Hi all!

I want to share my story because I feel like things are "hopeless" again like they did all of those years I had been dieting prior to having my gastric sleeve.

I was sleeved in September of 2010 by Dr. Aceves in Mexicali. I had a wonderful experience there and would do it again in a heartbeat. In fact, I feel like I may need to do it again since the weight gain has started.

I started at 240 lbs and the lowest weight I got to, which was last year at this same time, was 150 lbs. At that time, I stuidly felt like I was losing too much weight, as I wanted to stay curvy, so a friend of mine who has had the lap band, suggested I find something high calorie to substitute my daily intake with so I was getting enough calories to not lose any more weight.

Being an emotional eater, this should have been a huge red flag for me, but here was an excuse for me to overindulge, so I took it. cheese was what worked for me. I ate a lot of cheese.. sometimes, nothing but cheese once I figured out it would go down easy. After that I moved onto processed crackers and Cookies, again, things that go down easily without getting full and without getting the sick feeling.

I weighed myself yesterday and I'm back up to 167 lbs. Two months ago I was at 163 lbs, so i'm rapidly climbing back up the scale.

I do go to the gym, was twice a week, but in the last two weeks i've bumped it up to 3 times a week. I do strength training with weights and cardio. I am fairly active on the weekends, as I am fortunate enough to live in an area where everything is either walking or biking distance.

The problem is, and i'm suspecting this will be most of our problem here on this site, is that we are emotional eaters. And it was great at first with the sleeve because you literally could not eat anything.. .or you were so afraid to eat anything that you just wouldn't eat it in fear of getting "that feeling" (you all know what i'm talking about).

I can take the literature and read it over and over... my doctor can send me emails and tell me what to do (eat your Protein first, dont snack, etc). In a perfect world, if I could do that, then I wouldn't have needed to have weight loss surgery in the first place. My brain tells me to eat for comfort, eat when you're happy, eat when you're sad, eat to Celebrate.... and the hard part is, now that I've figured out what I can eat with the sleeve, its becoming more and more difficult to overcome this feeling.

I have been in therapy for about 8 years trying to overcome this emotional eating issue, but its so easy to go back to what we know, rather than change it. Not making excuses... i'm just reaching out to others who may have the same feelings and eating disorder as I do... and maybe if we can get rid of that shame we feel by sharing with each other, we can overcome this need to eat to stuff our emotions. Because I do feel very shameful that I paid all of this money, risked my life in Mexico to have this surgery done... and now i'm sabotaging myself and undoing the very thing that I've wanted my entire life... to be thin and "normal". Whatever normal is...

If you haven't had the sleeve yet, please, make sure you get in tune with yourself with regard to the emotional eating, becuase although the first year or so of the weight loss is great! If you dont get your disorder under control, it will all come back, eventually.

I said at the beginning of this post that I feel hopeless, but by letting me share here, I do feel a little more hopeful than I did when I started writing this.

Thank you for listening.

Nikki

Hi all!

I want to share my story because I feel like things are "hopeless" again like they did all of those years I had been dieting prior to having my gastric sleeve.

I was sleeved in September of 2010 by Dr. Aceves in Mexicali. I had a wonderful experience there and would do it again in a heartbeat. In fact' date=' I feel like I may need to do it again since the weight gain has started.

I started at 240 lbs and the lowest weight I got to, which was last year at this same time, was 150 lbs. At that time, I stuidly felt like I was losing too much weight, as I wanted to stay curvy, so a friend of mine who has had the lap band, suggested I find something high calorie to substitute my daily intake with so I was getting enough calories to not lose any more weight.

Being an emotional eater, this should have been a huge red flag for me, but here was an excuse for me to overindulge, so I took it. cheese was what worked for me. I ate a lot of cheese.. sometimes, nothing but cheese once I figured out it would go down easy. After that I moved onto processed crackers and Cookies, again, things that go down easily without getting full and without getting the sick feeling.

I weighed myself yesterday and I'm back up to 167 lbs. Two months ago I was at 163 lbs, so i'm rapidly climbing back up the scale.

I do go to the gym, was twice a week, but in the last two weeks i've bumped it up to 3 times a week. I do strength training with weights and cardio. I am fairly active on the weekends, as I am fortunate enough to live in an area where everything is either walking or biking distance.

The problem is, and i'm suspecting this will be most of our problem here on this site, is that we are emotional eaters. And it was great at first with the sleeve because you literally could not eat anything.. .or you were so afraid to eat anything that you just wouldn't eat it in fear of getting "that feeling" (you all know what i'm talking about).

I can take the literature and read it over and over... my doctor can send me emails and tell me what to do (eat your Protein first, dont snack, etc). In a perfect world, if I could do that, then I wouldn't have needed to have weight loss surgery in the first place. My brain tells me to eat for comfort, eat when you're happy, eat when you're sad, eat to Celebrate.... and the hard part is, now that I've figured out what I can eat with the sleeve, its becoming more and more difficult to overcome this feeling.

I have been in therapy for about 8 years trying to overcome this emotional eating issue, but its so easy to go back to what we know, rather than change it. Not making excuses... i'm just reaching out to others who may have the same feelings and eating disorder as I do... and maybe if we can get rid of that shame we feel by sharing with each other, we can overcome this need to eat to stuff our emotions. Because I do feel very shameful that I paid all of this money, risked my life in Mexico to have this surgery done... and now i'm sabotaging myself and undoing the very thing that I've wanted my entire life... to be thin and "normal". Whatever normal is...

If you haven't had the sleeve yet, please, make sure you get in tune with yourself with regard to the emotional eating, becuase although the first year or so of the weight loss is great! If you dont get your disorder under control, it will all come back, eventually.

I said at the beginning of this post that I feel hopeless, but by letting me share here, I do feel a little more hopeful than I did when I started writing this.

Thank you for listening.

Nikki[/quote']

Thanks for sharing. I know that can be hard! We need to hear the reality!

I am 2 years out and here are my answers to your survey:

• What contributing role would you say your sleeve (reduced stomach) plays in your ability to successfully maintain the weight loss (e.g., 25, 50, 75, 90 percent)?
  

Seriously 100%. Now, I can eat more than in the beginning, but it is all about portion control for me. I do still have to deal with emotional eating because I can lose control, but there is sstrict limit with how much I can physically put in my body. My big problem is eating every 2 hours. in the beginning I had to, but now I don't and it has been trying making that mental shift. If I didn't have the sleeve, I would be completely lost.

• Related, how much conscious effort does your continued weight loss require? That is, must you deliberately monitor your food intake on a daily basis or does the restriction of the sleeve necessarily limit how much you can eat so that maintenance is relatively effortless?
  

It does take some effort. if I eat as often as the urge strikes, i would slowly gain weight. however, I don't find it too difficult to eat mostly good things. If I track my eating, I can see that it's the 6th snack and/ or the one alcoholic drink that will put me over the limit. If I am in a good frame of mind (not recently because of family suicide) I find it pretty easy to cut out the one serving that is keeping me from losing. Right now I am struggling, but my struggle lands me in the 135-140 range without too much effort. I am not upset about it.

• How has your relationship with food changed, if at all? Related, do you still enjoy eating or, currently, is food just something you must consume to sustain life?
  

I love food. I wish I could eat more of it sometimes :-) I have settled in to loving the things that I can eat that are mostly good for me and keep my tummy from hurting. I eat a little cheese every day. I eat meat every day. I eat at least one serving of green veg every day. I have started eating alittle bread, but it hurts my stomach so I can't eat too much of it. I still can't eat more than one piece of pizza, if I include the crust - but then I get heartburn or my tummy is painfully full, so I don't eat pizza very often.

• Compared to the type of hunger pains you had experienced pre-surgically, while on a calorie-restricted diet, how would you rate the degree and quality of your hunger pains now after the surgery? That is, do you still feel hunger pains and, if so, how is your hunger drive different now than it was before the surgery?
  

I still have no hunger pains. I get an "empty" feeling when I am hungry. It is more of a low blood sugar feeling (speedy, woozy, lack of focus). My tummy rumbles from acid, but not from hunger pains. In fact, I keep forgetting that I used to have that sensation - it's just completely different now.

Maybe I'm lucky. Maybe becuase I was low BMI when I started, I don't have the same experince post-op. I can say that I could gain weight if I was totally out of control. The sleeve buys me a little more control in my daily habits. I have had some very dark emotional times this last 6 months that has lead me to drink a lot and have zero focus on what I was eating. I was trying to lose a couple of pounds when my world started falling apart and it was working very well. My lack of focus only cost me about 5 pounds - even through the holidays.

Good luck to everyone.

Thank you sooo much for your post! I have been going through a lot of therapy to address emotional eating as well. I recently came across a therapy called EMDR. I have made LEAPS AND BOUNDS with this therapy and it has helped me more than talk therapy- actually there has been no comparison. Talk therapy never helped me in the past and man I sure did a lot of it and spent $$$$!!!!!!! Your post is soooo important to all of us- thank you for sharing and may you grab the bull by its horns again!!!!

I'm pre-op and started therapy to get a jump start on my emotional eating. I am just starting EMDR and I'm so glad to hear that it helped you. My eating is tied emotions stemming from abuse so I'm hoping this therapy helps me. I have an amazing therapist and she is really helping me so much already. VGS will help with the physical restriction of eating but not why I eat - that is what can lead me right back here even after surgery.

Another great tool is Emotional Freedom Technique, or EFT, sometimes referred to as "tapping." It's benefit lies in self-administration, rather than requiring a counselor to help. Having a counselor + EFT is a winning combination! I took a workshop where the teacher had us "tap" to reduce craving for our favorite but restricted food. Believe it or not, I left for the day without taking my foil wrapped piece of chocolate with me.

Hi,

I, too, am one of those who rarely visits the site or posts after more than three years post-surgery but, tonight, out of curiousity felt compelled to see how others are getting on (I recognise a few old faces who were with me on my sleeve journey 4 years ago this summer).

I have gained nearly 42lbs in 2.5 years. 12 months out I weighed about 187lbs and this was the lowest I got to. Gradually, the weight has crept back on and I have been dieting and exercising on and off in a desperate attempt to gain some control.

I don't think I ever fully will though. I struggled from day 1 and never ever had the feelings of fullness that others reported. I did really well for about 8 months post-op and then it just got harder and harder. I went back to my old 'ways' of drinking and bingeing and it is only now that I really have come to recognise that I have a serious psychological issue with eating. I binge, even with my sleeve, and make myself sick with it. I do it more when I am on my own and when my husband cannot make comment. It's something I feel I can do when no one is around. It's stupid. And to think that I have been through 2 bariatric surgeries and 2 hernia surgeries makes it all the more stupid.

I'm trying to gain control again and have started back at the gym. I'm logging my foods once more in a serious attempt to lose the weight again. I think I also need to look at some kind of CBT as well in order to try and recognise and address the psychological issues I have.

/Thanks for sharing as it is very insightful!!!

Bornagainbabe, Nikki & everyone else out there whose having problems with weight gain- I want to express my sincere "thanks & gratitude" for sharing your stories. So often we hear about the success stories & no one is brave enough to talk about their struggles. I knew that this wouldn't be an easy journey. I appreciate you stepping forward & take comfort in knowing there are people to share my strengths & weaknesses with. Although I am only 4 mos out, I have had my fair share of ups & downs. This concerns me that the road ahead is going to be a bumpy one, one i have traveled many times. Many do not know this but I'm ready to share, in hopes this may help someone else. I am a bulimic, once getting down to 102 lbs. I went to therapy for years.. Ive got a grip on my disease, at the moment. I later found out it caused a condition known as gastroperesis (stomach paralysis). I eventually gained weight over the years but it's so easy to let food have a powerful hold on me & my weight climbed up to 180. Due to comorbidities & the gastroperesis I had VSG. I am currently off most meds, know what I need to do, but still struggle daily with a never ending battle within myself. You can overcome your inner demons by taking one step at a time. I wish each & every one of you the best of luck in your journey & take comfort in knowing we are here for each other.

Thanks for sharing! Many of us have the demons that get to us and are in counseling. Glad you are making progress in your journey!!

I'm pre-op and started therapy to get a jump start on my emotional eating. I am just starting EMDR and I'm so glad to hear that it helped you. My eating is tied emotions stemming from abuse so I'm hoping this therapy helps me. I have an amazing therapist and she is really helping me so much already. VGS will help with the physical restriction of eating but not why I eat - that is what can lead me right back here even after surgery.

Hey Jen! I'm totally intrigued by EMDR. what have you thought about it so far?

Hey Jen! I'm totally intrigued by EMDR. what have you thought about it so far?

I just started so really I've only had one session. The research I did prior showed great results for trama and PTSD suffers. It is supposed to work much quicker than just talk therapy and it reorganizes your thoughts, etc. related to the trama. For me, I have a lot of untrue emotions and beliefs about myself (I'm worthless/helpless/alone, etc) related to the abuse that lead to emotional eating.

I went in with an open mind and I was pretty amazed at the emotions that came up in just that hour session. Prior to this session we worked on establishing a "safe" place (for me it's the beach) and I used the last week to practice visualizing that as a relaxation technique. During my session, she had me think about the tramatic experience (the emotions I was feeling, the physical sensations, etc.) while she moved her hand from side to side and I tracked her hand with my eyes. Every 20-30 seconds, she had me take a deep breath and update her with my emotional/physical feelings. At one point I actually felt panic and the physical feeling of being unable to run away (very strange). At the end she had me visualize putting all this "stuff" in a box and locking it up and leaving it in her office for next time so I don't dwell on in outside of our sessions. Then I visualized my safe place until I was calm and relaxed. The rest of the day I was kind of down, I think because my mind was still processing things. It's intense, but worth it if it's effective. I'll know more about that as time goes on.

That's really great. I'm so intrigued. Would love to hear down the road how you think it is, after you've done it a while.

Hi all!

I want to share my story because I feel like things are "hopeless" again like they did all of those years I had been dieting prior to having my gastric sleeve.

I was sleeved in September of 2010 by Dr. Aceves in Mexicali. I had a wonderful experience there and would do it again in a heartbeat. In fact' date=' I feel like I may need to do it again since the weight gain has started.

I started at 240 lbs and the lowest weight I got to, which was last year at this same time, was 150 lbs. At that time, I stuidly felt like I was losing too much weight, as I wanted to stay curvy, so a friend of mine who has had the lap band, suggested I find something high calorie to substitute my daily intake with so I was getting enough calories to not lose any more weight.

Being an emotional eater, this should have been a huge red flag for me, but here was an excuse for me to overindulge, so I took it. cheese was what worked for me. I ate a lot of cheese.. sometimes, nothing but cheese once I figured out it would go down easy. After that I moved onto processed crackers and Cookies, again, things that go down easily without getting full and without getting the sick feeling.

I weighed myself yesterday and I'm back up to 167 lbs. Two months ago I was at 163 lbs, so i'm rapidly climbing back up the scale.

I do go to the gym, was twice a week, but in the last two weeks i've bumped it up to 3 times a week. I do strength training with weights and cardio. I am fairly active on the weekends, as I am fortunate enough to live in an area where everything is either walking or biking distance.

The problem is, and i'm suspecting this will be most of our problem here on this site, is that we are emotional eaters. And it was great at first with the sleeve because you literally could not eat anything.. .or you were so afraid to eat anything that you just wouldn't eat it in fear of getting "that feeling" (you all know what i'm talking about).

I can take the literature and read it over and over... my doctor can send me emails and tell me what to do (eat your Protein first, dont snack, etc). In a perfect world, if I could do that, then I wouldn't have needed to have weight loss surgery in the first place. My brain tells me to eat for comfort, eat when you're happy, eat when you're sad, eat to Celebrate.... and the hard part is, now that I've figured out what I can eat with the sleeve, its becoming more and more difficult to overcome this feeling.

I have been in therapy for about 8 years trying to overcome this emotional eating issue, but its so easy to go back to what we know, rather than change it. Not making excuses... i'm just reaching out to others who may have the same feelings and eating disorder as I do... and maybe if we can get rid of that shame we feel by sharing with each other, we can overcome this need to eat to stuff our emotions. Because I do feel very shameful that I paid all of this money, risked my life in Mexico to have this surgery done... and now i'm sabotaging myself and undoing the very thing that I've wanted my entire life... to be thin and "normal". Whatever normal is...

If you haven't had the sleeve yet, please, make sure you get in tune with yourself with regard to the emotional eating, becuase although the first year or so of the weight loss is great! If you dont get your disorder under control, it will all come back, eventually.

I said at the beginning of this post that I feel hopeless, but by letting me share here, I do feel a little more hopeful than I did when I started writing this.

Thank you for listening.

Nikki[/quote']

Hi Nikki , this is Carmel, I had my surgery 14 months ago, also the sleeve. I started off @ 287 lbs got down to 198 in November and am now 204. It's so hard I've been eating junk food like crazy!!! Finances n loneliness is my problem. I can't stop eating sweets. I've been working out, even have a personal trainer. I need to lose 24 lbsGreetings so right now I think we only have one student that would be in a research project so I think we will be skipping it this session. Let me know if you are interested in doing some mock interviews in morning on May 9th? If you and your friend could do it that would be great. We have some great flashcards with really relevant questions. We want them to get constructive criticism about how they carried themselves or how they answered the questions. Let me know if you are interested.--Te

Hi all!

I want to share my story because I feel like things are "hopeless" again like they did all of those years I had been dieting prior to having my gastric sleeve.

I was sleeved in September of 2010 by Dr. Aceves in Mexicali. I had a wonderful experience there and would do it again in a heartbeat. In fact' date=' I feel like I may need to do it again since the weight gain has started.

I started at 240 lbs and the lowest weight I got to, which was last year at this same time, was 150 lbs. At that time, I stuidly felt like I was losing too much weight, as I wanted to stay curvy, so a friend of mine who has had the lap band, suggested I find something high calorie to substitute my daily intake with so I was getting enough calories to not lose any more weight.

Being an emotional eater, this should have been a huge red flag for me, but here was an excuse for me to overindulge, so I took it. cheese was what worked for me. I ate a lot of cheese.. sometimes, nothing but cheese once I figured out it would go down easy. After that I moved onto processed crackers and Cookies, again, things that go down easily without getting full and without getting the sick feeling.

I weighed myself yesterday and I'm back up to 167 lbs. Two months ago I was at 163 lbs, so i'm rapidly climbing back up the scale.

I do go to the gym, was twice a week, but in the last two weeks i've bumped it up to 3 times a week. I do strength training with weights and cardio. I am fairly active on the weekends, as I am fortunate enough to live in an area where everything is either walking or biking distance.

The problem is, and i'm suspecting this will be most of our problem here on this site, is that we are emotional eaters. And it was great at first with the sleeve because you literally could not eat anything.. .or you were so afraid to eat anything that you just wouldn't eat it in fear of getting "that feeling" (you all know what i'm talking about).

I can take the literature and read it over and over... my doctor can send me emails and tell me what to do (eat your Protein first, dont snack, etc). In a perfect world, if I could do that, then I wouldn't have needed to have weight loss surgery in the first place. My brain tells me to eat for comfort, eat when you're happy, eat when you're sad, eat to celebrate.... and the hard part is, now that I've figured out what I can eat with the sleeve, its becoming more and more difficult to overcome this feeling.

I have been in therapy for about 8 years trying to overcome this emotional eating issue, but its so easy to go back to what we know, rather than change it. Not making excuses... i'm just reaching out to others who may have the same feelings and eating disorder as I do... and maybe if we can get rid of that shame we feel by sharing with each other, we can overcome this need to eat to stuff our emotions. Because I do feel very shameful that I paid all of this money, risked my life in Mexico to have this surgery done... and now i'm sabotaging myself and undoing the very thing that I've wanted my entire life... to be thin and "normal". Whatever normal is...

If you haven't had the sleeve yet, please, make sure you get in tune with yourself with regard to the emotional eating, becuase although the first year or so of the weight loss is great! If you dont get your disorder under control, it will all come back, eventually.

I said at the beginning of this post that I feel hopeless, but by letting me share here, I do feel a little more hopeful than I did when I started writing this.

Thank you for listening.

Nikki[/quote']

Part of that text was an email to me, don't know how it got attached to what I was sharing with u!

bump for later....

It is not easy that's for sure. Even with the sleeve restricting our portions, it's very easy to graze and get out of control. I hate that it's a life long battle!

Both my NUT and SUR made it VERY clear to me that I would have to be diligent and live a healthy lifestyle for the rest of my life. Both had stories about people who had lost the weight but didn't keep it off.

Hi, Mason

As Doxieville said in the quote above, both my surgeon and my NUT were also very clear about that with me, as well. Additionally, several of the people who work at my weight loss clinic have also had some form of bariatric surgery and have been very up front about their experiences - good and bad - with it. I was actually rather surprised when you said that three different surgeons didn't talk about that during your consultations, since my surgeon brought it up without me asking.

My NUT and I have talked about the need for this to be a sustainable lifestyle change several times over the last several months. I can't think of one of our monthly meetings

where it wasn't some part of the conversation. It was always clearly established when we were talking about short term behaviors for early post surgery vs. long term life changes that would need to carry on into the future.

I an going through a "Bariatric Center of Excellence" that also provides a lot of follow-up care and support groups post-surgery. I wonder if that has any impact on the difference in experience.

This has been so good to read. I am 27 months out from surgery. Up 3 to 5 lbs off and on. Have been doing well til just recently.. Struggling with body image of not getting to "goal". Your mind can be your worst enemy at times. You have to educate yourself continuously. Emotions run wild unless controlled with understanding. Thanks again. We all need each other. Not enough here talking 2 yrs out.