Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

I had surgery about 5 weeks ago, friends have told me that I've become distant, husband tells me I'm very moody. I would like to know if anyone else is on the same boat as me.There's a lot going on right now for me . But for several people to tell me that I've been acting differently obviously means something. I think that food was my blanket for a long time, my everyday satisfaction and now it's been taken away. I just haven't felt very sociable lately. If anyone out there went through this or has kind words of advice , I'd appreciate it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd like to ask you to remember this: You are going through alot of changes. It's not easy. Handle yourself with care and don't beat yourself up.

For most of us who used food as a tool to cope, it's like losing a love relationship. I hate to describe it in such maladaptive terminology, but it's true. I have many emotions inside of me on this change. It's not easy, emotionally making this change, the surgery was the easy part. And I say that after 20 some odd days of complications! :)

Are you going to any support groups or have you seen a counselor before? Not saying you are crazy, but rather I'm suggesting talking it out with someone on all that you are feeling. I think you pegged it... the everyday satisfaction has been taken away, so now what? It's like grieving the death of a friend. You aren't alone. But let your husband in on how you're feeling if you can and close friends. Support helps!

Best to you mama. xoxo

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It will get better. You are probably just very focused on yourself and the changes you are going through, probably for the first time in your life. People who haven't gone through this don't understand. Give yourself a chance and keep focused. Your moods will improve as you learn to handle the changes. Hang in there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a feeling that almost everyone that is a member here can relate to what you are saying. food has been a blanket for a lot of us for so very long. Food makes us happy, it comforts us when we are down, it tastes good... and now it's something that has taken a back (or soon will) in our lives. I haven't even had surgery yet and I'm already anxious about giving up food. I know that I too will have many days that I will not be inthe best of moods or not want to hang out with other people while they are eating. Posting your thoughts here is a good start for you, I think you will find you have a lot of supporters. Hang in there... It WILL get better. I know this from talking to people who have had WLS in the past and have been able to move past those feelings.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OH my darling, let me share with you from where I sit 4 years out.

The fat cells that are rapidly emptying are also releasing serious quantities of estrogen. I had what felt like PMS for a year. Then there is the impact of losing your protective fat suit so all the world can see you. Then because you are focusing SO HARD on your food and learning how to manage your sleeve, you spend way too much time in your own head. On top of that you are trying to learn how to "be" as a regular sized person - which is kind of like moving to a foreign country where you don't speak the language. When I hit "normal' clothing sizes, every time I went into a clothing store, I was half waiting for the sales people to come and call me an imposter and tell me to go back to Lane Bryant. Rational huh?

At the 11 month mark I was probably as miserable and isolated as I have ever felt (short of post partum when my kids were born).

Stay on these boards, don't make ANY major life decisions and take care of you - it will pass. Do the things that feel good, and be mindful of when you are using food to hurt/comfort yourself. That is a sign that you aren't coping. Counselling helps. I wish I had the strength to reach out to a professional, but I was just so distraught yet thinking all should be well now that I wasn't so fat anymore. Fat was a symptom.

I have been away from bariatric discussion forums for over 2 yeras. I am back because I too need some support.

I send you a big hug and PROMISE that you will be ok.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Also; your body is used to putting off enough hormones for your previous weight; this can cause mood changes until your body adjusts. Completely normal. I have surgery 3 days from now And I have given my husband the heads up!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My moods have also been on the rocks. Today was the worst. Actually just got done yelling at the hubby. He actually text me telling me that it's all the surgeries fault and I'm going through mood swings which caused me to b***h him out even more. Sorry for the faul language but to say I yelled was not enough. Lol I've also realized that I've been getting annoyed real easily lately and it's not fair to the people around me so I have secluded myself for the most part. Which causes me to go insane anyways. I just can't win. Lol but I just wanted to say I know what you're going through and it most def has to be all the hormones being released back into the bodies. :) stay positive. Everything will turn out for the best!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×