So I didn't go to my ballet class for about a month because I was sick and then super-busy with school. I walk in today wearing a leotard and leggings - probably my most form-fitting outfit for class to date. There's like 20 other people there and my teacher is like "BBJ! We haven't seen you here in a while!" I'm like, "Yeah, sorry, I was sick and then busy with stuff." She's like, "SO WHAT DID YOU DO TO LOSE ALL THIS WEIGHT!?" And then EVERYONE stared at me, waiting for my answer. It made me feel so uncomfortable! My teacher is very nice and she totally meant it well, she wasn't calling me out, but it was such an awkward situation for me! I almost blurted out that I had WLS, then I thought better of it (I have to conceal it from people at school for various reasons), so I just said I'm eating less.

*everyone still staring*

Which is true, I suppose! But then she started asking me if my portions are smaller or if I'm eating less junk, or if I'm also exercising more...

*everyone still staring*

Then she's like, "I just can't believe how much you've changed! When I think back to how you looked in September compared to now, I'm just blown away!"

*EVERYONE STILL STARING*

*worst 5 minutes of the entire week*

I'm blogging too but I'm not giving out my blog to people at work (with a couple of exceptions). I see no reason my work needs to know what I have had done. If they notice I'm losing weight, I just say that I'm on a medically supervised diet and that's it.

Wow, you handled that very well. I am still pre-op, but I have already started deciding what to tell people. I have decided that I am going to tell them "portion control, exercise and no sugars/empty carbs". In actuality, that is true. It is none of their business. I know a lot of people are very open about it, and that is great. I personally have made the decision to keep this private. My close friends and family know, but I do not feel like I need to advertise my decision to the world. People seem to take it as an invitation to voice their opinion. It is similar to being pregnant. When women are walking around pregnant people seem to take that woman's pregnancy as an invitation for advice, criticisms and opinions. I don't need or want random people's advice or opinions on my surgery. This is a journey that I've decided to take and I want to select whose opinions I want to hear.

It seems that some people who have WLS are very proud of it and tell anyone that they can about it. That is great for them, but it seems like sometimes those people criticize those of us who keep it more private and their reasoning is that this is not something to hide. I think it is each person's decision whether or not they want to advertise it or keep it private. I don't think it's some big guilty secret or anything, I just don't feel the need to tell every person that I come into contact with. My boss is a very judgmental person and is constantly talking about other people, so I will actually be telling her that I am going in for a gallbladder removal when I go have my surgery. I'm sure eventually she will figure it out, but I think recovery is going to be hard enough without having people casting their judgments or throwing their unwanted opinion out there.

I am a more private person anyway. Someday I may be more open about it and tell more people but for now, I like having my little exclusive group of people. I have chosen to tell people that are very close to me and will be very positive throughout the whole experience. My own little cheering section.

If ppl weren't close enough to me to tell me I was getting porky, then they aren't close enough for me to discuss my medical issues with either. It's frankly noone's business but mine. I told my family, and my close girlfriends, and that is it. I have found relative strangers at work have no trouble asking, loudly, in front of a whole room, how on EARTH I lost so much weight.. and when I say eating less and exercising more, they really grill me - weight watchers? nutrisystem? what plan? I say high Protein, modified south beach diet, which is also true.. but I find it mortifying to discuss in a professional setting. Same when people ask HOW MUCH WEIGHT HAVE YOU LOST!? Um.. how about.. none of your business? I don't really feel the need to advertise that info.

I have found the best way to answer that is to look shocked and kind of stammer out "Um, gee, that's a personal question!!".. and people back off. If not, I say "a lot" and leave it at that.

PS: I love how people say "Emily! You've lost so much weight!"... did they think it fell off and I didn't notice? heh

I'm blogging too but I'm not giving out my blog to people at work (with a couple of exceptions). I see no reason my work needs to know what I have had done. If they notice I'm losing weight, I just say that I'm on a medically supervised diet and that's it.

I agree with you 100%. I don't work outside the home so in that way I'm fortunate. In fact I'm extremely socially phobic in person so I don't deal with people at all and I won't be asked this question. I totally understand your reasons and your answer is very honest and straightforward. It's all the information anyone "needs" to know.

Renee`

My boss is a very judgmental person and is constantly talking about other people, so I will actually be telling her that I am going in for a gallbladder removal when I go have my surgery. I'm sure eventually she will figure it out, but I think recovery is going to be hard enough without having people casting their judgments or throwing their unwanted opinion out there.

I thought of doing this too but then... what happens if you actually NEED your gallbladder out later down the road?

I thought of doing this too but then... what happens if you actually NEED your gallbladder out later down the road?

lol!! I thought about that. I think if that happened I would just have to make up another surgery to tell her about, then hope I don't need that one, too! Yikes... Kidney stones? Donating a kidney? Yeah, kidney sounds good. Something with a kidney. lol.

You can have a gallstone even without a gallbladder. It's rare but it happens! LOL

I think I will tell people the same about portion control, etc but think we could get away with my stomach has gotten smaller? hehehe!! I have told my mom, husband, kids, a few friends, sister in law and I work from home so with any luck the fact that work people only see me once a month at the most they will not see the week by week things. If they ask though, I will tell them. My biggest thing is explaining the sleeve - lap band and RNY have a big stigma of failure around here so I don't want them thinking I had those!

I understand how you feel. When I had to let people know I would be off two weeks from work some people asked why. To a few of the people I explained the surgery I was having. Both of the women are overweight and I thought they would understand especially since I have health issues and a lot of pain with Fibro among other ailments that I am hoping will be lessened if not gone by having the surgery, not to mention the energy I will gain.

From their attitude I don't know if they were jealous or felt like wow is she that lazy that she just doesn't work out to lose the weight, I don't know. The comments were not as supportive as I had hoped they would be.

Now when people ask, I try my best to not mention why I will be out or try to be as vague as possible but boy are people pushy. People just don't understand and think it is just a vanity issue or cosmetic reasons and it truly is not, I want my life back and people just do not understand. Thank God I have a supportive Husband.

u can say that again

Everyone wanted to know where I was...2 of the docs had the nerve to say I guess you aren't gonna tell us what kinda surgery u had....how nosy...I should've said a hysterectomy. the nerve

I am having my surgery next week and will be out of work for a month. Personally, I am not making grand announcements but have not told all those around me. Because of the amount I have to lose I'm wondering if in that month I will see a significant change by the time I go back. I think as the weight comes off and people ask how I did it I will look them right in the eye, smile and say....hacksaw. If people are genuinely interested in surgery I will not hesitate to discuss what I did but so often people ask then turn around and talk smack behind your back so the hacksaw comment may be the first line of defense.

Hi-I have been out 6 weeks...

lost 3 sizes since surgery...

I told them- it was GI surgery... (kept it generally)

one person knows- hoping she keeps quiet- but no big deal if she doesn't...

it's done... it happened... FMLA protects us...

I personally didn't tell people the story- one will say something and another will blow it out of proportion... next thing ya know I had cancer...

the thing is- when people ask me to taste something I will decline...

some take it personally, at this point 3 tastes is my meal...

can you work feeling stuffed like that? I can't..

I am gonna work on a transfer soon anyways... I want to be far away from food as possible!

BBJ I think you came through that ordeal with flying colors!! I was worried about this same thing so I practiced what I was going to say to everyone ahead of time.

I only told my hubby and my kids what I was really having done. For everyone else I told them I was having gallbladder surgery and they were going to fix my ulcers (which I really do have from my high stress job) However, I looked up laparoscopic procedures and found out that the incisions and post op diets are almost identical so I went with that

As I lose more and more weight I will have to adjust the story and am planning to say that I liked how much weight I lost after the surgery that I decided to stick with it . Now my stomach has shrunk enough that I really am not feeling deprived anymore. It may seem like I am going way out of my way here but I travel a lot and have contact with a lot of people every day so I know the questions will be coming and I am trying to be as pro-active as I can about it

I lived these kind of moments the last 3 years since I had the surgery

My answer is the same: i do gym and i eat less, try if you don`t believe me

I told only to the fat people, maybe some of them will do the surgery too

Why awkward? I feel good and proud! You should feel it too

When this happens to me, I ALWAYS turn it back to them. . . . here is a typical conversation

Person: Oh you look great! You lost a lot of weight!

Me: Thanks, you look great too. . . what are you doing? How did you do it? Please share the secrets. . . .

That usually stops that in it's tracks. . . . and if not, well I change the subject very very quickly. . .

Yes, so awkward! But better someone blurting out, "how did you lose all that weight?!" rather than, "wow! You've gained a lot of weight!". My great grandma (in her upper 80's) never fails to mention EACH AND EVERYTIME she sees me how fat I am. lol. She's so cute when she says it though...in her weeble little voice, "girl, you just so fat...look at those fat legs..." lol. Love her to death, but I would love for her to say the opposite. "Girl, you just so skinny, look at those skinny legs!". Hopefully she will get to see me some time after the sugergy and my dreams will finally come true!

But seriously, I think the whole WLS is a private decision and shouldn't be shared unless you want to. I, myself, have been conditioning my co-workers to know that I am "on a diet" and have started making Protein shakes in the breakroom at work during my pre-op dieting JUST so it won't be so strange that I eat very little AFTER my surgery. Yes, I know that's a lot of prep, but I'd rather not have anybody put me in an awkward situation like the one above. At least when they see i'm only drinking shakes and sipping on Water, they'll kind of already have an answer on their own for whatever questions they have in their heads lol. My way may not be the best way for everybody, but it works for me!

Good luck everyone w/ your experiences!