Hello: I am newly Banded (as of last Wednesday - 07/17). This forum has been so informative for me and I'm very grateful for finding it. So far, I am surprised at how well my post-op has been going without much pain, misery, adjustment, etc. (honestly I expected it to be so awful after reading many posts on here). I go for my first fill on August 13th. I do have some soreness (especially in the belly and around the port incision), some gas (but not painful, just more irritating with an occasional sharp attention getter but nothing horrible) and my incisions are healing well. I'm on Week 1 of "thin liquids" then move on to Week 2 of "thick liquids" and then finally Week 3 of "Mushies". I'm not super hungry and notice that I do go hours without even thinking about being hungry. Today was the first day that I thought I was hungry and I am learning the hard way how much of a habit it is to drink while I eat - which is now a no-no for the foreseeable future. I have what my Dr. called, a "low BMI" (30-31 - depending on who measured my height at the office). I love to cook for friends and entertain - and so much of our social contact with friends is over meals. Now that it is really hitting me that this is how it is going to be from "now on "BUT... here's my big question: DOES IT (LIFE) GET BETTER? How are you all doing with your socializing? I mean, am I always going to live in fear of "throwing up" or "stopping up my stoma" or "basically freaking out about food? I don't want to be unsocial and I want to resume a fun/full life again with my friends. I am okay with eating less - I get that and I'm ready for that - but I guess I'm just now kind of freaking out after having the thought that this Band is going to monopolize my brain and joy from now on. Granted - I am still in the liquid phase which is probably making me seem a little negative tonight (first time since starting this WLS path a few months ago) but I just don't want to be the social leper at parties and such because I am obsessing about this darn Band. DOES IT GET BETTER? DOES IT GET NORMAL? if I'm out - can I have a bite of cake at a birthday party and not obsess about it? Can I go on dates and have wine and a dinner without it being obvious or an issue that I've been Banded. Sorry if this sounds overreacting... any advice from those that have been at this a while would be grateful. Thanks!

I'd suspect anyone who had a low BMI to begin with will have a hard time losing weight without putting some serious effort into it. And, obsessing about what you can eat and get away with, to me at least, is a clear signal that you may be setting yourself up for failure.

Let the band do its job. Once you're in the green zone you won't be worrying about what you can eat. It should be a matter of eating healthy and getting the proper nutrients--not about having wine or cake.

Yes, you can cheat a bit in moderation... a glass of wine or a bite of cake isn't the end of the world, but it should be a rare treat for very special occasions. But, 99% of the time concentrate on what the dietitian recommended for meal plans.

Yes it does get better. I just went to social gatherings prepared. I brought my protein shake and drank tea and water. When I was invited out to eat, I ordered off the appetizer menu and ordered my Margarita. You can socialize and enjoy your life. Even at work. Yes, I ate and still eat cake. Do I eat a whole piece? No ma'am. I take a tiny piece and eat. You don't have to deprive yourself.

Hello

I started at a BMI of 35 now I'm somewhere around 23 after a loss of 100 lbs.

When I first started the band, I was very diligent with my rules which laid a strong foundation for how I eat today. I consider everything at this stage to be about 100% compliance. Not only are you healing, but you are also resetting your body. Don't mess with the formula to much. This should be your mentality until you reach that fill that puts you into the green zone. Before green you are apt to eat too much, gain weight etc so it's just not worth messing w/ your diet too much. Now with that being said, once you are in the green zone this is what life will be like with the band. You should notice a huge change in the quantity you can eat. Than you need to experiment with what foods you can/cannot eat to have a real understanding of what your tolerance is. From there, you can make better decisions in social settings that won't set you up for a stuck episode etc. But in reality, you can make choices around that understanding at that point. I can eat just about anything, but that doesnt mean I do daily or even frequently in general. Rather, I make allowances for myself. If I know Im going out and we'll be drinking or having bbq or even cake galore I eat small portions before and after to try to minimize my caloric intake. When I do have a drink, it's small drinks and no more than 2. Or I take bites of cake instead of whole pieces etc. It's almost like everything becomes finger foods. If you take the time now to establish good habits than this becomes 2nd nature in the future.

On a 2nd note...social awareness. Sometimes (espec. in the beginning) we are worried about what people will notice and how we will be perceived. I will say most of the anxiety is in your head. The beginning is touch because there really is no way to disguise eating liquids-mushies all day long. But once you are on solids there's many clever ways to get around the fact you are banded. In the scenario where you are with strangers it's easy just to say that you just ate but will join them for a lite bite. If these are friends you frequent regularly and do not wish to let them know you are banded, than my very first suggestion is to not center all your social activities around food. Why not coffee get togethers instead or engaging activities. But when you are eating together, take small portions and eat. They'll perceive you as eating. If they comment on your small portions just say yeah I'm trying to lose weight. Enough said.

Social life is defined by the individual. If you use to drink excessively before band, if you all you did was go out and eat w/ friends etc than realize to be successful those habits must change as well. (I'm being extreme but there are plenty of ppl on here who did and still do and they dont lose weight because of it).

Lastly, I dont think a low BMI makes it more difficult to lose weight as a previous poster suggested. None of us will lose if we make poor choices.

I'm 100% with Hazel on this. She covered it all.....

Now that I'm 4 months out, there isn't any eating situation that concerns me. If we go out to a restaurant, I order a meal, eat what I can, and either leave the rest or take it home. The ONLY reason you would have a stuck episode, is if you take too big a bite, and don't chew thoroughly. Taking small bites & chewing well isn't obvious to anyone you eat with. You are eating.....that's all they see. As Hazel said, if your social life involves drinking on a regular basis, you will have problems losing weight. There is not a lot of room for regular alcohol intake on any weight loss plan, because there aren't any nutrients and your body can only store it as fat. That, and drinking brings on loose eating for many; it does for me! If you DO drink, count the calories, and make sure you don't consistently blow your daily allowance. Maintenance is another story, but it doesn't mean that you can throw caution to the wind.

Relax, and take the time necessary to "reset" as Hazel mentions, and get re-aquainted with food, and what will ultimately be your new "normal".

Good luck!

I had/have a high BMI so I cannot speak from experience with that point of view. I will say it did get easier for me as time went on and now it is just a way of life. Remember 'deprivation is like dieting'. This is not a diet but more a lifestyle change. Some of us succeed with dieting short term but usually long term it gets us into trouble.

Need to learn to adapt our needs into our necessary life changes in order for this to be successful.

Maybe a stupid question but if you have a BMI of 30 why did you get lap band surgery?

Yes it does get better. I just went to social gatherings prepared. I brought my protein shake and drank tea and water. When I was invited out to eat, I ordered off the appetizer menu and ordered my Margarita. You can socialize and enjoy your life. Even at work. Yes, I ate and still eat cake. Do I eat a whole piece? No ma'am. I take a tiny piece and eat. You don't have to deprive yourself.

Did you really say margaritaaaaaa??? :wub: YIPPY!!!!!

What is the green zone??

I find it hard to deal with eating out with friends. I HOPE this gets easier. It's generally with friends that KNOW, so the entire time they are watching every bite I put in my mouth! SMH!

Did you really say margaritaaaaaa??? :wub: YIPPY!!!!!

Yes ma'am I did. I love to drink tropical drinks, but I only have one rather than two or three like I used to pre-band. So go ahead girl and enjoy you a drink every now and then.

Hello

I started at a BMI of 35 now I'm somewhere around 23 after a loss of 100 lbs.

When I first started the band' date=' I was very diligent with my rules which laid a strong foundation for how I eat today. I consider everything at this stage to be about 100% compliance. Not only are you healing, but you are also resetting your body. Don't mess with the formula to much. This should be your mentality until you reach that fill that puts you into the green zone. Before green you are apt to eat too much, gain weight etc so it's just not worth messing w/ your diet too much. Now with that being said, once you are in the green zone this is what life will be like with the band. You should notice a huge change in the quantity you can eat. Than you need to experiment with what foods you can/cannot eat to have a real understanding of what your tolerance is. From there, you can make better decisions in social settings that won't set you up for a stuck episode etc. But in reality, you can make choices around that understanding at that point. I can eat just about anything, but that doesnt mean I do daily or even frequently in general. Rather, I make allowances for myself. If I know Im going out and we'll be drinking or having bbq or even cake galore I eat small portions before and after to try to minimize my caloric intake. When I do have a drink, it's small drinks and no more than 2. Or I take bites of cake instead of whole pieces etc. It's almost like everything becomes finger foods. If you take the time now to establish good habits than this becomes 2nd nature in the future.

On a 2nd note...social awareness. Sometimes (espec. in the beginning) we are worried about what people will notice and how we will be perceived. I will say most of the anxiety is in your head. The beginning is touch because there really is no way to disguise eating liquids-mushies all day long. But once you are on solids there's many clever ways to get around the fact you are banded. In the scenario where you are with strangers it's easy just to say that you just ate but will join them for a lite bite. If these are friends you frequent regularly and do not wish to let them know you are banded, than my very first suggestion is to not center all your social activities around food. Why not coffee get togethers instead or engaging activities. But when you are eating together, take small portions and eat. They'll perceive you as eating. If they comment on your small portions just say yeah I'm trying to lose weight. Enough said.

Social life is defined by the individual. If you use to drink excessively before band, if you all you did was go out and eat w/ friends etc than realize to be successful those habits must change as well. (I'm being extreme but there are plenty of ppl on here who did and still do and they dont lose weight because of it).

Lastly, I dont think a low BMI makes it more difficult to lose weight as a previous poster suggested. None of us will lose if we make poor choices.[/quote']

Thank you for this. Congrats on your loss and continued success! I guess that is all that I was asking - does it "normalize" and just become a new way of life without obsessing. I'm fine with the "resetting" diet and 100% compliance post-op and I understand the purpose (both the physical healing and the mental adjustment) - I think the new hyper-focus post-op kind of had me worried if it was going to be like this forever or if it would gradual become more normal (just different than before but in a healthy way). I wasn't a daily drinker nor would I eat dessert every night at dinner - but I just didn't know if it was complete deprivation forever or with (great) moderation that life and social events could still be enjoyable. I like a glass or two of wine at dinner parties (which my surgeon said was ok once in a while but not every day - but to just count it as my daily calorie intake on my diet app and he warned that I might get buzzed faster now so to be alert about that) and I don't need a whole piece of cake or two - but would like to have a taste once in a while. The comparison to it now being a "finger food" kind of existence is perfect. I'm actually really happy with that. That's how the thin French women eat and stay thin (generally just three bites of anything) - no deprivation but definite moderation. Thank you again for all of the input so many of you all shared. I appreciate it.

I'm 100% with Hazel on this. She covered it all.....

Now that I'm 4 months out' date=' there isn't any eating situation that concerns me. If we go out to a restaurant, I order a meal, eat what I can, and either leave the rest or take it home. The ONLY reason you would have a stuck episode, is if you take too big a bite, and don't chew thoroughly. Taking small bites & chewing well isn't obvious to anyone you eat with. You are eating.....that's all they see. As Hazel said, if your social life involves drinking on a regular basis, you will have problems losing weight. There is not a lot of room for regular alcohol intake on any weight loss plan, because there aren't any nutrients and your body can only store it as fat. That, and drinking brings on loose eating for many; it does for me! If you DO drink, count the calories, and make sure you don't consistently blow your daily allowance. Maintenance is another story, but it doesn't mean that you can throw caution to the wind.

Relax, and take the time necessary to "reset" as Hazel mentions, and get re-aquainted with food, and what will ultimately be your new "normal".

Good luck![/quote']

Thank you for this. Very helpful. Looking forward to normalization and glad to hear that you have found it already at 4 months out. And you're right - no one will notice at social situations - its just eating and no one would really care. And I like the suggestion of just saying that I've already eaten and I'll just have a light bite or something.

I'd suspect anyone who had a low BMI to begin with will have a hard time losing weight without putting some serious effort into it. And' date=' obsessing about what you can eat and get away with, to me at least, is a clear signal that you may be setting yourself up for failure.

Let the band do its job. Once you're in the green zone you won't be worrying about what you can eat. It should be a matter of eating healthy and getting the proper nutrients--not about having wine or cake.

Yes, you can cheat a bit in moderation... a glass of wine or a bite of cake isn't the end of the world, but it should be a rare treat for very special occasions. But, 99% of the time concentrate on what the dietitian recommended for meal plans.[/quote']

You misunderstood my question - it isn't about me having wine or cake nor was it about me obsessing about what I can get away with.

Regarding your statement about lower BMI having a hard time losing weight without putting some serious effort into it - not true according to my surgeon. He said that everyone will and can lose weight on the LapBand (or one of the other WLS) as long as you do the program of diet and exercise regardless of the amount to lose.

Maybe a stupid question but if you have a BMI of 30 why did you get lap band surgery?

Not a stupid question: It is still "obese" and/or "morbidly obese" and unhealthy.

You misunderstood my question - it isn't about me having wine or cake nor was it about me obsessing about what I can get away with.

Regarding your statement about lower BMI having a hard time losing weight without putting some serious effort into it - not true according to my surgeon. He said that everyone will and can lose weight on the LapBand (or one of the other WLS) as long as you do the program of diet and exercise regardless of the amount to lose.

I'd agree. I was banded at a higher bmi, but my weight loss has been fairly steady all along. I am now bmi of 24 and am not in any way, shape, or form actively trying to lose weight, but it still comes off.

Even as I have settled into this lifestyle and am not nearly as strict about food or alcohol intake (i do love some mixed drinks myself , I still continue to lose at a decent pace. Heck, at this point I am the ones my friends point to when complaining about skinny people, which completely blows my mind.