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How did you change your mindset?



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I realize that food is WAY to important to me. Almost an obsession. My meals are what I look forward to most every day. Thinking about what sounds good and what i'm going to have as opposed to what is healthy. I know i'm not alone out there, how did you change your mindset to where food is not an event or the thing to look forward to most that day?

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laugh.gif I know you weren't trying to be funny, but... I'll let you know when I get there! I think I spend just as much time thinking about food as I used to, though now I'm putting my energy into thinking about how to make the best choice for a meal, how to get a good amount of Protein, what a healthy snack should be, am I really hungry or do I just want to jam something else in my mouth, etc.

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Its not that easy, and I think in fact that its a lifelong challenge.

My inner dialogue may be offensive to some here, and I dont mean it to be but this is how I approach it. I'm not a reformed fatty, I am a fat person in remission, and I have been there and indulged in all the practices most obese people have. I've wallowed in custard tarts and whipped cream, hidden food and eaten in secret, eaten in my car, all of it, so I'm not passing ANY judgement.

BUT to see a fat person walking through a mall sucking on a big plastic cup full of iced coffee and whipped cream is disgusting. To look around the food court and see people jamming their gobs with greasy fast food is stomach churning, its utterly revolting whether its being done by a fat OR thin person. The smells of those food courts when you really take the time to notice are horrible -grease! Sitting in your car stuffing Cookies down your face is a miserable pathetic thing to do. Making excuses that you're too busy to cook or must go through the drive through for Breakfast becuase you're rushed, or cant afford to buy decent food or dont have time to exercise is just delusional pathetic baby behaviour. Its being a whiner and playing the victim. None of us would have much time for someone that failed to take charge of any other aspect of their life, preferring to make excuses for not changing it and blaming other people/situations instead of accepting responsibility. Very few of us are like that in other parts of our lives - we're successful workers, spouses, parents. But we have all been their with our food and eating and exercise habits - and its a very unattractive personality trait.

I simply decided I didnt want to be that sort of person any more and it was time to bloody well grow up and face facts. And every time I slip, I think about how disgusted I would be if I saw somebody else indulging in that behaviour. Its enough to stop me most of the time.

Sorry if that's harsh, and I understand that therre's all sorts of emotional and psychological components to obesity but for a lot of people, it really is that black and white. You either want it or you dont, and if you do, then shut up and get on with it kind of thing.

Works for me, might be a bit in your face for other people, lol.

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Its not that easy, and I think in fact that its a lifelong challenge.

My inner dialogue may be offensive to some here, and I dont mean it to be but this is how I approach it. I'm not a reformed fatty, I am a fat person in remission, and I have been there and indulged in all the practices most obese people have. I've wallowed in custard tarts and whipped cream, hidden food and eaten in secret, eaten in my car, all of it, so I'm not passing ANY judgement.

BUT to see a fat person walking through a mall sucking on a big plastic cup full of iced coffee and whipped cream is disgusting. To look around the food court and see people jamming their gobs with greasy fast food is stomach churning, its utterly revolting whether its being done by a fat OR thin person. The smells of those food courts when you really take the time to notice are horrible -grease! Sitting in your car stuffing Cookies down your face is a miserable pathetic thing to do. Making excuses that you're too busy to cook or must go through the drive through for Breakfast becuase you're rushed, or cant afford to buy decent food or dont have time to exercise is just delusional pathetic baby behaviour. Its being a whiner and playing the victim. None of us would have much time for someone that failed to take charge of any other aspect of their life, preferring to make excuses for not changing it and blaming other people/situations instead of accepting responsibility. Very few of us are like that in other parts of our lives - we're successful workers, spouses, parents. But we have all been their with our food and eating and exercise habits - and its a very unattractive personality trait.

I simply decided I didnt want to be that sort of person any more and it was time to bloody well grow up and face facts. And every time I slip, I think about how disgusted I would be if I saw somebody else indulging in that behaviour. Its enough to stop me most of the time.

Sorry if that's harsh, and I understand that therre's all sorts of emotional and psychological components to obesity but for a lot of people, it really is that black and white. You either want it or you dont, and if you do, then shut up and get on with it kind of thing.

Works for me, might be a bit in your face for other people, lol.

That is SOOOOO well said!!! I couldn't agree more.

In answer to the OP's question, I used to open my eyes in the morning and my first thought was "what am I going to eat today?" And I would head straight for the fridge. After I had my surgery, I became completely addicted to the scale. I would weigh myself numerous times a day and as the numbers came down, so did the cravings for food. I knew that I had to give up one or the other. Before long my first conscience thought became "what do I weigh today?" And I would head for the scale. I'm no longer obsessed with food although I'm still obsessed with the scale. I found that keeping a copy of my "before" picture on the fridge helped. I look at it and think "is THAT really what I want?" Of course the answer is always HECK NO!!! I very seldom even think about food anymore. My mindset has changed. I no longer live to eat. I eat to live!

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BUT to see a fat person walking through a mall sucking on a big plastic cup full of iced coffee and whipped cream is disgusting. To look around the food court and see people jamming their gobs with greasy fast food is stomach churning, its utterly revolting whether its being done by a fat OR thin person. The smells of those food courts when you really take the time to notice are horrible -grease! Sitting in your car stuffing Cookies down your face is a miserable pathetic thing to do. Making excuses that you're too busy to cook or must go through the drive through for breakfast becuase you're rushed, or cant afford to buy decent food or dont have time to exercise is just delusional pathetic baby behaviour. Its being a whiner and playing the victim. None of us would have much time for someone that failed to take charge of any other aspect of their life, preferring to make excuses for not changing it and blaming other people/situations instead of accepting responsibility. Very few of us are like that in other parts of our lives - we're successful workers, spouses, parents. But we have all been their with our food and eating and exercise habits - and its a very unattractive personality trait.

For the most part, I agree with you. When I'm in a restaurant and I see people downing a huge plate of food, no matter what it is, I'm amazed now (but in the past I think it would have looked delicious to me). I'm not grossed out by people drinking big coffee drinks, but if it's a frozen frothy coffee with whipped cream in a huge cup, I think "that looks delicious, but I wonder how many calories are in it". I'm much more grossed out by people drinking giant sodas. I dropped soda pre-band and I was never a big drinker anyway.

But it's true... once you get used to eating much smaller portions, and not drinking calories, it starts to look like the rest of the world is out of their minds laugh.gif

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I used to feel the same way. While I was eating one meal I would be thinking about the next one. I didn't know HOW I was going to live without eating all of my favorite greasy, sugary foods. The very thought of it terrified me.

When I got the band, the first couple of weeks were VERY hard. I cried all the time and was sure I made a huge mistake. The liquids phase was the longest 2 weeks of my entire life. When I got onto mushies, things changed for me. I realized that I needed food to live, but not in the way I thought before. Food is fuel to keep my body running and that's it. I still have cravings for things now and again (mostly during that special TOM) but nowhere near what I used to. It's kind of like the band reset my brain, in a way. Now when I watch my fiance eat the huge portions I used to eat, I can't help but feel a little sick (sorry honey!). I could never go out and eat a pizza Hut combo meal and wash it down with a huge candy bar or ice cream like I used to...the thought alone makes me nauseous. I never thought I would be able to say that, and thank god. I'm no longer killing myself with food. I still eat "bad" things every once in a while, but in small amounts until my craving is satisfied. I never think of myself as "being on a diet" because that's why I failed so many times before. I allow myself to eat the things I ate before, but the funny thing is, I don't really want to anymore.

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I think you have to find an inspiration. Personally I'm not doing it for myself really, which might be bad, but I'm doing it for my 2-year old daughter and I want to be there to see her grow up and do things with her that my parents weren't able to do with me. I want to see her graduate from high school, college, medical school(haha) and live a happy successful life. I think it's about finding your own inspiration though, everyone has one whether they know it or not yet. Good luck to everyone.

weight.png

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BRAVA BRAVA - Could not have said it any better.

That is SOOOOO well said!!! I couldn't agree more.

In answer to the OP's question, I used to open my eyes in the morning and my first thought was "what am I going to eat today?" And I would head straight for the fridge. After I had my surgery, I became completely addicted to the scale. I would weigh myself numerous times a day and as the numbers came down, so did the cravings for food. I knew that I had to give up one or the other. Before long my first conscience thought became "what do I weigh today?" And I would head for the scale. I'm no longer obsessed with food although I'm still obsessed with the scale. I found that keeping a copy of my "before" picture on the fridge helped. I look at it and think "is THAT really what I want?" Of course the answer is always HECK NO!!! I very seldom even think about food anymore. My mindset has changed. I no longer live to eat. I eat to live!

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I just said this is what must do. I still would love to walk into a fast food place and get something, but for the most part once I think about the calories it's not worth it. I got myself to the point (though I wasn't at my highest, I was actually 50# below it) where I was so depressed all the time about my life, lack of friends etc, that I said I HAVE to do something. Yes, I lied through my teeth at the psych eval. Questions like do you just start crying sometimes, ever considered suicide (not sure if they asked that) those questions should have been yes, but I said no. I didn't think id be approved if I showed just how depressed I was. So I made a decision to do this and as the scale keeps going down, I feel better and better about myself

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re: "Thinking about what sounds good and what i'm going to have as opposed to what is healthy"

somewhere along the way, as Jachut so eloquently wrote, I simply got fed up with "jamming my gob" on both a physical and metaphysical level.

When I see that 400#er cruising by stuffing themselves with various concoctions of slow death frappe' and another bagOstickyBuns, it am relieved it isn't ME there doing that anymore.

And while I do have something way too easy and way too not-healthy, I no longer live to eat. I no longer by 2 loaves of fresh bakery bread so one will make it home.

Somewhere the "Thinking about what sounds HEALTHY and what i'm going to have that is GOOD for me" kicked into a daily reality.

And while there are omissions of good eating behavior, and remissions of a day where profane non-food somehow makes it down my gullet, it isn't very often. I no longer go to sleep planning tomorrow's assault on whatever food might be laying about, and I no longer awake where the first thing on my mind is how to arrange being able to eat all day long without interruption.

Some of that ungodly food urge was resultant from the hormonal imbalance related to injecting 100 units of insulin twice daily over 15 years. Some of it was simple gluttony and the dreadful consequence of 'Sport Eating' taken to the extreme. Somewhere along the line my brain gained better dominance over the belly beasts that had controlled my eating habit for decades.

In a way, I suppose "food addiction" shares similarities to other substance abuse issues.

Discovering that 'eating' is not the same as "overeating", and that "not full" is not the same as "hungry" were huge improvements in life.

Learning there are subtle nuances I long ignored, astonished me. I had long reacted to the fear of becoming hungry by over eating.

I will repeat that phrase, as even today I regard it as central to my own Morbid Obesity: the FEAR of BECOMING hungry drove me into compulsive overeating, independent of any actual appetite or 'hunger' itself.

Once I could identify "hungry" and "not hungry" the battle turned in my favor.

I think it was a form of "food autism" in that I could neither recognize nor react to actual 'hunger' because I would eat to avoid feeling hungry.

Pure psychoemotional non physiological self reinforcing eating behavior unrelated to 'hunger'. In fact, preOp I did become overwhelmed by panic attacks and anxiety episodes.

SO identification of the irrational and changing my own eating behavior with the assistance of the Band, is my laborious response to your question.

But in spite of the occasional glitch, PB or other annoying unexpected episodic fickleness, my Little Angel of the Silicon Fist, my Symbiant, has moved me away from all that.

Cheers on our journey, fellow Bandsters

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My body changes my mind for me. Lol if I go a whole day eating a bunch of junk that's not good for me and then the next day I eat the correct portions and watch the kinds of foods I eat I get a bad Migraine headache and no matter what I take for it I will have that migraine the whole day. Kind of like a punishment. After that I won't have any kind of headaches for months. It only happens when I overeat and eat the wrong kind of foods so I keep that to a minimum cause that day of pain just ain't worth it to me

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I think you have to find an inspiration. Personally I'm not doing it for myself really, which might be bad, but I'm doing it for my 2-year old daughter and I want to be there to see her grow up and do things with her that my parents weren't able to do with me. I want to see her graduate from high school, college, medical school(haha) and live a happy successful life. I think it's about finding your own inspiration though, everyone has one whether they know it or not yet. Good luck to everyone.

weight.png

Hokdo -you are doing it for yourself. And that's not a bad thing. You are doing it because your daughter has inspired you to do it - but you want to see her grow up and live her life. You are answering the call of your soul to see her flourish - it's a great motivation. I'm single and think that now that I'm getting my health in order, I think I'm ready to take the step to be a mom - through adoption because it's truly not possible for me to have one of my own with my health conditions. It's an amazing motivator - motherhood.

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I'm still working on this. I keep asking people that have already had the surgery what they are eating, when they're eating and how they stopped thinking about food.

The biggest thing is flipping the switch from living to eat and eating to live. Once I recognize that I think it will be a little easier. :)

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I also still think about food sometimes. It's something I'm still working on. So far, I've adopted the attitude that I can have anything I want (when I get to where I can eat solid foods, that is - I'm still a week post-op) AS LONG as I'm willing to do however many laps in the pool it's going to take me to burn it off. But I also ask myself if it's going to move me closer to my goal or farther from it. Don't get me wrong; a small bit of something decadent every once in a while is OK, just not every day. Or even every week. Moderation + education = weight loss sensation. :)

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