I thought it might be FUN to ask you all what the rudest comment you have had is and how you responded!

I'll get it started: Last weekend, I went for my hair appointment. I had not been for 9 or 10 weeks. When she saw me, she said, "You've lost a lot of weight...did you have gastric bypass?" I couldn't believe she would ask such a personal question...people sure are bold! I simply replied, "Nope, I didn't." And that was the truth! :redface:

I've been looking at all of the comments, in this thread, and I keep thinking "What the hell!!!!"

Why is it ok to make fun of and be so rude to someone who is overweight? It's not acceptable to make fun of someone's race, gender or sexual orientation, but it's a free for all when it comes to weight. I get so sick of this!!!! A lot of this could be stopped if people started at home and taught their children to be less judgemental. Neither of my children is overweight, but they have been taught to never make fun or make a rude comment about someone else's weight.....or about anything else!! I've always taught them that making fun of others is mean and hateful.

Hi ...

I totally agree with you!!! I have 2 kids and my oldest was overweight until just last year but I've always stressed to my kids that it is not nice to make fun of anyone for ANY reason and that you should treat others the way that you want to be treated. My son is still young (6) but he understands very well and my daughter is very sensitive about it having been about 30 lbs overweight until she had a medical issue last year and lost the weight.

I have been reading these posts as well and have a few of my own:

1. My mother was always making nasty comments to me (the pot calling the kettle black! She's just as big as me) but distinctly I remember school shopping with her when I was 16 and she kept telling me how she'd never seen a bigger @ss on a person...... I was only a whopping size 14 then. Needless to say my mother and I have never had a warm and fuzzy relationship and we don't actually speak anymore.

2. When I was in high school there was this popular kid that used to run near me during gym class and make elephant/hippo sounds while I ran laps. I hated gym class, they made you wear those shorts that were SO short UGH! That was really hurtful and I've never ever forgotten it.

Thanks for this post, it is very therapeutic.

Faith

I've had comments here and there all my life, but I've also mostly been another "fit fat person", so because of my muscle density I've always looked lighter than I weighed, if that makes sense... Well, that was the case pre-pregnancy and before I had to give up my sport!!!

The absolute worst comment, though, has come repeatedly from one person.... my beautiful little daughter. She's only 3 years old, and she doesn't have the concept of "fat" being a bad thing, but she points out that I have a big tummy (which she pats and kisses and cuddle and tells me she loves), and the one that broke my heart was when she said "When I'm a grown up, I'm going to have a great big tummy like you, Mummy!" ---- Oh if there was ONE thing I could wish for her future it was to not have to battle her own body and health issues the way I have had to!

Here's the thing: you have a cute face but you're chubby.

OMFG! The things I'm reading hear. I bet if these people had the **** smacked out of them whenever they made such rude comments, they'd cease.

I too haven't been overweight all my life, just began packing on an extra 20 lbs every year for the past 10 years. Before that I weighed no more than 160 lbs full term pregnant. I have 4 children and was always able to drop the pregnancy weight fast, so I couldn't blame having children as the cause. I have heard so many blatantly mean comments, I could write a book, but the most recent were from my mother (who just recently dropped 30 lbs). She Was overweight for years and so much in denial she'd cut the tags out of her clothing. She and I were the same size up until a year or 2 ago. My husband and I treated her to a trip to Aruba with us, and while there I took her parasailing for the 1st time in her life. While I was climbing on the boat to take us out to the middle of the ocean, she says, "damn big draws!!" The couple behind me chuckled, and in attempt to rush getting on without care because I didn't want to be embarrassed further, I cut my leg and 2 toes on the bost's rough surface. It hurt awful and even bled, but not as much as I did inside. She also said on the plane ride out loud, "damn!! You need 2 seats". When I told her later her comment was hurtful, she dismissed my feelings saying I was too sensitive.

But the worst comment I ever got wad from my father in law who said, "no man wants to have to have to fight to get to *****.". He really said that. Not only was it disrespectful, but. It was rude and crass. He said it in front of my husband and one of my husband's friends who both got a real kick out of it laughing. Since my husband (his son) allowed him to disrespect me and did not come to my defense I said, "no woman wants to have to fight to get to penis." (I mimicked lifting up a huge belly, which my obese husband has had for 15 years now). We managed to have a baby a year later so obviously he didn't have a problem getting to it after all.

Maybe writing this down will make it stop burning in my memory. I stopped to buy dinner for my family at a pizza place near our house and after I paid for it and started to leave the counter guy started making snorting noises like a pig!! Instead of decking the guy and demanding my money back, I drove home in tears and then called to complain. To add insult to injury, first the manager claimed that something like that would never happen in his restaurant and then he said that he knew the guy I was talking about and he was a really nice guy (and his definition of a d8888bag would be what?), so I just told that neither I nor anyone from my extended family (about 50) would ever eat there again and happy loss of customers.

Not sure if I feel better, but will see.

Robbie

Maybe writing this down will make it stop burning in my memory. I stopped to buy dinner for my family at a pizza place near our house and after I paid for it and started to leave the counter guy started making snorting noises like a pig!! Instead of decking the guy and demanding my money back, I drove home in tears and then called to complain. To add insult to injury, first the manager claimed that something like that would never happen in his restaurant and then he said that he knew the guy I was talking about and he was a really nice guy (and his definition of a d8888bag would be what?), so I just told that neither I nor anyone from my extended family (about 50) would ever eat there again and happy loss of customers.

Not sure if I feel better, but will see.

Robbie

OMG!!!! That has got to be the worst thing I have ever heard. That cashier would have gotten an earful from me immediately!!! I would have gotten my money back and asked to speak to the manager right then.

That is ridiculous!!

I have two!

About a year ago right before my wedding I did a crash diet and lost about 15 pounds. I went to my cousin after the wedding to get my hair trimmed when i walked in the shop she didnt speak to me. i had to go over and ask her to cut my hair she said "oh i didnt recongnize you you must have quit your diet! " WHAT!!! I was almost so mad I could have punched her!

About 3 days ago I went to Dentist office. They made a mistake with insurance and wanted 138$ upfront. I told them I dont have that kid of money with me and a guy sitting down beside the counter said "looks like you have money for food"

WOW!!! after losing 65 pounds that was REALLLLY HURTFUL because I JUST started feeling good about myself

!

my grandfather once told me 'You used to be so thin. Now look at you! Who knew skin could stretch so far'

.

My heart goes out to each and every one of you. I've been overweight my entire life. I was made fun of a whole lot during my childhood. The comments, for the most part, ended during my sophomore year in high school. I can't I've been insulted much in my adult years, thankfully. And if I have, I've blocked it out.

I can just remember my family telling me that, "You have such a pretty face. If only you would lose weight."

Edited to add: I just remembered something. A couple years ago, I co-worker from another department saw me and asked me if I were pregnant. Uh, nope. Just fat! And that's exactly what I told her.

- My mom is generally very supportive and loving, however I can remember certain instances of her being ashamed of my weight when I was a child. For example, once she told me not to eat too much at a social gathering because she didn't want our relatives to be talking about it.

- Being ridiculed when we were supposed to run miles during PE in middle school

- In high school having someone ask me out as a joke on April 1

- Being excluded from many social events during high school, even if people didn't make blatant comments to my face

- Feeling like people assume I am lazy or less intelligent due to my weight. I can't stand judgmental people who have no idea how difficult it can be for people with certain genetic susceptibilities to regulate their calorie intake.

- Said by a physician about his patient: "she will likely start stretching that pouch out as soon as we take her off of general anesthesia"

just the other day I was talking to a co-worker who was written up for her bad behavior, well come to find out I was on her write up list, some other co-workers heard her talking about me and said I looked like a miss piggy and they reported her to HR! I thought she was a friend! That really hurt my feelings.

The rudest thing someone said to me in reguards to my decision to have a lap band was actually a conversation between my mom and my Aunt. About ten years prior my aunt's husband who must have easily been around 400 pounds when considering his surgery had a lap band placed. He lost almost 100 pounds on the band within around a years time. Over the last decade he stretched out his pouch, and now is heavier then he was before surgery.

My aunt told my mom to talk me out of having surgery, and that the lap and is a waste of time that t did not work for my ucnle and that it would not work for me.

I have not said anything to my Aunt on this conversation that she had with my mom, I figure I'll just waltz by her some day in a pervect size ten, and that will be the end of it.

The lap band does not work for everyone, you have to really work at it to loose it and to keep it off, or so i've been told I've not yet hit matnience phase.

What angers me is I went into surgery being ware of my uncle's failure and knowing full well that he was psychologically not ready, and yet he had it done anyway. that failure is on nhim and no one else. We have made a concious decision to have lapband surgery and their will be good days and bad just with any nutrtional diet plan their are peaks and valleys. I just don't understand how someone can ignore the warnings of fullness, and the more serious warning that you have eaten to much and resulted in vommiting.

This surgery I did ultimately to give my body a chance to fight off the pcos that I ahve and also to give myself a better shot at living instead of the fat that was slowly killing me.

The decision to have surgery is something between you, and your MD, if you have some that are in your corner that are friends and family that are suportive, grab on to that support, but if they are "band bashing" then ignore them, and do your best to work out eat right and in a year or so saunter past them as your new and improved self, that should speak volumes.

Too many to even state them all, but one that happened a few years back was from my boyfriend at the time. His mom actually suffered from anorexia (sp?) his whole life. Okay, so I was the thinnest I'd been in years 5'8 about 170 and thought I looked pretty good. He said, "I thought girls with thick ankles weren't supposed to wear heels." I replied rather quickly, "I thought short bald guys weren't supposed to have girlfriends as hot as me." He tried to explain that that's what his mom had taught him. Needless to say, our relationship didn't last much longer.

Some of my mom's comments stick out the most to me right now.

When I was 3 mos pregnant' date=' and had a 17 month old, my husband left me for another woman. When I called my mom to tell her that my world was falling apart, she said, "Well, what did you expect him to do with you being so big?". My family actually felt sorry for him for having to live with someone as fat as me.

My mom called me to bring something to her work. She said to call her when I got there so she could come out to the parking lot to get it. She said for me not to come in to work because she did not want the people there to know she had a fat daughter.

5 years after my divorce I started dating some one from work. When my mom found out she said, "Anybody that would have anything to do with you can't be worth much".[/quote']

Gina that is the saddest thing I've heard in a long time! I'm sooooo sorry your mom is that way. It's her own insecurities, but that doesn't make it easier. What craziness. I'm sorry. If you ever need support... I'm an email away!!!