Hi all!

I want to share my story because I feel like things are "hopeless" again like they did all of those years I had been dieting prior to having my gastric sleeve.

I was sleeved in September of 2010 by Dr. Aceves in Mexicali. I had a wonderful experience there and would do it again in a heartbeat. In fact, I feel like I may need to do it again since the weight gain has started.

I started at 240 lbs and the lowest weight I got to, which was last year at this same time, was 150 lbs. At that time, I stuidly felt like I was losing too much weight, as I wanted to stay curvy, so a friend of mine who has had the lap band, suggested I find something high calorie to substitute my daily intake with so I was getting enough calories to not lose any more weight.

Being an emotional eater, this should have been a huge red flag for me, but here was an excuse for me to overindulge, so I took it. cheese was what worked for me. I ate a lot of cheese.. sometimes, nothing but cheese once I figured out it would go down easy. After that I moved onto processed crackers and Cookies, again, things that go down easily without getting full and without getting the sick feeling.

I weighed myself yesterday and I'm back up to 167 lbs. Two months ago I was at 163 lbs, so i'm rapidly climbing back up the scale.

I do go to the gym, was twice a week, but in the last two weeks i've bumped it up to 3 times a week. I do strength training with weights and cardio. I am fairly active on the weekends, as I am fortunate enough to live in an area where everything is either walking or biking distance.

The problem is, and i'm suspecting this will be most of our problem here on this site, is that we are emotional eaters. And it was great at first with the sleeve because you literally could not eat anything.. .or you were so afraid to eat anything that you just wouldn't eat it in fear of getting "that feeling" (you all know what i'm talking about).

I can take the literature and read it over and over... my doctor can send me emails and tell me what to do (eat your Protein first, dont snack, etc). In a perfect world, if I could do that, then I wouldn't have needed to have weight loss surgery in the first place. My brain tells me to eat for comfort, eat when you're happy, eat when you're sad, eat to Celebrate.... and the hard part is, now that I've figured out what I can eat with the sleeve, its becoming more and more difficult to overcome this feeling.

I have been in therapy for about 8 years trying to overcome this emotional eating issue, but its so easy to go back to what we know, rather than change it. Not making excuses... i'm just reaching out to others who may have the same feelings and eating disorder as I do... and maybe if we can get rid of that shame we feel by sharing with each other, we can overcome this need to eat to stuff our emotions. Because I do feel very shameful that I paid all of this money, risked my life in Mexico to have this surgery done... and now i'm sabotaging myself and undoing the very thing that I've wanted my entire life... to be thin and "normal". Whatever normal is...

If you haven't had the sleeve yet, please, make sure you get in tune with yourself with regard to the emotional eating, becuase although the first year or so of the weight loss is great! If you dont get your disorder under control, it will all come back, eventually.

I said at the beginning of this post that I feel hopeless, but by letting me share here, I do feel a little more hopeful than I did when I started writing this.

Thank you for listening.

Nikki

Well grab the bull by the horns, get back on the wagon, you havent gained enough to freak out. Just go back to the basics......protein first, eating slow, you know the drill. You are only human.....and imperfect. If you let it go farther then you could be in real trouble, nip it now!

You got this!

OMG - FINALLY!!!!

Hey Nikki,

I am pre-op and asked about this type of situation in the forum twice and no one answered. I am guessing its the "elephant in the room" situation. So I have to thank you - with all of my heart for this posting.

I am an emotional eater and am getting sleeved in February. I know I can lose the weight but also know my emotions are stronger than my will power (hence me being 314lbs). I was hoping that the surgery would help me get down to my goal weight and my emotions become controllable with help from a therapist.

Now the reality of how hard it will be to maintain is out there, I will work from now to seek professional help.

Thanks again Nikki!

Also, I believe that you will get through this! You were strong enough to head to Mexicali, get active, and drop the weight. You are strong enough to get back on track and pull yourself over this hurdle!

Hugs!

Lezzie..

i'm happy to help. I haven't written anything on this board since I joined prior to surgery...I'm not really the "group" type of person I suppose. But feels good to get it out there. Good luck to you! The sleeve will be the best thing you have ever done for yourself. But the 2nd best thing is going to therapy, work on those emotional eating issues, because you will need it. You'll be all set for the first year or two and then BAM you can eat again... again, good luck and i'm happy to have been able to help answer some of your questions. Let me know how it goes...

You have the first.tool you need to get this under control. you have recognized you are eating out of emotion. Now you need to ask yourself am I really hungry or is it something else. If you aren't really hungry pick up a book or find something to get you mind busy. Give yourself at least 10 minutes and drink a glass of.water. Also find a support buddy that you can text or call to help you get past the food crisis. It will really.help.

And that's why even something this drastic isn't a cure all. One of the things that was hammered in to my head from the start was that if I wanted to I could completely sabotage myself. Right now, it's pretty easy not to, but down the line once I can actually eat? Yeah, it'll be there. One of my biggest fears is that I'll do everything right and it still won't work.

Hi Nikki,

Thank you so much for sharing this. It was very helpful to me.

If you haven't had the sleeve yet, please, make sure you get in tune with yourself with regard to the emotional eating, because although the first year or so of the weight loss is great! If you don't get your disorder under control, it will all come back, eventually.

I have always eaten food for the taste of it, not to satisfy hunger. Consequently, I have consistently overeaten my entire life.

I believe that you are entirely right in that unless I establish an entirely different relationship with food after the surgery than I have now, I will eventually gain the weight back: According to what my surgeon told me, 20 percent of all bariatric surgery patients do.

The fact that you are able to identify your food issues has to be 90 percent of the battle. Keep at it and treat this slight detour as a warning sign instead of a failure.

I'm rooting for you. Just get back on track.

Thanks again for sharing. I took everything you wrote to heart and will take heed.

Thank you sooo much for your post! I have been going through a lot of therapy to address emotional eating as well. I recently came across a therapy called EMDR. I have made LEAPS AND BOUNDS with this therapy and it has helped me more than talk therapy- actually there has been no comparison. Talk therapy never helped me in the past and man I sure did a lot of it and spent $$$$!!!!!!! Your post is soooo important to all of us- thank you for sharing and may you grab the bull by its horns again!!!!

This is pretty scarey but you can stop the weight gain right now and go back to eating Protein first and then some veggies. I do highly recommend that you get back to therapy and work on those negative thoughts in your head to curve this cycle. You are not at a loss, this is just a learning lesson that we all must learn..... Here is a copy of LilMissDiva's "The Basic Bootcamp Diet" that will get the sugar out of your system, to abort the sweet cravings.......BTW i don't believe 150 lbs is where your going to stop, so let your body do the work it is suppose too. Eat under 1200 calories a day. You can do this.. Here is the plan:

The BASICS BOOTCAMP:

For 5 STRICT DAYS I will eat only...

Proteins: Seafoods, Poultry and eggs, Dairies, nuts/seeds including Peanut Butter.

Veggies: Green only.

Fruits: None.

Breads/Cereals/Other Carbs: None.

Fluids: One gallon of Water (128 oz.) or Protein drinks.

Avoid: Sugar and Sodium

Once the 5 days are over, I am pretty much over the Sugar Carb Demon. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate carbs! I do need them to live a healthy life and since I workout a lot it is important I have them. However, I need GOOD carbs. Whole grains, fruits, veggies... But I don't need processed sugars. White carbs, in cereals, breads, rice... etc.

^{thanks for sharing! I am worried about this also. I have surgery Feb 7th. I have a couple of friends that have had the surgery and they are gaining weight because they can still eat the chips, cookies, etc... with out any issues but get sick when they eat meals. I am like that now before surgery so i am really worried about that after surgery. I usually get sick after eating a meal but I can eat chips, cookies, cake with no problem. It's crazy, I am trying to cut all the junk food out now before surgery so it wont be so hard after. Good luck with your journey keep working hard!}

These are excellent thoughts to share with everyone. I think there are far too many people that dive into the sleeve looking for a magic pill and throw reality out the window and then say "WHAT HAPPENED??" No internal issues were dealt with, not enough questions were asked of the surgeon, and they do not fully understand the whole process. I'm glad you've shared this.

That said- one thing you can do right now while you're getting your head straight- hit the gym at least FIVE days a week and do cardio for at LEAST 30 minutes at as high a level as you can. That will help peel some of it back off.

You have already started the process, you have realized what the problem is.....you can do this! Best of luck, keep us posted on how you are doing! Hugs!

I really appreciate your post because a lot of it sounds familiar to me. I have only lost about 38% of my excess weight and at this point I am 15 months out. I was going great and then had a plateau which frustrated me and I fell off the wagon somewhat. I have gained about 10 lbs back but a few days ago decided to get back on track and what has helped me is to write down what I am going to eat for the next day the night before. I write in exactly what foods I am going to have and it has surprising helped me to be less impulsive about eating. When I look in the cabinet or fridge for something and see something else that I'd rather eat, I think "that is not on my plan so I can't eat it". That little step has helped me get more in control and I am down 2 lbs in the last 3 days. I wish you the best of luck on this journey!

Big hugs coming from me to you! I know this is a lifetime battle. We see it in gastric bypass patients and we are going to see it in sleevers too now that VSG is becoming more popular. THE GOOD NEWS IS..you haven't gained much back. You can still get your weight back down! IF you must eat a bit of cheese--eat it with some protein like ham or turkey slices--or maybe with some beef jerky or something protein based. We all know that dense protein fills us up fast and keeps us full longer. That sounds like maybe something you need to reincorporate back into your plan. Don't beat yourself up. It's just a bump in the road and you can get back on track!! Wishing you all the best

Hi Nikki;

At two years out plus myself, I applaude you for your courage to speak.

Today I have learned how to "trick" my sleeve and get a lot more in than what I should. Now when I need to "lose" weight I kill myself for several weeks to get off one or two pounds which I see come back quickly. Wish I could say I'm stuck but not ready to give up knowing I could be happier with 5 lbs off me.

With a lower caloric intake as the new normal, it does take longer time frame to lose that excess weight. This is not like taking off pounds after surgery. My hunger came back at around 18 months (not everyone returns...lucky me.) While I am still under surgeons goal, I am 10 pounds above my lowest weight. Yes, I am still in a normal BMI range but the scale is stuck. So I am one size larger than at my smallest.

Nice that others advise to eat slowly, or Protein first...heck, I eat like I did before just in less volume. Think pre sleeve. My brain or emotions want food. The brain is a powerful thing, wiser than most of give credit to our emotional eating habits. I eat because I simply love to eat.

So today I still obsess over food, but I have tool to limit my intake. Still, I love my sleeve and have no regrets.

Hugs to you Nikki...nominate you as my hero today.