Hey girls,

I'm a little too embarrassed to ask this anywhere else and I don't even know if it's appropriate for the forums, but I need to know: When were you able to be "on top" during sex? My thighs have been too big ever since I've been with my fiance so I have no gauge of how much I'd need to lose before I can try again. I used to think I was the only one with some of these problems, but since I joined the forums, I realize many of my issues aren't just me! Any insight or other possible positions until the weight is gone would be appreciated.

On top? Gee whats that? Haha! I was just banded so not sure when, but look at it this way, It will happen sooner or later, hopefully sooner! Good Luck!!!

Our first time pre-op I was on top, I had about 100 lbs less than you to lose tho, so the size of my thighs was never the issue. So, if that helps, I was banded at 392 lbs, for size reference I'm between 5'10 and 5'11, and I could be on top pre-op.

I am currently 325, pre-op and can still be on top, but not as comfortably as I used to. I think I was ok with being on top until about 265-275 range and after I gained more weight I had to...(how can I say this without being super graphic...) switch the way I sat on top so that my thighs did not get in the way so much. One good thing about my gain though is it forced us to try new things but I can't weight to lose and try even newer things...:biggrin:

It is all about the way your position your legs. If you find something that is comfortable for both of you, try it. You don't have to be in any specific position on top.:coolgleamA:

Gosh, I never thought about that and people having issues - how tall are you may I ask?

I'm 5'7 and have never had issues being on top even at my presurgery weight of 325lbs. Maybe you just need to experiment a bit to find a position comfortable for you.

Oops, I'm about 5'6. Maybe I'm just positioning wrong--I basically try to sit on my knees over him and it just doesn't work How do you all put your legs?

Hmmm the most comfortable position that I have found at my heaviest was to kind of basically straddle over him and shimmy to the position that you are most comfortable and if sitting straight up isnt comfortable, once you are "on" lean down over him and rest yourself on your hands that makes it almost like the missionary position with girl on top (if that makes sense).

OK, instead of having your knees facing downwards touching the bed/floor, try squating down onto the on top position, so your knees are bent foreward in an updside down L shape. Your knees will be bent in the way where they do not rest on anything. This way your weight is primarily on your bottom then your knees and your thighs do not get in the way.

Oops, I'm about 5'6. Maybe I'm just positioning wrong--I basically try to sit on my knees over him and it just doesn't work How do you all put your legs?

Instead of trying to be on top in a "traditional" way (which seems like it would strain your thigh muscles if you're having a hard time fitting), try more of a long angle, kind of like you're the guy. Also make sure he holds his legs together, that will give you less distance to cover, and if he can hold his knees up, like knees bent, that will give you something to push against. At my highest weight I did have some discomfort in a tradition (movie style) on-top position. My stomach interfered with being able to sit up completely, and he would fall out when I tried. I would still do it, but it's so much easier now.

Also, try sitting on top of him backwards, so he sees the back of your head. This makes for a lot less of his girth to get your legs over, and gives you some interesting options with how you can move. :blushing:

Edited April 30, 200818 yr by Wheetsin

Thanks guys, I have some homework tonight now! :smile2:

LOL!

I have never had problems being on top due to my thighs, but my back hurt really bad from being on top, I'd get out of breath, and it was not enjoyable. DH admits it's his favorite, so I give it to him as a treat (or did rather). Now I can be on top comfortably, WITH NO BACK ACHES!!.. But I'm still too lazy to do it regularly. Sometimes in normal positions, my legs can go over my head easily, yay, but it hurts my port sometimes.. so, I prefer doggie, I get no aches or pains and it feels best to me.

Odd. I didn't ever imagine myself posting something like this on here.

But, yes, when I put my legs over my head it hurts my port a little and I feel like I need to hold it in place.

I think all of you and what weight I have lost so far have given me the courage to try out the top again. Must admit, sex has been lazy. =)

I've never had any real problem being on top or any other positions.:thumbup: I like to read and watch adult things because I want to learn from the pros.:biggrin: The other reason is that when you are a big person people or guys think you are lazy. They mite feel that having sex w/a skinny girl is more enjoyable because of positions and endurance:thumbdown:. So for me, I really try a lot of different positions even when I can't last to long in one position:tt2:. It's like tricking him a little. Be playful and convertible w/ him sex is something very intimate even if it mite be a one night stand.

LOL!

I have never had problems being on top due to my thighs, but my back hurt really bad from being on top, I'd get out of breath, and it was not enjoyable. DH admits it's his favorite, so I give it to him as a treat (or did rather). Now I can be on top comfortably, WITH NO BACK ACHES!!.. But I'm still too lazy to do it regularly. Sometimes in normal positions, my legs can go over my head easily, yay, but it hurts my port sometimes.. so, I prefer doggie, I get no aches or pains and it feels best to me.

This is pretty much my sex-life story. I don't have a port to hurt yet, with my legs over his shoulders/my head, but I am just too easily exhausted to be on top for any length of time. if I have a heavy-duty headboard to hold onto, I can generally manage for a while, but I prefer to do something less taxing for the time being. I feel like I'm squashing my fiance, and I don't move as smoothly or as fast as I did when I was younger and thinner. "Rear entry" is my favorite as well--because it makes me the least self-conscious. I would support the suggestions the other posters have had; y'all have great ideas!

I too find myself "holding my port" sometimes if I've got my legs up a little too far and stuffs a jigglin'. I have found that a good way to be on top both pre-op and post op is to just do squats. I think much like mrusso was describing. I just squat down with the bottoms of my feet on the mattress and my knees horizontal, instead of on the mattress. Once you get in that position its really versatile. If you want to work out your thighs you can move yourself up and down with your legs (Its a really good workout!). If you want to be lazy you can bring your knees toward his chest, get him to bring his legs up behind you and then pull/push you back and forth. I don't know if I'm making any sense. Maybe you can figure it out.

I'm 6 feet tall, my highest weight was about 275. My sex NSV is now when I'm on top I can be completely nekkid. I always wore a gown or tshirt before, because I was so self-concious.