Insecurity + binge eating = fighting non-stop with DH

I'm SO tired of this crap!! Anyone else lashing out at their hubby like I am?? Poor guy I'm surprised he comes home from work....

*sigh*

At least I finally had my last appointment with my nutritionist. I'm hoping that approval will be coming soon. I have to do something before I go insane...lol.

*hug* Been there, It was even worse when i went through bandester hell before my first few fills till I got restriction because then I had a tool in me that just wasn't usable yet every damn body kept asking how much weight had I lost 2 wks after surgery. I was like WTF- and took it out on my fiance like mad..hang in there!

I, too, got quite impatient. It took over 7 months to get through all the appointments and requirements. Let's see, first the seminar, support group, nutritionist, 4-6 visits with the psychologist, insurance approval, preop sessions, EKG and blood work, surgeon visit and, finally the surgery date. Meanwhile, there were books I was to read, food charts that I had to complete, etc. It all got consuming like I was going nowhere fast. By the time I met the surgeon I was more than ready for the surgery. It was so frustrating!

The process of being banded is an emotional roller coaster. We've all been there. Luckily one of my hubby's friends at work had had it done and she told him I might be "crazy" for a while! He just kept his head down and tried not to look at me! Ha! All kidding aside, it'll get better. The worst time for me was the pre-op diet. My emotions were all over the place. Hang in there. You guys will get through this and you will be so glad you did it!! Good luck!

Yeah, I find myself snapping at people and getting emotional while waiting for this 6 month diet for insurance to be over. It's overwhelming but we are going through huge changes so it's to be expected.

I know how you feel. My husband isn't exactly supportive either, and that makes it worse. I had surgery 3 weeks ago and last night my husband actually had the nerve to say that I could have done it on my own without the band, that it's all about will power! I am SO mad. I was very surprised to hear him say that. He has seen how many times I tried to do it own my own and failed. I wouldn't have chosen to have major surgery if I could have done it on my own.

I'd slap him LOL

I'm glad I'm not the only one with these issues. It's amazing how insecurity with our bodies effects every single aspect of our life.

I hope to hear Monday about my psych appointment...that's the final hurdle before submitting to Aetna for approval. My BMI is over 50 and I have 2 co-morbities (I prolly spelled that wrong). I don't think I'll have a problem getting approved....

I just want my damn surgery so I can start living again.

People don't realize how much stress being obese causes. The emotional aspect is really tough to deal with.

I'm dedicated to this, and I will make my band work for me....I'm so ready to start my journey. :frown:

Good luck. I'm sure you won't have any trouble getting approved.

Luckily my dh is supportive of the banding, but he can be pretty insensitive sometimes. He doesn't understand my relationship with food and the emotional aspect of it.

Luckily my dh is supportive of the banding, but he can be pretty insensitive sometimes. He doesn't understand my relationship with food and the emotional aspect of it.

Same here, my DH is very supportive of me having this procedure...and as sweet and kind as he is...he...will...never...understand...my...food...addiction. He can sympathize with it, but he wont ever understand it like another obese person would.

When we fight it's usually my rotten mood swings that cause it. I feel sorry for him, I can tell he's getting frustrated with all my insecurities (especially in the bedroom) but I think he's hoping for the best from this surgery just like I am. :biggrin:

Isn't it funny that we recognize we're being moody and insecure, yet we can't change it. I've really tried to work on this... when I am mad, I think "Okay, am I being upset legitimately?" When the answer is no, it's like I have too much pride to change. Sometimes I do apologize, but since I've already hurt him, I think he has a hard time just changing moods back to being happy.

Isn't it funny that we recognize we're being moody and insecure, yet we can't change it. I've really tried to work on this... when I am mad, I think "Okay, am I being upset legitimately?" When the answer is no, it's like I have too much pride to change. Sometimes I do apologize, but since I've already hurt him, I think he has a hard time just changing moods back to being happy.

Just like I can recognize when I'm eating from boredom/sadness/frustration, etc, but don't stop myself...

I'm the same way. We went to the beach on Friday - my dd, her friend and me. The wind was obnoxious and by the end of it, I was pissy, dirty and wind-blown. I snapped at the girls over something and they got all quiet. I stepped back, thought about and realized I was mad at the wind, not the kids. I mentally called myself and ass, and then apologized to the girls. But, sometimes we just see ourselves as some monster, and it just keeps going...and I think, "Did I just say that? That's really stupid..."

I had issue when I was on ortho-tricyclen b/c... I would get literally-crazy. Internally while I was screaming at DH I would go "What is your problem?! Do you hear yourself?! STOP!!" and I couldn't. I would go ballistic once a month, self-proclaimed PSYCHO BITCH. My doc swapped me to orth-tricyclen lo.. it made it stop altogether, so I blame my hormones!! But my next gyno, when I explained why I was on "lo" she said sugar is a part of it. This was pre-band days, but she said eating sugar causes emotional 'highs' with subsequent 'lows'. She compared it to a drug addict. I'm not saying she's wrong, so I think that's something to consider with your binge eating.. but then I went on Yaz and I eat sugar as I please with no more highs & lows.

Sounds like you're in a vicious cycle, Insecurity + binge eating = fighting non-stop with DH --- and also Fighting with DH= insecurity & binge eating!!

Just make sure you apologize sincerely to DH after you do something like that, I think it will at least help!! Explain that you can't help yourself and you're trying to fix it.

When we fight it's usually my rotten mood swings that cause it. I feel sorry for him, I can tell he's getting frustrated with all my insecurities (especially in the bedroom) but I think he's hoping for the best from this surgery just like I am. :frown:

Speaking of insecurities in the bedroom (since this is the powder room and we can say what we want) . . . my DH says that since banding our "special time" is so much better than ever before. I was really embarrassed because I was always soooo self conscious and I thought it was a reference to being overweight. I had always assumed that even though he has always told me I am beautiful, how can he be satisfied with me when he has the body of an athlete and I . . . well, um, don't.

He saw from my expression that I was embarrassed. He then went on to say that the reason it is infinitely better now has nothing to do with my size. He said that I was always hiding myself, covering as much as possible, lights out completely and had no confidence before . . . now I express myself.

When he said this to me, it really made light bulbs go off for me. My weight was not the issue even though I thought it was everything, my feelings and insecurities about the weight weighed me down physically and emotionally more than I ever could have imagined.

I guess I am still learning more every day through this journey . . . and I still have a ways to go :sad:

Speaking of insecurities in the bedroom (since this is the powder room and we can say what we want) . . . my DH says that since banding our "special time" is so much better than ever before. I was really embarrassed because I was always soooo self conscious and I thought it was a reference to being overweight. I had always assumed that even though he has always told me I am beautiful, how can he be satisfied with me when he has the body of an athlete and I . . . well, um, don't.

He saw from my expression that I was embarrassed. He then went on to say that the reason it is infinitely better now has nothing to do with my size. He said that I was always hiding myself, covering as much as possible, lights out completely and had no confidence before . . . now I express myself.

When he said this to me, it really made light bulbs go off for me. My weight was not the issue even though I thought it was everything, my feelings and insecurities about the weight weighed me down physically and emotionally more than I ever could have imagined.

I guess I am still learning more every day through this journey . . . and I still have a ways to go :smile2:

Girl - I was reading this and thought I could have wrote this. Wow! It was not about weight for him, but about how I treated sex. To be honest I didn't try to find pleasure in it because I couldn't get over thinking I'm fat and ugly. DH has always said how sexy I am, now he tells me I'm beautiful. I'm learning to love me again...