Don't Want To Tell Anyone I'm Having The Surgery

[buffalogal 52]

So, this sounds like I'm being dishonest, and to some degree, I guess I am. My son and his wife are having a baby just about the same time I'm having the surgery. I'm hoping before, but either way, I don't want them to worry about me. If it comes down to me being MIA for a couple days, I don't want them to know why, or exactly what I am doing. If necessary, can I get away with saying I'm in hospital for something more routine like gallbladder or spleen? Am I being a big jerk? I'm not really up to telling anyone I'm having the surgery, so far only my husband knows. I just don't feel like explaining details to people. Maybe long term I'll be ready to share, but from this point, I just don't want to.

[christine50 9]

I felt the same. i felt I was doing something wrong, because I should be skinnny if I would just diet. and control my eating. I just tell some people I go out to eat with I am on a very specila diet that is why i cant eat this or that. No questions asked. Tell people when you are ready.

[Dooter 1,457]

I didn't tell anyone either. Only a select few. I just felt the desire to keep this to myself. I didn't want all the fanfare and spectacle. Now, however, when someone notices my loss and wants to know how I did it, I tell them I had surgery. I have no problem with it now. Before was a different story. That's not being a jerk.

[skye 46]

I thought the same thing but then I decied to tell everyone the support you get is wonderful. Some people say aree you sure but most people are glad for you

[readyforachange 51]

I've only told about 6 people....trusted people. Sometimes I wish I hadn't even told them. When people ask if I joined WW....or how am I doing "it"....I just say that I've cut out anything white, no bread, sugar or alcohol.

[Shoe_Vixen 23]

I thought the same thing but then I decied to tell everyone the support you get is wonderful. Some people say aree you sure but most people are glad for you

Me too, I've told everyone and had had nothing but support and encouragement. At first I was worried about some people's reactions, it was all in my head bc I was worried for nothing

[Territravel 217]

I understand not wanting to tell people. Im private like that too.

I have told my immediate family, and two others. Part of me, was afraid people would talk me out of it. I'm not going to lie, so not sure how to handle it after the weight starts droppping.

Would your Son and daughter-in-law be upset if they found out the truth? These things always have a way of getting out. Good luck with the new grandbaby!

[kczar 166]

First of all, congratulations on both your new grandchild and getting sleeved!

Is it possible to reschedule your surgery to make sure it doesn't coincide with the birth? If not, will it cause hurt feelings between yourself and your son and daughter-in-law if you're not able to be fully engaged? Since these are family members rather than co-workers, it might be more difficult to continue not confiding in them as to the nature of your surgery. Would it cause hurt feelings if they find out later or do you think they would be grateful you didn't share because it might cause them to stress about you making it through being sleeved okay?

I guess I'm not really being helpful. In the long run, it's definitely up to you who you tell or not. But do you want to take the chance of missing out on being able to fully participate in your grandchild's first few days?

Either way, good luck with both life changing events!

[gramaof4 58]

If it were me....I would not miss the birth of not even 1 of my grandbabies....for any reason....

Also the support you get from others are amazing...

I have folks poke their head in my busy office and ask????"how many today?" 81# your doing great keep it up, we are proud of you....

[buffalogal 52]

kczar, here's the other catch: I'm a teacher, so I pretty much have to do it this summer or wait another year. I'm doing this for health issues, so I really don't feel like I can physically live another year with the issues I've had. I'm guessing the little guy will be here just before, and I'll be out for a couple days. I'm not saying anything right now, because I just want them to be able to enjoy the baby and not think about me. It won't hurt their feelings if I don't tell them up front. I do imagine telling family once it's behind me, but thinking about this more tonight, I just don't feel like I can talk to people about it, simply because I don't know the experience myself, so what am I going to say?

As usual, everyone has been extremely helpful. This has been a long process, and I am just waiting for my date. I'm pretty ready to go at this point, and really looking forward to be a healthier Me-maw. Thanks everyone.

[kczar 166]

You are pretty much tied to your date then. Best of luck. We'll just hope the baby arrives before your surgery so you can get some quality grandmommy time in!

[his2my2our4 120]

I am 8 months out and 133lbs down and have yet to tell anyone besides my husband and two closest friends. The way I look at it is, this is for me. Selfishly all for me. So, how I'm doing it, who I tell...all of that is on my terms. (Sounds harsh lol) At first I didn't want to tell anyone because I was afraid it wouldn't work and I would have annnnother failed diet on my hands. Then, as I started having success I started feeling like I had been dishonest and so it was easier just to keep quiet. I work out 4-5 days a week, I eat dramatically different, cut out all sodas, all white foods, you all know the drill...so I feel as though it's not totally wrong when I say the key to my success is working out and eating less/better. Good luck to you and congrats on the new little one~ so many exciting things to celebrate!!

[Ready! 22]

I'm not telling anyone... except for the select few of course--- my husband, my mother, and my sister. Frankly, it's your decision.

[weight_no_longer 64]

So' date=' this sounds like I'm being dishonest, and to some degree, I guess I am. My son and his wife are having a baby just about the same time I'm having the surgery. I'm hoping before, but either way, I don't want them to worry about me. If it comes down to me being MIA for a couple days, I don't want them to know why, or exactly what I am doing. If necessary, can I get away with saying I'm in hospital for something more routine like gallbladder or spleen? Am I being a big jerk? I'm not really up to telling anyone I'm having the surgery, so far only my husband knows. I just don't feel like explaining details to people. Maybe long term I'll be ready to share, but from this point, I just don't want to.[/quote']

Im not telling anyone either! i feel its your business and up to u who you want to tell. im telling my son & daughter only. im not telling my parents because they will try & talk me out of it. my sisters & brother & parents are all slim/average size & expect that i should just be able to 'go on a diet' and lose the weight. Ive been on a diet for 40 years & it doesnt seem to be working lol. You are definitely not being a jerk & definitely not dishonest. Its your personal business. You dont have to tell anyone you dont want to tell. Im wondering also if i should say ive had a gall bladder op or maybe a bowel op... that should stop people wanting more in depth information lol

[chitowngirl 886]

Buffalogal, I'm totally with you on this one. Your son and daughter in law are prob so excited and have much going on with the upcoming birth of their child, I wouldn't want to worry or distract them. Tell them after you have the procedure and when you tell them let them know why you waited to tell them. Good luck.