As a sleeved patient especially post op you should already know the struggles on both sides of fence. I think it's disgusting for a former obese person to criticize another obese person because you were once in their shoes so you should at least understand more than anyone else their pain and suffering. Instead I looking down on them like the world looked down on you, why don't you try to do the opposite and help them the way you helped yourself when no helped you? Why don't you try to enlighten them. I'm not saying do the work for them, I'm saying give them the blueprint to follow.

As an obese person it's hard enough trying to maneuver around the insults and feelings of insecurity, no pun intended. So why would you make another person go through the same **** you are desperately trying to change in your own life? Why being them down to a place where you once felt the most vulnerable?

How can you look at your fellow obese comrade or friend and judge them so easily and disgustingly? My question is do you hate yourself THAT much that you have to portray your faults on to others to make yourself feel better? If that's the case you will need more than this surgery to accomplish ya goals becaus this sounds more psychological then physical.

I dont know about you all but I've neer been a negative person during my obese or slim stage. I've always remained position and kept my head in the game at all times and that helped me push myself further. In the process it ave me the strength to assist other going through what I went through. I'm a strong believer in karma becaus I'm a stronger advocate for support .

I agree with everything you said, but what brought that on? Something on this forum? There was a recent "fat on fat hate" thread.

There was a recent "fat on fat hate" thread.

That's just sad. Especially in the one place where we should all feel safe and not judged, just supported.

Did you see someone do this recently?

I agree! I feel like a few certain people in my life that have lost a lot of weight (and a few on this site for that matter) have hopped on their high horses and make others feel bad. Even just for asking questions or making not so good food choices and confessing. It makes me feel mad/ hurt too, but all we can do is control our own actions and support others that are struggling.

I am wondering if this is in response to the fat on fat hate thread. I actually thought it brought up a really interesting discussion, because it's true, some people do judge others who are overweight. I think it was a good topic to bring up and talk about so that we can be aware of the things that may be going on in our heads that we don't realize until we hear another person admit it. I honestly think she was brave for admitting that she does, no matter how awful it might be, because getting it out maybe she can realize what is at the core of it so she can work through it.

I will say as I did there that sometimes I feel embarrassed for other people who are very obese, mostly because of embarrassment I've felt myself before in similar situations. It seems like to me the majority of the time when people do this that it's they dislike their former self or something of the like. More like anger at yourself directed outward to others that remind you of it. Projecting, I guess?

I agree with you though, it's important to remember no matter what weight we end up, we all started in the same place and a little kindness can go a long way. I don't know about other people, but I do think that personally I will continue counseling throughout this process, because I have a lot of unresolved issues with food, weight, and self-image. The sooner we can identify the things we feel and our faults, the sooner we can go about being better, more accepting people. =)

Why should ex-fat people act any differently than other groups who display this type of behavior? Want to see someone who's really disgusted by smokers? Look at ex-smokers - they're often superior acting. Same with people who had drug addictions.

It doesn't make it right, but I think there is some degree of human nature at work in this equation.

Why should ex-fat people act any differently than other groups who display this type of behavior? Want to see someone who's really disgusted by smokers? Look at ex-smokers - they're often superior acting. Same with people who had drug addictions.

It doesn't make it right, but I think there is some degree of human nature at work in this equation.

Exactly. It's totally human nature. Shouldn't we have tolerance for people who aren't sophisticated enough to realize they're projecting their personal demons onto us? How are we different if we bitterly criticize their behavior? Yes, I'd sooner date a smoker than an ex-smoker, but I try not to judge ex-smokers' self-righteous derision of smokers.

After living in NYC for the last 11 years, I've had to tolerate a staggering amount of truly disgusting behavior from people. And I've had to learn not to engage and just ignore them because if I don't, it doesn't make me any better than them.

I know this is more or less a "rant" thread, but the back and forth on this is becoming convoluted and circular.

I agree with everything you said' date=' but what brought that on? Something on this forum? There was a recent "fat on fat hate" thread.[/quote']

Iono if there is anything like that on this forum and I pray there is is not, but this is coming from my personal experience. Meaning my friend weighed literally 400+lbs an she use to cry all the time about the way people made her feel. Mind you she has an amazing personality, extremely intelligent and witty. She is def the type of person you would live to have as a friend. Moving out 2 years ago she had gastric bypass and list all the weight. Fast forwarding I noticed that's every since the transformation she has been insulting obese people and making them feel bad about their weight instead of actually helping them. I mean damn you USE to walk their shoes now you wanna despise them becaus they remind you of your past? I that's the case I strongly feel these actions are more psychological and need to get dealt with.

Did you see someone do this recently?

Yes I did check out my post below

I agree! I feel like a few certain people in my life that have lost a lot of weight (and a few on this site for that matter) have hopped on their high horses and make others feel bad. Even just for asking questions or making not so good food choices and confessing. It makes me feel mad/ hurt too' date=' but all we can do is control our own actions and support others that are struggling.[/quote']

Is a sad epidemic Its just sad... I guess people are truly self loathing and can't stand themselves.

I am wondering if this is in response to the fat on fat hate thread. I actually thought it brought up a really interesting discussion' date=' because it's true, some people do judge others who are overweight. I think it was a good topic to bring up and talk about so that we can be aware of the things that may be going on in our heads that we don't realize until we hear another person admit it. I honestly think she was brave for admitting that she does, no matter how awful it might be, because getting it out maybe she can realize what is at the core of it so she can work through it.

I will say as I did there that sometimes I feel embarrassed for other people who are very obese, mostly because of embarrassment I've felt myself before in similar situations. It seems like to me the majority of the time when people do this that it's they dislike their former self or something of the like. More like anger at yourself directed outward to others that remind you of it. Projecting, I guess?

I agree with you though, it's important to remember no matter what weight we end up, we all started in the same place and a little kindness can go a long way. I don't know about other people, but I do think that personally I will continue counseling throughout this process, because I have a lot of unresolved issues with food, weight, and self-image. The sooner we can identify the things we feel and our faults, the sooner we can go about being better, more accepting people. =)[/quote']

Yeah, I'm sorry but I didn't kno there was a thread like that here on this board. Knowing that we do have it makes me disappointed also, but this rant comes from a personal experience I witnessed 1st hand which made me angry.

Why should ex-fat people act any differently than other groups who display this type of behavior? Want to see someone who's really disgusted by smokers? Look at ex-smokers - they're often superior acting. Same with people who had drug addictions.

It doesn't make it right' date=' but I think there is some degree of human nature at work in this equation.[/quote']

What kind of stupid question is that? So you tell me a victim of a bully should grow up to be bully? That is what you are basically saying. If youve been in someone else shoes and you actually understand the hardship they are going through daily, you're telling me You should treat them the same way You were once treated? If you TRULY believe that we have nothing to talk about.

Smokers hating ex-smokers is a different story. This is more emotional

What kind of stupid question is that? So you tell me a victim of a bully should grow up to be bully? That is what you are basically saying. If youve been in someone else shoes and you actually understand the hardship they are going through daily, you're telling me You should treat them the same way You were once treated? If you TRULY believe that we have nothing to talk about.

Smokers hating ex-smokers is a different story. This is more emotional

I agree that we have nothing to talk about, as evidenced by your disrespectful tone. What's the point in attacking me for positing a different perspective? Extremely rude and unnecessary. Nevermind the fact that you misrepresented what I said. Duh

I agree! I feel like a few certain people in my life that have lost a lot of weight (and a few on this site for that matter) have hopped on their high horses and make others feel bad. Even just for asking questions or making not so good food choices and confessing. It makes me feel mad/ hurt too, but all we can do is control our own actions and support others that are struggling.

I'm sure some posts are out of bounds, but from what I've seen here, I think the motivation behind most of the responses to "I ate the wrong thing" etc. are from the standpoint of "tough love." Sometimes we NEED to have our butts kicked when we screw up. Support me, sure, but scold me if I need it too. The OP's example from his own life is definitely out of line though, and I agree, hard to understand.

What kind of stupid question is that? So you tell me a victim of a bully should grow up to be bully? That is what you are basically saying. If youve been in someone else shoes and you actually understand the hardship they are going through daily, you're telling me You should treat them the same way You were once treated? If you TRULY believe that we have nothing to talk about.

Smokers hating ex-smokers is a different story. This is more emotional

You misread part of his post. He mention EX-smokers acting superior to CURRENT smokers, not the other way around. Bullying is not an addiction, all the other things mentioned are. IMO anybody who's walked that path and got over their addictions should have sympathy for those who are still stuck.