So I didn't go to my ballet class for about a month because I was sick and then super-busy with school. I walk in today wearing a leotard and leggings - probably my most form-fitting outfit for class to date. There's like 20 other people there and my teacher is like "BBJ! We haven't seen you here in a while!" I'm like, "Yeah, sorry, I was sick and then busy with stuff." She's like, "SO WHAT DID YOU DO TO LOSE ALL THIS WEIGHT!?" And then EVERYONE stared at me, waiting for my answer. It made me feel so uncomfortable! My teacher is very nice and she totally meant it well, she wasn't calling me out, but it was such an awkward situation for me! I almost blurted out that I had WLS, then I thought better of it (I have to conceal it from people at school for various reasons), so I just said I'm eating less.

*everyone still staring*

Which is true, I suppose! But then she started asking me if my portions are smaller or if I'm eating less junk, or if I'm also exercising more...

*everyone still staring*

Then she's like, "I just can't believe how much you've changed! When I think back to how you looked in September compared to now, I'm just blown away!"

*EVERYONE STILL STARING*

*worst 5 minutes of the entire week*

Oh no! That would be horrifying. Totally different situation when you are in a one-on-one kind of conversation, but completely different when you are in FRONT of a whole group of people.

I guess take it as a compliment?

Curious, if you don't mind sharing or can share, why you have to conceal it at school.

Curious, if you don't mind sharing or can share, why you have to conceal it at school.

Well, the biggest issue is that I receive lots of financial aid and we have a small group of very vocal and very rich students who are very anti-financial aid because they don't think anyone could ever possibly not have their parents pay for everything when they are 25. I mean, someone actually bragged at a birthday party that they don't own "a single item of clothing under $500." If one of them found out I went to Mexico and paid out of pocket (with credit, mind you), they'd never leave me alone.

Well, the biggest issue is that I receive lots of financial aid and we have a small group of very vocal and very rich students who are very anti-financial aid because they don't think anyone could ever possibly not have their parents pay for everything when they are 25. I mean, someone actually bragged at a birthday party that they don't own "a single item of clothing under $500." If one of them found out I went to Mexico and paid out of pocket (with credit, mind you), they'd never leave me alone.

What!? 25 year olds are not entitled to have everything paid for by Mommy and Daddy? LOL. Yes I see where that could be a difficult situation. It's too bad because I bet you would appreciate the opportunity to be honest with them and tell them how successful you've been.

Not to be snarky, but you are hiding it from a group of 25 year old rich kids? They are a particularly judgment passing group, but I see a great teaching moment for the real world. Sounds like you are the only adult of the group!

I understand how you feel. When I had to let people know I would be off two weeks from work some people asked why. To a few of the people I explained the surgery I was having. Both of the women are overweight and I thought they would understand especially since I have health issues and a lot of pain with Fibro among other ailments that I am hoping will be lessened if not gone by having the surgery, not to mention the energy I will gain.

From their attitude I don't know if they were jealous or felt like wow is she that lazy that she just doesn't work out to lose the weight, I don't know. The comments were not as supportive as I had hoped they would be.

Now when people ask, I try my best to not mention why I will be out or try to be as vague as possible but boy are people pushy. People just don't understand and think it is just a vanity issue or cosmetic reasons and it truly is not, I want my life back and people just do not understand. Thank God I have a supportive Husband.

BBJ I agree what a really awkward moment. I guess I am going to have to practice answers in my head when I see people I have not seen in ages and they ask me the same types of questions. I agree it is best not to let any one at school know. You have to be around them throughout the week and it would be difficult if they were opposed to what you did.

That is my worst nightmare. I think you handled it very well.

BBJ, I think you handled that incident well. I am already thinking of how I am going to arrange my time off from work, knowing that when I come back I will have lost weight and will have to deal with all of the same questions. I am ready though. I have found that when you share information with others they are either jealous or negative. These are two types of people I can not stand to be around. I feel that we all make the choice to change our lives for our own specific reasons. It's really no ones business and you don't owe anyone an explanation. I think sticking to the replies "eating less and working out" are enough to offer as an explanation. Nobody wants their business spread in a negative manner. Youhave enough to deal with with your life change. I commend you for your courage! Keep up the good work and let the "Haters" keep hating!

I am keeping it a secret from my hubby's family (very nosy and opinionated) and my friends. I am keeping it from my friends because one of them had the band done a year or more ago and was totally noncompliant and hasn't lost a pound. We could go out to dinner and she would eat an appetizer, entree with salad and dessert and drinks. She's been kinda bitter about it and blames the band for not working. I just don't even want to go there with them yet. I plan on mentioning it after surgery.

Totaly awkward, but you handled it as well as you could. I am all about privacy. No one knows about this except my partner and my mom. This is a medical matter and I wouldn't tell everyone if I had any other type of surgery either. Tell them the truth - you eat less and you eat healthy food. Other than that, it is no ones business.

I know some people on the board don't think it should be a secret, but I don't want to share it with anyone. I don't need people talking about it behind my back, I don't need people expecting me to lose more weight, it's my business and that's it.

No one knew I had the lap-band either and I managed to keep it a secret for almost 4 years.

Good for you that you are looking so good!!!!!! We have similar starting BMI and I am really inspired by your success.

I plan to tell people the truth.... portion control, high Protein and low carb... plus lots of exercise No need to throw in the fact that I had surgery. I will not be ashamed of it (I haven't had it yet) but I am a very private person. I wouldn't discus any surgery that I would need to have, and I don't feel like this is any different. I think you did a great job handling the situation! I am a bit younger than you (20) but I can definitely understand the whole being in a group of really "well off" people, students especially, who get everything from mommy and daddy. I went (took a year off) to a private Catholic Uni in NJ on a partial scholarship (it covered everything but housing...) but most people there paid out of pocket. The way they behaved towards money was ridiculous. If they ever found out the truth I don't even want to begin with the type of comments they could come up with. Luckily for me my mom and my closest friends are very, very supportive.

Good luck

I'm so sorry for dragging this post back up but I JUST saw it (way to go Renee for not reading ALL the threads on the forum lol). I plan to tell people that my family runs a drug cartel and that I just found out that speed does wonders for my metabolism.

Seriously though, WHY would anyone have so little manners as to question you when you're doing good things for your body? Jealous much?! gah, I wanna go back in time and be with you so I can punch them in the nose for you!

*hugs*

Renee`

I'm so sorry for dragging this post back up but I JUST saw it (way to go Renee for not reading ALL the threads on the forum lol). I plan to tell people that my family runs a drug cartel and that I just found out that speed does wonders for my metabolism.

Seriously though, WHY would anyone have so little manners as to question you when you're doing good things for your body? Jealous much?! gah, I wanna go back in time and be with you so I can punch them in the nose for you!

*hugs*

Renee`

Renee,

I think this is still an important thread for To-Be Sleevers or recent Sleevers. I am not telling anyone at work. My close family, and friends know and that is it! No one else needs to know... I am very firm in that belief.

I really like the drug catel reply. I could picture some uptight co-workers choking on their sparkling Water when I say that... bawhahaha! I plan on replying with the truth - hard work! Outside of that, they are on a need-to-know basis and well, they dont need to know

Which is exactly what they should be doing for asking such a nosey question. I'm going to tell people the truth about it, but only because I'm blogging it all to hopefully help others out there. Aside from that, you're right it's very personal and no ones business.

Renee`