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Self Doubt: I need a pep talk!



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Do you ever get overwhelmed by how far you have to go? In my case, I've lost 40 lbs in six months (which is great, don't get me wrong!) but I still have about 75 lbs to go to get to the top of my healthy BMI range. It seems like an awfully big mountain to climb, and I'm prone to self doubt. I'm not talking about quitting or giving up, but I frequently ask myself if I can really pull this off... I've lost and regained this same 40-50 pounds so many times before, and I've never been able to crack 230. The last time I was under 230 was my sophomore year of high school, 17 years ago. Also, I just had to have a little bit of Fluid taken out of my band because I was having heartburn and reflux issues, along with getting stuck. I have less restriction now, and I can certainly eat more if I want to, and I'm afraid I'll self sabotage. Have you been there? How do you beat back your self doubt and the enormity of the task ahead?

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You CAN do it! What helps me the most is looking at pictures of myself 8 months ago and seeing the change. I don't see it in the mirror so much, but I do see it in pictures. Also, take your measurements every few months and you'll be amazed at the changes going on. Hang in there girlie- you got this! :)

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Don't think about where your going, think about where you have been! Even if you have lost weight several times, maybe it wasn't the right way or a method to keep it off. With the band you have to make certain dietary changes. I don't think of it as a diet; I had to make lifestyle changes forever. Sit down and look at what your eating and usually you can find what is stalling your weight loss. Attend a support group , talk to your surgeon or bariatric nurse . I did have thoughts along the way doubting myself, but I did alot of research beforehand and knew this would work. I started at 258 and have not been under 200pounds for YEARS. I am currently 182 and as long as I think about how far I e come I can stay focused. Stay connected on here..it's a great motivator! You can do it. :0)

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Steph is right, photo help, I read a great book by Ann Lamott, she reminds us that we have two type of voices in our head, one that tell us how successful, wonderful , beautiful, and committed we are.. The other voice, well it is the voice that put us down, reminds us of our failures and want to shame us... Well Lamott just has a trick, identify the particular thought , says, remember last time, u were at this weight, u fail... Pretend it is a little mouse that say it, pick it up by the tail in your mind and put it in a Manson jar, and you keep doing that till those negative voices are. All put away in a sealed Manson jar... It works, i did it , I keep doing it, and soon u start to recognize that negative voice or thought and u can laugh it away....

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Ahhh yes that voice...the one who not only told us we couldn't do it, but gave us reasons it was ok not to do it today, tomorrow and the next day. You are correct, that voice has a name, self sabotage. This voice was created with our first failed attempt to lose weight and it's been reinforced with every subsequent failure.

I know when we first get the band, the weight typically just melts off with what seems like little effort on our behalf. And than reality hits, oh no we actually have to start controlling our choices again? <Intro self sabotage voice>

It's amazing, there are these milestone we all have for ourselves. My first was under 200, than my original goal of 175, oh and just to be 160=normal weight, than goal etc. Every time I came close to this threshold I had this mental block...can I do it? is it possible? I've wanted to this for so long..is it really happening this time? or this is it, this is where the buck stops..no more loss for me..its just not for me...

Pshhhht- not only did I get pass the threshold I overcame it. But I confess, it happened with each of these monumental milestones. Why? My personal take is that these milestones have significant relevance to us (ie 200 was before kids for me AND its the 100 zone, 175 I remember being a size 14 at this weight..oh what I would do to be a 14 again, 160 lowest weight ever etc). I also remember, as I got older how much harder it was to get to the first goal nontheless 150!!!. These milestones are significant and meaningful. We want them so bad and almost gave up on ever seeing them again. Alas when they come it's almost surreal.

The funny thing is that this doesnt go away. I am 150-155 and want to lose 5 mesely pounds..can I do it...will it happen.. blahblah. How absurd huh. But you know something else 1) those old goals seem so far away and I will never see them again and 2) Ive worked so damn hard to reach all these goals that I'll never let go of my wl.

Just turn to self sabotage voice and say "Voice, you no longer have a say...so shutup before I put a band around your mouth" lol

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Take baby steps, darling! And don't worry, we ALL have our doubts every once in a while. By baby steps I mean take it 10 lbs at a time. Set a goal to lose the next TEN LBS ONLY, so that you're not overwhelmed with the big number. I have about 90 pounds more to go but I'm focusing on my next 10. My goal is to be 210 by September 28 (anniversary) if its more than that, well, that's just icing on the cake; however, anything less than that would be unacceptable!! Push on, honey, you're gonna be successful because you REALLY WANT THIS and you really DESERVE this!!

XOXOXOXO

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oh yes the self sabotage thing is there... I have lost 50 lbs and need to lose about 20-25 more but for some reason I am stalled.. seems to be a point where I've been before in my struggle to lose weight.. I am in hopes that this time I won't ruin it.. I am avoiding sweets and doing very little carbs.. counting my calories on Myfitness pal but I have to believe that if I continue doing what I am supposed to it will work.. We all have been there and I hope you will overcome the sabotage and move on...

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