Do you need to lose those pounds you've gained?

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,281]

FINALLY...someone I can relate to. I was banded September 2007, went from 252 down to 192. I was doing really well, then stopped losing. I have not lost any weight in months. I have gained, how much I do not know because I am afraid to get on the scale. I can tell I've gained because my pants are a little more snug then they were. I am filled as much as I can be. That's not the problem. The problem is that I can eat, more so in the late afternoon - evening & I take advantage of it. I am so disgusted. I guess my expectations of myself and this whole process were too high. I do PB sometimes, almost daily to be honest. It's just the evenings that get me. I know we are supposed to be eating tiny meals, chewing a thousand times before swallowing, not drinking with meals, etc. but for me it doesn't matter, no matter what I do I cannot lose anymore.

I also love Slim fast, so I was thinking that I should drink one for lunch, and then eat a lean cuisine for dinner. At least I would have Portion Control again. WHY am I in this position again? I never thought I'd be dealing with this ever again!!! I am so glad I found this post. I want to be held accountable to someone and hopefully this is it. Once i reached my one year anniversary, it's almost as though I've dropped off the face of the earth as far as my doctor is concerned.

((((((justwant2lose))))))

Welcome! I'm here for you, and I totally relate to your struggles. However, you made it to onederland!! That is so fantastic!

Whether or not you are still there should not make you feel any worse. Think about it like this, you could have gained more back right now. That is something I always have to remember myself. I could have gained back so much more, trust me. I know what I'm capable of - and like I mentioned many posts back, I don't even like to look back on those days...

Maybe I should though. You know, I need to be reminded of where I started. What lead me to the decision to do something about losing weight in the first place. It was for a great many reasons, and one of them was to look better and feel better about myself. To gain control of my health that was spiraling out of control and I was only 31 years old! I was just miserable and I wanted to feel good about myself and feel strong and healthy!

I'm so glad you are here, we all need each other - and I know it that we don't need to hear all the canned responses. We need people to identify with if we are going to make this work.

Then when we finally do reach that place we had always intended, it will be that much sweeter, that much more victorious. Why? Well, I think because we fought so much harder than other might have with the band.

Oh no doubt they all have struggled, but when you stall or gain weight with the band you just enter a whole other side of it. I imagine it will be the best feeling to know we have over come our tribulation!

The Lean Cuisine idea is a fantastic one. In fact, I had that same idea in mind. I do the Slim Fast diet and my "sensible meal" is the Lean Cuisine or whatever else is on sale at the grocery mart.

I did want to break that monotony however because the meals truly aren't as healthy as they can be. I was thinking doing the LC's Monday thru Wednesday. Thursday has always been my fun meal where I get to eat the dinner of my choice (going out), and Friday through Sunday are usually home made meals. They are healthier because they are fresh and tend to have less salt in them.

I trust that would do me very well as I get back into doing what I'm supposed to. Along with my good exercise routine I should start losing again, without gaining of course!

I have also told myself enough with the ice-cream and chips. Now, I don't have it really bad with the ice-cream but for some reason when I eat them it tends to lead to worse. Then the chips, I just can't seem to control my intake when it comes to those, so you know... I've just got to end that relationship. I do, it's over. It's like alcohol to me or a drug. It serves no good nutritional value and only hurts me in the long run.

So I say to you, thank you for joining and I do hope to hear from you more. I believe in all of us that we can make this work.

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,281]

I have alot of accomplishments already! I did my slim fasts during the day and my only two Snacks were fresh fruit. A small banana and a baby tangerine. Yes! I did it!! Woohooo!!! And to think, someone tried to tempt me with their delectable chocolate chocolate chips... Hmmm... not this time buddy!

For my exercise routine I completed the stationery bike for up to a 3 resistance which works good to allow me to bring up my heart rate and keep the level at or above endurance. I feel really great right now... you have no idea! I ended up doing 45 minutes for 11.5 miles.

I did miss doing my afternoon break with the stairs. That's okay, I'm not going to let that bring me down at all. Today was my first day and I won't be doing it again until Monday anyhow. It was spur of the moment and at least I did that! It's a start. Besides, I have to watch my knees since I was told I have arthritis in them... so sad. It has ended my running for the time being. I think I'll take that back up once I hit onederland.

One thing I miss doing is my walks. I usually like to get in 2.25 miles during my lunch break. It's been raining here on and off, included with my bronchitis I've been struggling with the last few weeks it just hasn't happened. I'm positive the second I get back out there I'll feel even better!

I have a few bits of good news though! Today was a blessed day for sure!! I'm so stoked!

Well, at work I'm on a Limited Term status and my term was to end as of June 30. Heck, that's only two months away! Well, my boss calls me on my cell this afternoon and tells me he was able to get HR to extend my term another 12 months! HOORAYYYY!!! Whew, I'm so relieved as far as that is concerned! I still have 14 months to try to find something that is permanent and on my level. You see, if my term ends, I get demoted. I miss out on lots of money per month, and we already had nearly 10% paycuts due to economy issues. Wow, what perfect timing.

Not only that, I have always dreamed of lateralling into becoming an Accounting Analyst. Well turns out there was this position posted for another agency and I contacted someone over at that agency. I didn't know that person was the Administrator! She seemed like she like me right away! So she tells me she'll have HR look into the possibility of getting me a transfer and to turn in my app. This was yesterday... I did right away!

Then I get a phone call and it's one of my former supervisors. She said she had my app that I sent in yesterday for that position. She works there now and she was so glad I applied for it! She told me not to worry, that she would put in a good word for me with the Administrator (who already seemed interested). We chatted for a few minutes, and I was feeling so great! Then I get a call 30 minutes later for an interview next week!!! Woohooo!! I guess I qualify, they are giving me an interview. They check all that out before giving them out (at least I hope they did... LOL, they usually do...) Anyway, I spoke to one of their HR staff yesterday and she asked me a few questions, so I know their HR checked on me.

I'm just having a really great day and thought I'd share. I'm so sooo happy! I got my State Tax Refund today too, and bought me a new Coach purse, coin purse and badge holder too! I love it!

Haha! Well sorry, I know I'm writing me *ss off right now. I'm a writer, that's what I do.. LOL

TTFN, and until next time.

[justwant2lose 0]

Hello Little Miss Diva!

I am SO glad I found you! We do need a place where we can get support and not negative feedback...I agree that is the last thing we need. We are hard on ourselves enough already! I think we should just realize that we need to take this journey one day at a time. I tend to get overwhelmed thinking about the "big picture". And, like you, I know what I am capable of and I do not want to return to that dark place. Reading your posts has made me put things into perspective and realize that even though I have gained some, I did not gain back all of the weight I lost. My biggest problem is emotional eating...I am sure most of us have that problem. I am going to exercise more, eat better, and not be so hard on myself. I was at a place not too long ago where food was the last thing on my mind. I want to go back to that place. I want to be held accountable to someone other than myself..it used to be my doctor. I just feel totally alone as I do not know anyone who has had the lap band. I need a buddy! It sounds like you have been doing really well the past couple of days. Life seems so much easier when you can control your eating. I don't know why, but it does. All I have had today was two cups of coffee. I can't eat in the morning, usually til at least noon. For lunch I am planning to eat a lean cusine. I was looking online last night for a good Protein shake. I haven't really been following the rules for eating with the band, and I want to start so that I can get to losing again. I hope you have a great day and let us know how it goes!

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,281]

just, anytime you need to, you come here and we can do this together!

Anyone for that matter. No judgements here!

Yes, I've been especially good these last few days, but I think you struck a chord when you mentioned emotional eating. Things in my personal life have left me in a good mood. Could this be why I have been more readily exercising and eating like a bandster should? I don't know. I have considered going to Overeaters Anonymous even. I need to dig a little deeper it seems!

Today has been a success so far, but of course it's only 10 AM! I know I can get through it, I have to. I have to do it and do it right.

And today is day 7 and NO DORITOS!

LOL! My drug has been quiet, but I know when the time comes it will rear its ugly head. Will I be able to resist?

Well, they say one day at a time, and today will be successful.

[BethFromVA 5]

I love reading your posts, Irene. :thumbup: You're da bomb!

[BethFromVA 5]

Yes, I've been especially good these last few days, but I think you struck a chord when you mentioned emotional eating. Things in my personal life have left me in a good mood. Could this be why I have been more readily exercising and eating like a bandster should? I don't know.

My own input... I think it makes a HUGE difference. When we feel good, we are more readily able to choose good things. When we feel bad, we tend to choose things that are bad for us, whether it's something we shouldn't eat or simply choosing not to exercise.

I know that when I have been really down in the dumps, I have NOT wanted to exercise. I have to almost physically force myself to do so, reminding myself of how good I feel (physically and mentally) once I do it. I think it has to do with endorphins and all that other stuff we hear about. :thumbup:

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,281]

I love reading your posts, Irene. :laugh: You're da bomb!

Why thank you! I just hope by doing this to inspire myself, and to help others along the way. This is so hard, and the thing I need to work on most is kind of giving myself a break! Keeping myself positive!

My own input... I think it makes a HUGE difference. When we feel good, we are more readily able to choose good things. When we feel bad, we tend to choose things that are bad for us, whether it's something we shouldn't eat or simply choosing not to exercise.

I know that when I have been really down in the dumps, I have NOT wanted to exercise. I have to almost physically force myself to do so, reminding myself of how good I feel (physically and mentally) once I do it. I think it has to do with endorphins and all that other stuff we hear about. :drool:

Oh so true! I think I'm going to do some research on that endorphine stuff. Now I'm in search of... time. LOL!!

Thank you so much Beth for your support! I'm working on that fruit thing and it's helping alot. I've always liked it, but I'm finding I'm starting to love it.

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,281]

I have an accomplishment and that is I did 3 days of Calisthenics this week. I usually end up skipping one day due to time constraints. I did it anyway though! I need to stop using that time factor as an excuse not to exercise. I do it, but not as much as I should. For someone who has been doing this for years, I really need to do more than what I have been.

My slacking is in ways of, "Oh well, I'll just do 30 minutes on my stationary bike" when I know darn well I should do more than that. 30 minutes barely breaks a sweat on me. I'm not really getting a good workout unless I'm doing at least 45 minutes.

Also, I usually end up eating my "chips" and mainly Doritos on weekends. I am a 3 day weekend person too. I work an alternate work schedule. So, I feel accomplished with the fact I haven't had any since last Saturday. Today will be another day without them.

I am seriously addicted to chips. They are a major trigger food and a huge contributor to my inability to continue my weight loss. I know this and I just have to cut them out of my diet, always and forever.

Those aren't the only things I have decided to cut out. I'm also giving up the ice-cream. ALL ice-cream, even the fat free. Chips and Ice-Cream do much of the same. I have not been able to eat the "better" versions of them such as Baked Lay's or the Slow Churned. They don't taste close enough and all they do is make me long for the real deal more.

So, what can I do? All I can do is make that awful choice to just never have them. I am uncontrollable with them, and the only way I can control them is to totally give them up.

I know I can do it. There is no doubt! I gave up sodas and I never even think about them. Yes, I think I've had a sip here and there, but with the band it is a really bad idea. Even one sip! Not only that example, but I have been struggling with this addiction since I've been banded. I went 35 days once without them. I can't remember why I ended up eating them again, but that's not what is important. What is important with that example is that I know it's possible.

I last ate chips last Saturday. It's now been one full week. It's the weekend so the absense of them is more prevalent than any other time of the week. I crave them most during that "time" but that's not for a few more weeks. However, I'll deal with that when the time comes. I've gone through it before without them, and I'll do it again.

So far, success.

I haven't lost much... LOL!! I'd think I'd have started to lose some by now but I haven't. To that I say, C'est la vie! I won't let that be a trigger to just give up! The scale will move when it's ready. As long as I'm doing the right thing, it will have NO CHOICE eventually. :laugh:

How are YOU doing? That is directed to anyone and everyone who is reading this. :drool:

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,281]

Hello is anyone out there? LOL! I understand it was Easter weekend. I'm sure everyone was out having a good time. Hopefully you were able to stay away from all the chocolate bunnies! :tongue:

I am seriously angered right now! I have no clue what on Earth is going on with me! I have been almost perfect for a over a week now and I gained weight!! How is that even possible? I'm starting to suspect it might be the Symbicort inhaler my doctor prescribed me for my asthma. It apparently has cortico steroids in it. I don't have any other ideas... because I have been eating good, and have maintained my exercise routine. I'm even doing more than usual even!! I feel like I'm in a nightmare or something.

I even went online and googled "Symbicort weight gain". To my surprise it does seem to be a side effect of this drug. My doctor must have known this when giving it to me. The thing is, all these people mentioned eating alot. I haven't though. I've really been exercising my better judgement and my will power has been above par. I haven't even so much as touched a chip in 9 days now. Why am I gaining weight??? :smile:

It gets so frustrating! Anway, back to the Symbicort, apparently it can cause some Water retention. I have been drinking massive amounts of water too, so maybe it is that. I have decided to stop taking the Symbicort. I do take Cingulair and for the most part it does help with my Asthma. I just had a rough patch after getting sick this time around and she gave me something more. I cannot deal with Steroids and I'll avoid them at all costs, unless I feel like I'm dying. LOL!!

So, hopefully I can remain strong minded and vigilant - and not "give up". I really don't want to, but sometimes it doesn't even seem worth it. Don't worry about me saying that, I know it IS worth it, for my health, my looks, my self-esteem - all that.

Ugh... I'll still keep on it. I'm just really feeling down right now. Plus, it seems the Symbicort results in mood swings too. This stuff just isn't for me.

On a side note, I have decided to try the Slim Shots, and looks like little coffee Creamers. It has helped me with the hunger I get. Maybe Lap-Band + Slim-Shots = Successful-Diva... hehe! I hope! The hunger has been my only issue. However, my choices to curb the hunger have been much better lately.

How is everyone else doing out there???

[MBT 0]

I got my lap band in Aug. 2007. The first year I lost 40 lbs. easily. I am now up 13 lbs. and I don't know if I can do anything about it. I am very depressed, embarrassed and ashamed. I don't even want to go to my lap band doctor because I feel like such a failure. I also do not need a fill. I can eat ice cream and other Desserts without any problem, however, I throw up chicken, eggs, beef and anything healthy. I am an emotional eater and I don't know how to stop. If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know.

[BethFromVA 5]

I got my lap band in Aug. 2007. The first year I lost 40 lbs. easily. I am now up 13 lbs. and I don't know if I can do anything about it. I am very depressed, embarrassed and ashamed. I don't even want to go to my lap band doctor because I feel like such a failure. I also do not need a fill. I can eat ice cream and other desserts without any problem, however, I throw up chicken, eggs, beef and anything healthy. I am an emotional eater and I don't know how to stop. If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know.

Have you thought about seeing a therapist who deals with eating disorders? I know I am looking for one -- not because I need one now, but when I start losing large amounts (around 70 pounds), something happens and I "freak out" and have reversed myself in the past. Granted, those were diets I failed, and this is not a diet, but I know that is a weakness of mine.

Since many of us are emotional eaters, it would be good for us to tap into those emotions with somebody who understands our eating issues as well.

[want_so_bad 0]

diva- congrats on the no chips. its great that you have recognized that you just have to say no to keep from falling into old habits. that is something i need to do myself. find that strength and determination. i know i can do it to when i put my mind to it. i have not had any, ANY, pop since surgery. i am so proud of myself for that. i was a HUGE drinker of mountain dew and pepsi. now crystal light is my thing. dont really like plain old Water, but with some crystal light or lemon its great.

i started drinking 1 oz shots of this juice stuff my mom had. it has that acai berry and a bunch of Vitamins and stuff in it. i cant remember the name, i will have to look tonight. anyways, it has totally stopped my appetite. its a freakin miracle! its great.

and i go early tomorrow morning for a fill. i am a little worried. since my fill a month ago i can eat anything and have NO restriction. i just dont want to find a leak or anything wrong. i am all paranoid about having stretched my pouch. guess i will find out in the morning.

[Doxie 2]

Hi Diva,

I feel your pain with the need for the Symbicort. I take Advair 250/50 and have for 9 years now. The Drs all try to tell me that it doesn't affect weight but I know it does. I also think that this medication contributed to me having high blood pressure ~ it is listed as a side effect and along with the weight gain (and inability to lose weight), how can you not develop HBP? Because all asthma meds contain some form of an inhaled steroid, we tend to have problems with Water retention (hence weight gain). It's a vicious cycle. If you don't take it, you can't breathe as well and can get very sick...if you do, you have all the nasty side effects to deal with. The steroid is what reduces the inflammation in the lungs that make it hard to breathe. I had slacked off on the Advair and got sick enough I had to go on Prednisone for a week back in Feb. It really slowed things down for me, I didn't gain but I didn't lose for a bit either.

Where you taking anything besides the Singulair before the Dr prescribed the Symbicort? I would hate for you to get sick again and have to go on a course of Prednisone to get back on track. If you think the Symbicort is bad....

I know you were teasing with your comment about not taking it unless you are dying, I used to have the same thoughts....until I super sick last year with bronchitis and realized how serious having asthma really is. I didn't realize how many people can and do die from a bad asthma attack and it is so easy to go downhill fast. I was very flippant about carrying my albuterol with me and having trouble knowing when I need to use it. I tend to wait until I am so far gone that the albuterol isn't very effective. Do you use a peak flow meter? I'm trying to get better at using it.

I also have most of side effects listed (they are pretty much the same for Advair and Symbicort) but when I quit taking the Advair, I tend to get so sick it doesn't make it worth it. I'm just trying to learn to live with it for now. I am starting allergy shots again today and I am hopeful that if I reduce my allergic reactions that it will in turn help my asthma and maybe I can get off these nasty meds eventually.

I enjoy reading your posts and wish you all the best. You are doing great.

I am seriously angered right now! I have no clue what on Earth is going on with me! I have been almost perfect for a over a week now and I gained weight!! How is that even possible? I'm starting to suspect it might be the Symbicort inhaler my doctor prescribed me for my asthma. It apparently has cortico steroids in it. I don't have any other ideas... because I have been eating good, and have maintained my exercise routine. I'm even doing more than usual even!! I feel like I'm in a nightmare or something.

I even went online and googled "Symbicort weight gain". To my surprise it does seem to be a side effect of this drug. My doctor must have known this when giving it to me. The thing is, all these people mentioned eating alot. I haven't though. I've really been exercising my better judgement and my will power has been above par. I haven't even so much as touched a chip in 9 days now. Why am I gaining weight??? :smile:

It gets so frustrating! Anway, back to the Symbicort, apparently it can cause some Water retention. I have been drinking massive amounts of water too, so maybe it is that. I have decided to stop taking the Symbicort. I do take Cingulair and for the most part it does help with my Asthma. I just had a rough patch after getting sick this time around and she gave me something more. I cannot deal with Steroids and I'll avoid them at all costs, unless I feel like I'm dying. LOL!!

Ugh... I'll still keep on it. I'm just really feeling down right now. Plus, it seems the Symbicort results in mood swings too. This stuff just isn't for me.

[BethFromVA 5]

With Advair being steroid-based, it's hard to believe that it doesn't affect weight.

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,281]

I got my lap band in Aug. 2007. The first year I lost 40 lbs. easily. I am now up 13 lbs. and I don't know if I can do anything about it. I am very depressed, embarrassed and ashamed. I don't even want to go to my lap band doctor because I feel like such a failure. I also do not need a fill. I can eat ice cream and other desserts without any problem, however, I throw up chicken, eggs, beef and anything healthy. I am an emotional eater and I don't know how to stop. If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know.

MBT, it is quite possible you might be too tight. Sometimes when a pt. is too thight they will substitute the good food for slider foods, like the ice cream you mentioned. Not sure if you have had this looked into yet or not, just a suggestion.

I totally agree with the emotional eater, I am very much so an emotional eater too. I think majority of us are, and sometimes some of us will fall off track with the willpower not to do this. I believe it probably might benefit any one of us to seek help in this matter. I'm not sure it is something we can deal with on our own. I'm seriously considering joining OA. That in itself I think will take every ounce of courage I have. I know there is a meeting this Wednesday evening a few miles from me. I hope I can get myself in there!

diva- congrats on the no chips. its great that you have recognized that you just have to say no to keep from falling into old habits. that is something i need to do myself. find that strength and determination. i know i can do it to when i put my mind to it. i have not had any, ANY, pop since surgery. i am so proud of myself for that. i was a HUGE drinker of mountain dew and pepsi. now crystal light is my thing. dont really like plain old Water, but with some crystal light or lemon its great.

i started drinking 1 oz shots of this juice stuff my mom had. it has that acai berry and a bunch of Vitamins and stuff in it. i cant remember the name, i will have to look tonight. anyways, it has totally stopped my appetite. its a freakin miracle! its great.

and i go early tomorrow morning for a fill. i am a little worried. since my fill a month ago i can eat anything and have NO restriction. i just dont want to find a leak or anything wrong. i am all paranoid about having stretched my pouch. guess i will find out in the morning.

Best of luck on the fill! I haven't personally felt I've needed one in awhile. I might even consider getting a little taken out. I'm not super tight where I can't even drink or choke on my own saliva, but eating a solid well balanced meal is really difficult for me. I don't think we should have to be that tight. There is no amount of tightness I've learned for myself that will work to curb my hunger. The only thing the band is helpful to me is to keep me from eating massive amounts. I'll just have to learn to live with that at this time.

I hear ya with the sodas even! Wow, I was so addicted to Pepsi and A&W Rootbeer. So good! But so bad for you too! Now I look at people getting those buckets of soda and I just feel disgust. Maybe I shouldn't and instead feel empathy, but no - I just can't stand it!!

Hi Diva,

I feel your pain with the need for the Symbicort. I take Advair 250/50 and have for 9 years now. The Drs all try to tell me that it doesn't affect weight but I know it does. I also think that this medication contributed to me having high blood pressure ~ it is listed as a side effect and along with the weight gain (and inability to lose weight), how can you not develop HBP? Because all asthma meds contain some form of an inhaled steroid, we tend to have problems with Water retention (hence weight gain). It's a vicious cycle. If you don't take it, you can't breathe as well and can get very sick...if you do, you have all the nasty side effects to deal with. The steroid is what reduces the inflammation in the lungs that make it hard to breathe. I had slacked off on the Advair and got sick enough I had to go on Prednisone for a week back in Feb. It really slowed things down for me, I didn't gain but I didn't lose for a bit either.

Where you taking anything besides the Singulair before the Dr prescribed the Symbicort? I would hate for you to get sick again and have to go on a course of Prednisone to get back on track. If you think the Symbicort is bad....

I know you were teasing with your comment about not taking it unless you are dying, I used to have the same thoughts....until I super sick last year with bronchitis and realized how serious having asthma really is. I didn't realize how many people can and do die from a bad asthma attack and it is so easy to go downhill fast. I was very flippant about carrying my albuterol with me and having trouble knowing when I need to use it. I tend to wait until I am so far gone that the albuterol isn't very effective. Do you use a peak flow meter? I'm trying to get better at using it.

I also have most of side effects listed (they are pretty much the same for Advair and Symbicort) but when I quit taking the Advair, I tend to get so sick it doesn't make it worth it. I'm just trying to learn to live with it for now. I am starting allergy shots again today and I am hopeful that if I reduce my allergic reactions that it will in turn help my asthma and maybe I can get off these nasty meds eventually.

I enjoy reading your posts and wish you all the best. You are doing great.

Hi! Thanks for your reply! Finally someone who understands my plight. It just sucks!

Yes, I was prescribed the Advair before and gave much of the same side effect. I also hated how the powder felt in my lungs. I know I really should take it like I should. My doctor was a bit upset that I hadn't been taking it... But oh well! I'm trying to lose weight, and I've even heard that losing weight helps with Asthma. I'm trying to find out if that's true! LOL!!

I've had to take Prednisone before, and it's been several years since then but I do remember gaining some then too. I really hate steroids!! Ugh! :smile:

I also have HBP, and my doctor really tries to keep me from taking Prednisone, especially now since I've had the Lap-Band. She was going to prescribe that next if I didn't get better, but I've been feeling much better now since she gave me the Azithromycin. IDK, it's just stinks!

My Asthma only really gives me issues during the spring time, and mostly when the Oak trees are giving off their pollen. Crazy thing is I work in Downtown Sacramento, and those suckers are everywhere!! Oh well, what can I do. Just deal with it when necessary.

Speaking of allergy shots, my doctor did mention them to me a bit ago. As of right now I take Zyrtec, Chlorpheniramine and of course as I mentioned my Cingulair, but that's more geared toward my Asthma. My asthma is a result of my bad allergies though. I also sometimes will take Pseudoephedrine as needed (Sudafed), but it adversely affects my HBP, so I have to use that in moderation.

I'm all messed up!