The Guys’ Room

1,612 topics in this forum

I'm freaking myself out of surgery by reading up on complications. How rare are they?

To the men I just want you to believe in yourself again. I know what is like to live a life off obesity and always be in the friendzone. "Oh your personality is amazing" basically means you're too fat to date. Anyway after a lot of research I chose the bypass and I have blown all my goals from 322lbs to now 166lbs and maintaining 166-170lbs. Feeling amazing looking like a new man.

Its always been such a satisfying experience. Especially those hard ones that don't even require a wipe. I guess I should resign myself to little ones now. Small price to pay, I guess in the big picture.

Hey guys, I was scheduled for VSG on 3/30, but was delayed to 5/11 when the hospitals stopped doing elective surgeries because of COVID-19. My insurance requires a 6 month program, plus I had some travel that pushed surgery out a few more months. All in all, I've been at the pre-op routine for 10 months now. I'm down 63 lbs so far (382 -> 319) and am feeling like I can do this, but am nervous for the surgery. Not specifically the procedure and recovery, but the lifetime of change this will mean for me. During this 10 months, I have enjoyed going on vacation or a holiday, eating what I want, then losing all the weight in a week or two. My preference is no WLS, but …

Anyone here's personality change (for the better) after WLS? Been with my H for 13 years and in that time he gained over 100lbs, developed a drinking problem which he's quit now, became much more pessimistic about life and overall seems depressed and isn't fun to be around even though he has a beautiful family, a wife that takes care of herself, and he is financially successful. We are as close to getting a divorce as possible without the signed papers. He thinks WLS will fix a lot of this. Similar experience here anyone?

So at the seven month mark and I have lost a fair bit of weight and while I never considered myself super hairy before as I shrink my back hair and body hair in general seems to be condensing. So not only do I have some gnarly excess skin but I look like Sasquatch. I am hesitant to wax given the excess skin has anyone got any advice? Anyone try laser hair removal?

Hey guys so long time no see. Here’s what’s happened. I have lost a grand total of 258 pounds I now weigh 415 pounds. However I have hit a MAJOR stall. I’m talking about a few MONTHS. I exercise 5 times a week, eat healthy (IE: I meal prepped ground turkey avocado wraps this week as an example) and my body is not having it. It says it loves this weight and will fluctuate slightly but will not go down. I’m at a loss. Help!

Finding Before and After Pictures of men is proving difficult as the main forum is mainly women. I think we men should share some success photos here in the guys forum. I will share as soon as I have some results. Surgery in 1 month! I need some inspiration.

I’m still pre-op, waiting for all my paperwork to be gathered by the doc to submit to the insurance Company. It’s a stressful time for sure. Couple that with my naturally stressed nature, I’m really on edge. I’m trying to relax and take things as they come. It’s been easier said than done however. So how about you, pre or post op, no matter, what do you do to chill out? I’m assuming the gym is a big go to for everyone but what else do you do?

Ok guys, it’s been 10 months & 150 pounds lost so I’m happy thrilled even. My only complaint is I’m wanting sex all the time no really all the time. Let me explain I liked, enjoyed & wanted sex a lot before surgery but now it’s ramped up by 100% it feels like. The slightest thing then I’m trying to hide the bulge In my pants. I’m not complaining but before surgery I never had to hide anything because of the mountain of fat hiding my erections. I’ve gained “access” to about 3 inches & 5x the stamina easily. I’m a widower, currently single but I do have an ex girlfriend who is now more of a friend with benefits situation. She is loving the new me she was the one…

So, I'm down to a size 42 waist, down from a size 54 at my heaviest. I was wondering at what point I can start buying pants and shirts at a place like Target or Walmart again. (Yes, I know, they're not super high end, but I'm going to be losing more weight and I need interim clothing, especially with Fall/Winter on their way)

I had my VSG on July 29th, 2020. I lost 30lbs prior to surgery and about 70 after surgery. I went from 330lbs in January of 2019 to 230 in February of 2020. I have been working out since surgery, generally 3 times a week. I was eating 1.4k calories on rest days at 1.6k on workout days. My dietitian advised me to go up to 1.8k calories since I had reached my goal weight and I just wanted a slow steady weight loss. I have increased my workouts substantially over the last month. I lift weights 4-5 days a week and do 30-45 minutes are high intensity cardio 5-6 days a week. My BMR is about 2.1k, so originally, I was eating around that. However, my trainer told me I was …

Hey Lads, I've been knocking around the forums to find some sort of generalized support checklist. There is a lot if info strewn about but I was hoping to find one place with the whole shebang. So here's my request. My wife is getting the sleeve sometime in the next two months. How can I be prepared to help her out while she is recovering? Basically, how do I not f**k up?

Anyone else have a problem with saggy balls after surgery?? No one told me I’d have to lift them up before sitting down after losing so much weight.....

Any other guys having surgery soon? My surgery day is rapidly approaching and I am ready to move to the next phase. Just ending my 10th day of pre-op liquid diet -- down 13 pounds in 10 days and 42 pounds since starting this journey in late July. Have been free of soda, caffeine and alcohol since Dec 1st.

I can't believe it, but it's been 4 years since my VSG. I rarely visit bariatricPal now, but found it enormously useful leading up to my surgery and during post opp. As I contemplated surgery, one of the things that kept me up at night was what would happen way down the road. As a give back to the community (and a little therapy for me) I've committed to posting annual updates. You can see my posts from previous years down below. Feel free to send a PM if you have any questions or comments. Year 4 Update: Highlights I often forget that I even had the surgery. This is probably is the biggest positive change from year 3 to 4. Don't get me wrong, wh…

This last week I've been struggling with the idea to go through with the surgery, thinking if I shouldn't go through with it and try push myself harder to just diet and go gym. I want to lose the weight but I don't want to end up looking skinny fat and not be able to consume enough proteins a day to gain any real muscle mass. My only problem is I can't seem to go gym long enough to make as difference. Always battling myself mentally

ok so i feel more self conscious of taking my shirt off in public now than when i weighed 346 , dont feel as i dont know how to put it the loose skin is bothersome to say the least i would not want to be back where i was by no means just see if any one else was feeling that way as well ?

So, as I am getting closer to having everything setup, I know that there needs to be a goal weight on the paperwork to give us a place to aim for, and I know all of the paperwork always goes by BMI. At 5'11", the top weight for "healthy" is 175 lbs. Now, Im not a small guy, I have a broad frame. Is there a better way to figure out a goal than BMI? If I hit 175 lbs, Id be confused for a crackhead.

OMG, I am still getting used to the new bodily changes but I last pooped 5 days ago at the procedure. I was getting anxious and thinking that maybe, just maybe you don't make poop if all you drink is water... Wrong. I just wanted to share my joy at a return to some normalcy. I have been on stool softeners twice a day since the surgery to make sure I did not get constipated, I will relax down to 1 when I am on a routine without constipation. Any advice on keeping regular?

Hey guys... I’m looking for an accountability buddy in or near Memphis. Let me know.

Back in 2012/2013 when I was contemplating my VSG, I spent hours scouring this website, which I found incredibly helpful. In fact, I don't think I would have gone forward with the surgery without it. As a "pay it forward" I committed to providing annual updates to the community. I missed my year 5 update last November, so here goes a 5.5 year update. Prior updates are linked below, in case you're curious about annual progression. Enjoy and feel free to comment or ask question, if you think I can help. This year was probably my toughest since having surgery in terms of weight management. I took on a new job that was particularly stressful and involved a lot of…

Hey fellas! Just got approved by insurance and got my date: June 17th. What do I do next? What is some things you wish you knew going into this? Doing the gastric sleeve.

I have had pretty bad panic/anxiety attacks since my 20s, so going on close to 30 years. I was diagnosed with panic disorder when I was about 29, I'm 50 now. I took xanax as needed when they figured it out. I still had attacks because I took it "as needed" and I wasn't good at knowing when they were coming on. Then Xanax XR- extended release came out. This is not a fave drug of psychiatrists but works for me- yes I have tried Pristique, Buspirol and all the others- they tend to be anxiety/depression meds and I am a rare zero depression type so when that phase of meds kicked in- I was SICK. So bottom line the Xanax XR works well for me. I am on 4 MG a day every m…

So fellas I have heard that sexual performance gets better after surgery as far as circulation and obviously being able to move around more after weight loss. What has your experience been can you tell a big difference?

Hey guys newbie here. My main question would be how can I expect to feel after healing from surgery doing physical work? I’m a construction worker for a natural gas company in NY. Since most machines do the heavy lifting Id like to say 30% to 40% of my job is manual labor, mostly the end of most jobs. (Sweeping, tamping, raking, shoveling dirt or black top etc). With that being said it’s been a major reason why I haven’t moved forward with my decision to have surgery. Since I’m not a fixed operator I’m on my feet most of my day and always on the move. My concern is the lack of nutrients mixed with the physically demanding work.

HI- I had surgery a few months ago and recently joined a boot-camp exercise class. The instructor gave the class a goal of trying to eat your weight in protein grams per day. So, currently I am around 200, which would mean I would need to aim for 200 grams of protein a day. It seems extreme. The other nutrition question I have surrounds fruit. I try to eat an apple a couple of times a week, but they are high in carbs. Is this OK or should I try a different fruit?

Hi- I had my sleeve in July 2018. I lost 40 pounds within 3 months and then have been stalled for a while. I started drinking diet soda again around that time. I am exercising and I do not think I am eating too much. Could the stall be linked to diet soda? I started at 240, I am now at 200. I am 5 feet 7, so I am trying to get to at least 180. Any thoughts?

Has anyone had luck with compression shirts, how to buy the correct size or a better brand. My stomach has a lot of loose skin. I have tried several and they seem to want to roll up over my stomach. Thanks

I have to wear a suit soon. My shirt fits in neck and arms. It is a little small but manageable around waist but the length is too short. I have a 19 34/35 and 20 34/35 that fit but the length is too short. Does anyone know if you can buy shirts that are longer without going to large in other parts of the shirt? I was going to try big and tall xl store. Thanks in advance

Hey dudes, I'm 3 weeks post op at the moment and anticipate being cleared to start lifting weights in the next week (hopefully) or few weeks. I've been going to the gym and just doing walking for now, but mostly getting my body adjusted to getting up and actually going to the gym before work. SO my questions: 1. What is the best type of weight training post op or what has been successful for any guys in here? I've worked out in the past and am familiar with several styles of working out like alternating muscle groups (i.e. back and bi's, chest and tri's, etc.). I'm also familiar with full body workouts a few days a week, compound exercises, light weights higher reps,…

My wife left me two years ago. One of the reasons I had WLS was because there isn't much demand for 300 pound guys in the dating market. While I still have 30-40 pounds left to lose I'm currently pretty average now size wise (38 inch pants; XL shirt). I updated my dating site photos and I've had some dates. But so far nothing has gone past the initial stages. I had been hoping (perhaps unreasonably) that being thinner would have made dating easier than this.

This is a little embarrassing, but as I have lost weight, without the extra pudge I’ve noticed that my ol boy is bigger, at least less is hiding and seems it, lol, but I have a new problem, now that the fat has come down and my skin is stretched more when I get erect I notice when I have sex I tear a lil sometimes because it seems like my penis is bigger and the skin has nowhere to come from now, I’m running out of skin, lol Are there any other men dealing with this same problem?

Hello I’m new here, I’m going for Lap-Band surgery on Saturday and I am having second thoughts. The surgery is not bothering me but everything I’m reading seems to be people are having issues a few years later, then switch to the sleeve. I originally wanted Lap-Band because it seemed to be the safest but it’s not looking that way. I know it has to be my decision but any advice on to do it or not. Thank you

Scheduled for surgery May 17 and i haven’t told a lot of people. Number 1 I’m nervous I’ve never had any type of surgery. Also on top of that the very few people who know all aren’t supportive but there’s a good amount who are but many seem to think I dnt need it by which one is my mom. I’m 31 years old 282 lbs and i really have struggled over the years with my weight and have been boarderline diabetic and hypertension. Has anyone else dealt with similar backlash? Btw my wife and I doing it together

Howdy, I am getting sleeved (revision, Band to Sleeve) in a couple of weeks. I have a question. I am an avid golfer and my buds from work and I, take a couple of golf trips a year. Usually to Myrtle Beach. Usually 4-5 days of golf and beer! We have a blast! Well, as much of a blast that 50 somethings can have. LOL . Our next outing is in late April and I am wondering how I will handle this! So, my question is this.......how is alcohol consumption after VGS? Is beer off limits? Thanks, Ray

Hey Guys - I'm almost 18 months post RNY and have been maintaining at my goal weight since April. I moved to Chicago (Lakeview) a few months ago and wonder if any of you are from the city? I've started looking for a good support group or friends in the area to help me stay on track - the holiday was pretty rough with all of the temptations, but I made it through pretty much unscathed. Any recommendations you have would be great!

Hey guys just wanted to check in. I know I have not been on very much. I've been dealing with weight gain and loss it's been up and down a lot, I know the holidays don't help but any thoughts would be helpful I've been up to 230 then down to 221 . I believe it was now back up to 226 as of today that's been up and down and I'm just not sure what's going on. I did have gallbladder surgery recently, learning that red meats not my friend. Any thoughts would be really really helpful thank you

Gentlemen, I posted this in another section but would like to get feedback from you men out there as it will probably be more my speed. I don't mind the women's input but I'm looking for weight lifting advice. I was cleared to start lifting but have to keep it light weight for now. I have experience and have done a ton of research but I'm at a loss for where to begin. I've got a bad back but I'm hoping that building and toning my back muscles will help alleviate it somewhat. I have a lot of videos to follow right now with just body weight workouts and will probably start out with those. I'll keep walking so that will take care of my cardio. What or how did you guys start…

Any chance anyone in the Spokane Wa. Looking to be an accountability buddy? Would really appreciate being able to talk with someone locally. About progress or decline. Or as I thing come up. I would interested in sharing personal contact info. Let me know thanks Glen

Surgery is scheduled for Jan 8th. Any guys scheduled around the same day that would be interested in sharing challenges and experiences, and to maintain accountability through the process?

Since pre-surgery men love to ask about extra inches gained thanks to weight loss... Before surgery, I didn’t, um, “break.” Now...I do. To the left, as it turns out. This may just be due to the fact that I’m wearing pants where the crotch sits higher than it used to, but...yeah.

Hey all. Its been a minute since I've posted in here. Been dealing with my own stall and weight regain over the last year. Been a rough year with job stress and buying a home, that it really didn't take that much for meto fall off track and let old habits creep back in. Over the last four weeks I've refoced and went back to the basics again. Counting callories, avoiding the things that don't help as much as I can (at least during the week), and hitting the gym more consistently. This time around where some things are easier to cope with, other things aren't. Its why I'm here. Needing that reminder that this isn't a race but a marathon of continued work, focus, and …

...to go to the gym and get eyeballed in a good way from the ladies there. Definitely keeps me motivated. I remember the days not too long ago where I would be eyeballed everywhere I went just because I was a 6'3" 400+lb guy and looked out of place in any setting. The new way of getting eyeballed is so much better.

For those who have essentially "leveled out", how long did it take? Obviously everyone has different bodies starting from different places, but from what I gather for VSG it seems that most people lose most of what they're going to lose within a year. Is that true? And is it 6 months? 9? Or do many people take years? (Disclaimer: I know this is a life-long change, and it's not just "bang" and done. Just trying to gauge how low I'll go and how long it'll take.)

Guys, have you noticed your beards growing a lot slower post-op? I used to get the 5 o'clock shadow very quickly. Now I can almost go a day without shaving. I heard of people losing head hair but that isn't a problem for me because I've been bald since I was 25. I am just amused that my goatee grows back really slowly now, same with the rest of my face.

Hi everyone, After I got out of a bad/ abusive/toxic relationship. I feel ever so lonely. I could literally go for days without talking to anyone outside my job if my family never called. I typically went to the supermarket Everyday so I could Exchange a few words with the cashier as stupid as it seems. During that whole period I turned to food to comfort and only now after breaking up with her over a year ago and finally kicking her out of my house a few months back I am getting back to how I was. Lost many close friends , distanced for family and now working it’s difficult to go out and ‘party’ .Most depressing part about it that my Ex was a feeder and I believe it…

I am having so much nausea does anyone know why? I have an awful smell in my nose and causing me not to eat did anyone ever have this I did have thrush and I think that nes screwed me up just curious if anyone is having these problems had gastric bypass oct 2nd thanks

Trying to figure out what my waist size will be for the winter. I've gone from a jeans 56 slowing to a 42 (Duluth Trading). 6'1, 265. Lost 130lb so far. I fit a Duluth Trading 42, but use Large sized underwear from Duluth, and K-Mart dept store brands. I can get a 40 to be about an inch from forcing it to close, just can't fit into a 40 yet. But, something that might come about in a couple months? I am still averaging 3+ lbs a week loosing, but stalls are more pronounced.

I'm just curious if any other guys have noticed the same issue I am dealing with. I had my lapband surgery back in 2011, and I've managed to lose quite a bit of weight, which is still thankfully dropping at a slow, but steady, rate. I'm now where I was back when I was in my mid twenties, at least as far as weight. But, my waist size seems to be several inches more than I recall what it was when I was at the same weigh when I was fifty years younger. Am I shrinking and compressing? LOL! My pants size is down considerably, but it is not where I think it should be. Is this normal?