I hear this from my clients all the time, they are "Self Sabotaging" themselves and don't know why. I know I was guilty of doing this in year two and didn’t even realize I was doing it. For me I fell into a comfort zone, I liked the new clothes I was wearing, my new found self assured attitude, and my life focus had shifted. I believe we all have different reasons as to why we sabotage our weight loss efforts. Being successful brings a whole new “Spotlight” on us and that scares the hell out of us. With success brings responsibility, commitment, and life change. Who wants to take all of that on, I know I didn’t. Or we are afraid of the new found attention we are going to receive; attention from the opposite sex, our boss will have higher expectations from us, our friends and family want more from us.

We can make excuses all day long as to why we do what we do, bottom line is you signed up for a “Life Changing” surgery. Are you going to continue to make excuses or are you going to embrace the life you signed up for and commit to the change?

If you want to continue to make excuses then I’m sure you have heard the old saying “If you continue to do what you have always done, expect to receive the same results”. Nothing is going to change until you are ready to change.

If you have agreed to commit to change then there are some things you can start doing today to help ensure you achieve success like never before.

1. Pre-Surgery- Remember back to your pre-surgery week, you were ready to take on the world. Bring that sense of excitement back into your life and watch yourself soar.

2. Remove unrealistic goals- Dr. Vuong says it best “Don’t commit to run the Boston Marathon if you don’t even own a pair of running shoes” You don’t have to take on the world in a day. Set realistic goals for yourself, write those goals down and follow through.

3. The Buddy System- Let others help you; you don’t have to take this journey alone. We need to be accountable to someone, find someone who is taking the same journey you are. Commit your goals to them and allow them to do the same. When we have others accountable to us, it’s so much easier to be accountable to ourselves.

4. Food- Create a food diary and keep track what you are eating. Dr. Terry Simpson has a great tip: Using your cell phone take pictures of everything you eat throughout the day, take a picture of your meal before you eat it then another after your done. This will give you clarity as to what you are really consuming throughout the day.

5. Exercise- If you have not already committed to an exercise program, and then you are not going to achieve the results you want from your “WLS” journey. Find something you love and yes I mean love. If you choose an exercise program you dread, guess what is going to happen, you are going to make excuses as to why you can’t do it. By finding something you love you will be excited to do it.

6. Self Care- We always want to take care of everyone else first, we always put ourselves on the back burner. Honestly would you treat your children, friends and family the way you treat yourself? I’m guessing no. We want to give our best to our children, friends and family. But guess what by placing ourselves on the back burner we are not giving them our best. Take some time to enjoy the things you like to do. Go to the movies with your girlfriends, go play a round of golf, reconnect with an old hobby, just find something that gives back to you.

7. Purge the negative- If you have something or someone who is bringing negative energy into your life; purge it. We have so much going on in our lives we don’t need any negative outsiders bringing us down. Negativity just drains you and sucks up your energy, make a decision it’s going to stop.

8. Celebrate the positive- Look at all you have accomplished to date. You have made changes, you’ve lost weight, went down a size or two or three. Remember how good you felt when you accomplished small milestones; think how good you are going to feel when you accomplish big milestones.

9. Follow up- If it has been a while since you have seen your surgeon, make an appointment. Don’t give me the excuse he/she is going to yell at you because you have gained weight. Go in with the mind set you are coming clean and you are ready to commit to the process. Your surgeon works for you, you are paying them to “Care” for you so go get the care you need.

10. Coaching- If you still think this overwhelming contact me to set up a complimentary coaching session. I know it can be overwhelming; but with a game plan in place you can turn this around. I can help you find out what is blocking you from the success you need and deserve.

Edited February 12, 200917 yr by CoachCher

CoachCher

I too was sexually abused as a child and as an young adult related sex to love. I used food to block out what was around me. i have always had a problem with my weight my whole family has. i hate how i look and how i feel but what makes it worse is my husband hates the way i look. He tries to support me but when i give in and cheat he tells me he gives up that i am never going to change. Now i have the added judgement of my family in-laws, because my sister in-law had the surgery and has lost 60lbs in 6 months yet i have had the band for almost 2 years and have not lost that much. so every sunday when we have family dinners they look at me and compare us, which makes me feel like eating more. i need help to get on track and i just don't know where to start. please help. thanks change4life.

this is so me. i was so close to goal and have just totally ruined that. and continue to do so each day. i have even had a consult w/ the ps for a tummy tuck. thats is what i have wanted more then anything for as long as i can remember. now that i am thisclose....i am gaining. i am eating crap. i know i shouldnt. if i exercise i just excuse my overeating as being ok because i am working out. hello me!!!!???? exercise doesnt matter when you just eat it all back plus some. any suggestions would be great. thank you.

Coach Cher--

I see that this thread "ends" in April. I am new to all this and don't understand how or what 'threads' really are. But I do know that this is a very frightening subject for me. I decided to have the lap band 2 years ago. At the time insurance wouldn't cover it. But a year later I developed sleep apnea so I had 2 co-morbidities and I qualified. I had to do 6 mos. of failed diets, behavior mod, exercise, etc. I have actually done this for a year and I am scheduled to have my surgery next week. What I realized, which I swore was not the case, is that I secretly have thought that this is my magic bullet. About a month ago I started slipping. It was my birthday, then my husband's, then Halloween and I kept telling myself it was ok that I gained 2 pounds because I would be having the surgery soon and then I could lose it due to the surgery. I'm still doing the exercise and counseling etc. Then I started on the liquid diet as my surgeon has his patients do this for 2 weeks before and after the surgery. I have not been able to do the liquid diet. I've been so hungry. I was told I could add 2 glasses of milk per day in addition to the protein shakes. But even that has not helped. I am still very hungry and so I am sneaking food--saltines, handfuls of cereal, etc. This is such old behaviour and I feel guilty. Also, I seem to be detached about the surgery. I haven't really thought about how I will need to change my behavior like no fluids with meals. I just figured I would continue to do what I have been doing in the past year which has been to increase the exercise and to SLOWLY change my lifestyle habits around food. Now I am feeling really scared, like maybe I'm not ready for this surgery, like maybe I shouldn't be having the surgery etc. Any comments, suggestions? Should I check back to this thread to look for a response? I'm not even sure I know how I got here in the first place!!

Helen AKA Ms B

I too am a sabatoger. I was doing so good and I am down 2 clothing sizes. I have finally gotten noticed for losing weight, by everyone :scared2:. I am not used to the attention, kinda weird and hard to accept. Plus my dad asking me every week "how much have you lost this week" makes me feel I have to live up to a loss to impress. Which has not been happening. For the last month I have been hovering at around the same weight. I gained 5 pounds from my lowest weight. Plus only my dad, mom, husband and two kids know about my surgery and are sworn to not tell a soul.

Well my sister-in-law has noticed my weight loss and when I eat something she is the food police, which I know she thinks she is helping me but at the same time it annoys me and makes me want to eat more.

Then there are the boobs, have always been huge, and I have always hated them. Now they are like a flat tire and hang low. When wearing my bra you would think they are normal. I have to pick them up and stick them into my bra, it is so sad.

I am glad to have found this post. I see I am not alone in my struggle.

We can all do this we just need to overcome our fears and quirks.

I drink to close to and to soon after meals.

Today I hid my drink out of site at my desk until it had been an hour from Breakfast. That really helped. I am going to try to do this from now on.

Thank you for the post.

Hi dean123, just to let you know I too am glad I found this site. I only have one friend and she a co-worker who is eating more healthier and trying to maintain her weight loss. Although she had the bi-pass they too struggle to keep the weight off.

I have and am where you are now. As far as the boobs, the most you can do right now is get a good support bra. Even if you need to pay more for it, it's worth it. I have a few from Intimacy, if you have a store in your area.

When it come to people policing my meals,I just tell them I'm now maintaining the weight. And I'm trying to find out what food is best to eat to do this. This holds them off.

Although I'm 3yrs next month out from surgery I still struggle with these last few pounds. Before the holidays I was 6 pounds from my goals. A little over confident and food, I gained a total of 19lbs. So as I write this I am 20lbs struggling.

But the most I can tell you, "We did not put all this weight on in a few days, weeks, and months". So it will take a long and stead minded journey to get off. And if you think getting it off is hard, weight till you begin to maintain.

As you lose weight get rid of the clothes you can no longer wear. When I had to wear a belt, then take in the pants, then and loss more weight, it was time to get rid of them.

A thrift shop will thank you and the women who can wear them.

As for hiding your drink, there will be more things you will being to try to break a habit. Just keep doing whatever it is and after a while you won't notice that you're doing it.

Keep coming back. We will all give you ideas what worked for us. Try them, add to them, change them but something will work.

It's in all of us to.

And most of all "the band is only tool" a tool only helps you in the job you need done. Remember that always.