Telling people.....

[cmdtl 0]

So I am not ashamed of the fact that I am having surgery to lose weight. Anyone who knows me knows how hard I have tried. I was talking to my mom yesterday and she told me that I shouldnt tell people. I was a little confused and asked her why. She said that I should just let them think I did it on my own. She didnt even want me to tell my step dad.... I cant do that! I know that when I lose weight he will buy my clothes and such. I would feel bad taking that money without him knowing. Has anyone else been through this? Am I wrong to tell people?:confused:

[ParrotheadCathy 0]

"She said that I should just let them think I did it on my own."

Oh, please! Like I waved a magic wand and you're skinny? OMG, you still have to make the right choices every day or the band is worthless.

I personally didn't, and don't, care who knows I had this wonderful thing done! I've never heard one negative comment about making this choice. There is nothing shameful about having the surgery. It takes a brave person (okay, yeah, lots of us were just fed up, too) to decide to do something about this awful problem we all share.

So you tell whomever you choose to tell! There will times when the scale isn't moving the way you want and a pat on the back for taking the giant step will make you feel so much better.

[ChanginMyStars 0]

cmdtl,

I can relate. Although my situation is slightly different. I am the one who has opted not to tell anyone unless they need to know. My family (hubby and kids) and my parents, sister and grandmother know is all and that is how I preffer it to be. I would not have this done and not tell my father.... if your step dad and you have any kind of a respectable relationship (and you probably do) than he would want to know about the surgery and would support you, but it is up to you tell him if you wish. This is your life, your surgery and YOUR choice to tell who you wish.

[Unforgettable 0]

The reasoning behind your mom's thought is ridiculous!

I personally have only told my immediate family and closest of friends so far. Not because I'm ashamed, but because this is a personal medical decision - I wouldn't tell everybody if I had a hysterectomy or something else like that. Unfortunately people tend to feel, especially when it comes to food, that their opinion is superior and will prove to be awe-inspiring to you. I don't want to hear it, and that's why I've kept it to a few people.

Now I know some people, when asked, come up with elaborate lies saying the scars are from gallbladder and what not. If someone were to ask me, I'm not going to lie. But not everybody has to know my business.

[cmdtl 0]

See the people I have told have been people I know are supportive. They are long time friends that have known my struggle and seen my go from my curvy size 9 to a huge size 26. I dont plan to announce it from the mountains but if asked or if it comes up, I wont lie.

~Changin, I know someone who had it done 3 years ago. She still tells people she lost 212 lbs with weight watchers..... no one believes her.

[Padanelle 2]

From the moment I made the decision to go aheads witrh the surgery, I have told EVERYBODY. I don't regreat it, as almoist everyone I told seemed to know someone who had WLS, and told me about their success with it. It was very encouraging.

[lapbandtalker 0]

So I am not ashamed of the fact that I am having surgery to lose weight. Anyone who knows me knows how hard I have tried. I was talking to my mom yesterday and she told me that I shouldnt tell people. I was a little confused and asked her why. She said that I should just let them think I did it on my own. She didnt even want me to tell my step dad.... I cant do that! I know that when I lose weight he will buy my clothes and such. I would feel bad taking that money without him knowing. Has anyone else been through this? Am I wrong to tell people?:thumbup::confused:

Treat this as you would ingrown toenails, bowel problems, and root canals. If you are the type to tell people your medical issues- sure, tell 'em.

But if you don't, then why would you consider this any different?

[mpw09 0]

I agree that it's a personal decision. If you are comfortable telling people, then tell them. Everybody is different. My mom had gastric bypass and she only told immediate family and a couple of close friends. She told everybody else she lost it with diet and exercise (which is technically true). I don't think she cared whether they believed her or not.

I'm still trying to decide what I'm going to do. I haven't even gone to my seminar yet, although my mind is completely made up about having the surgery. My main concern is what I'll tell the nosy people at work who ask what I'm doing to lose. They've seen my weight go up and down over the years. I'm always on a diet and saying no to the office donuts, but I'm still not sure what I'll say. They might assume I'm doing what I've always done (diet and exercise) and not ask.

Right now, I've only told my mom, sisters and a close friend (who has struggled with me to lose weight over the years). My mom and sisters are supportive, but the friend was very negative. :thumbup: This is why I've decided to keep it to myself ESPECIALLY before the surgery, because I don't want to hear the negativity. Sorry to be so long-winded. But I think you should do what YOU like. If you want to share it, do exactly that.

[Unforgettable 0]

Treat this as you would ingrown toenails, bowel problems, and root canals. If you are the type to tell people your medical issues- sure, tell 'em.

But if you don't, then why would you consider this any different?

Well said!!

[HappyHour54 0]

I am going through the same thing! I was banded yesterdayand only told my children and two friends.In the mean time I have been in bed and when people stopped by I just said I had a small procedure.Well now my one friend thinks I have cancer an am not telling!!Its not that I wont eventuatly tell,I just wanted to do this for me ,and did not want to hear what everyone had to say.Like ,"is insurance paying for it?" I am self pay and I made this life changing decision.I can't wait to look great and then I will tell.

[rmanns00 0]

I think that you have to do what is right and what feels okay with you. I have only told about 5 people(close relatives ie husband sister, friend) It is not that I am ashamed of having the surgery to lose weight because I am 43, my blood pressure is borderline and I am pre diabetic, so this was a health concern for me. Besides I did not want people constantly asking me how much weight have you lost, why haven't you lost more etc. I am so early in my journey that noone really needs to know. However if I lose another 40-50 pounds, and people ask how did you do it, I will be proud to tell them I had LapBAnd. I think as you lose weight and gain more self esteem and confidence that you might feel differntly about what to say. So I say take it one day at a time. Honesty is always the best answer. But I am choosing to wait until people start asking or noticing I am losing. Good luck to you.

[ChanginMyStars 0]

cmdtl,

Yeah I can see how nobody would buy that ww thing if the person who lost the weight was not known to put forth much effort to loose weight but at the same time my cusin lost a great deal of weigh threw ww and is doing a great job with it.

Everything is about personal choices.

Now myself, I have always kept my weight issues to myself. If I would diet... I choose not to speak about it because I have heard enough negitve feedback on my size therefore I don't talk about it. It has been my personal experence that people like to judge me before they care to see the reason behind my health issues so I shut down the info train years ago. However, I DO tell people the honest to goodness truth if they ask me and are genuanlly interested in what I have to say. People are going to think what ever they want regardless of what I tell them on my weightloss, so I tell them what I am comfortable telling them and let them make there own decition, cuz lets face it they will any way. So you do whatever feels right to you and don't let anyone change that. Like I said earlier...your live, your choice! Look luck to ya girl!! Wishing you all the best and a succesful jorney!

[Goal150 0]

DO NOT TELL KEEP IT TO YOURSELF:) I have only told a few people i can trust the rest when they ask , i say no carbs and 6X week excersize witch is the truth.

[gtbadkitty 0]

I was just thinking about this myself. I have told my mom, sister and a few close friends, but I don't want the people I work with to know. That's going to be difficult considering we're all pretty close and I know my boss is going to be concerned about me taking time off for surgery. And I know the gossipers at work will be wondering how I am suddenly losing weight and keeping it off. Rumors get started easily and not that I care what certain people think, I don't want my boss to think I'm seriously ill or something! I guess I will just deal with that when the time comes.

I say that if you feel like telling everyone, go for it! It's a big decision and you should be proud that you have taken this step to get healthier. But if you want to keep it to yourself for whatever reasons, then that's what you should do. It's your body, your life, your decision!

[kossde 6]

My father works with a woman who had lap band surgery three years ago. She came back after work and promptly began losing mass amounts of weight. My father came to me a year and a half ago and said, "Jenny at work had Lap band surgery. She used to weigh about what you do now but now she's much thinner and you should see how much happier she seems- she absolutely glows."

Ok so I thought to myself, "Lap band? What's that?" and did some research. Boom! A year and a half later, I have lost 170 lbs. I'm much happier and I absolutely glow.

What if Jenny didn't tell her co-workers how she lost her weight? Would I have ever researched it and decided to have the surgery? Or would I still be overweight and very unhappy?

I don’t believe anyone here has a responsibility to tell others how they lost weight but I will never keep it a secret. This surgery has made my life so much better that I couldn’t fathom keeping that from someone else who might benefit from this knowledge the way I did.

As far as your mom goes- she’s being unrealistic. I would just explain to her the truth. This isn’t an easy surgery to keep secret. Besides, there will be times before and after the surgery that you may sincerely need the support of your family and friends. You will never have that support if they do not know what is happening.

Also think of the health risk. What if you are hanging out with your step dad and are in a car accident? Your step dad is ok but you are seriously injured. They paramedics ask your dad, “Are there any health concerns?” and he, not knowing about the band, says “No.” Could you imagine how much damage they could do to your stomach and band if they decide to stuff a tube down your throat and punch a hole through the stoma?