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What Was Your Final "straw That Broke The Camels Back"



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My Dr put her foot down about me telling her staff my weight and actually came out and made me get on a scale. I knew I had put on more weight but was astonished when the number came up to 449 lbs. Then I was horrified. Nothing could rationalize that number in my head. She offered me a referral to the "Options" program (Kaiser) and I began within a couple weeks. My first class was on April 30, 2013. On September 20th I had a final weigh-in with my surgeon (382 lbs) and I was sleeved on September 23, 2013. I'm down 100 lbs from that horrible number and just want to get back to living a normal life - slowly it comes into focus.

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Last straw for me was standing in the dressing room at Lane Bryant trying to find something to wear on a "first-date" and instead of looking young, sexy, and appealing, I looked like someone's 5 ft. 2in. grandmother in a printed sundress with a cropped knit cardigan because there was not way in the world I was letting these fat arms see sunlight.

There I stood, short and stout in a printed sundress and cardigan, which took all the sexiness out of the dress. I looked hideous.... I have small legs and a huge mid-section, so the dress stood out like a tent instead of hugging my legs to create a sexy look. The dress was so wide on the bottom, and it dragged the floor because Lane Bryant's clothes are cut for tall, large-framed women.

I threw off the dress, and stormed out of Lane Bryant that day, cancelled the date, because there was no way I was going out with this handsome, totally fine 6-1 Adonis, looking like some old short, fat church-lady. I went home sat at the computer and scheduled myself for the next seminar at L.A. Bariatric in Marina Del Rey, CA.

Within 3 months, I was sleeved. My entire process went like clock-work, and seemed to take on a life on its own. Because I had no medical issues, I was concerned that it would not be approved. But the insurance company approved it on the first letter. But working in the fashion apparel field where appearance is a priority, my job probably purchased the best bariatric plan because everyone on my job is getting WLS, which is why no one scoffs at it, and we talk freely about it. :-)

I eventually had my first-date, and to my surprise, he was totally supportive of my decision, even though he preferred that I just do a supervised nutrition plan, and when I told him I do well on those plans but I could never get past 30 lbs, and its back in the other direction. My "first-date" and I are still going strong, and I am 5 lbs. past my 30 lb. turnaround. For the first time, I got past 30 lbs. and I am so thankful for the decision I made to feel better about myself.

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Two years ago, my brother and his wife had their fourth baby and only girl. She's pretty much the center of my universe and I love her more than anything. Not to mention, that the oldest three boys were getting to the age where trips to Chuck E cheese and Kangarooz were fun and not frequent diaper changes and meltdowns.

So I'm all excited to super Aunt, but then I have no energy. I can't walk around the mall or museums or airports without getting out of breath and my legs hurting. And I remembered not being able to go places with my grandmother because she would get out of breath and couldn't walk.

Not to mention I'd been put on high blood pressure meds and was paying out the wazoo for cute clothes.

So I made the choice to do something about it.

And I realized I'd made the right one when this Halloween we were trick or treating and I got winded and had to stop and sit for a second and my niece asked me "Are you Ok, Ina?" I could have cried.

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Finally going to see my favorite actress, Patina Miller, in her Tony award winning performance in the Broadway musical "Pippin," and not being able to fit in the seats. The house manager was kind enough to let me stand and watch from the back of the house, but still...that's when I said enough was enough.

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Sick and tired of being sick and tired that I could not stick to anything and constantly dieting with no results. Missing out on things because I am embarrassed of my weight. Wanting to live again!

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Going ziplining in Honduras a few weeks ago and being the only person in my group of 10 that required an extra harness due to my weight. I was humiliated.

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A big part of my decision-making process included my declining health... hypertension, huffing & puffing when walking, herniated disk, sore knees and dreading ANY visit to my doctor. Also, I got tired of my clothes, limiting all my activities, requesting "big girl" seating when out and not being able to be as active as my husband and his friends. I stayed home or sat out a lot!!!

I also wanted to create a more credible image for my work as a psychotherapist and life coach. At times, I know weighing over 300 pounds in the helping profession hurt my credibility. I really got to a point where I knew I needed to address my own weight issue in order to be a viable resource for helping others.

I am 4 days post-op, and I have no regrets.

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So many stories on here got me tearful. I want to hug each and every one of you.

For me.. I've always been heavy. Even as a child. My mother always made good for us food and I was active, playing soccer and such. Even in high school I'd opt to walk 1.5 miles home from school over taking the bus. As an adult, I've been hit with so many things emotionally and it's been so hard. Fighting with both my mind and my body. Going up and down like a roller coaster.

Now I'm 31 and I'm almost double what I was when I was 18, making me 350lbs. I mean I'm mostly fine with my self image, but I can't do anything. I used to love hiking, fishing, cooking, crafting.. So many things. And I can't anymore. Either the mental or physical pain stops me. And I can't live like this anymore. I feel trapped in a cage. I want to be let out and be free again! I want to be able to keep up with my husband and not feel like a ball and chain holding him back. Even if he doesn't feel like I am.

Only thing I am afraid of is how long it will take for me to get approved, and the long wait until the surgery date. If I even get approved or get the surgery I want (going to be working with Tricare. D:). I don't know how much longer I can wait to live. I've fought against the idea of WLS for so long, but after hearing about the sleeve.. I know that is what I need.

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BatBat, The time will pass. Just think of where you will be in a year if you don't get the surgery, and where you will be if you do. I started my program on July 7, 2013 and guess what? I started my liquid diet today and will have my sleeve on December 23rd. I am so excited. It took forever, but my turn has finally come. You hang in there and do what you have to do to get healthy. Good luck!

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BatBat, The time will pass. Just think of where you will be in a year if you don't get the surgery, and where you will be if you do. I started my program on July 7, 2013 and guess what? I started my liquid diet today and will have my sleeve on December 23rd. I am so excited. It took forever, but my turn has finally come. You hang in there and do what you have to do to get healthy. Good luck!

You're right. I just called my husband a bit ago, and with his help I can make it. :) I just have to think about me being able to hike again someday.

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During the summer, I went to Six Flags with a friend and her children, when I tried to get on a ride they were on the bar wouldn't lock across my lap and it was painful so I couldn't ride...lol.

My feet hurt no matter how much money I pay for shoes that are comfortable. I work in the hospice field, therefore I walk and drive a lot.

Finally, I started to gain more and more weight, buying bigger clothes, feeling full all the time, looking and feeling unhappy about how I am feeling.

Nuff said...lol

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My Final Straw moment were the last couple of months leading up to my decision to look into the Gastric Sleeve...

1- I would wake up with my Legs and arms numb

2- sleep apnea

3- constant lower back pain when walking more than 2-3mins at a time

4-Sweating for any reason

5-Weighing myself and finding out I was over 300lbs for the first time in my life at 25yrs old...realizing at this rate I would eat myself to death

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I've had so many reasons for the sleeve. Pain every day, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, lymph edema and severe arthritis. But until this year, I only "thought" about it. In August, after hosting my 8 year olds birthday at a Water park and having to ask other moms (even if they are my best friends who love me) to go down the big slides with the kids - that might have been the final. I started my work up in October. Hoping to be sleeved in Feb/March. Today, I watched my sister and niece teach my 8 year old to ski. I posted pictures on fb and childhood friend commented "you were such a great skier in our youth". And I was. It was joyful to see him take to it so easily but excruciating that I could only watch. It's been 25 years since I've been small enough to ski and even then, it was rough. I want that so badly again. My goal, one of many, is to ski in 2015.

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