Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Telling Family About Gastric Sleeve, Feeling Uneasy!



Recommended Posts

So today I told my dad and sister that I'm in the process to get the sleeve. I wasn't going to tell anyone, but that got hard and I never intended it to be a secret. I need all the support I can get and the stress of keeping it to myself was really getting to me! So I decided to at least tell them, my dad was hesitant but I expected that. I think he'll put his doubts aside and support me as I go through the process. My sister was ok, didn't say too much but asked questions and such. I figured I'd feel better getting it off my chest but for some reason I kind of regret telling them! I don't know why I'm feeling this way because the response wasn't negative. It just feels different, like they will support me but they don't get why I'm doing this, or really care. Maybe I'm just sensitive because this is a huge change in my life and I'm super excited about it. So has anyone else had an experience like this? Or how did you deal with telling family or not telling family? I really appreciate any input! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey there, I was sleeved a week ago so I have had some experience with a variety of reactions. When I told my mother she was very supportive. She's a heavy woman, so she gets it. Luckily, I live in a different country than my parents so she was delegated the task of telling my father. He asks questions when we talk but seems more curious than anything else. No judgement. My brother...well, he screamed at me!! What are you doing that for? You won't lose any weight that way...etc. We actually fought about it. I'm still not sure why he had such a negative reaction. He is now supportive and jokes that if all goes well with me, he might be next. I have two best friends. One is heavy, the other is not. As you can imagine the heavy friend was super excited and even admitted to being envious. The other didn't think I needed the surgery and said...I wish I could see what you see when you look in the mirror and slap it out of you!! (She has a crazy sense of humor) But, I explained to her that it is hard for her to understand being a size six and all. She asks how I am doing as I am still healing but it is now a non-issue.

In the end, this decision was for me. Their opinions and feelings about it are just that, theirs.

They are your family and they love you and when you need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to complain to, they will provide. Just focus on your new life. You will be so happy once all is said and done and you know what? Happiness is contagious!!

Take care!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I only told family and very close friends - so many people have a strong opinion on WLS and want to offer advice. A few people have guessed because I'm losing the weight, but I felt it was for my well being not to have people judge me, etc.

I hope you guys have great success - I'm six weeks post-op and have lost about 38 pounds - I hit a stall for three weeks. Had surgery 10/13/11, but since July 2011 I've lost 60 pounds. I was able to eat a little Thanksgiving food yesterday but I preferred the fresh items over anything heavy :-)

Good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey, I am having a similar issue with my family. I am in the very early stages of planning for my sleeve (like still need blood work and to talk to the psychologist). I told my mom, who had gastric bypass 2years ago and has lost over 100 pounds. As you can imagine she was thrilled got

me. But when I told my husband he thought I wad crazy. He says I shouldn't mess with my insides and thinks I should keep trying to lose the "natural way." but being diagnosed with pcos I feel I have run out of options and don't want to keep going like this. As many people have said, it is your choice for your life. And you only get one life. In the end, when everyone seen the massive change in your life for the better, only then will they understand why you did it. Good luck to you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi there! I just received insurance authorization Wednesday and am super excited. When I began the process, my husband was totally supportive and continues to be. My mother and brother were very nonchalant, which somewhat bothered me. My closest friends have been very supportive. Like the others have said, in the end, it's nice to hear opinions; however, this is your life. Those that love you will eventually come around when they see how happy you are. I thought everyone would be as excited as I was, but I have now concluded that my excitement should outshine everyone else's because this is ultimately for me! Good luck and don't take it too personally. I'm super sensitive and felt very similar early on.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for all your input and sharing your experiences, It really helps to know you guys understand and have been in similar situations! Deeply appreciated :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think it's a very personal medical procedure and I have only told my husband, mom and sister. I don't plan to tell my workout friends at my gym unless they specifically ask if I've had it done. If they ask me, I will tell them, if not I will keep it to myself. I have three grown children and I will not tell them either.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

how long did it take to get approved?

Hi there! I just received insurance authorization Wednesday and am super excited. When I began the process, my husband was totally supportive and continues to be. My mother and brother were very nonchalant, which somewhat bothered me. My closest friends have been very supportive. Like the others have said, in the end, it's nice to hear opinions; however, this is your life. Those that love you will eventually come around when they see how happy you are. I thought everyone would be as excited as I was, but I have now concluded that my excitement should outshine everyone else's because this is ultimately for me! Good luck and don't take it too personally. I'm super sensitive and felt very similar early on.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

how long did it take to get approved?

My information was submitted on a Wednesday and I received an approval the following Wednesday, so a week. I began the process back in March, but had 6 months of supervised weight assessments, psych eval, and nutritionist.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i meet my surgeon on tuesday & thursday is my 6month mark!!! im praying to be sleeved by dec 20th!

My information was submitted on a Wednesday and I received an approval the following Wednesday, so a week. I began the process back in March, but had 6 months of supervised weight assessments, psych eval, and nutritionist.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i meet my surgeon on tuesday & thursday is my 6month mark!!! im praying to be sleeved by dec 20th!

I really hope to be sleeved by the 16th. I ambitiously have planned a trip for NYE, which means being airplane ready. So hopefully I won't be in pain, wee too much pain by then. The airplane isn't the problem. I spend 2 to 3 days a week on a plane, for the last 2 years The movement is my biggest concern. Once I completed the 6 mos back in September, I was super ready. But, I hadn't finished with the nutrition meetings. I really believe I'm really gonna ,are myself sick with anticipation. I have to go Friday to pay and there isn't a pre op diet I'm aware of and the counselor has confirmed that once this is done, I should I have a date the next week

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i completed all my testing & submitted everything that needed to be completed. i assume that ill be getting my surgery date tuesday! i cant believe it!!

as far as flying, have u spoken to ur surgeon or dr about that? i read once that airplane rides can give you bloodclots & you def wanna be cleared for flying.

good luck to you! <3

I really hope to be sleeved by the 16th. I ambitiously have planned a trip for NYE, which means being airplane ready. So hopefully I won't be in pain, wee too much pain by then. The airplane isn't the problem. I spend 2 to 3 days a week on a plane, for the last 2 years The movement is my biggest concern. Once I completed the 6 mos back in September, I was super ready. But, I hadn't finished with the nutrition meetings. I really believe I'm really gonna ,are myself sick with anticipation. I have to go Friday to pay and there isn't a pre op diet I'm aware of and the counselor has confirmed that once this is done, I should I have a date the next week

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i completed all my testing & submitted everything that needed to be completed. i assume that ill be getting my surgery date tuesday! i cant believe it!!

as far as flying, have u spoken to ur surgeon or dr about that? i read once that airplane rides can give you bloodclots & you def wanna be cleared for flying.

good luck to you! <3

You are right. My dr is aware of my profession and all the travel involved, including air travel and told me 2 weeks would be fine. Of course I'm gonna take more time if I need it. This is just a little getaway for me and the hubby, but we are always getting away with all my travel, so it can be rescheduled. Luckily, I won't be back at work until the first of the year and I work from home so no biggie. I don't have any work air travel scheduled until the second week of January.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

oh ok! then u should be good! drs know best! :)

i work with kids so i would love to be sleeved either dec 19th or 20th so that i can automatically have off the following week! it just works out perfectly!! im praying

You are right. My dr is aware of my profession and all the travel involved, including air travel and told me 2 weeks would be fine. Of course I'm gonna take more time if I need it. This is just a little getaway for me and the hubby, but we are always getting away with all my travel, so it can be rescheduled. Luckily, I won't be back at work until the first of the year and I work from home so no biggie. I don't have any work air travel scheduled until the second week of January.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I told my family and in-laws, I got the exact opposite reaction from each of them than I expected. Those who have generally been positive and supportive were pretty negative, and the ones that I thought would be hard on me were just very accepting and curious. Go figure!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×