To Tell Or Not To Tell That You've Had Lapband Surgery Or Wls(Weight Loss Surgery)

[babydumplin1968 13]

Well I told a select few at work..of course it spreaded like wild fire... at first I was upset but then I realized that I am an adult...I don't need anyone elses approval to make any changes to my body... if someone asks, I say Yep I'm having surgery... At this point, I really don't give a fat rat's a** about their opinions.. Time to focus on ME and MY health... if you're with me fine... if not..it's still fine...

[kah1213 311]

I "stole" the idea from someone else here and told my boss I was having gallbladder surgery, which explains the 4 days off work. I told him I wasn't planning on telling anyone else, but told him as hes my boss and we're very busy at work. I wanted him to know it was surgery and not just a trip to the beach while I was out of the office! He respected that. When/if I start dropping weight, I'll probably say I'm on WW or something. I'll play that one by ear!!

[eyeononederland 27]

Well I told a select few at work..of course it spreaded like wild fire... at first I was upset but then I realized that I am an adult...I don't need anyone elses approval to make any changes to my body... if someone asks' date=' I say Yep I'm having surgery... At this point, I really don't give a fat rat's a** about their opinions.. Time to focus on ME and MY health... if you're with me fine... if not..it's still fine...[/quote']

Yeah, I thought about telling one of my work friends. This morning she proved what I was pretty sure about all along - she can't keep her mouth shut to save her life! This morning she let our group know that one girl was out today because she's leaving her husband. Without any prompting, she told us the reason was a crack pipe was found while doing his laundry.

If she'd spill that to anyone without them even asking, I think I'll just keep my personal life to myself!

Maybe once I've lost a fair bit I will share my "secret." For now, I don't need the extra stress.,

[everfeels9 22]

OMG> What a great topic. I was banded May 10th and told exacty fur people: My daughter, my brother, my cousin and a close friend from college who lives in another state. Im not ashamed but like someone said here I dont want o have to constantly discuss my weight challenges. I already put enough pressure and criticism on myself (im working on this) and dont need it from others.

That said...I went to my first post op appt today and there was 1st a group of people there to go over eating and nutrition tips. This was before your individual appt with the doctor. OMG there was a woman there that lived in my building. She was talking loud in the waiting area about having the gastric sleeve a few days ago and how she has been doing. So when they called my name I stopped and spoke to her briefly (even though I didnt want to. I was there to see my doctor not for social hour. Geez.) Asked her how she was feeling and all. She was friendly and said she was fine just a little weak. She asked me what I was getting and I told her I was "CONSIDERING" lap band (although I have already been banded.) I hated that I lied but im just.. the last thing I want is for everyone in my building (I only have one real friend in the building everyone else Im friendly and polite with but we dont really socialize ) and I havent told her and dont intend to. (Shes very judgemental and I dont want or need her opinion).

Anyway, I saw the nurse and got weighed (Ive lost 16lbs!!) but did not go to the group meeting. I actually rescheduled for Friday and am tempted to call the dr office and ask that I not be scheduled along with this woman from my building. I know it sounds crazy and it probly is but I dont want to have to deal with this person everytime I see my doctor. What the hell!!?? I feel like its an invasion of my privacy. What should I do???

[m1aman 944]

Go ahead and get rescheduled. No point in stressing yourself. Life is short.

[babydumplin1968 13]

Yeah... privacy is the best policy. It will save you a lot of wasted time. Too bad I live in a small town... doesn't take long for everyone to know your business. Everytime I visit the doctor, one of my church members who works there, stops in to talk to me... Oh Well, life goes on...

[AlleyKat 26]

Love this topic because I had a bit of a melt down over it last night. I've told my DH, my best friend (Who had the surgery) and her family, and my parents. That's it. I'm not embarassed, I have just been put down by people for so long about my weight that I don't need to be put down for this decision. I know I've made the right decision for me so I really don't care what anyone else thinks.

I wasn't going to tell my Dad because I know he is against it. I told him last night and now he refuses to talk to me. My husband doesn't fully support it either. He supports me but not me getting the surgery. I felt very alone last night.

I'm not planning on taking any time off of work as a have a desk job and I am off the day of surgery and two days after but if I need to. I plan on going with the hernia/gall bladder story too.

It's hard when you tell people you love and they don't support your decision.

On the other hand, my friend who had the surgery told everyone, posted it on Facebook etc. For the world to see. That's what she wanted to do and she is happy with her decision.

Everyone is different!

[journey4me 23]

I have chosen who I want to tell. I preferred not to tell many people just because I don't want to be "watched" to see how I am doing. So far I have found that the people i did tell have respected my wish not to tell others. I know the weight loss will show, but I know someone else who had it done and people are constantly asking him. I don't want that kind of attention. I just thought there would be too much pressure for me to lose weight for other people and not my own personal journey. I have found I do better when I am not under pressure. I am sure that plenty of people want the support, but I was afraid of failing or having to prove myself. I work at a school and we work closely together. I see everyone everyday. Good luck with your journey!

[Bjc1227 64]

I have shared with a few close friends, my sister and my daughter. A couple friends wanted to discuss the dangers and horror stories they'd heard about but they have moved past that. One friend at work was banded in Sept. 11, and has been a great inspiration. One friend said, "Well, if it makes you feel better about yourself." I had to explain that I feel good about myself already. I like me, but I don't like being fat and unhealthy. My health is what is important. I know that some people will talk and there is a grapevine, at work and in town, that spreads news quickly. I'm not going to worry about opinions of people I don't care about.

[lalaj 108]

My husband, mom, closest aunt who raised me as her own and 2 friends know. That's all that I've told. NOW my DH has debated with me on this saying I should share it with close people and he doesn't understand why I've chosen not to.

I'm my opinion, I don't want to hear the negative opinions. He says he's proud to be the husband of someone who made this huge step. He has joined me in weightloss and has lost 41lbs in two months.

Overall, it's a personal choice. It's everyone's right to tell or not to tell.

Lala

[honk 780]

AlleyKat, As someone who works in Human Resources I have a suggestion for you. I would go to your manager or HR and say "I am having a surgery (you don't need to tell them what due to HIPPA regulations) on X date and plan on returning to work after the weekend. If I am not feeling up to it I may need to take a few days off".

The fact that you will be taking the Friday off can and will lead to bad impressions if you can't be in on Monday. I can guarentee you that someone in management/HR/coworkers will infer you were so drunk/stoned over the weekend now you can't make it to work. I know you are thinking "no one will think that of ME". Yes someone will esp. someone who is a gossip and mean spirited. I work in HR and have heard it allllll. I sure your doctor will write you a note that you may need to be out of work for up to 5 days.

Free advice worth what you pay for it!

[babydumplin1968 13]

I have heard a few negative comments... like I really don't need surgery. But for the most part, everyone has been very supportive. You are always going to have those people who complain about everything...(Debbie Downers). I have had to cancel most of the school events, because I'm tired of telling people why I can't have any solid foods right now. When I got a new car one time a (Mercedes) people actually found flaws with that too. It became the talk of the office. So, just trust yourself to make the right decisions.

[Bjc1227 64]

I told my boss from the very beginning, when I started looking into the possibility of having the surgery. She has been very supportive and even went with me to my informational meeting. She is at her ideal weight but, like all women, complains about a few extra pounds. I'm looking forward to keeping up with her when we have to walk to meetings.

When I decided to tell my sister, I wasn't sure of the reaction I'd get. She is always the big sister and doesn't hesitate to give me advice. She has offered to spend time with me around the operation, though she will have to take time off and fly here. My daughter told me that she was proud of me for taking the step. She has also offered to spend time with me after surgery. I'm not sure I'm going to need all this sitting but it sure is good having people around that care.

[babydumplin1968 13]

Family support is very important... My husband wasn't too keen on the idea of me having surgery of any kind... we talked and he researched the process with me and he is on board with me being healthy... My daughter and sisters have all been so supportive. As a family, we have all struggled with our weight... they have only my best interest at heart... The surgery center is just a few miles from my house, but they all plan to be there during and afterwards... I feel so Blessed!!!!!

[Savannah26 26]

I only told my daughter and my <out of state> cousin, whom I do not keep any secrets from. No one else in my world knows. I am very happy with my decision to keep this private, especially since this is a VERY slow weight loss journey and didn't want to constantly be judged by anyone regarding what is on my plate or if I didn't live up to their rapid weight loss expectations. Two of my friends have confided in me about WLS for themselves, so I am most likely going to share my story with them in confidence, of course. It is a very personal thing - good luck in your decision. To share or not to share - that is the question!