question for other sleevers about self image

[noname 4]

tonight I went out with alot of people I havent seen since my op for a 21st, I can tell I have lost alot of weight just by clothes I wear having to be replaced etc and people say, especially tonight, but does anyone still see themselves in the mirror they way they did pre surgery? Lots of photos were taken tonight, and looking at them logically I can see a big change in them, but when it comes to me looking at me in the mirror I still see the big guy I once was, I have stated to people I just cant see it, they think Im nutty, but I just cant.

Also on a side note, dont you hate when people say, "Wow you look so good.... not that you didnt look good before":blushing:

[thinoneday 445]

I totally understand you! I'm the same way. . yes it was fun in the beginning to hear "wow you look good", now it's sickening and i don't like it. . .i still see the fat girl i was and have actually gone on "dieting" restricting as i used to. . .yesterday i started the gym again cause i have to "loose weight" you know. . .my friends say that my brain hasn't caught up with my body yet and that could be the problem. . my family says "nothing will make you happy". . .I say "leave me be". . . ugh. . . but i totally understand you and can relate in a big way!

[Tiffykins 672]

It took a long time for my head to catch up to my body. I no longer really see the fat chick. Sometimes, I have to do a double take if I'm walking by a window in a shopping plaza, or by a mirror because it's kind of still weird seeing myself so small.

But, I have let go of the fat girl for the most part, and tried to move forward, accept my new body, and be grateful to be on the other side. It's a taken several months, and a huge change in clothing sizes, but it's all coming together. Sometimes, I still reach for a large top, or size 8 bottoms, it's habit because I'm still kind of scared that I'm not going to fit into something. I'm wearing a size 3/4 to a 5/6 in pants, and a small sometimes medium on tops. I'm still shocked when I try stuff on, and it swallows me. I have to go get the next smaller size, and sometimes I'm still amazed that I'm able to wear things comfortably.

[MINI-Me 196]

I totally understand where you are coming from. I have never been very good at taking compliments. And, this is no exception. I think I've hurt my husband's feelings a few times. He'll say "WOW! I have to do a double take when I see you looking so skinny." What do I do? I point out my flaws and say "I'm not skinny - I have more to go."

Why do we do this? Why can't we see our new bodies the way they are? I went from an 18W to a 10 (almost 8) in less than 5 months - there IS a BIG difference. Why can't I see it?

[possumtrot 2]

Not a sleever yet (hopefully soon!) but at one point I did lose a significant amount of weight (went from a 22W to size 8) and I can tell you that although I knew I was much much thinner, my self-image was wrapped up in being the fat chick and I still felt huge. I managed to keep the weight off for a few months before it started creeping back on and honestly I did not really notice the weight was coming back until about 20 lbs had rejoined my bod. Now that I am 275 I don't feel that huge and again, when I look in the mirror I don't see a morbidly obese woman, but I know I am. It's odd that the brain does this...cannot see how large I am yet when I was skinny couldn't truly come to terms with recognizing that fact either.

That is why I'm committed to having counselling while I go through my sleeve process. It is available through my employer and I will be using it so that I don't pay out all this money, lose the weight then screw it all up because my head isn't on straight.

Keep going with what your're doing OP. Maybe it just takes more time to come to terms with identifying as being that thin person instead of the years of being the overweight person. I have never been able to keep the weight off long enough to come to that conclusion, hence the therapy.

[Lori21769 14]

I have never in my life been thin, so my head is really struggling with the mirror. I have not set a goal weight yet, and none has been set for me.

So far, I have lost 45 lbs, and I am not seeing a difference. I'm tall, so maybe it will take longer for it to show. Well- actually the difference I am seeing is not pretty. Celulite like I have never seen before on my thighs... ICK. I hope that gets better.

[thinoneday 445]

Wow, i've just read a post of mine on this thread and let me tell you my self image has definately changed. . . i see myself a less fat now, yes i still weigh in the 200's but at 6 feet tall, it looks pretty good. . .i wear size 16/17. .(18 is a bit big) wow. . . I used to wear 28/32!!! I now look at fat people way differently and know that i shouldn't cause i used to be there myself. . . but i look at it this way, we were all given brains to use and make decisions, I made the right decision to have this surgery I just feel quilty that i didn't use my talent before this time. . . oh well at least i used it wisely. . . . good luck to everyone here!

[sleevesearch 14]

When I see myself in the mirror, I do notice the changes, and getting smaller clothes really makes me notice the changes in me (into a 12 now). BUT, when I've seen recent pictures of myself, I still see the fat girl, I think I look the same as at my fattest. I hate getting my pic taken, and I would like to get over that.

[Rootman 1,101]

I'm weird, I always had a self image of myself as being thin and was always shocked when I saw myself in the mirror as a fat guy - shocked and disgusted.

I can see the thin me creeping out slowly although I have 135 lbs to go. I wonder if I will be shocked seeing a thin me or just finally reconcile my self image to the truth?

BTW: I was thin till marriage and dieted 3 times but have to say for the past 30 years I've been fat for 26 of them.

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,281]

Wow, i've just read a post of mine on this thread and let me tell you my self image has definately changed. . . i see myself a less fat now, yes i still weigh in the 200's but at 6 feet tall, it looks pretty good. . .i wear size 16/17. .(18 is a bit big) wow. . . I used to wear 28/32!!! I now look at fat people way differently and know that i shouldn't cause i used to be there myself. . . but i look at it this way, we were all given brains to use and make decisions, I made the right decision to have this surgery I just feel quilty that i didn't use my talent before this time. . . oh well at least i used it wisely. . . . good luck to everyone here!

This deserves a Congratulations!!

It's sooo difficult to see the differences in the mirror. However it worked in my favor as I was going up. I still saw that cute skinny girl. I never seen how truly fat I was. I guess that's why it was so easy to lie to myself and continue to get bigger and bigger.

The pictures are another story though. I saw the fat there and I see the differences now. I like pictures a lot better that's for sure!!!

Regarding the view of other obese people. I regrettably notice I do this too. I don't mean it in a bad way. I just want to reach out to them and shake them and say... hey... there IS hope for you!!! Especially when I see them eating so much food... Of course I would never, that would be terribly rude of me. But best be darned tootin I am thinking it...

[JaspersGirl 147]

i still see the fatty girl!!! i am 74lbs lighter but still see the over weight chick.. makes me ultra depressed! no motivation at all!!

[pammycakes 114]

I have went from a size18/20 to a 10 in 4 months. I still see the double chin, multi bellies and huge arms when I look in the mirror or see pictures! I am only 4mo post open and really was hoping that the "fat eyes" eventually goes away. Can any of you out there further out from surgery let me know if ever goes away

[skane10 64]

I was able to eventually see the thin girl but I still freak out when I walk past a window and catch a reflection of myself and see this tiny person. I went from an 18 to a size 4. Recently bought a pair of size 2 shorts and was shocked when they fit. I'll shop for clothes and hold up jeans thinking they won't fit and yet they do. The shock factor still hasn't worn off a year after surgery.

[allmyjoy 21]

To me looking at pictures helps see the new me!

[BeagleLover 1,020]

This deserves a Congratulations!!

It's sooo difficult to see the differences in the mirror. However it worked in my favor as I was going up. I still saw that cute skinny girl. I never seen how truly fat I was. I guess that's why it was so easy to lie to myself and continue to get bigger and bigger.

The pictures are another story though. I saw the fat there and I see the differences now. I like pictures a lot better that's for sure!!!

Regarding the view of other obese people. I regrettably notice I do this too. I don't mean it in a bad way. I just want to reach out to them and shake them and say... hey... there IS hope for you!!! Especially when I see them eating so much food... Of course I would never, that would be terribly rude of me. But best be darned tootin I am thinking it...

My primary doctor discouraged me from having WLS, talking about how "he would have to pick up the pieces... they're not going to take care of you afterwards." It was all about him. Unfortunately, with his being so adamant about it being a bad idea, I dropped it. I still wasn't able to lose weight and keep it off and eventually got diabetes.

I also notice people that are very heavy. I see them as ticking time bombs, so far, going down the path destined to lead to a much shorter life. I think of the people that love them, frequently with them, that will be in absolute misery if this person died. I carry around doctor's cards from the hospital in which I'll be getting my surgery. I write a short note about why I'm giving them the card, including that my doctor didn't tell me; I feel as though I need to let them know. I also write the URL of Bariatric Pal on the card. Although it scares me to death to do this, I stop them and talk to them awhile, telling them there is help out there. I apologize, hoping I didn't offend them. To be honest, I chicken out as many times as I've done this. I've only received positive feedback and thanks.

Edited September 19, 2014 by BeagleLover