Today I decided to put together a bucket list of things related to my weight. I knew my weight effected me, but I never realized how gigantically :/

1. Shop in normal stores and be able to wear whatever. No more over priced stores just because they are the only cute clothes in my sizes (ehemmmmTORRID). If I splurge, let it be for cute/sexy reasons, like Victoria Secret. And I want to be able to wear those hot outfits, and buy those hot little Halloween numbers without looking like an overstuffed sausage. And shorts. I haven't worn shorts since elementary school. And I want to wear them without chaffing.

2. Go up and down stairs and walk long distances without feeling like I'm dying

3. Tie my shoes without having to suck everything in and holding my breath

4. Fit wherever I am. Chairs, seats, booths, rides, and not wonder if I'm too big, will I break it, and feel comfortable. And not have 1/2 my butt hanging off.

5. I want to run for the first time. Even if it's to the car. I want to be able to run like skinny people and not look ridiculous or feel like I'm a million pounds after.

6. Go to the pool/beach/boardwalk and not feel out of place. I want to be able to wear a bikini and look hot. I'm only 25! I don't want to feel like a whale washed up on shore next to my skinny fiancé, and I want to weigh less than him.

7. I want to be able to walk in heels without feeling like an elephant on a tight rope.

8. Speaking of my fiancé, I want to feel ok with letting him pick me up without freaking out on him not to.

9. Skinny sex

10. Being ok with pics taken of me. And not saying "omg delete this pic" on fb

11. Not be the fat one of the group/setting

12. Get the O_O look. For a GOOD reason. Double points if it's from someone in the past. Ex/schoolmate/whatever

13. Feel comfortable. Period.

14. Look beautiful and in a normal size on my wedding day, and not regret my weight in the pictures in years to come.

15. Not let food control me. Or have others tell me I need to do something about my weight.

Anyone else have ideas?

I agree with everything you said ????

This is great! I need to make my own...lets see

-Cross my legs like a normal woman

-Be able to walk more then a block with out being winded

-Subway steps. My enemy. Be able to climb them with out feeling like I'm going to dye

-Ride a roller coaster comfortably. I have a fear of heighs and would probably hate them even if I was never fat, BUT I want to be able to do it- would be a huge NSV for me!

-Buy clothes at Victoria's Secret, Express and Charlott Russe. I've always wanted to shop at these 3 stores. I especially want to be able to buy one of those PINK shirts/pants from VS. Silly but it's something I've never been able to do and I've watched all the thin girls be able to fit them and i want it!

-No more wide shoes. The day I am able to go into a shoe store and buy a show in M width I will cry my eyes out

-Date. At 23 I should be dating a lot more then I do. I've been big my whole life and never dated like a normal girl- I settled for a guy for a while who was awful for me and almost 2 years later I find myself still hung up on it because in a way I guess I've felt I couldn't do better.

-Wear shorts.

- Persue the jobs/opportunities I've been too afraid to go for over fear of being rejected because of my weight

- BE NORMAL

There it is, my very honest 'weight bucket list'

I agree with everything you said.

I am so hoping this year I can wear a cute/sexy Halloween costume, for many years I have never dressed up or went to costume parties because I felt out of place or nothing looked right on me.

All I can say is I'm 2 months post op and I don't feel embarrassed to run into people anymore. I always felt like people were thinking damn she got bigger, every time they saw me. It's great, I love my sleeve.

OK I did not read your list, or any replies yet - I want to see how many match -

1) I WANT TO MAINTAIN MY WEIGHT LOSS! Shout it!!!! lol. I can't have anything else if I don't have maintenance.

2) This one is compete: I am no longer diabetic. March of 2012 my doctor told me, with staff standing around me that had "been there" since I came into her office as a newly diagnosed diabetic, and told me no more- I cried, and I smiled, and I laughed...I won.

3) This one is bittersweet, but I feel like she has to know - I wanted my Mom to see it. My Mom passed away unexpectedly a week after my surgery. My Sister knows, and my Dad and my Hubby knows...My Mom knows, she knows...

4) stuff - just the general day to day stuff that took too much effort, was painful, tired me out too soon...

5) horseback riding - I know, I know, I could have got a horse to hold me - I have a friend that has a guy who loves to spend hours with his human and 100 lbs of gear on his back...but I just always felt so guilty!

6) Aside from the effort us sleevers have to make to stay hydrated, a summer in the Houston sun and not die...literally or figuratively. Me and heat were not friends.

7)HOT HOT HOT baths and showers...gawd I missed those!

8) long bike rides on hot days... (I see a heat related trend)

9) To just be left the hell alone...lol...not be the fat kid in the group...

10) My Hubby has started to go shopping for me, lol! It wasnt on a list or anything but it is awesome and he doesn't worry about it not fitting anymore, or me being upset if it didn't...Its just a waiting game for stuff to fit now!

11) All the stuff my hubby likes to do - there is a level of stuff my hubby likes to do that I can be very up for or very lukewarm - battle reinactments and concerts and stuff...it varies with mood and such but I often, increasingly so as the years went on, just didnt feel up to it...so I would anyway, and push on and on, often being out of comission the next day. He will never know how hard I pushed myself sometimes, how I walked paths and climbed the 20 flights of stairs, etc. in a fog...I can earnestly say I have a serious level of fortitude, just by how i have learned to adapt. It serves me well now that I can do more. I can still find that steel!

12) a regular bicycle seat. How sublime! Inflating my tires regularly, wearing gear bought in a bike shop!!!! Do you know how expensive it is to buy a real bicycle shirt in womens 3x...first find one!

13) BURNING MAN!!!! I AM SO GOING NEXT YEAR AGAIN!!! It has been almost 20 years since I went. By the time I was an adult and could afford to "go in style" I was also big enough to turn into a fair resemblance of bacon on the desert floor...

There are so many more, but that is a start.

I want to put my seatbelt on and not be fighting it to the DEATH all the way to my destination. I want to be unaware of it like small people are.

I want to sit in a regular desk and work with my 9th grade students side by side, one on one sometimes... not have to have them come sit at a table with me.

I want to turn heads again like I did when I was young... I can remember guys looking twice at me when I'd walk in a store or anywhere out in public... that hasn't happened since I was 22 years old. I'm 46.

I want to ride a bicycle again. I won't explain that one.

I want to be able to breathe calmly all the time, even when I get up to just go to the bathroom at my house... don't want to be out of breath to do it!

I want to wear normal jeans... no elastic... and be comfortable in them

I want to be able to order a T-shirt at school to help the kids' fundraisers, etc.

I agree with skinny sex. Nuff said

I want one chin and I want it attached to my face..

When I lie down, I want all my parts to stay where they go... not hanging on either side of me

I just want to be healthy... with all it entails...

I have a few to add. I have read all so far, an quite inspirational. To add, I have:

1. To be able to go zip lining

2. To be able to climb a rock wall

3. To be able to go tree climbing

4. To be able to scuba dive again. Those tanks are heavy and I almost died carrying that weight and my own the last time. Also if you ever have been diving an have been so positively buoyant they had to add an extra 30 lbs to get you to get below the surface only to sink too quickly 15 feet down. I did, scary.

5. To wear a form fitting wedding dress and not have boning literally dig into your skin by the end of the night.

6. To wear high heels. My fiancé finds it so sexy but I feel like a clown.

7. To not have to gasp for air when shoulder checking

8. To be able to put on my socks without moving my fat around so I can reach my feet.

9. Skinny sex as mentioned lol

10. To feel less lethargic

11. To not be a hypocrite nurse. Being overweight and working with patients to lose weight is not something I feel is appropriate.

12. I want to run again

13. To play with my nieces and nephews without running out if air.

14. To be at a beach and not think everyone is commenting on the recent whale sighting lol

15. To quite putting myself down. Ok it is fun to poke fun, but seriously all the time? Lol

16. To feel like I belong in a gym

17. To be honored for my hard work. We all have experienced how our weight affects that.

18. To swim with sharks with my hero doc Gruber!!!

19. To enjoy life to its fullest

20. To find out who I really am without the feeling if something holding me back!!

Long, but seriously, these are only a few. Lol

I made a list on my blog of 100 reasons to lose weight. I can't wait to start marking them off!

1. Shop for clothes that actually fit properly.

2. Skydive Tandem

3. Get out more

4. Take a tropical vacation or cruise

5. Run again

-fit in the rides at amusement parks

-not get winded walking up steps

-ride a bike

-maintain my weight loss

-sit on an airplane without spilling in the other seat

-sit comfortably in a booth at a restaurant

-shop in "non-plus size" stores

-have shoes fit comfortably

One that one one has said yet

- be pregnant and people know that i am instead of thinking i am just fat!

All of those are wonderful and exactly how I feel