As you guys can probably guess from the thread title, I'm having trouble finding a way to tell my friends I'm getting the surgery. I only have one other overweight friend and she's actually talked to me about wanting the surgery herself, but me telling her I'm getting it is a whole different ball game. Anyway, my point is that most of my friends are skinny and honestly, it seems a little strange telling them about me getting banded.

So do I tell them or not? I mean eventually, they'll notice my new eating habits. And if I do tell them, when? Before, or after the surgery?

It's just really difficult because none of my friends are really alike. Like I said, one is overweight so she understands up to a point, another is skinny, but she gets super angry if anyone mentions my weight and the other two ignore it and probably think I think I'm fine with the way I am.

So who do I tell? Everyone? One person? No one?

What did you guys do?

Im 24 but I was banded at 18.. You should feel comfortable about telling ANYONE about your band if you are severly over weight its saving your life you have nothing to be ashamed of. All my friends are skinny and my husband is super skinny he is 6'3 and weighs 160 if they are your real friends they will love and support you always and believe me the band aint always a cake walk it helps to have a support system.. Talk to them about it all that changes is your eating habits and soon you might b able to shop with them my friends even decided they too could use some exercise and we support each other in that aspect never be ashamed of saving your life if you are on a healthier path then you took a step in the right direction let people know about it it may someday save thier life to!

I opted not to tell anyone. Well, I told my dad and 1 friend, but I waited until 2 weeks before surgery to tell them. I'm not telling my 'eating buddies' and I will just deal with it when they see me eating less.

I will say thats the one thing thats strange.. Eating with normal people lol ... I was litetally disgusted at how people eat after I got my band

I wouldn't tell your friends. Unless you know your friends are going to be understanding and supportive. I told my parents, my brothers, and two close family friends. That's it. Everyone else can just watch my weight come off from "diet and excersise" which is EXACTLY what you're doing, just with a little tool to help. Who needs to know that?!

Just remember...you can't UNTELL people. I've learned over the years to restrain the impulse to say or do something that can't be undone.

Give it a lot of thought - the pros and the cons, so to speak - before you say anything.

Tell your friends! They won't understand at first, but they will come around. I told my friends and at first they were quiet and didn't know what to say to me, so they changed the subject to sports. (my friends are both guys and I have known one f then for 13years and the other 6years) I knew they were curious about it, so after the sports conversation died down I told them if you have questions you can ask me an font hold back I will answer any question you throw at me. MAN did they have a LOT of questions! The best one was: "umm what is lap band?!" I just assumed they knew what surgery I had! I am only 3 days out of surgery and it was such a relief to know that my best friends knew. I answered every question they had and now it's like nothing has changed they still tease me about things like they did before and it's great! I hope everything goes well if you do tell your friends!

I only told friends that I knew would support me no matter what.Just like they can trust me with their secrets.

I just recently told everybody. If you're really successful, people will wonder how you lost all the weight. It's better for them to know you had a tool like the lap band rather than rumors about eating disorders or diseases. People can be really weird. Haha

Everybody is different and has different levels of privacy-needs. I live my life fairly publicly (I've had a blog for 10+ years and also do a good amount of writing which appears all over the web) so obviously I'm not the most private person. I've even agreed to meet with a documentary production company who may follow my journey, and I'm fine with that level of public disclosure.

For my upcoming band, everybody knows except for my office colleague. The only reason I won't tell her is that she talks incessantly and I don't want my band to become another reason for her to prevent me from doing my work.

I don't fear that she will notice my weight loss and wonder about it because she is very self-centered and never notices anything but her own world!

Remember the old shampoo commercial about they told two friends, and so on and so on...

Tell who you want to know, but don't expect them all to get it! If you have a support person in the family, you might start just there. It really is only your business. Sort of like who would tell if you had breast enhancement. Play it by ear. only my immediate family knows, plus two lifelong friends. I have no plans to tell others.

Chez is right, not everyone will get it. I only told 3 of my friends (wished I only told 2), because that 3rd one has been litterally getting on my last nerve with all her Facebook rants about dieting, overweight woman, and fat cartoon characters. Btw, she is overweight too. Her last comment made me really pissed off. She got very sick and because of that she lost 16 lbs. So she bragged about how she lost the weight and said "at least I didn't have to do anything to lose it".. How caddy

PattyGirl, I think that girl would get unfriended or at least hidden from my newsfeed if she were my fb friend! Lol, there's always someone annoying on fb.

I didn't tell too many people before I got the band. I made my decision and didn't want naysayers. My husband, mom, and one sister knew about it at first. Post-surgery, I told some other friends. I have regretted telling anyone but my husband though because I feel like I'm always being monitored and they make comments about people who have weight loss surgery failing, etc. I just have to try to educate them that the band is a tool and it won't work unless I use it correctly. I haven't lost weight like I should have due to my own choices.

I'm pretty good support system-wise. Literally five people in my family have gotten the same exact surgery (including my mother) so I can probably go to one of them for help. It's just that I'm horrible with keeping secrets and how do you hide eating habits when your two closest friends love to eat?

It's just frustrating because I KNOW my two closest friends won't understand. Not because they're skinny, but because I've never mentioned a thing about my weight loss or weight gain to them. Yet at the same time, they're probably the ones that deserve to know.

I can tell I'm getting nowhere with this.

Thanks for all the suggestions though.

Your friends who love to eat cannot support your new eating practices if they don't know. True friends will support you doing something you believe in so strongly and which is for the purpose of improving your health.

Give them the chance to show their support and understanding.

Please note: that is said with the benefit of hindsight. Pre-surgery I only told family. Post surgery I told my best friend because I wanted/needed her support, plus we were going on a working road trip together. She has been 100% supportive.