hello again all.... so i have decided to get the lap band and will be banded in aug but i find myself not wanting to tell anyone in my imediate family that i'm gonna be getting this done, i don't know why sometimes it's cuz i don't wanna hear the "that's so drastic, you could lose weight with out that surgery" bla bla bla has any one else been where i'm at??? :bolt:

hello again all.... so i have decided to get the LAP-BAND® and will be banded in aug but i find myself not wanting to tell anyone in my imediate family that i'm gonna be getting this done, i don't know why sometimes it's cuz i don't wanna hear the "that's so drastic, you could lose weight with out that surgery" bla bla bla has any one else been where i'm at??? :bolt:

Not to mention that everyone has a 'horror story' about a friend of a friend that had problems. I am with you. I don't know how I got this bad- well, I do, but you know. I need something to help me realize how drastic this is. This is a tool that can really help us. Unless people have walked in our shoes, they don't understand.

I didnt want to tell my family either. The only person who knew in the begining was my mother. I wanted her to keep it to herself but that was hard because she has kind of a big mouth. When I was first considering getting the lap band, I didnt want them to know, because I didnt want every conversation from then on to deal with whether or not I made a decision. I had a feeling that every time I would talk to my grandmother she would ask me if I made a decision or not. I didnt want to tell many people after I made the decision either, but my mother didnt seem to understand that. She started telling my family, and I didnt talk to her for a while after that and she didnt understand why I didnt want them to know. i was worried that they wouldnt understand why I wanted to do it or they wouldnt be supportive. also, in case they were happy for me, I didnt want to tell then i was going to go through with it, and then for some reason back out and have them be disapointed in me. A week before my surgery i decided to tell people, but it tuens out that there were only like 2 people who didnt know about it (thanks mom). It turns out I had nothing to worry about, they were all supportive, but I am still worried that almost every conversation in the future will be centered around the lap band. (sorry if i was rambling)

I understand completely. I'm having my surgery on Tuesday(July 27th) and I have only told very few people. I know that these few people will not tell a soul.I think I mainly keep it a secret because I don't want people staring at me thinking" has she lost weight yet" everytime they see me. A lot of people don't understand this is not a surgery where you will lose all your weight really quickly. I don't want people judging me because I'm not a size 7 a month after surgery. I also don't want to hear useless opinions from anybody who doesn't know anything lapband. I look at it this way.I am excited to be banded and I'm saving myself from many unwanted comments about a subject I have already made my mind up about.

I'm right there with you! I have been banded for 2 and a half yrs and even now there are only a handful of people that know. No one has really asked me has really asked me how I have lost so much weight. If they do I simply tell them I did it through healthy eating and exercise. It's not a lie since that is basically what I do. They don't need to know I have a tool to keep me in line. I have had a few other friends that had bypass and they were shouting it from the rooftops and can't figure out why people keep asking them how much they have lost. I just found it extremely personal and quite frankly none of their damn business. I'm happy that I chose to keep it to myself :bolt:

I told some friends but not my mom, dad and sister. I did not think that they would be positive so I did not include them in this. What I did do was this...I also had a hiatal hernia so I told them I was going into the hospital for THAT and I was going to be on a special diet for a while since i was having stomach surgery. Now they have not noticed the 8 pounds I have lost since 7.15, but when they do start to notice I'm shrinking I'll tell them that the liquid dite helped me get motivaed to lose weight....thats my story!!

I told some friends but not my mom, dad and sister. I did not think that they would be positive so I did not include them in this. What I did do was this...I also had a hiatal hernia so I told them I was going into the hospital for THAT and I was going to be on a special diet for a while since i was having stomach surgery. Now they have not noticed the 8 pounds I have lost since 7.15, but when they do start to notice I'm shrinking I'll tell them that the liquid dite helped me get motivaed to lose weight....thats my story!!

i kno exacly how u feel, i told my mum shes coming with me and a few friends but now i wish that i hadnt told anyone you are best keeping it to yourself that way no one can annoy you, and judge you i am due 2 go 2 a wedding 4 weeks after my surgery, which i kno people will talk, its hard but its your decision, good luck x

i felt the same way - i only told my mom, sis, hubby and best friend. i dont want my coworkers to know because they were very judgmental of another coworker who had gastric bypass and i didnt want to be the topic of conversation and i also dont like being the center of attention where everyone would see me and discuss the lap band, weight loss etc. That is one of the main reasons i didnt tell my mom-in-law - when she latches onto something she doesn't let go.........

I told my immediate family, mother, two sisters (and by default my brother in law because I would'nt expect my sister to keep secrets from him.), though I have'nt told my brother. Mostly because he's a guy and we don't talk as much as my sisters and I do. To be truthful I think he would understand my decision because he is a recovering alcoholic. So we both have issues but mine is food and his is alcohol. I've told a former male co worker who is gay (I have not told any of my other former coworkers). The guy I told also has weight issues so I think I felt more comfortable telling him and he has been very supportive. You can't unring a bell and my concern is I don't need someone questioning what I eat (I would'nt dream of telling someone "they should'nt eat that". But some people feel it is by natural law their right to be the food police.) I also don't want to deal with unrealistic expectations of how much weight I should be loosing.

Only my husband knows that I had the surgery. I haven't told anyone else.

I knew that I wasn't going to tell my friends, but was unsure if I was going to tell anyone in my family. I am really close to my family but I knew that they would be concerned and forever quizzing me about the surgery. Ultimately I realized that if I told even one person then everyone else would know within a week...possibly quicker! I have a great family but I really didn't really feel like answering any questions yet.

I am thinking about telling my family when I have hit my goal. I am about half way there right now and people have noticed a difference. When they ask I just tell them that I am watching what I eat and exercising a lot more....which is all true.

I think that to tell or not to tell is a very personal decision that you need to make. PLEASE realize that if you even tell one person, expect that person to tell someone else in 'confidence' and for it to get around. If you are worried about everyone knowing then right now you probably shouldn't tell anyone.

Good luck to you!

I too believe that this is a very personal decision and not everyones business. I only told my mom, grandparents, boyfriend, and best friend. No co-workers for sure, I will definately be the topic of conversation if they find out. Plus, I do not want the negativity, only positive thoughts coming my way. I cant wait, my surgery date is 8-9-10 !!! :bolt:

I am totally with you as far as not telling anyone (aside from my husband). I am getting banded in September and I only want to feel positive and not prepared for any negative judgment from anyone that doesn't understand the procedure. I don't want to have to defend my decision. I'm excited about it and looking forward to a healthier way of lifestyle. Good luck to you!!

I am just going to my first appointment on Wednesday but I also have chosen to keep this as quiet as possible. I've told my mom, dad, sister, Husband and my longest friend.

My biggest reason for not telling at this point is I am worried that something will happen along the way and I won't follow through. I am fully for the process and I am ready for the change but what if I am not accepted for what ever reason! I don't want to have to go back and explain it to all these people.

Number 2: I'll just have to wait and see what I do in the future. Might be nice to hear the compliments when i lose the weight and not go into detail. But part of me might want to be an advocate. Only time will tell!

You need to do what you feel is best for YOU, noone else. It depends how much of a private person you are.

I was banded 5 months ago. My husband is the only one who knows. Not my adult children, parents, sisters or friends. I was off 6 days of work with the "flu" and as far as weight loss, it is slow and everyone thinks I am dieting successfully WHICH I AM!

So dun worry about it, just concetrate on your goal and good luck!!

I am hoping to get banded by the end of the year and the only person I will be telling is my husband. Deep down I think my family will be very supportive, but they can also be extremely pushy (well-meaning, but pushy). I figure that I will be dealing with enough changes in my life without having to deal with questions about how much I have lost every time I talk to them.

If anyone comes out and asks me if I had surgery, I don't think I will lie about it but I am just not going to volunteer the information...

If I do get banded, only one person will know. In fact, I wouldn't even tell THAT person if I didn't need a ride home after surgery. He is thin - always has been - and he just doesn't understand being fat.

NO ONE at work will be told. Why? Well, my supervisor actually revealed something that another co-worker had told her in confidence. "Oh, well, Jane Doe can't come to this meeting because her dad is dying in the hospital. Oh, but don't tell her that I told you because she told me this in confidence and wanted no one else to know." What an ethics-free, disgusting bitch she is. Jane Doe's secret is out and I feel like crap that so many of us now know. I do not trust that she would keep her fat mouth shut, so I'll just say I need time off for something medical. If she asks what specifically, I'll just ask her whether the HIPAA laws require me to tell her anything. (They don't, BTW.) That'll shut her miserable pie hole. Bitch. :scared2:

---Whoops! Sorry for that slightly OT rant, but I had to get that out....thinking of blowing the whistle on her for an ethics violation, but worried about retaliation...---