Hey girls,

I'm a little too embarrassed to ask this anywhere else and I don't even know if it's appropriate for the forums, but I need to know: When were you able to be "on top" during sex? My thighs have been too big ever since I've been with my fiance so I have no gauge of how much I'd need to lose before I can try again. I used to think I was the only one with some of these problems, but since I joined the forums, I realize many of my issues aren't just me! Any insight or other possible positions until the weight is gone would be appreciated.

I never had an issue being on top, even at my highest weight, I am 5'8" tall, so maybe that helped. That and strong legs......

I think it all has to do with what you are comfortable with. So girls are just to self con. to do that till they fill small enough. I thinkyou should go for it when you are ready

Told DH about the exercise ball thing which totally cranked him up so...:tt1:

Bought the exercise ball...:w00t:

However, it was a lot more exercise than pleasure...:thumbs_up:

Had to be doing it wrong...:thumbs_up:

MS. TRINA!!!

Any suggestions???

:huh2::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

U know what... I am a pro at finding new and exciting new positions...lol... even tho i am abstaning from any activity until i meet that right one...lol..hmmm anyhoo... get a excersise ball make sure it is filled properly have him to lay, or sit on the ball and then u get on top and u dont have the stress on your thighs and he will be like OH MY GOSH.... i would say try it and see how u like it but that might be too much info...lol... trust me the ball won't burst and u will be able to bounce also... lol....

LOL!! I've got one of those balls, I'm gonna try it out tonight!!!!! {so excited!!} :biggrin2: Thanks for the tips ladies!!!! BTW, I think your leg length might have a lot to do with it, I'm 5'2" and have short stubby legs. So it makes it hard {no pun intended,lol} to get a good straddle.

I have trouble being on top I think for me though its due to tightness in my outer thigh.. When on top that muscle is stretched so much I have very little room for movement. I will have to try the squatting though.

Funny thing last week I was wondering if an exercise ball would work...Now I'm dying to get one!!

This is such a trip!

On the exercise ball idea...I did a little looking around on ebay not too long ago and found this love pillow thing. It's this heavy plastic inflatible wedge that allows all sorts of interesting positions without the rolling of the ball. LOTS of fun!!!

I would also look into the Liberator ramps and wedges. I bought the set about a year ago and we love them. They also make them in plus size!!! They are kinda expensive, but are extremely high quality. They also helped us have sex sooner after my surgery. Lots of great new positions with them.

Ahem...well, many of you are talking about being able to be on top again. I am looking forward to just having sex again. Because of my weight and subsequent lack of self esteem I have not had sex with my husband going on on 2 years. Luckily, God blessed me with a totally loving and understanding husband. I assume he is taking care of business himself. I am sure that he would not care but I cant stand the thought of it at my weight. It affects my breathing to have all the weight pushed down on me (hubby isn't exactly a small guy) as I have breathing problems (COPD). Knees are shot so I can't do it doggy style. Can't get on top and fold my legs under me like I am sitting on the fronts of my legs because of all the swelling in my lower legs.

So you can see that I am really looking forward to having the surgery. I don't care what position it is as long as I get some!!!!!

It affects my breathing to have all the weight pushed down on me (hubby isn't exactly a small guy) as I have breathing problems (COPD). Knees are shot so I can't do it doggy style. Can't get on top and fold my legs under me like I am sitting on the fronts of my legs because of all the swelling in my lower legs.

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Try laying face down on your matress with you toes on the floor and your fanny waving in the air. Your hubby can take you from behind without the pressure on your knees. If your bed isn't tall enough lean over the kitchen table, he will love it! :thumbs_down:

I love this....we have our own Kama Sutra thread!!

I have also had some trouble with pressure on the port and I can pass along one bit of advice that has worked for us.

I experimented and found that I'm far more comfortable in the mornings as I have nothing in my stomach. Maybe because internally, it really takes a long time to heal, even though the band etc are safely in place. The nurse at my surgeon's told me 100% healing of all tissue can take up to 6 months.

So, try it empty (yes, I do to the bathroom first also). I still don't have him lie down fully- he's on my lower stomach but stays up on his arms so it's not full weight. I'm far more comfortable.

And once he's in, it's also good for the man to move back up and on his knees and the lady put her legs up, leaning them on his shoulders. If your back can take it, it's also very easy that way. I find that very easy for me.

I hope you guys are still checking this, because I have a question about the exercise ball...

Today I actually went to buy one, but I ran into a wall.

First, what size did you get? Like 55 cm, 65 cm, etc.

Then there is the question of physics...where/how does the guy lay/bend over it? When I was thinking about it today, I don't want it to be like my guy is straining his back or neck to be in such a strange position.

Can someone help with some details? :thumbup:

Oh this is a fun thread...I'm sure as heck gonna go home and try this tonight!:tongue2:

I would imagine putting his "important" parts over the ball, then lying back over the top of it so that his head is somewhat supported, but laying back. He'll be able to look behind him. He might not be able to look you in the eye unless he's got strong abs and can hold his head up, or you help him hold it up.

Ball sizes have to do with weight capacity, so check the manufacturer's website on that - different companies have different capacities. I know at the gym I go to, the white ball (the largest) is the one I use because I'm still 260 lbs.

My hubby is 310 - tall, broad shouldered, deep chest, bit of a belly. I love woman on top because he's so big I can't breathe if he lays on me for very long...we also love side-by-side (facing each other, more space between our heads than between our hips), and loving from behind (one of my personal favorites). I've never had a problem getting on top because my weight is primarily in my belly and breasts, not so much my legs. My legs have always been strong, and since I've been walking so much, they are even stronger.

Squats are the bomb for building leg strength - start with just one or two, do half-squats - put a chair beneath you, go down until your bottom touches the chair, then back up. That's probably the distance you'll have to travel to reach your lover, anyway...do a few more each week and you'll be surprised at how quickly your body will respond.

Because I am not a doctor, take this advice with a grain (okay, a pound) of salt...I can only report what worked for me...

Good luck to you all

Okay I am not getting the ball thing either. I don't want to have to search around to find the directions. I need some detailed instructions.

He lays on his back on the ball?

Weight is not an issue for us but I never like to be on top for very long.

Hey, I want instructions too! I already have the ball that has been rolling around my house for months. It can finally be put to some good use :-)

Edited September 18, 200817 yr by *slim*
fat fingered

Yea, I have the ball and I do sit ups on it occasionally. I had planned to be more consistent but we all know how that goes. Maybe we can find a better use for the ball?