full all the time, I didn't even want to look at food.

I'll be 4 years out in April and I have never stopped posting. It's comforting to me to come here and complain to people who understand, that I am still fighting this food battle . It's not because I am hungry. I am one of the people whose hunger has never returned.

It's because food tastes so good and I still love to eat.

@OregonDaisy,

I want to thank you for sharing your frustration and personal struggles with weight loss maintenance. Thank you, in particular, for continuing to share with us four years after surgery.

What I would like to write in response is that I have never been able to keep my excess weight off for more than a few months at a time. That's why I had the surgery 29 days ago.

If four years from now, I can come back here and report that I have been able to maintain my weight loss at just 10 measly pounds above goal, I would personally consider that a raving success—even (perhaps especially) if I had to work at it every day.

Is this not a result you should be very proud of? I would be.

I am preop and all this scares the heck out of me. I hate the thoughts of having this surgery only to fail, gain the weight back. I know it is a real possibility and for me, I haven't been sucessful in any diet. I love to eat and food tastes SOOO good. I am really scared about the future. I do realize you must change your way of life, eating habits, etc. That is what scares me.

I am really scared about the future. I do realize you must change your way of life, eating habits, etc. That is what scares me.

I believe the key to long-term success is self-honesty, a realistic understanding of the procedure, especially the recovery process, and the strengths and limitations of the surgery.

The surgery is most effective long-term with patients who had trouble with portion control and between-meal (and after dinner) hunger pains. The surgery is less effective in helping compulsive eaters, what forum members refer to as "grazers" or perpetual "snackers," i.e., those who are driven to eat frequently out of boredom or the sheer taste of it, people who can't pass the kitchen without popping a cookie or a handful of potato chips into their mouths. Related to grazing is the problem of emotional eating, that is, eating to self-medicate anxiety, depression, and frustration. The problem here is that you can very easily continue that type of problematic eating behavior shortly after the surgery.

Before the surgery, try to honestly reflect on what kind of problem eater you are. If you are an emotional or compulsive eater, then you should be in some sort of psychotherapy before the surgery to start dealing with these issues. Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) often produces the most efficacious short-term results but a good psychodynamically-oriented treatment will more likely help you mourn your old relationship with food and help you to understand the complicated symbolic meanings of food in your life.

Both personally and professionally, I don't believe in abstinence, i.e., deliberately avoiding foods that you enjoy or substituting foods low in calories for preferred high-calorie foods. If you feel like eating Ben and Jerry's New York chocolate Chuck ice cream, then learn to eat two to three ounces of it instead of eight or 16 ounces. If you can't do that, then substituting eight ounces of Dannon's low-fat yogurt is not an effective strategy. If you can't exercise moderation then it is better to deal with this problem directly in treatment than to try and work around it with food substitutions.

Over the long haul, who here has ever successfully satisfied the urge to eat potato chips with a handful of carrot sticks?

An essential part of the moderation approach is food tracking or monitoring. In consultation with your nutritionist or surgeon, agree to a daily calorie goal and stick to it using a program like My Fitness Pal or Fitocracy. Track everything that goes into your mouth and you are far more likely to reach goal and keep the weight off. Those who fail to reach goal and regain significant amounts of weight are, almost entirely, not tracking their food intake.

I've been very open and honest in another thread about weight gain. I think it's called Weight Gained Since Surgery. There is also a Back on Track Thread.

It's a battle for me for 2 reasons. One is that I can eat such bigger portions than I could when I was first sleeved. I try not to, but of course, it's hard to stop when it tastes good.

Another is, I am a grazer, in the evenings. I want to have little Snacks all evening long.

I am able to keep it to only 10 lbs gained back, but it's a battle. When I was fat, I didn't have a man in my life. Now I do, and he's one that can eat whatever he wants and does not gain any weight. It takes a lot more willpower and control than it did when I was early out and was so full all the time, I didn't even want to look at food.

I'll be 4 years out in April and I have never stopped posting. It's comforting to me to come here and complain to people who understand, that I am still fighting this food battle . It's not because I am hungry. I am one of the people whose hunger has never returned.

It's because food tastes so good and I still love to eat.

I'm glad you're still here. I have enjoyed your posts the entire time I've been on VSG - both prior to my surgery and after.

It is not easy. It can get a lot easier if we do the work but it's never easy. The fact that you freely and openly post about the very real struggle it can be is important. Too many hide their struggles away and lurk or leave VST altogether. It's important that pre-ops don't go into this thinking it will be the magic bullet and that the sleeve will tackle every other food related issue for them. It doesn't work.

I also enjoy eating. I love to cook and I bake several days a week. I have had a fairly easy go of it in maintenance but I've definitely had to watch what/how I eat while pregnant. My appetite is still not there so much and I'm not really craving things. But my capacity is larger and being unable to stick to my usual Protein heavy diet has meant I'm eating more carbs. Which isn't a problem in and of itself...it's making sure I keep those carb choices to the healthy ones (most of the time) and keep my hands out of the candy bowl or cookie jar.

And now that I'm pregnant, I want to snack at night again. It's hard to stop that behavior and hard to say no. Mostly I succeed but sometimes I don't.

Anyway, this wasn't me quoting you to write about me. I wanted to say that I've also shared some of the same struggles and I appreciate that you're real and honest about your personal journey. Your experience is valuable to this community. You're one of the people that motivated me to get sleeved in 2010, and your posts about Dr. Aceves helped convince me to start researching him.

~Cheri

Yes, I can so relate to this! I have been at a standstill for 3 months...have had a ton of stress in my life and resorted back to emotional eating. I am proud of what I have accomplished so far but I want to get the ball rolling again. I am going to count my protiens and calories and get back on track! We have to do this! We deserve it! This is soooo hard! But dont beat yourself up, take one day at a time and let us all support each other! It is our fight!

I appreciate the candor everyone has had on this thread. I am pre-op - I go for my intake appointment on Tuesday with Bluegrass Bariatric. These are questions I have had as I have gone through this process. Will it last? Will I be successful?

I think, for me, this surgery will be a long term solution. I am not an emotional eater. I don't eat after 7 pm by choice. I have terrible eating habits and no sense of portion control. That little switch in our brain that says "I am full, stop eating" doesn't always work. And I travel for work all the time, so I eat out and eat fast food a lot.

I have been practicing eating more slowly, making sure I really chew my food (that one is hard for me!), and eating my Protein first. Last night my husband wanted Arby's but I wasn't hungry. In the past I would have eaten just because I was there. Instead I just had a drink and chatted while he ate.

I know I will slip up and make mistakes, but I am looking at this surgery not just as a way to lose the weight now, but also as a way to fix the bad habits I have picked up as an adult.

Sorry to hijack the thread and write a dissertation.

This thread should be required reading for anyone considering WLS! I'm a failed "bandster" revising to the sleeve. No matter how much research I did ahead of time or how smart I thought I was there was still some part of me that thought of that surgery as the ultimate solution!

I fell for all the commercials and the marketing made it look like everything would be so easy! Magic. It would do 90% of the work and I'd only have to do 10%. Well, the band never worked for me like it has for so many people (restriction was rare). I had to do 90% of the work and made a lot of poor choices and a lot of excuses.

There was no magic. It also did nothing to control what I put in my mouth.

The majority of us here do not have a healthy relationship with food. Even those who think they do may just be kidding themselves. I remember watching a documentary years ago about a man who had bypass. His "healthy" Protein snack was fried chicken. Poached eggs for Breakfast - good choice, but there were about 6 of them! pizza boxes still littered his house.

Information, honesty and self reflection. For me, I have to get past eating because I'm bored and making simply the wrong choice. I know I'm going to have to be one of those that journals everything they eat.

Good luck everyone, and thanks so much for sharing. This post has been incredibly helpful and made me again do some self discovery.

I appreciate the candor everyone has had on this thread. I am pre-op - I go for my intake appointment on Tuesday with Bluegrass Bariatric. These are questions I have had as I have gone through this process. Will it last? Will I be successful?

Bluegrass did my surgery, too Dr. Oldham did my surgery in Louisville at Baptist East.

Thank you Mason and Cheri.

The reason I do stay here is the support here is so valuable. It not only helps me to share my battles , but I do want new people to know the honeymoon does not last forever. It takes a lot of willpower when you get to maintenance, and people need to know the sleeve is not going to do all the work.

The sleeve is a very big help though. The reason I've been able to hold it to only a 10 lb gain is I am so seldom hungry. If I got a control on head hunger, I would have this problem licked. With cravings and head hunger, it's not the sleeve that's going to help. It's good old fashioned willpower.

Hi All!

Well, i'm back! I had replied to a post on here earlier about an elimination diet i started January 1st to see if it would help control some of my cravings, etc.

I am happy to say that it has worked! I have lost 10 lbs and have managed to look at this "diet" as a new way of eating. I also feel that it has "renewed my sleeve" (if that's even possible). I guess I was feeling before I started this that I could eat so much more.. and thus gaining weight. I'm now back to literally having a few bites of things and then feeling full (the way we all felt post op to about 1 year after).

The elimination diet is from a book a friend gave to me called the Virgin Diet (by JJ Virgin). I believe that the reason it has worked for me thus far is that you have to be completely obsessed about what you are eating all day in order to keep certain things out of your diet. You have to read every ingredient in everything you buy. You have to be extremely creative in the meals that you prepare for yourself. It might not be the healthiest approach, but in essence, I obsess about food anyway, all day, what I can eat what i "shouldn't" eat, which creates a lot of shame, and then tells my brain to eat more for comfort. This diet is allowing me to continue the obsession, but in doing so, i'm searching for healthy alternatives. I'm eating almost no processed foods (which is a huge culprit in weight gain). And by eating mainly Proteins and vegetables, brown rice, etc. this slows down the digestive process, which allows you to feel full longer.... and also, fills up your sleeve quicker.

I will admit the past 4 days or so I had a few bites of a cupcake on Valentine's day....a chocolate....two bites of a cheese quesadilla and yesterday, totally forgot to order a "pizza" gluten free. (I say "pizza" becuase it was actually a huge farmers market salad on top of a gluten free crust... i just forgot to say gluten free and thus suffered the consequences). Yep, turns out that since I haven't eating gluten for almost 2 months, I had a reaction to it when I ate it yesterday (mouth numb and tingling and stomach issues). Also, since not eating eggs for the same amount of time, when I tried to reintroduce them, they made me want to gag.

I know this sort of thing won't work for everyone, but I feel such success and a new way of looking at food, that I never thought I would EVER see.... I want to share it with all of you that have similar obsessive food issues and emotional eating. You can still eat as much as you want (which us sleevers know ,its isnt much)... that's why I dont really call it a diet... i'm not restricting myself.

BTW, the cupcake and the chocolate did not taste good AT ALL! All I could taste was the sugar. I will say, however, the few bites of cheese quesadilla tasted incredible! I chewed and savored both bites of it.... but that was enough. Becuase I know that if I even attempted to eat an entire slice of a cheese quesadilla, the consequences that I would suffer the next few hours following that slice, is entirely not worth it.

Anyway, thank you to everyone that posted on this thread. I've read all of your posts and appreciate all of the support here. My spirits are up and I feel like I am in a much better place. I never thought that my sleeve was going to work again for me, and I was completely wrong. We can get out of this.... and its not about willpower becuase that NEVER works. I didn't think I could change my eating habits, but I do feel so much better in my body and this feeling, of not waking up every morning to diarrhea (sorry to be gross but its true), is worth me staying on this path of food decisions.

I do suggest you check out the book (or maybe you can find parts of it on line if you dont want to buy it).

Take care, everyone!