....except my husband of course. not even my son knows.

weight has always been an issue with me. whenever i see family and friends after any length of time, there is always the initial once over weight assessment. my father always says i look like i've lost weight which is his way of mentioning it when he and i both know it isn't true. there was a time when i thought maybe he imagined me heavier than i actually am.

i've never been comfortable talking to anyone about my weight or my struggles unless i'm at a successful time and, of course, those times aren't long lived. it's as if everyone is just watching and waiting for me to start gaining. and i only chat to my other overweight friends, clearly realizing just how unrealisitic it is to try to ask a normal weight person to relate.

during this entire pre-op process, i've been complaining about stomach and esophagus problems. i've mentioned how it's hard to eat some foods and how other foods get stuck. i've had esophagus tests and endoscopic tests and it all coincides with my stories. i am having hiatal hernia surgery at the same time i'm being banded. i'm telling everyone i'm having hernia and esophagus surgery at the same time. they are keeping me overnight. so far it's working. when i start to lose weight, i'll just say there are foods i can't eat and foods that get stuck and i will say the only advantage is weight loss.

this is not because i'm embarrased to admit i need a surgically impanted device to sustain will power. it's because i don't like talking about my weight. and i get embarrased easily when i get attention, especially from men.

what are you telling people?

I'm not telling anyone either. I am taking two weeks off from work, vacation. I need to stay overnight and wondered - can I drive myself home. I can't see why not.

Thanks! best of luck to you as well! I hope everything works out well for you!

I simply didn't want to hear ANY negatives or have 'poisonous' little seeds planted.

As it turns out I am looking to have the port removed but I have extenuating circumstances.

It sounds like you have a good attitude about it & are willing to do what it takes to reach success. Best of luck to you.

I think you should do what you think is right for you. It is your business, your health, and if you are comfortable with your decision so be it!! Good Luck!!

I'm just starting this whole process. I went to the seminar last night, met with my primary care physician yesterday, etc.. I've talked to my mother, husband, and our 17 year old daughter. I need their support for something like this. They are all behind me 100%. I've also talked to my boss because we have to schedule time off in advance, and I didn't want any weird questions about sick days and stuff. She is overweight and very supportive of LBS. She has promised not to tell anyone at work.

I feel it is private and don't want to share with anyone else!

Congratulations!! You must be so excited about your surgery.I did the same exact thing. Just my husband and a few family members.I told my boss and was so glad because I had a few complications that kept me from going back to work for a while. You don't need to tell them what kind of surgery you are having...just that you are having surgery!! I didn't tell anyone at work, but they all found out when I was admitted to the hospital that I worked at..figures...how embarassing. I am doing great 2 months later and I am so happy I had it done. I am down 33lbs in 8 wks, 65 in all. It's the best decision I ever made, and you will be happy too. Good Luck and let us know how it's going.

Thanks! best of luck to you as well! I hope everything works out well for you!

Hi Circa/Lolagirlie,

Thanks so much for your good wishes. I'm investigating traveling to another state to have my band removed & I'm STILL not telling anyone. The airline, motel rates & misc. expenses are still not as expensive as the exorbitant rates wanted in Phoenix. The dr. there is covered 100% by both my insurances so I have no out of pocket expenses but the ones mentioned.

I hope you all have continuing success.

Kennedy, let me know what you decide on. Best of luck and hope you are feeling better soon!!

Yeah, I'm not telling either. Just my husband, mom and day, sister and bestfriend of 20 years. I can totally trust them and know they will be nothing but happy and supportive.

I also agree with the one posted. I don't in anyway look at it as lying. Your medical choices and records are of private matter and we don't owe anyone any info we're not comfortable sharing.

I often wonder if when I hit goal or something like that if I will tell people? I don't know. All I know is, everything I've read and am preparing for says I need to do the work to make it work, so it's not like we have some super "weight loss fountain" we took a dip in. We are putting in a lot of time and effort pre and post surgery and for life.

This is my first post on this forum. :rolleyes2: Great topic. I am in the beginning stages and having pre-op GI/abdominal ultrasound tomorrow. I told my doctor I wasn't going to tell anyone and she was very much in agreement. She said everyone is different in how they handle their private life. I am very private and am usually an open book about way too much in my life. Recently, I've decided that I don't have to tell people everything that happens to me. Telling one person will more than likely lead to others knowing ... as much as you'd like to think they won't tell anyone most people can't help themselves and will spill...especially when you start to lose a lot of weight. So I've just decided no one needs to know.

So, to me, it takes the most courage to not tell people....you have to deal with everything by yourself....but thank goodness for forums like this. It seems like people are pretty supportive.

I have to have another surgery so have decided to schedule the lapband at the same time. It also takes care of what to tell my boss. I work fairly independently so co-workers aren't an issue. I do have a friend who will drive me there and pick me up as I don't think they will let you drive home..especially if you are leaving the same day as your surgery. She knows that I have to have this other surgery so I'm not even going to tell her. Just praying there are no complications...

Good luck to everyone out there. I am hoping to have my surgery in June if insurance approves and doesn't make me redo the 6 month physician diet (did it a year or two ago).

Good Luck!! Let us know how everything is going. Your decisions need not have any qualifications for others. You are doing the right thing for YOU and the surgery is about you and nobody else. This is a very private battle, and you need everything to be positive.!!

I just realized that there are a TON of people that know I'm being banded! There's my PCP, her nurse, the receptionist at her office, my specialist, my IV tech, the 3 nurses in that office, The surgeon, his assistants, the guy at the insurance company I talked to yesterday (along with some sort of approval committee, I'm sure), The anestetician, the surgical staff at the hospital, admitting, an orderly or two, a floor nurse or two, my husband, all of you, etc. So if this many people know about me, then this many people must know about you! Its not that you aren't telling anyone - its that you're not telling EVERYONE.

Before surgery I only told 3 people. Since surgery just Tuesday I told more..mostly because I unexpectantly had a Hernea. So im let people know I had that fixed. The band was the lesser of the 2 operations.

If you tell everyone your getting it your opening yourself up to discussion. I prefer not to be the center focal point in the weight catagory because I am embarrased....except when i am on this board or with the staff that banded me.

I have a support group for Alcohal and I only discuss alcohal with them. Here I will discuss weight. Outside of my trusted groups there is no reason to talk about it. I might open up about it more as time goes on.

Some people are really open about it to everyone, I dont see a problem with that either.

Bottom line is it is your business and if you don't want anyone to know then don't tell them. there are plenty of caddy judgemental people out there that will be happy to judge your choice and talk about you and discourage you.

So if you are asking for advice, which i think you are since you posted here...mine is tell who you are comfortible telling. If your mood changes about it over time then tell more people. You don't have to decide "I'm not telling anyone" then stick to that choice forever. You can certainly start with that position. Once you lose weight you'll probably be happy to tell more people since they will ask how you did it.

"Just roll with it".

....except my husband of course. not even my son knows.

weight has always been an issue with me. whenever i see family and friends after any length of time, there is always the initial once over weight assessment. my father always says i look like i've lost weight which is his way of mentioning it when he and i both know it isn't true. there was a time when i thought maybe he imagined me heavier than i actually am.

i've never been comfortable talking to anyone about my weight or my struggles unless i'm at a successful time and, of course, those times aren't long lived. it's as if everyone is just watching and waiting for me to start gaining. and i only chat to my other overweight friends, clearly realizing just how unrealisitic it is to try to ask a normal weight person to relate.

during this entire pre-op process, i've been complaining about stomach and esophagus problems. i've mentioned how it's hard to eat some foods and how other foods get stuck. i've had esophagus tests and endoscopic tests and it all coincides with my stories. i am having hiatal hernia surgery at the same time i'm being banded. i'm telling everyone i'm having hernia and esophagus surgery at the same time. they are keeping me overnight. so far it's working. when i start to lose weight, i'll just say there are foods i can't eat and foods that get stuck and i will say the only advantage is weight loss.

this is not because i'm embarrased to admit i need a surgically impanted device to sustain will power. it's because i don't like talking about my weight. and i get embarrased easily when i get attention, especially from men.

what are you telling people?

Circa, That's a great way of saying it!!! Cali

Wow I just read your post and I am EXACTLY like you... I even told a co-worker I am having the hernia repair. Told my family though. Just don't want the attention and the questions and the opinions and ect. ect. ect. I can't beleive you took the words right out of my mouth. Thanks for posting such a personal post, it sure helped me to feel like I am not alone.

Thank you....

Im not telling anyone because frankly its no ones business, if they find out so be it. But I don't need a whole bunch of people parading around worrying about what I did when they got a bucket load of their own problems, yes skinny people have problems too...lol.

I have always been like this, I am not losing weight because I care what people think, I am losing weight because their is certain thing I want to do in life, and their are certain clothes I like, and most importantly MY HEALTH.

If your not telling because you dont want people to judge you then your motives are wrong, dont tell becuase frankly its no one elses business.

Micah P.