hello again all.... so i have decided to get the lap band and will be banded in aug but i find myself not wanting to tell anyone in my imediate family that i'm gonna be getting this done, i don't know why sometimes it's cuz i don't wanna hear the "that's so drastic, you could lose weight with out that surgery" bla bla bla has any one else been where i'm at??? :bolt:

I live in Korea but I am originally from Canada. My family would freak out if they knew I had any of my surgeries so I decided not to tell anyone back home.

I had to tell two of my co workers in case of an emergency but that was it for the longest time. I wasn't "big" enough for surgery and thought people would be so against it.

Luckily in this country people are more accepting so I have been opening up more to 2 or 3 people but still not comfortable telling people.... except ones that piss me off.

I was on a date the other night when the guy said that weightloss surgeries and plastics are the easy way out and people like that were lazy.... of course I lost it and told him about what I have done. It was so envigorating to tell him off and I actually feel better about telling people now.

However when I do go back home I think I will keep my mouth shut.

I told everyone ten years ago that I was going to do this surgery in Mexico. They all FREAKED out and...voila...here I am ten years later finally doing it. It took me that long to grow up a bit and to shake off all the negativity. My confidence definitely took a beating. However, here I am and doing it now and very excited to be doing so without a shred of ambiguity.

It's your decision and your body. Not theirs. Good luck!

I've only spoken about my thoughts to my husband and one of our sons. I'm in the very beginnings of the journey and pretty much have my mind made up to persue this. Sometimes I feel that perhaps I should be dealing with some of the "cons" that I am sure to hear from family members and friends - most of whom I am sure are "experts" in the field of weight loss! But, on the other side of that coin, I don't know if I WANT to constantly be defending my choice to do this.

Oh, I can hear my friend Barb now! She lost 8lbs on the sauerkraut diet (probably 8lbs of GAS) - I've heard enough about that already!

~Lisa

hello again all.... so i have decided to get the LAP-BAND®®® and will be banded in aug but i find myself not wanting to tell anyone in my imediate family that i'm gonna be getting this done, i don't know why sometimes it's cuz i don't wanna hear the "that's so drastic, you could lose weight with out that surgery" bla bla bla has any one else been where i'm at??? :scared2:

I don't see anything wrong with not telling everyone in your family. Only a few people know what I plan to do...my husband, my immediate supervisor and her boss. I didn't have to tell my boss what I was doing, but I thought her reaction would be good and it was. My husband just wants me to be happy and healthy so he is all for it. As for the rest of my family, I don't plan to ever tell them unless they ask me after I have the surgery. I don't plan to volunteer any info, but I won't lie to them if they ask. My family is great, but I don't want to hear "Why don't you just go to the gym more often? Why can't you just do this on your own?" I don't really know if they would say that or just be supportive so I don't even want to bring it up. I'm too focused on getting this done and I don't want to hear any stories about a friend of a friend of a friend that had a bad experience.

Just focus on what you need to do for YOU and don't worry about who you tell or don't tell. Just live your life and get skinny and then you can tell them only if you chose to.

I wish I had never told anyone. It was humiliating for me. I always have ppl looking at me like why hasn't she lost weight, or asking about it. I have been banded for a year and a half and now and havn't even hit my half way there mark yet. I only told my inside people, but my mom watches everything I put in my mouth and ?'s everything. My best friend lost 100lbs. on her own so didn't think I needed to do this. She has always supported me but I see it in her eyes and it's hard to talk to her about my weightloss because I know she thinks I tried to ake the easy way out. (she told me she thought that surgery was the easy way out b4 I had even considered it.) My sister in law wasn't suppose to tell anyone but when I got back from surgery her whole family knew and were asking me how my weightloss was going everytime I saw them. People have big mouths and don't know how not to judge, so if you don't want to tell anyone don't. You can always tell them later or not. This has to do with you and no one else. So make it about you and your goals. Don't put that extra pressure on yourself if it's not what you want. (ok, now I'm stepping off my soap box)

Well I told my husband, kids, sister, boss and mother-in-law. I had to tell my boss because I eat lunch with her everyday alone and we compare food. She is excited for me... I wish I didn't tell my mother-in -law because she is sooo judgemental. She said the OMG why would you do that!!! HELLO!!! Your kidding right. I am not telling my mom.. she is the main factor in my weight all my life. My husband and kids are the best!

Hey Vickyd - Your mother-in-law's action is precisely why I didn't want to tell people. Geez!! I don't think we need to defend our actions. It is a big decision and support is so crucial. I'm glad you have support of your family. I have broken down and told my best friend. She's thrilled I'm getting it done. It's amazing how a positive reaction can make such a difference.

Edited July 28, 201016 yr by Mel54

Mel54,

How true... I told a girl friend co-worker and she was running around screaming and hugging me. I almost cried. She understood, she gets it. People like that are hard to find. I know going forward she will be my biggest fan! My husband has OCD for rules. I told him he can come for surgery, but nothing else. I don't want him knowing the rules and looking over my shoulder every second. I am afraid it will cause resentment instead of being motivational. I asked him how much he thinks I weigh. He said about as much as me; LOL! Got to love the man. I don't have the heart to tell him the truth. So he will just enjoy the change and root for me.

I've only spoken about my thoughts to my husband and one of our sons. I'm in the very beginnings of the journey and pretty much have my mind made up to persue this. Sometimes I feel that perhaps I should be dealing with some of the "cons" that I am sure to hear from family members and friends - most of whom I am sure are "experts" in the field of weight loss! But, on the other side of that coin, I don't know if I WANT to constantly be defending my choice to do this.

Oh, I can hear my friend Barb now! She lost 8lbs on the sauerkraut diet (probably 8lbs of GAS) - I've heard enough about that already!

~Lisa

I love that you made me laugh so hard! The skinny people know it all!

chrissy

Have surgery date set for 8/19. Have only told hubby and daughter so far. I will tell my son and I think that will be all. My boss is a health fanatic and exercise freak. He's 81 yearls old and keeps telling me I have to lose weight because its unhealthy. I definately will not tell him bcause he will be very judgmental about my decision for surgery. I do not feel the need to explain to him my reasons for doing this. I need to take 1 week off so I'm deciding what to tell him. I don't get paid for sick days but I have to give him some excuse. Any suggestions? cat lady

Edited July 29, 201016 yr by cat lady

im getting banded next week (friday) and only my mom, dad, brother, sister and fiance know (because if anything happens to me, theyre the first to know). the rest will never find out. :cursing:

like most of you, i dont want people to criticize, scrutinize my decision