Can't Shake The Depression

[ljperez 87]

9 weeks out feeling worse. I should be happy but I'm not. I feel like I miss my fat. (Not that I'm skinny). I just miss the old me. I'm not as strong and family is giving me a hard time. I feel like I just want to be alone all the time and sleep. I push myself because I have to. I know I only have 6-8 months before my sleeve slows down or stops whatever it is but its a strugle every day. I feel so stupid. I can't seem to even except a compliment I brush it all off. I'm working out, that clears my head but as soon as I'm done it comes back. Even though I've always been overweight I have always worked out so this is not different. I'm down a total of 48 lb 35 since surgery. I feel like I'm going to fail all the time.

I do speak to a therapist once a week for anxiety but this is so different. I've talked to her about it but I thought you guys might be feeling the same way and it might just be part of the process.

[deekaspor 89]

You are not alone and you said it...you miss the old you. Getting use to so much can be difficult. Give yourself time and enjoy your success of weight loss. Feel free to e-mail me for support and encouragment.

[newgrandmother 725]

i went through the same thing as you two days ago i posted about it. i know how you feel and you are not alone. i too feel like im going to fail. i feel a little down today when to get my pressure checked and it was elevated and the 5lbs i lost well 3 are back and didnt do anything wrong. ive battled depression and anxiety for years and i am fighting it right now because i dont want to go back to that dark place. WHY ARENT WE HAPPY. your results are awesome you are doing an awesome job but i completely understand. hang in there and keep posting

[DianaE 128]

Not sure what sort of hard time your family is giving you but you should clear that up and set boundaries. They need to help you not hinder you. Seeing a therapist is one of the best things you are doing right now. Most of us have emotional issues tied to our weight. I have always brushed off compliments. I dont feel deserving.. This is why I have a counselor. The weight coming off of me is not going to magically fix me. So yes, I have been there and will probably be there again. This ride is a roller coaster but I am so looking forward to being 120 lbs lighter Hang in there and try to surround your self with positive helpful people

[Territravel 217]

It seems depression is a common side effect for weight loss surgery. Something about losing weight, and how your hormonal balance shifts. Think positive, pray and continue to see your therapist. It will get better.

[E-girl 98]

I am soooo sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time. I think most people go through a little of what you are experiencing. I had regrets for the first 6 months. I couldn't really talk about it with anyone because I didn't want people (friends and family) to say "I told you so!" When I spoke to my sugeon and NUT, they said part of it is the changes and mourning of food and part of it will be from changes in mood due to the sudden weight loss (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/gastric-bypass/MY00825/METHOD=print).

　

My best friend has bypass and she said she was depressed for about 12 month after having the surgery. Even though she looked great and lost 100+ lbs, she said it took her a long time to except the new eating life style. She really didn't have anyone who could relate to what she was going through because 10 years ago there weren't as many resources.

　

For me, it was 6 months. When I finally got into a small shirt and 4 pants, I realized that I couldn't change the past...I couldn't undue what I have done...I can only go forward. It's now 9 months. I can't say that I don't feel bad every once in awhile but its not everyday any more.

You have to remember this is a huge change for us. You are trying to re-learn how to eat and live healthy after years of bad habits, which is not easy but soon you will see the rewards. When you are feeling bad, try to think about the reasons why your did it in the first place and think about all the cool new things you are going to be able to do that you couldn't do before. In 6 months, your family and friends aren't going to recognize you. Blog about how you feel, if you don't have anyone close to talk too...believe me you are soooooo not alone.

[ByeByefatgirl. 82]

9 weeks out feeling worse. I should be happy but I'm not. I feel like I miss my fat. (Not that I'm skinny). I just miss the old me. I'm not as strong and family is giving me a hard time. I feel like I just want to be alone all the time and sleep. I push myself because I have to. I know I only have 6-8 months before my sleeve slows down or stops whatever it is but its a strugle every day. I feel so stupid. I can't seem to even except a compliment I brush it all off. I'm working out, that clears my head but as soon as I'm done it comes back. Even though I've always been overweight I have always worked out so this is not different. I'm down a total of 48 lb 35 since surgery. I feel like I'm going to fail all the time.

I do speak to a therapist once a week for anxiety but this is so different. I've talked to her about it but I thought you guys might be feeling the same way and it might just be part of the process.

I hope that your therapist can help you. I haven't been sleeved yet, but i know that once the weight come off I will be battling the same thins that you are. Especially the missing the weight ,the old you and not being as strong. I think about that all the time, but when I look in the mirror i don't like what I see. i see how much weight I put on I'm at the highest weight I've ever been 273 and i'm 40 years old. I believe WLS will give me some of my confidence back. So when you're feeling depressed, just look in the mirror. See how beautiful you are. GO buy new clothes, get your hair and nails done and hit the town. have fun. I plan to.

[Alithinos 19]

Echoing everyone else here... I'm 10 weeks out and have been taking 5 mg of Lexapro each day since a month before surgery in an effort to avoid having anxiety and depression issues. Glad to say that I've been successful so far. The Johns Hopkins psychologist warned me that people who have dealt with anxiety often experience a heightening of their symptoms after surgery. You're doing well by talking to your therapist. Does exercise help you? Does your therapist recommend medication?

Come to think of it, I haven't taken my Lexapro in a couple days and am definitely a bit cranky tonight. Also, I'm only 36 lbs down, so you're really doing well with weight loss. I am down two sizes and finally had to break down and buy new pants and bras. That felt pretty good... I'm of the opinion that slow loss is fine as long as I'm still losing. Don't beat yourself up. You will be fine.

[Banned member 320]

I've been a emotional wreck since surgery and my husband has been my biggest support. I was talking to him today about me not being able to use food as a coping mechanism and not it's all flooding out. He's very understanding and over the past couple of weeks I've learned how to talk about whats upsetting me instead of trying to eat my emotions away. It is getting better everyday but I'm still learning how to cope. I will also admit that I'm scared to be skinny and all the attention it will bring. As much as I hate being fat, I'm scared of the unknown (being skinny). I'm not depressed but I do get anxious about the journey to losing weight. Maybe this is why I failed at weight loss attempts in the past, I was scared of having to face the issues that I have kept buried with food.

[ljperez 87]

Thank you everyone. I am glad I'm not alone. It's so hard to put into words the way I feel but I see you guys get it. It just feels like if I loose all the weight then I might put it back like always. It's so hard to think of how life will be without being able to hide behind the weight. I already see it with my boss giving me a gift card to macy's for 200.00 and is expecting me to come in looking like Barbie or something. I never realized how much I hid behind my weight. I am not an out front person I like to be alone. The family issue is another thing. I am trying to work on that but with 3 teenage girls that I have done everthing for and now want to do something for myself is really tough.

Thanks again I love this sight.

[Fiddleman 4,376]

9 weeks out feeling worse. I should be happy but I'm not. I feel like I miss my fat. (Not that I'm skinny). I just miss the old me. I'm not as strong and family is giving me a hard time. I feel like I just want to be alone all the time and sleep. I push myself because I have to. I know I only have 6-8 months before my sleeve slows down or stops whatever it is but its a strugle every day. I feel so stupid. I can't seem to even except a compliment I brush it all off. I'm working out' date=' that clears my head but as soon as I'm done it comes back. Even though I've always been overweight I have always worked out so this is not different. I'm down a total of 48 lb 35 since surgery. I feel like I'm going to fail all the time.

I do speak to a therapist once a week for anxiety but this is so different. I've talked to her about it but I thought you guys might be feeling the same way and it might just be part of the process.[/quote']

I understand. It took m really about 3.5 months to accept the new me in private, in social situations, eating, exercising, naked and more. I am also still taking an antidepressant from pre surgery just because I need to work with my PCP to taper it. I stopped my therapy sessions after around 3 months. It takes time for your mind to catch up with everything that is you. And I mean everything. I had something funny occur to me two weeks go here I o longer recognized myself in childhood pictures ( my wife got a kick out of that). I really don't identify with my pre sleeve photos any longer. It took Tim to get to that point. I don't feel like that person any more and it is almost fading away as the loss of your previous dogs/cats fade away over time. Time heals, but you have to get to the point where you accept you for what you have become nd not what you were. It is a little like finding religion. The old self must die in your mind.