Hi All,

I was sleeved just over 6 months ago and I am struggling with the "Perfect" goal weight. Here is the deal...I have a history of failing every diet I have ever tried. (I know this is a lifestyle change not a diet..yada yada) I have a little success then I quit, that has been my life. I chose this surgery so I couldn't fail. Now I am feeling like a failure again. I have lost 80 pounds and feel amazing. I feel thin and beautiful and love wearing new clothes. I am about 20 pounds from my goal of 150 pounds but feel really good where I am at. My doctors still tell me I am overweight, my Nut wants me to increase my calories to lose more weight. I jog the soccer fields 4x a week and I think my weight is set at about 170-173 depending on the time of day.

My husband says I could maybe lose 10 more pounds but definately not 20. I don't know if he is being nice or telling the truth (I know we are having happier "married couple time").

Here is the point of my rambling. Given my history of giving up, am I in denial like I was before surgery about my weight? Should I try harder to lose more weight? I went from a 22 to an 8. I am 5'6 1/2. I just feel like I am never going to hit everyone's perfect number for me. How can I lose this much weight and still feel like a failure...like I am doing something wrong ALL THE TIME. I feel like I have been chasing this magic number for years and I am finally in a place I am happy with, but no one in the medical field thinks I am healthy yet (*cursing stupid BMI chart*).

My question to you all is have you struggled with the perfect goal number? Have any of you adjusted your number up? Should I trust the doctors/NUT and increase my fitness to 6X a week to lose more weight?

I am attaching my before pic (never been shared before) and a pic taken with my amazing hubby this weekend for a visual reference.

***Note to pre-sleevers*** My sister is a photgrapher and insisted she do a shoot the weekend before my surgery. I was crying I was so embarressed. Now I am really grateful to have these photos. Have a friend or family member do them...you will be glad you did later.

Disclaimer: I cant find the spell check, so please ignore any errors.

Hey Lacie,

Your post resonated with me. I currently am at 169.5 (woo hoo), the smallest EVER. But girl, shoot I wish I was a size 8. You rock!

My highest was 254 lbs, I was sleeved 5 months ago on 8/5. I went to see a psychiatrist recently as he has a bariatric support group. He asked me this question "if I had a magic wand and could wave it over you... what would it do?" Like what's your heart's wish or wishes?

Mine had nothing more to do with weight. The heart's desire can't be met from weight or losing it, it doesn't entirely equate happiness. The point? Yeah I want to get to 150 but if I live where I'm at, honestly? I'm ok with it. I am a size 12 now and that's the smallest I've ever been (ok personal goal still would be to get to my "dream" size of an 8, but do I think I'll live there? no... but.... IDK).

The point of my rambling post is this - are you happy? If so, then revel in it and enjoy it. If you want to lose 10 more lbs., do so. But don't hang onto the scale like before. Yes, be mindful, keep good habits (i.e. Water, Protein, logging your food, weighing once a week, exercising, finding new recipes, challenging yourself physically, etc) but just enjoy LIVING life. You look fabulous!

Best to you!

ps and btw, I've lost 85 lbs. and am "only" at a size 12. To some, I'm sure that's "still" too big, but whatever. It's not about them.

Lacie you look fabulous and what with the do it in 6 months who say you keep doing what your doing and in 1 year youll lost 10 more pounds if you feel good and are comfortable blow off the BMI chart remember those are goverment recommindations that should give you a clue congrats on your success

Instead of focusing on the number, focus on body fat percentage. That is my plan, more muscle...less fat.

According to the BMI chart I should be about 150 for normal (im 5'6 as well). Last year I worked out with a trainer and he measured my body fat with a machine. He said my ideal weight should be 170. The trainer said ideally he wanted me to put on a good 7-10 lbs of muscle

Thank you all so much for each of your opinions and advice. I didn't expect such a huge response. I jog alot and have put on a considerable amount of muscle that way, but I don't lift weights. I am allergic to gyms...sooo...I havn't joined one. I tried a gym with a friend who advised me to "Omg..Try Spinning...It's A-Mazing" and the next morning it felt like I broke my vagina. I couldn't sit down for dang near three days. I tried Curves but the women in my neighborhood are serious oversharers and I ended each 30 min session wanting to punch people in the face. This is why I jog.

I think I am going to work for 10 more pounds...meet in the middle like some of you suggested. That way I won't feel like I am quitting, and then I will follow the rest of your advice and accept my body. It's sooo hard though because I am so tired of my doctor's telling me I am overweight. Today I lost it in the car- I just started crying, and I usually don't cry. I saw my Lady Doctor for Lady stuff and I heard it again. I got used to hearing it from the NUT, so much that I expected it, but from my lady doctor? It felt like the old days again...even the dentist told me I needed to lose weight before surgery.After my apt today I just felt like I will never be healthy enough. I thought I was past the stupid "you need to lose some weight" lectures. Now that I am over my pity party I would like to say Thanks so much and I truely appreciate your honest feedback.

I will never stop this lifestyle. I signed up for my first 5K on Sept 2nd. I'm training right now and just bought my first pair of race shoes - Neon Pink!!! I will post a pic after the race. I will increase my calories as suggested and add one more day of jogging, but I will not work out 6 days a week. That is just "nazi" as one of you said. Again...you all are the best. Thanks again!

I am so tired of my doctor's telling me I am overweight. Today I lost it in the car- I just started crying, and I usually don't cry. I saw my Lady Doctor for Lady stuff and I heard it again. I got used to hearing it from the NUT, so much that I expected it, but from my lady doctor?

I will never stop this lifestyle. I signed up for my first 5K on Sept 2nd. )

Ugh! Find new doctors. Even before I had surgery my doctors sounded more supportive than that! Sorry they made you feel that way!!!!

CONGRATS and good luck on your first 5K! I'm doing m first one on Aug 18th! Excited and scared all at the same time!

You look great, you feel great, you are worlds healthier. I think meeting in the middle with the 10 pound loss seems like a good idea.

However, this is not something that even ends. If you lose ten pounds this year, you still have the rest of your life to decide whether or not you want to lose those extra 10 pounds after. 10 pounds is certainly not going to kill you, even if you never lose it. My point being, you can ALWAYS reevaluate later.

I think you are doing amazing though. Do not let it get you down. It is their job to try and get you into your normal BMI category, don't take it personally. You know you have done great and you deserve to be able to enjoy the rewards of that success =)

I agree with Izuri - even at my current weight my doctor is more supportive. Get new doctors. You should not feel that way after a doctor visit -- especially seeing the progress you've already made. That made me angry!!

The only reason I could see for justifying that kind of pressure is if you have medical issues that would be resolved (diabetes, etc.) if you lost more weight other than than you have made GREAT PROGRESS and SHOULD BE EXTREMELY PROUD.

IMHO - tell them to kiss your slimmed down a$$.

Thanks. I think i still struggle with that all or nothing mentality. Either I am successful or I am a failure. I don't know how i am going to occupy my mind when i reach my goal and stop obsessing about my weight...or maybe it might be time for some counseling. My hubby very politely suggested that last ***ht...he might be right.

Thanks. I think i still struggle with that all or nothing mentality. Either I am successful or I am a failure. I don't know how i am going to occupy my mind when i reach my goal and stop obsessing about my weight...or maybe it might be time for some counseling. My hubby very politely suggested that last ***ht...he might be right.

First off- thank u for this great topic. I think this is an issue that quite a few of us have. I'm sorry that the docs r on ur case. I think ur approach to meet in the middle with 10 pounds is a great idea. Best of luck to u regarding the 5k! That is exciting. As for occupying ur mind... Well u can start worrying about when ur next race will be. they become addictive! I've done two 5ks, running one this weekend, and I've registered for a 10k on the 18th of this month and a half marathon in Jan. Like I said- running and/or training for the next run is a healthy distraction. Best of luck to u!

Oh my!!!!! You look friggen FANTASTIC!!!!

Yeah, my surgeon says I should be at 110 pounds. I told him that when I was 110 pounds, I was emaciated and wearing a size 0 and didn't he think that was excessive? He said, that's just what the insurance charts say.

Whatever. I'm going for 130 and as you can see by my ticker, it is with range of normal, healthy weight. I mean, what's wrong with a size 4-6?

Hell, I could live with me now fine because my labwork is great and my BP is great and my endurance is great. I can do almost anything. Still, I want to get into that goal I set for myself. It's not unreasonable.

Do what makes YOU happy. I don't think your health is in jeopardy anymore, especially considering your activity level. Go with your gut. You look beautiful!

Can I ask who did your surgery? I live in the city to the north of where your picture was taken. Also, you look great! Good job!

Sent from my iPhone using VST

I'm not sleeve yet but after much research I believe our body decides our goal weight I think your body give u signs that allow u to no what's good weight for "Your" body we cant all go by numbers which we are all different body types in my opinion if u have

More of a athletic body type you would be on the high Bmi side ... You look amazing and I wish all I was worried about was my size 8 .. I'm still in the process .. I'm in my third month of my supervised diet

Hi All' date='

I was sleeved just over 6 months ago and I am struggling with the "Perfect" goal weight. Here is the deal...I have a history of failing every diet I have ever tried. (I know this is a lifestyle change not a diet..yada yada) I have a little success then I quit, that has been my life. I chose this surgery so I couldn't fail. Now I am feeling like a failure again. I have lost 80 pounds and feel amazing. I feel thin and beautiful and love wearing new clothes. I am about 20 pounds from my goal of 150 pounds but feel really good where I am at. My doctors still tell me I am overweight, my Nut wants me to increase my calories to lose more weight. I jog the soccer fields 4x a week and I think my weight is set at about 170-173 depending on the time of day.

My husband says I could maybe lose 10 more pounds but definately not 20. I don't know if he is being nice or telling the truth (I know we are having happier "married couple time").

Here is the point of my rambling. Given my history of giving up, am I in denial like I was before surgery about my weight? Should I try harder to lose more weight? I went from a 22 to an 8. I am 5'6 1/2. I just feel like I am never going to hit everyone's perfect number for me. How can I lose this much weight and still feel like a failure...like I am doing something wrong ALL THE TIME. I feel like I have been chasing this magic number for years and I am finally in a place I am happy with, but no one in the medical field thinks I am healthy yet (*cursing stupid BMI chart*).

My question to you all is have you struggled with the perfect goal number? Have any of you adjusted your number up? Should I trust the doctors/NUT and increase my fitness to 6X a week to lose more weight?

I am attaching my before pic (never been shared before) and a pic taken with my amazing hubby this weekend for a visual reference.

***Note to pre-sleevers*** My sister is a photgrapher and insisted she do a shoot the weekend before my surgery. I was crying I was so embarressed. Now I am really grateful to have these photos. Have a friend or family member do them...you will be glad you did later.

Disclaimer: I cant find the spell check, so please ignore any errors. <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

[/quote']

Hi, my husband is a wild land firefighter and he and a friend took a class in which the BMI test was presented. Both he and his friend were considered morbid obese!!!! JOKE as they both work six days a week. And I mean workout , 3 mile mountain climbs with 45 lbs on their body, weight lifting, running. Their BMI was high because of the weight of their high muscle mass. Neither have hardly any fat on them. So it maybe a informational tool, but we are all built different. If your B/P, cholesterol, glucose is healthy then you are doing great. YOU know when you are at a healthy weight. That is what my dr. Says and I agree. Good luck and congrats.

Hi' date=' my husband is a wild land firefighter and he and a friend took a class in which the BMI test was presented. Both he and his friend were considered morbid obese!!!! JOKE as they both work six days a week. And I mean workout , 3 mile mountain climbs with 45 lbs on their body, weight lifting, running. Their BMI was high because of the weight of their high muscle mass. Neither have hardly any fat on them..[/quote']

I have a really hard time with this. When I was younger I was very athletic. I was an amateur wrestler/body builder/martial artist.

I am fairly short, 5'6" but I packed a lot of muscle on this short frame. When I was competing I was about 155 and 4% body fat. Outside of competition I typically added 15 lbs to that.

So daily I was(according to BMI) overweight but never even close to obese.

Someone @ 6' tall can weigh 220lbs and still not be considered obese. In order for a man to be considered morbidly obese at 6' tall he would have to weigh 295lbs.

The man below(you may recognize him) had a highest weight of 240lbs and won Mr Olympia multiple times. His highest BMI was 32.5. Some 55lbs from morbidly obese.