Hi, I'm new and have my band date for 30th March.. I have mixed emotions at the moment and lots of things going on..

I am worried about leaving my son overnight, we co-sleep and I'm still breastfeeding (hippy Mama :wub: ) and have not spent a night apart from him since he was born. He only has comfort feeds now at bed time and morning first thing and we are weaning (he turns two next week) but I do feel very anxious.

I'm also feeling a bit upset by my DH, he is very supportive but I'm a bit upset that he hasn't told me I don't need it or told me he doesn't care how I look. Sure, I would still go ahead because this is for me, but I guess it's just kind of upset me that he is so enthusiastic about the thought of me being smaller I am not excited at all, I just feel sad and guilty that it has come to this

I am sure your son will be fine. You have a whole month to wean him. I'm sorry to hear your DH hasn't reassured you with kind words. I am sure he does feel that way but some men don't know how to express themselves well.

I have to say that life after the band has been awesome. I feel so much better and have much more energy to keep up with my 3 and 4.5 year old girls. It is a definite commitment to changing the way you eat and exercise and the way you interact with food. It is a tool not a quick fix. (You're gonna read that a lot here) Make sure that YOU are ready to make these changes because only you will be responsible for your success.

Good luck and I hope you can find the excitement in this journey. It is definitely a tough one but well worth the outcomes

Perhaps look at it from another perspective...

You must need the Lap Band or you wouldn't be getting it, right? So would you really want your DH to lie to you and tell you don't need it? The sad truth is, too often people are on here sad because their spouse doesn't support their decision to have WLS. Your DH not only supports it but he's excited for you. I see that as something to be thankful for not sad about.

Best wishes on your journey.

Thank you, I feel slightly better just for writing it and posting...

whats DH?

what is DH?

dear husband, I believe!

I had a similar conversation with my husband recently. I had skipped a couple days of exercising and my husband was getting annoyed with me for not sticking to it. Turns out that he was excited for me to get this surgery and start my transfornation. Not because he didn't love me for who I am now - but because he was looking forward to doing new things together, buying me new clothes, and watching ME become happier. He would still love me the same if I failed, but he didn't want me to fail at MY dream!

Maybe your husband is the same?

Try not to be so hard on him. I know it's not easy but truth be told most people who haven't battled obesity are clueless the physical and emotional toll it plays in our life. My dh (devoted husband, was what I thought it stood for, lol) is all muscly and has a 6 pack and he is certainly clueless. However he went the opposite as yours and was telling me he loved me the way I am, I could tell the money it is costing was a huge hang up for him as well. We have to pay 5500.00 out of pocket. He made me second guess myself more than a couple times. However I knew that once I lost a few pounds he would enjoy the benefits as well. I'm only 2 1/2 weeks post op and down about 25 pounds and already feel better about myself and he can see the difference. Now he's starting to get excited. It sounds like your hubby is trying to go the opposite route and be optimistic and excited for you. But I'm sure he loves you the way you are now too! After all, he's been by your side through your journey so far, right? :-)

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I don't think you should worry too much about your hubby's reaction. My husband is very supportive of me getting the band and he is excited as well. He hasn't told me that he doesn't think I need it because the truth of the matter is that I do need it. He has seen me struggle with diets and working out with little to no results. Plus the idea of me feeling better about myself makes him happy. So I guess you should look at it from the perspective. Having Banding!!!!1

My whole family is happy for me. I cant wait for those smaller nicer clothes!!

MALE PERSPECTIVE RANT

Ok, you are ticked with your DH because he is excited that you are doing something about the weight and the unhealthy lifestyle that caused it, Oh and he gets to have a wife who is a hottie now? I suggest professional help.

I love my wife more than life it's self, she is beautiful, inside and out and I would love her no matter what her size, but if you don't think that I thank the Lord God above every time I see her naked, then you are out of your freakin mind.

Lose the fat for yourself, thank the Lord you have a partner who is excited and supporting you, rather than some of the a**hats that some people here have. Believe me, this is hard when you have support, talk to some of the people here who are doing it alone.

RANT DONE. Please feel free to drag out the pitchforks and torches over my crass comments.

Does everyone that gets the band stay over night.

Does everyone that gets the band stay over night.

I didn't. I was home the same day. Surgery at 1pm and walked in my door at 7pm.

Does everyone that gets the band stay over night.

I didn't either. It was outpatient same day for me. But surgeon's and/or insurance might require a night stay, which if under 23 hours is still considered outpatient.

Hi! I feel you pain as far as being away from your son. My daughter is almost the same age, we also co-sleep and I also haven't been away from her for a night since she was born. I am not breast feeding, but I do get how you feel about being away overnight. I feel guilty about being away from my daughter too. But I think both little ones will be fine and we will be home the next day.

Try to put the guilt behind you now about letting it get this bad. You have taken the steps necessary to reverse it! That is a major step to make! Be proud that you have done it and excited that it is getting so close. An embrace Hubby for being so supportive. Mine has never struggled with his weight and doesn't express himself very well at all. So, while I know he supports me in this, he isn't excited or cheerleading for me. You know?