1. I confess that I think about food way more than I should.

2. I confess that I drink caffeinated coffee on occasion

3. I confess that I have sucked on a tiny peice of chocolate and let it melt in my mouth because I'm on soft foods

4. I confes that I have cried until I can't cry anymore about how much I miss my old eating habits

5. I confess that I secretly am angry when my husband eats a big plate of carbs and fat....

I'm currently visiting Cincinnati. There's an okay farmer's market and a couple of places to get some decent meat, so that's alright. I live in Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan, in Central Asia. I won't lie and say the place has much going for it otherwise, although I don't really mind living there. But one thing they do have are amazing produce markets with mostly local produce (you can find imported stuff, though), butchers that use meat they acquire locally and they really don't eat much of the junk we eat here. Now, don't get me wrong, I can order french fries in a restaurant. But when I do, they cut up a fresh potato, fry it up, salt and pepper it and bring it to my table. It's not made of a pre-frozen potato plus additives. And trust me, you can taste the difference.

~Cheri

You have mountains and

I want to go! -- not during the winter though. Do you read Cyrillic?

Sorry, getting nosy.

i confess...

i am scared to death about this surgery, but know it is the best decision i have ever made. (sept 24)

i am afraid of failure because i have failed at weight loss all my life (56 years old)

i am worried about 2 weeks of liquid diet, and none of that liquid is wine

i hate to exercise, and not sure how i'll get through that,

i will drive my husband nuts during the journey, but hope he loves me even more for doing this

i am a newbee, and have been lurking in the background, so i guess this is my coming out.

i drink with a straw quite frequently

i weigh myself daily

i have had a soda

i have my days where i don't think this is worth it

i miss my mommas southern cooking

i constantly think that i'm failing

the hardest thing i have to confess is that with every pound i lose, i find myself judging my body even worse than before!

OK I have 5 more:

6. I confess that I down played some things on my psych eval.

7. I confess that some days I only eat once.

8. I confess that I hate to see people shovel food in their mouths.

9. I confess that I look in the mirror too much and take waaayyy too many pics.

10. I confess that my new found confidence may be a gift and a curse.

It felt even better to get those 5 out.

LMAO!!! I SOOOO gave the "right" answers to the psychologist and nutritionist! Fact is, I am an extremely picky eater, and if they knew I had issues with the texture of food in my mouth, or that there was no way I would ever blend food for the soft-foods-stage......they probably wouldn't have passed me!!!

I've only recently started contemplating surgery and this board has helped me SO MUCH in deciding that this is the route I need to go. I haven't really started making changes yet, I see the NUT next Tuesday and I'm really excited to make a lot of changes. So, I don't know that all of these will be valid for much longer...

I confess that I have never stepped foot inside a gym in my entire life (not counting school gyms, obviously) and that this fact embarrasses me.

I confess that I'm scared of being embarrassed by going to a public gym. All those people! WITH THEIR EYES!!!

I confess that I am extremely worried about being a mess with loose skin all over the place if/when I have surgery.

I confess that I have no idea what my actual weight is, and that I'm more than a little nervous to find out the actual number. (6 days til that NUT visit!)

I confess that I fear I've lost my chance at ever having a child because I allowed myself to be this fat for this long.

I confess that not having children breaks my heart, despite always saying that I didn't really want have kids.

I confess that since I brought the idea of having this surgery into my head, I've been a complete basket case.

I confess that I'm okay with being a basket case, especially if I'm learning things along the way.

that's enough for now!

LMAO!!! I SOOOO gave the "right" answers to the psychologist and nutritionist! Fact is, I am an extremely picky eater, and if they knew I had issues with the texture of food in my mouth, or that there was no way I would ever blend food for the soft-foods-stage......they probably wouldn't have passed me!!!

Ya HAH! Me too. I'm not a picky eater and don't have food issues other than I really, REALLY like it, the question that stopped me was: "How was your childhood? Relationship with your parents?"

I don't know how it was relevant, but my answer was: "GREAT! I had a pretty uneventful childhood." In actuality, it was a train wreck. I so didn't want to go there.

what else do they talk to you about? I'm so nervous about this - IDK what the "right" answers are!!

LMAO!!! I SOOOO gave the "right" answers to the psychologist and nutritionist! Fact is' date=' I am an extremely picky eater, and if they knew I had issues with the texture of food in my mouth, or that there was no way I would ever blend food for the soft-foods-stage......they probably wouldn't have passed me!!![/quote']

I don't know about every shrink but the one I went to does 65% of all my surgeons evals. He told me in his 15 years of doing this that only 2 had not passed. 1 was actually coo-coo and one had a severe eating disorder.

I don't think you had to worry so much about that.

Cheri: Congrats on your pregnancy! I love the way you eat and am working on eating healthy but seem to always end up eating out, but healthy. You are an inspiration to me! Thank you so much!

You have mountains and

http://www.flickr.co...ljs/3527537017/

I want to go! -- not during the winter though. Do you read Cyrillic?

Sorry, getting nosy.

Haha! That's just a tiny fraction of the massive Osh Bazaar. If it's for trade or sale, you can buy it there. The produce section really is HUGE, though you see a lot of repetition between vendors.

I do read and speak a small amount of Russian, yes. I wish I was better with it but I don't really practice unless I'm talking to our housekeeper. My husband is fluent, though, so I let him do the talking most of the time.

~Cheri

It's so funny to hear how people weren't exactly truthful in their psych eval. Let me tell you that as a therapist, we know when someone's not being up front with us. The psych eval is a tool to assist in making a determination if there are other complications that might interfear with a person's health, e.g. major depression, or other mental illnesses.

I too am a therapist and only messing someone for 30 minutes would not let me know if they are lying. I hate to say it but if it was not a requirement for insurance out would not be done. I don't think self pay have one our people that have it done I'm mexico. I consider myself a good therapist and I cannot tell upfront if someone was lying. I would not share my whole life story with someone I am never going to see again. I would be fine walking in and a mess.walking out. Then what

I too am a therapist and only messing someone for 30 minutes would not let me know if they are lying. I hate to say it but if it was not a requirement for insurance out would not be done. I don't think self pay have one our people that have it done I'm mexico. I consider myself a good therapist and I cannot tell upfront if someone was lying. I would not share my whole life story with someone I am never going to see again. I would be fine walking in and a mess.walking out. Then what

I don't see why depression would mean I don't qualify for surgery. I am depressed, but most of that stems from my weight in the first place. I don't expect surgery to "cure" me of anything. I don't take meds and don't do therapy, I'd say I have a normal amount of stress and depression associated with being a working woman!

If insurance didn't require it, I wouldn't be doing it. Point blank. I don't like the idea of paying someone to judge me or letting someone else decide if this is something I should do or not. :\

I confess:

• I had my blood work for my 1 year appointment today, and I lied about fasting. I'd had coffee and a protein shake. I'm not sure why I had to fast in the first place and didn't realize it until it was too late.
  
• I'm worried I won't have a weight loss to show when I go for my 1 year appointment later this month -- it has been May since I've lost any weight.
  
• I think my sleeve has helped me lose all the weight I am going to lose. If I lose more, it will be because I stick to the plan as far as eating and exercising. I will not lose more without exercise.
  
• I have a hard time determining my portion sizes when eating food I make at home. I think this might be a place where I can improve my diet, so I've bought smaller dishes (4 ounce sizes) and a digital food scale to help me get more accurate calorie counts for home cooked food.
  
• I need to quit drinking alcohol. A frozen margarita sounds SO good on a hot summer day. I can easily pass up a 100 calorie snack, but it is harder to pass on an alcoholic drink. I think knowing the actual calories will make it easier to turn it down. When I learned those frozen premade margaritas have 300 calories, they lost their appeal. It is shocking that one drink can be a third to a half of the calorie count of my normal intake.
  
• I feel like my belly is getting bigger although my weight hasn't changed. I'm afraid to measure in case I'm right.
  
• I love it when someone asks me what my pant size or weight is, and they get this shocked look when they realize I am now smaller or the same size as they are...