Scared Can't Stop Cleaning

[ljperez 87]

I'm getting really scared. My sleeve is set for Wednesday and I feel like I need to get everything done before tomorrow. I'm Freaking out that I'm not prepared. I have posted before that I don't have much support here at home because my family doesn't want me to have it. Well my 2 youngest have come around but my oldest and my husband haven't. I've made all the arrangements for the younger ones to stay with friends and they are fine with it. They are 16 and 13. My oldest is in Europe until Sunday so that's not bad but I'm worried when everyone gets home. I hope I can be up and about by Sunday. Also I'm so scared I'm going to die and it will be all my fault (I'm catholic hence guilt). I know nobody wants to hear that but I really haven't been afraid until now. I'm rambling Sorry.

[Justine13 264]

Oh I know all about that guilt

You, my dear, sound like you've done nothing but take care of others and now it's your turn. Heck with the house. You've got a husband and old enough children to help out. Time to take care of you. I fear that (and this is the therapist part of me because inevitably I can't control it) that this care taking business needs to be addressed maybe?

I also being nervous is very normal. I don't want to be the bearer of bad news but it sounds like your family is perfectly capable of carjn for themselves and YOU for a little while

[ShrinkyDinkMe22 376]

i am sure all will turn out great! good luck wednesday

[Fun size 62]

Of course you're afraid. It's surgery. But just think you've given birth to three kids and this is way easier and safer than childbirth. And the results will bring you a healthy,happier future. If you did your homework (and I'm sure you did) you know the first few days could be a little tough. But you are strong and you will do fine. You made this decision for you. If your family doesn't support you, so be it. You need to support you. You know what it's felt like fighting the obesity beast. It's much more painful than anyone else knows. Those who aren't with you are just worried about you. They will be so happy for you when you are more fit and healthy. Good thoughts and prayers going your way.

[ljperez 87]

Thank you so much I have been doing my research and thanks for your thoughts. I am doing this for myself my kids are bigger and its time. All the diet all the exercise and I'm still fat. I just want to be normal once and not look at a picture and see this huge head and huge arms. I know I'm ready just getting really scared. I can't wait to feel nothing with the anesthesia and get it over with.

[Guest deleted_user]

I also had no support. My parents didn't think I'm obese enough to go to such an extreme. I, myself, thought I will somehow flake and go home without having surgery. It didn't hit me that I am really doing this till I was taken away from my family and asked to put the surgery gown on. I was scared for two weeks before surgery and unable to get any sleep... But I was up and walking 3 hours after surgery. I even battled with thoughts that getting this surgery is self mutilation but God doesn't judge us that way. He loves us more than we can ever image and He knows the struggles on our heart!

The best thing you can do now is to be a 100% ready for this, no doubt or fear or guilt! When you are mentally ready and not doubting the decision yourself, your body will respond well during surgery (not as much internal bleeding) and will heal much faster! I know this because I had a minor complication. Don't let that scare you though, I was definitely not mentally ready and I am doing perfectly fine now 3 weeks out -- Just a little acid reflux and I have faith that it will go away soon.

Please update us as soon as you're able after surgery. I added you as a friend and I'm looking forward to following your journey.

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6)

[thinnatater 36]

So proud of you for doing something for you! Know that all of us here on the board are here to support you as much as we can!

Good luck n please let us know how it all goes

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

The family is going to survive whether or not you have this procedure. This is a good opportunity for them to do something for you and help you in your time of need. The oldest one can also help out when he/she gets home. They need these skills to survive when they are out on their own. They can even help with cleaning up the house. Now if your getting nervous then it's a great ideal to keep yourself busy, bc you can't be anxious and busy at the same time. Best of luck and now it's your time to take care of you. Skinniness is awesome!

[traceyinflorida 499]

I am going to give you the same advice my mom gave me when I was feeling guilty about having this surgery because of my kids and husband who need me (hubby is disabled in a wheelchair, so I had to plan for care for him). You have been doing for them for all of their life. Everyone will survive a couple of weeks of having to do for themselves and even for you. As a matter of fact, they may benefit from it because they will learn to appreciate all you do for them. There is no perfect time, so you have to make the time for yourself and take care of you. Everything else will fall into place. Tomorrow you need to sit down with your family and let them know what you need from them. You will need them to find rides, or get hubby to drive them. They will need to kick in a bit with the house work and cooking. They will need to let you rest for the next two weeks. Set the expectations now and then if you are feeling good, you can do more, but for now make sure they plan for you to be resting.

As for being nervous, that is totally normal. I was completely freaked out. But it was the best thing I ever did for myself. Oh and my family survived! My son surprised me by being very caring and accomodating. My daughter surprised me by being angry at how it put her out, but she is fifteen and going through a slightly self absorbed phase, so I tried not to let it bother me too much. My husband discovered that other people can help him with the things he needs. I had hired a patient aid for the mornings and my mom and dad helped him the rest of the day. I kept the aid for the first three days I was home from the hospital to help him get around in the morning so that I would not have to do the hard stuff while I was recouperating. I am glad I listened to my mom and took the time to do this for myself. I think you will be too.

Good luck with all. Cleaning your house is a good way to keep your mind off of things, but don't fret if everything does not get done. It can wait. Take care of you!!

[lifechanges 3]

I'm getting really scared. My sleeve is set for Wednesday and I feel like I need to get everything done before tomorrow. I'm Freaking out that I'm not prepared. I have posted before that I don't have much support here at home because my family doesn't want me to have it. Well my 2 youngest have come around but my oldest and my husband haven't. I've made all the arrangements for the younger ones to stay with friends and they are fine with it. They are 16 and 13. My oldest is in Europe until Sunday so that's not bad but I'm worried when everyone gets home. I hope I can be up and about by Sunday. Also I'm so scared I'm going to die and it will be all my fault (I'm catholic hence guilt). I know nobody wants to hear that but I really haven't been afraid until now. I'm rambling Sorry.

I was up and back at it before the week was over. I guess I deal with it a bit better but was only off work for 1 week.

[joyful noise 101]

Yes, it is time to take care of you. I haven't gotten to "cleaning" yet, but I have made some meals and froze them to hold them over and am teaching my oldest daughter to cook. She never wanted to learn before. Other than cleaning out the refrigerator for last minute no-no's, I am not going to do more than dust.

I went to the Farmer's Market and did some canning over the weekend. I usually do my canning just before the holidays; I just want to take time for me. I have no intention of going shopping until I feel comfortable. They can fend for themselves.

[thinnatater 36]

Hope everything went well with your surgery! Please keep in touch!

[ljperez 87]

I'm alive tired drinking ok trying to get in the protien just really tired. Thanks to everyone

[Peggylou 44]

yeah!! you did it.. Im happy for you!! Hoping your family is being supportive!

[Peazwithin 6]

I identify with you so much (cleaning like crazy! ), but I think so many here have said it best, It's your time. You have got to take this wonderful God given opportunity and grab it with both hand and not let go. For no other reason except you deserve it and all that that means to you. You are important, You matter! You have to make yourself your new project, concern, number one priority. Everything else in your life will follow your lead! Like Purplicious (love the name & wish I had thought of it!..) I have added you as a friend and will keep you in my prayers. I have found this site to not just be informative but soo very supportive. God Bless you honey {{HUGS}}