What has anyone said to you that they meant in the best way possible, but it actually hurt in the long run. An example of what is always told to me is "you are sooo pretty to be your size."

Another thing a skinny girl once told me, not realizing my weight and state of depression, was that she would kill herself if she ever weighed 200lbs, then asked me "wouldn't you?" And I was thinking, I'm still alive you scrawny b****. I can laugh now, but it kept me depressed for years, oh Lord I have some stories of the goofy things people say to me, not realizing my position.

Well my sister is thin and always has been (partially because she is my 1/2 sis) and everytime I drop her name as my sis someone always has to mention the fact in the line "damn why don't you look like your sister?" I hate that

My whole life i have recieved back handed compliments about my looks and weight. The one i hear the most is you have such a pretty face.

Yeah, I've always gotten the "pretty face" one a lot too. I finally started responding with, "So then I guess if I were ugly it'd be okay for me to be fat?"

But how about when you LOSE weight and people go on and on about how AWFUL you looked before you lost? After the last time I yo-yoed I thought of getting a T-shirt imprinted, "Don't forget I'll remember everything you said when I gain it all back."

(Fingers crossed that with the band this time I WON'T!)

why you wanna know tina?you writing the article?lol jk-It was outside Mobile.

My family's crazy!! LOL!!

LOL - that is hilarious! Maybe you can share with them my reason for this...

I figure that God gave us these "people" as family because He knew that we would not choose them as friends! LOL

So.... we get to love them and their faults and hope that they keep a lovin' us back

Oh had never heard that one

'god gave us family because he knew we would never pick them as friends"

I'll have to remember next when some family member gets under my skin!

Melissa

I had to go to my doctor one day and could not get in to see her soo they sent me into this new doctor I was telling him about what was going on with me! And he stoped and looked at me and told me that I, was fat...........The funny thing was he is about 5 10 about 200lb it looked like he was carrying a spare tire. I am a person who is really weight caution it hit me so hard.I should of kept my mouth shut but it flew open I looked at him and said your fat Too!

when I walk out the whole office staff was laughing because he is rude to every one and I am not proud but I guess I was the first one ever to say some thing!

I saw him a few weeks ago and he did not even know who I was!

due to my weight los/he has lossed weight Too!

well every one take care God bless! hope your weight loss goals are coming true.

Ps I know deep down I should of kept my mouth closed two rights dont make a wrong.

This is not a weight related swipe I encountered last nite but it might as

well have been. My DH, DS, and I were eating dinner in a local restaurant

when a co-worker (I will call him Chris) of my husband's came over to say hello. I had never met

this guy before (DH just started working with him). DH mentions that Chris

is a volunteer fire fighter at the same station we used to volunteer

at back in the mid 90's (at least one occupation where being a big girl was

a plus!). I had been in the first basic firefighter class offered by the county back in 1995. My DH had told Chris

about me having the highest score, blah, blah, blah, in a previous conversation.

When introducing me last nite, DH says this is my wife Rhonda, she's the one

I was telling you about that had the high score.

Chris says to me in all seriousness "Well, I guess they had to make the test harder after that". My jaw just dropped. Needless to say, I had very little

to say to this person after that. (Where is Delarla when you need a good comeback??) I have encountered male chauvinism in the fire dept obviously

(especially since I live in a small southern town) but it usually doesn't show it's self in the first sentence someone says to you.

He couldn't have shocked me more if he had slapped me. I guess emotionally

he did.

Some people either have no tact or no clue. Maybe both in his case.

Rhonda

I get "pretty face" all the time, as well as, "you carry your weight well" but I just accept them as complements and not worry about back-handed things.

Heh, although I do have a friend who was talking about a woman she knows who "is like, really fat. She's like a size 20." I just looked at her sort of sideways and said "oh really, a size 20. Huh, imagine that." I was a size 24...

I think people are clueless but mostly well meaning.

I am a nurse, and I worked on an adolescent unit. I admitted a girl who was just diagnosed with cancer at the age of 14 - she was sporty and athletic - and totally a teenager - everything she thought came out of her mouth (I was skinny at the time - so this isn't about me).

She was asking me over and over if she would lose her hair with the chemo - and unfortunately she would. She stressed day after day. She always said she'd rather been dead than bald.

Then, over the weekend she lost it. I came in on Monday , she had a scarf over her shiny new head and she was hanging out with a couple boys - they looked like they were ready to do something silly and naughty (they were the kind that had wheelchair races down the hill at the hospital).

I stood there for a few minutes just chewing the fat with this young group, when she says 'I'd rather be dead than bald'. I looked up at her (bald as ever), and said - "really - you know you're bald". It was as if it hadn't hit her yet - for so long she thought her life would be OVER if she was bald. But it wasn't over, and she didn't want to be dead.

It was just funny - and it reminded me of the things others say, that they don't realize they are saying, or wouldn't say, if they were standing in someone elses shoes.

I love the cataract story - about not fixing the other one - that was great.

I do some consulting work in the horseracing industry, and was working at at race track one day in a booth training some people. I was talking to a co worker, and I hear "Hey, fat girl! Fat girl!" I turn, and it's this older guy in a wheel chair (who had at least 30 lbs on me anyway) and he says "You wanna know why fat girls always hang out with skinny chicks? It's because they know they'll have something left over when the skinny girl is done!" I didn't even know what to say. I couldn't say any of the things racing through my head, because while I wasn't a track employee, I was a representative for another company, so he was by proxy my 'customer'. I suddenly had a very important phone call I had to make and walked away.

I came back a little later when he was gone, and the folks there said the guy was around all the time, and he was always that obnoxious. If it hadn't been a customer situation I might have told him where to shove it.

Oh yes! How stupid are the things that thin people say to overweight people. Hellooooooo don't they think that we KNOW that we're overweight?? I was at the nail spa, recently, having a manicure and pedicure. The technician barely spoke any English, but managed to indicate her disapproval of my large calves and suggest that I needed to exercise because being overweight is not good. When I didn't respond, she said, "Oh sorry." Then proceeded to grill me about my marital status, finding it difficult to believe that I am unmarried. "You no like man??" I will not use her again!

I've also gotten the "you have such a pretty face" I'm like what about the rest of me!! "you'd be so pretty if you'd lose weight" what I'm ugly now?!!!! Last year I was at work and a coworker was talking to me and outta nowhere she said "have you ever thought about becoming a model?" I was like lauging like yeah right, and she said "I mean for large people" I had to laugh because others were around, but I was so embarassed!

two years ago on Christmas eve we went to the grocery store to pick up some last minute items for the holidays. I was standing off to the side near the front door (completley out of the way) waiting for my husband. This guy out of no where runs into me with his shopping cart and yells "get out of the way fat ass!". I was shocked and the only comeback I had was "merry christmas to you too!" I was so embarrased. Anyway I didn't tell my husband until we were in the car because I knew he would have hit the guy and I didn't want to deal with that on Christmas eve.

It's amazing to me how people treat other people so badly. I can't even imagine being so full of yuckiness that I feel the need to treat others so badly.

lol@alatina. not writing an article..just was curious because we share the same name and i too had lived in alabama.

Working in a grocery store doing the books and cashiering part time has opened my life up to many oppertunities to be belittled. We have a "regular" who is a rather large woman herself. She is constantly grilling me about being over weight. She is so obese that she can no longer carry her own weight around long enough to do her grocery shopping. she had the nerve to ask me if my employer discriminates against me because I am such a big fat girl? or if i had problems finding a uniform to wear cause i have such a fat ass? I nearly jumped over my register to giver her a free sample of a knuckle sandwich. However, to her advantage my boss was standing there. She proceded to tell me to not allow the african american bagger to touch her groceries as she didnt want a dirty (N word inserted here) touching her things.

At that my boss told her to leave our store and never come back. odd how being rude to me was not a big deal to my boss but being a racist was. huuuuumm and people wonder why i am not telling him what kind of surgery I am having.

and KARE>>>our new T shirts should read...

Don't forget..I will remember what you said when I was fat!!

I do some consulting work in the horseracing industry, and was working at at race track one day in a booth training some people. I was talking to a co worker, and I hear "Hey, fat girl! Fat girl!" I turn, and it's this older guy in a wheel chair (who had at least 30 lbs on me anyway) and he says "You wanna know why fat girls always hang out with skinny chicks? It's because they know they'll have something left over when the skinny girl is done!" I didn't even know what to say. I couldn't say any of the things racing through my head, because while I wasn't a track employee, I was a representative for another company, so he was by proxy my 'customer'. I suddenly had a very important phone call I had to make and walked away.

Sarah! :eek

goodness... I probably wouldve started crying right there!

He obviously was full of his own pain, so he had to "share" it with others.

God bless him.