I was banded recently, and am losing a lot of weight, but have a long way to go. My husband hasn't really been interested in sex for years. I've always suspected it's because of my weight--at my heaviest, I was nearly 100 lbs. more than when we got married. He swears it's not my weight, but I think that's just to protect my feelings. Now I'm worried, what if I get thin, and he still doesn't want to have sex? What have your experiences been? As you've lost weight, have your husbands/boyfriends/girlfriends/s.o.s gotten more interested in sex?

Can't speak for your hubby. Maybe there's something else going on with him that has nothing to do with you. I can tell you that the more weight I lose the more sex I want!

I can't tell you from my experience since I got divorced just before getting banded, but from what a have noticed, a lot of women seem to get pregnant once the weight starts coming off, so it is safe to assume that sex took place lol. To be honest, deep down you will know if the lack of sex is due to your weight or other factors. My advice, don't make assumptions, if you lose weight and sex is still not happening don't be afraid of asking your husband what the issue is. Men are not mind readers, if women don't tell us what is wrong, we usually go on believing everything is fine the way it is.

Hope this helps

I agree with Captain_Morgan that you need to let him know how you feel, otherwise he could just continue being Mr. Oblivious....I was scared at first that it was my weight with my Fiance' but turned out he was just a bit inexperience and shy at first (and had never been with a bigger girls, so was unsure how to "treat" me), and once I "taught" him and he got over being shy it got better....But then he still was less interested in sex then me... turned out that it had nothing to do with me (because I later found out he is addicted to my butt and legs LOL since big girls have great T&A, of course ) it's just that his "junk" doesn't work too well anymore and he is embarrassed about it and scared that he will just disappoint me if he tries. When I spoke up again about it, this time I told him that I love him no matter what and sex just gets better and better now. I know it will get CRAZY better as I lose the weight too

Besides.... sometimes all it takes is teachin' them just how good big girls can really be if given the chance you just gotta learn how to work with your curves, so he can learn how to love'em!

And hey... soon you won't even have to bother doing that!

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Open up a line of communication. If it is not about the weight, different things can change a man's libido as he ages: medical issues, depression, stress, medication, low testosterone. I would have to say that it is unusual for a man to not want to have sex. There is a reason that viagra and similar pills are a multimillion dollar business. He should talk to his doctor about it and they should check his testosterone level.

I've lost 43 pounds in 4 months, which I think is pretty substantial, so I figured my fiance would be jumping me at every opportunity. My libido has gotten pretty low due to the weight loss (that can happen sometimes due to hormones), but his hasn't increased at all. His has been pretty low to begin with (for a guy anyway) and I thought that shedding all this ugly fat would make him want me more. If anything, we're having sex less. I confronted him about it today and asked if he wasn't attracted to me anymore. Better to know now than after we get married, right?

He insisted that he is so happy being in a relationship with me that he doesn't feel the need to have sex with me all the time, because he is so satisfied with every other aspect of our relationship. I didn't believe him at first, because what guy in their right mind doesn't want to have sex all the time? I'm a little jealous of other women bandsters who say they're having sex almost every day now and their s.o. can't keep their hands off of her, but I can't rely on my fiance's libido (or lack thereof) to make me feel sexy and good about myself. Hopefully your husband will feel differently, and if not, pipe up and talk to him. Good luck!

Hey Peach

I'm going thru kind of the same thing right now but a small blue pill does the trick almost every time.

I find that my libido has increased but my poor husband is having the ED issue and is afraid of disappointing me so he doesn't even try sometimes. We have a great marriage and have always been compatible in the bedroom area so it can be a bit of a strain on us. Open communication is really the key and the more you talk about it the better.

Now I am in my late forties and I was married 7 years ago. I would say the last 6 years the sex had been on a decline. Now it's almost nonexisitent more or less. When we were dating my hubby said he wasn't attracted to heavy set women. I was 190 at the time and I said "Well I am not exactly skinny" and he said I was perfect. SInce then I have gained anywhere from 50-70 pounds-slowly but surely. He also gained around 40 pounds (but he's 6'4). He also is on back pain mes so I think that effects him too.

I am really hoping that once my weight comes off our sex life will get a lot better. If not, then we will have to find out what medical issues there are.

Hey Peach

I'm going thru kind of the same thing right now but a small blue pill does the trick almost every time.

I find that my libido has increased but my poor husband is having the ED issue and is afraid of disappointing me so he doesn't even try sometimes. We have a great marriage and have always been compatible in the bedroom area so it can be a bit of a strain on us. Open communication is really the key and the more you talk about it the better.

Yes, for sure talking has made a world of difference! If I hadn't spoke up years ago, I would still be frustrated every night and thinking it was me, me, me. We are looking into raising his testosterone levels in natural, alternative ways and seeing how that works. If that fails, then we go to the stronger stuff but now I at least know he wants it and tries every time. I do know, though that sex will be WAY easier once the weight is gone. It's exercise! And throwing around 300lbs is not easy. I can't wait to throw around 150 instead!

I am 43 and have lost 60 pounds (5’6’’ 220 to 160 lbs). Yes my husband wants to have way more sex. Before it was about 1x a week. Now he would go 3-4x. It’s a problem because I have not changed in my needs. Maybe once he gets used to my new body it will chill out?