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Guest Leslie2Lose

Speaking of insecurities in the bedroom (since this is the powder room and we can say what we want) . . . my DH says that since banding our "special time" is so much better than ever before. I was really embarrassed because I was always soooo self conscious and I thought it was a reference to being overweight. I had always assumed that even though he has always told me I am beautiful, how can he be satisfied with me when he has the body of an athlete and I . . . well, um, don't.

He saw from my expression that I was embarrassed. He then went on to say that the reason it is infinitely better now has nothing to do with my size. He said that I was always hiding myself, covering as much as possible, lights out completely and had no confidence before . . . now I express myself.

When he said this to me, it really made light bulbs go off for me. My weight was not the issue even though I thought it was everything, my feelings and insecurities about the weight weighed me down physically and emotionally more than I ever could have imagined.

I guess I am still learning more every day through this journey . . . and I still have a ways to go :smile2:

Girl - I was reading this and thought I could have wrote this. Wow! It was not about weight for him, but about how I treated sex. To be honest I didn't try to find pleasure in it because I couldn't get over thinking I'm fat and ugly. DH has always said how sexy I am, now he tells me I'm beautiful. I'm learning to love me again...

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Girl - I was reading this and thought I could have wrote this. Wow! It was not about weight for him, but about how I treated sex. To be honest I didn't try to find pleasure in it because I couldn't get over thinking I'm fat and ugly. DH has always said how sexy I am, now he tells me I'm beautiful. I'm learning to love me again...

This is totally my issue...I am so uncomfortable having sex that the drive is completely gone. My DH is wonderful and never fails to tell me how great I am...it's my issue that's making me nutty.

It's amazing how hard we are on ourselves and how it can effect every aspect of our life.

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I did it alot at first when I first got banded, my DH thought I was nuts. Estrogen is stored in the fat and as you lose it, it is released into your body, thus making you a little on the hormonal side. It will get better, hang in there.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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