Hi! Haven’t made any personal posts in some time…

I’m one week shy of my bandiversary, 5/19/11. I went from 349 pounds down to 202.8 (-146.2). I arrived at my lowest in December and haven’t lost anymore. I have maintained or stayed between the same 5 pounds since that time.

My ultimate goal is to get to 165 and maintain and I know I’ll get there…

Here’s my dilemma…I’ve been bingeing on slider foods for the past few weeks and I put on 10 pounds!!! It’s always been really easy for me to gain or lose weight….

Since losing weight and for the most part, ceased from abusing food (until recently) I’ve had to deal with my problems like a normal person. If I don’t drown my issues with food then I have to feel/deal with them and they hurt L…I guess it’s new for me because I never dealt with these issues in the past, I just kept eating them away.

Being super obese made me invisible from the opposite sex and now that I’m visible – I’ve been putting myself out there…but with that comes a lot of self esteem issues…I think a lot of bad thoughts about myself if a guy doesn’t reciprocate feelings or attraction to me…this sucks but I’m trying to deal with it…

In the meantime I’m over here stuffing my face and getting depressed…

Please, if anyone understands and can over any words of encouragement I really need something to click for me…

Thanks….

Rebecca (feeling lost and alone)

Well when was the last time you had a fill. Im 16 week out and have lost 41.. I have had a lot of issues to overcome including my husband cheating on me.

wow! That sucks!

Going for another fill on 6/1

Rebecca, let me start off by saying....WOW. That is amazing!! It takes alot of effort, work, determination and motivation to get where you are now. I think you have hit a plateau with your band and a fill for you would be the ideal thing. Since you will be getting your fill in a couple of weeks, I am sure that will jumpstart your weight loss again. I am sure you are a beautiful person inside, and now you're showing it on the outside. Heck, I'm sure you were a beautiful person on the outside even as the former-lap band you!

Don't be depressed...as for the opposite sex, it's tough as it is to get to know guys and you'll have to face dilemmas with feelings and emotions regardless of size.

You have come this far...and you can pick it right up with a smile on your face and some motivation.

You are so close to your ultimate goal. I know you can do it!!

And Holy, I'm sorry to hear about your spouse's infidelity.....that is definitely a tough thing to go through.

I wish you the best!

If you aren't seeing a counselor, now seems like a good time to start! If you're dealing with some self-esteem and self-doubt issues that are leading you to binge, then a therapist might be able to help you process these feelings and come to terms with them without having to resort to slider foods.

It is my firm belief that everyone in this world could benefit from seeing a therapist once in awhile. You certainly don't need to be seriously mentally ill for it to be helpful

Rebecca, let me start off by saying....WOW. That is amazing!! It takes alot of effort, work, determination and motivation to get where you are now. I think you have hit a plateau with your band and a fill for you would be the ideal thing. Since you will be getting your fill in a couple of weeks, I am sure that will jumpstart your weight loss again. I am sure you are a beautiful person inside, and now you're showing it on the outside. Heck, I'm sure you were a beautiful person on the outside even as the former-lap band you!

Don't be depressed...as for the opposite sex, it's tough as it is to get to know guys and you'll have to face dilemmas with feelings and emotions regardless of size.

You have come this far...and you can pick it right up with a smile on your face and some motivation.

You are so close to your ultimate goal. I know you can do it!!

Thank you! You are so very sweet and kind! I will go easier on myself and think that a fill will def help me! thanks you~

God Bless,

Rebecca

If you aren't seeing a counselor, now seems like a good time to start! If you're dealing with some self-esteem and self-doubt issues that are leading you to binge, then a therapist might be able to help you process these feelings and come to terms with them without having to resort to slider foods.

It is my firm belief that everyone in this world could benefit from seeing a therapist once in awhile. You certainly don't need to be seriously mentally ill for it to be helpful

I'm right there with you on that! I've been going to therapy for 5 years... have had two wonderful therapists and even done hypnotherapy.

I ned to be more open in regards to my issues with men - there is something there that messes me up?!?!? I 'll make an appointment. Thanks for waking me up on hat one.

Rebecca

Rebecca,

First of all, congratulations on your AMAZING weight loss! 146 pounds in a year is just incredible...you should be really proud!

I definitely know where you are coming from...I have been an emotional eater most of my life and have always used food to soothe myself during tough times. It's hard to actually feel the emotions now and deal with them without food to "stuff" them down. I even have things from my past come up that I thought I had resolved...now I have to do it again WITHOUT food. It hasn't been easy and sometimes the urge to binge is very strong. I see a therapist once a week and journal about my feelings, which seems to help.

As for the dating scene, don't be hard on yourself. Love comes when you least expect it...sounds so cheesy but that's how I met my fiance! He loved me at my highest weight because he could see past the fat, but it wasn't easy to love myself. With the lap band I'm slowly getting my self esteem back, and hopefully you will too! Keep up the great work!

Rebecca,

First of all, congratulations on your AMAZING weight loss! 146 pounds in a year is just incredible...you should be really proud!

I definitely know where you are coming from...I have been an emotional eater most of my life and have always used food to soothe myself during tough times. It's hard to actually feel the emotions now and deal with them without food to "stuff" them down. I even have things from my past come up that I thought I had resolved...now I have to do it again WITHOUT food. It hasn't been easy and sometimes the urge to binge is very strong. I see a therapist once a week and journal about my feelings, which seems to help.

As for the dating scene, don't be hard on yourself. Love comes when you least expect it...sounds so cheesy but that's how I met my fiance! He loved me at my highest weight because he could see past the fat, but it wasn't easy to love myself. With the lap band I'm slowly getting my self esteem back, and hopefully you will too! Keep up the great work!

Jenn -

thanks so much! you're story is inspiring! I want to love and care about myself - and I do and once I get involved with a guy - it goes out the window....very frustruating?!?!

thanks sweetie!

Rebecca